Chad Dylan Cooper On
by GingerFlight
Summary: Hey, it's CDC. Because I'm such a great guy, I'm here to share some of my superior knowledge with you about anything and everything. Well, everything except Sonny Munroe. But she falls into a different category.  Multi-chap, CHANNY in every chapter!
1. Nuts

**I had the idea for this story last night. I hope no one else has done this before. I don't think so. c: Anyway, I hope you like this first chapter. And yes, there will be Channy in every chapter. There might be just a hint of it, or maybe there'll be a lot. But it'll be there. So enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sonny with a Chance.**

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><p>Hey, there. I'm Chad Dylan Cooper. Yes, the one and only CDC. You may have heard of me before. Who hasn't heard of <em>moi<em>? I'm the greatest actor of my generation, the winner of more than eight Tween Choice awards, star of television's most popular tween show, Mackenzie Falls. Not to mention I know everything there is to know about anything. When you're the hottest celebrity, you kind of have to know everything.

What, you think I'm joking? Tsk. I pity you and your undersized brain.

If you want proof of my superior knowledge, then go ahead and give me some random topic to inform you about with my supreme Chadness. It can be about anything, anything at all. Pinatas, water balloons, go carts, I don't care. If I think your topic is worthy of the Chadness of Chad Dylan Cooper, then I will use it on my little... hmm, what could you call it? A blog? Well, it's not really a blog, I guess.

Let's just call it my Chadly Wisdom Center. It's got a nice ring to it, huh?

So go ahead. Give me any topic. _I dare you. _

Sorry, scratch that. Don't give me any topic related to Sonny Munroe. Who is she, you ask? Oh, just some diva from this stupid rival show of ours. She doesn't matter, it's only _me _that matters. Besides, Sonny Munroe doesn't fall under the catergory of 'Anything and Everything'. She's under the category of 'Something', a.k.a. Something That Continues to Baffle Me No Matter What I Do.

Just forget about her, ok? She's completely nuts.

Which brings us to my first topic of the day.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Nuts**

Nuts. Ew. I hate nuts. I mean, first off, you can barely even open the shells of the stuff, and you have the use some dumb nutcracker to do it for you. You ever seen a nutcracker? Lemme tell you, they're disturbing. I wouldn't want some wooden little man putting his teeth all over my nut. It's just sick.

And besides, nuts aren't good for you. Do you know how many people are allergic to nuts in this world? You could be next to fall to the deadliness of the evil nut.

Hey, don't say I didn't warn you.

Oh, yes, and they're gross. Trust me.

But there's another problem with nuts, too. I _have _to like them, even though I don't like them.

Confused? I'm sure you are.

A few weeks ago, the Randoms (the idiots from the dumb rival show I mention earlier) were selling cookies for the little weird girl's Blossom Scout thing. Two of the Randoms, weird girl and Sonny (the diva I mentioned) were handing out a few samples in the cafeteria, and as I passed by I suddenly felt like buying some cookies. Not to help them out, of course. Please! Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't help losers. I just rub it in their face about how rich I am.

So I walked over to the table they were at and gave Sonny an irresistably charming smile. "Hey, there. Think you can give the greatest actor of our generation a free cookie?"

Across from her, the weird girl, Zora, scowled at me. "Don't fall for it, Sonny, he's trying to stop us from raising money again." Oh, please. I only did that because the daughter of my boss made me do it. I would've gotten fired otherwise. I can't believe they still aren't over that.

Sonny glanced over at Zora, then smiled brightly at me. There's one thing I know about Sonny Munroe: She's usually always happy. I'm serious, the girl just can't stop smiling. It gets annoying after a while. Though I have to admit, it's kind of cute...

Did I just say cute? I meant to say... odd. Or disturbingly distracting. Something like that. Look, just forget it.

Anyway, she said, "Well, I can give you one sample. But then you'll have to buy a box." She waved one of the said boxes in the air and informed me eagerly, "You won't believe how much money we earned today! And we're going to donate it all to charity - "

I decided to annoy her and made a face. "Charity? Ew. Never mind, I don't want any of your cookies."

My annoyance tactic worked. She frowned. Remember I said she can't stop smiling? I take that back. She occasionally does stop smiling. Around me.

If I can make the exploding ball of sunshine quit being so sunny, that just proves how awesome I really am.

"Look, Cooper, if you don't want cookies, then please leave," she told me bluntly. "There are more customers waiting in line."

I looked behind me. The cafeteria was pretty much empty, and there was no line behind me. Even the little weird girl had made off with the money she'd earned while I was chatting with Miss Perkyface over here. "No, there isn't."

She raised her hands in frustration. "Well, there would be if you'd stop wasting my time!"

"Look, I'll buy a cookie, ok!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

We glared at each other for a minute, then she handed me a cookie. "Eat it!"

"I will!" I retorted back angrily before popping it into my mouth and chewing. "There, you see? I'm eating it - "

That's when when the disgusting flavor reached my tastebuds. There were nuts in the cookie. _Nuts. _OH, HELL NO.

I spat out the cookie on the floor. "Oh, gross! Ew! That's disgusting!" I grabbed a napkin off of the table and proceeded to wipe my tongue, trying to get rid of the taste. Sonny stared at me. I could tell she was trying hard not to laugh. "Did you like it?" she asked innocently.

I glared at her. "You were trying to poison me, weren't you! You know what, there is no way I'm buying cookies from you!"

She scoffed. "Chad, don't be such a baby. There's no poison in there, just..." She picked up a box of cookies and glanced at it, then finished, "...nuts." She glanced up at me and smiled. "You don't like nuts, Chad?"

I didn't answer her. No need to give her the satisfaction.

I guess she took my answer as a yes, because she nodded sympathetically and went on, "It's ok, I don't like nuts either."

And now you see my problem. If Sonny Munroe didn't like nuts, then I _had _to like nuts.

What, you don't get it?

I dunno, it's just the way it works. My way of annoying her, I suppose. If she dislikes something, I have to like/love it. If she likes something, I have to dislike/hate it. She likes pizza? I dislike pizza. She dislikes The Terminator? I like the The Terminator.

She likes James Conroy? I HATE James Conroy.

Such is life.

So if she disliked nuts, then... well, you get the picture.

Therefore I said, "Psh! Please, Sonny, of course I like nuts. _Real_ actors like nuts. I mean, I'm _nutty_ about nuts." I smirked.

She raised an eyebrow. "Really, Chad? Really?"

I ignored her. "Besides, why in the world would you think that I don't like nuts?"

She crossed her arms. "Chad, you just spit the cookie out onto the floor and said it was disgusting."

"Well, the cookie dough tasted bad," I countered back smoothly. Man, I was good.

She snorted derisively. "Oh, yeah. Sure. You're so lying, Cooper."

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

"Am not!"

"Fine," she said, putting one hand on her hip and suddenly grinning slyly at me. My first thought when I saw her do that was, _Uh oh, this isn't gonna be pretty._

"Prove it," she went on. "Eat a nut."

I scoffed. "I don't have to prove anything to a Random."

She leaned forward across the table. "I dare you."

I hadn't realized how close she'd gotten to my face. Had I been leaning downwards during our conversation/argument? Huh. Weird. Well, anyway. She'd done it now. She'd dared the Chad. Nobody dares the Chad except... well, except the Chad.

"Well, I would, Munroe, but you said I can only have one sample cookie, remember?" I said, grinning as the smile disappeared off her face. "So there's no way to prove that." I shook my head and chuckled. "Well, I'm going, then. Catch ya later." I winked at her, then started to walk away.

"Wait," came her voice from behind me. I sighed and turned. "What now?"

Her expression, which had been frustrated just a second ago, had now turned into that expression she always gets when she has an idea. She stood up on a table (what the heck was up with that?), cupped her hands around her mouth, and said loudly, "Attention, cafeteria people!"

The few people in the cafeteria looked over at the crazy girl standing on a table and stared at her blankly. Well, I couldn't blame them for being weirded out. Seriously, Sonny, you couldn't have just called for their attention on the floor like a normal person?

"Chad Dylan Cooper here says he likes nuts," she explained to the people. "I think he's lying. So we need a nut for him to eat to prove that he's nutty about nuts." She made quotation marks with her hands around the last three words. "Does anyone here have a nut we can borrow?"

Silence.

Her confidence seemed to ebb a bit. Haha. "Anyone at all?"

I smirked when nothing greeted her but silence. "Nice try, Munroe, but - "

"I have a peanut!" some random guy said. I glared at him, attempting to yell at him through mind speak that he should just shove the peanut up his... you know what, I'm not gonna finish that thought. Little kids might be reading this. Not very appropriate. Not that I care or anything.

Sonny smiled triumphantly at me, then turned her smile to the random dude. "Thank you, Jake!" she said, bouncing off the table (literally bouncing) and making her way over to the guy to get the stupid peanut.

I'm sorry, but how did she know his name? He doesn't work on her show. Does she like him? He's not even good looking! I still have to confront her about this.

She pranced back over to me and practically shoved the peanut in my face. "Here. Eat. Now."

"Wow, only one syllable words, Munroe? You're losing brain cells."

She frowned. "Chad..."

"Fine, I'll eat the stupid nut." I grabbed the peanut from her hand and looked at it. I could always just throw it back at her and then tuck and roll out of there. But then I'd seem like a chicken, and she'd come after me doing her stupid bawking thing. Therefore I popped it into my mouth and prepared for the worst.

It tasted... eh. Like, not gross, but still not very appetizing. I managed to swallow it down after a few chews, then smirked at her. "Hah! I won!"

Sonny looked like she didn't believe me. "Open your mouth."

"There's nothing in there. What, do you really think I'd _pretend_ to eat it?" I asked, feigning shock.

"Yes."

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth reluctantly. She peered at it, then sighed. "Well, Chad, I guess you were right. And I was wrong."

Ah, my favorite thing to hear. Of course I was right. "That wasn't so hard to admit, was it?"

She grimaced. "Whatever. Ok, well, I'm going to go back to selling the cookies. See you around, Chad."

I watched her as she headed back to her cookies, then walked after her and slapped a wad of money on the table. "Here."

She looked at it in surprise. "I thought you didn't want the cookies."

"Oh, I don't," I clarified.

She shook her head. "Chad, I can't take your money."

Oh, silly, stubborn Sonny. She really doesn't understand how Hollywood works.

"Just think of it as my donation to charity," I said, smiling at her.

She tentatively smiled back at me. "Wow. That's actually really nice of you."

"Yeah, I know," I said, popping my collar. "But don't expect it to happen too often. I have an image to protect you know."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Get out of here, Cooper."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Fine."

We smiled at each other, and then I headed back to the Mackenzie Falls set.

So there you have it. I beat Sonny Munroe at her little game. And you know what? I didn't even have to eat a nut! Because a peanut isn't actually a nut, it's a legume! Yes, I actually knew that the whole time. No, I did not look it up on Google after that whole showdown...

So ha, Munroe! Ha ha HA!

Ahem.

Well, I hope you've learned a lot of things from my Chadly Wisdom Center today. I'll be back soon with more of my superior knowledge and info. And none of it will have to do with Sonny Munroe. At all. I swear.

Chad Dylan Cooper out. Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>If anyone would like to suggest a topic for Chad to discuss, then feel free to do so in reviews. He may use it, he may not. It depends. You can't question what Chad Dylan Cooper does, y'know.<strong>

**Anyway, if I could get at least two or three reviews, I'd really appreciate it. More than that would be awesome, too. :D Thanks!**


	2. Dogs

**Wow, seven reviews! Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and put this story on their alerts! I'm glad to see that you guys like this so far. I was actually quite nervous that no one would enjoy it.**

**I got some pretty good topic suggestions, which I'll hopefully get around to using in here.  
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**Thank you again, and I hope you like the latest CDC topic!  
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><p>Hello, my adoring fans. It's CDC again, back with more of my Chadly wisdom. Many of you suggested quite a few things, most of which I'll eventually get around to informing you about. But alas, I can only discuss one topic per post. Why? Because I said so, that's why. Whatever I say goes, as you'll soon learn.<p>

But before I get started on our topic, there's something really important I need to say...

Why the heck did two people suggest for me to discuss the Kiss Cam?

I'm sorry, but who do you think you are? You don't talk about the Kiss Cam in front of the Chad. It's an unspoken rule that I assumed everyone knew, but I guess I was wrong. You people should be ashamed of yourself. Ashamed, I tell you! The Kiss Cam is a stupid, disgusting thing, and I hope whoever invented it falls off a cliff! I mean, what kind of sick wacko would think up something like that? Was it some horny guy who woke up one day and thought, "Oh, hey, I'm gonna invent a Kiss Cam so I can watch people making out, because it's just so entertaining and totally not weird or creepy at all!"? I bet that's exactly how it happened!

Stupid horny guy. I hate your guts.

And you know, because of that dumb Kiss Cam, a certain brunette girl could end up kissing some guy who isn't even that good looking, and then their picture could appear on the cover of a magazine and... and it's just gross!

No, I'm not speaking from experience!

Look, whatever, ok? I'm gonna stop talking about it, because it's not worth my time. Kiss Cam. Pfft.

Now on to the real topic.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Dogs**

I have never had a dog, and I never will. Honestly, I don't see what's the big fuss about them. Sure, puppies are cute, to a certain extent. That extent ends when they start chewing your shoes, peeing on your couch, and slobbering. I don't like things that slobber, ok? I had every right to shove that puppy away. Hey, you would've done the same thing, too, if a dog started drooling all over your leg! Why people got so worked up over the whole puppy shoving thing is beyond me.

A good thing that came out of that puppy shoving incident was that I bought my own company and called it Rent-a-Dog. Catchy, huh? You need to rent a dog, we let you rent a dog. Only thirty bucks every two hours. That's a really good deal, believe me.

Anyway, back to the topic. People seem to like dogs so much because they're loyal, and they're "man's best friend". Oh, yeah, sure. So when a dog chases you and tears a big hole in your pants, that's supposed to be friendly? Yeah, right.

Again, I'm not speaking from personal experience. It happened in... in a movie. Yep.

The truth is... dogs are just plain stupid.

I'm sorry, but they are.

And to think people cry over them when they die. Please. What's the big deal? They're just _dogs_. Sheesh.

Yeah, it's true. People do cry over silly things like that. Look, I'll even give you an example.

Maybe a month ago or something, I went to visit the Randoms at their little Prop House, just to rub in their faces how Mack Falls was on the cover of Tween Weekly. Again. Hah! Anywho, when I got there, four of the Randoms were huddled together, talking all at once in loud voices. It kind of sounded like they were arguing about something. Naturally, I had to know what was going on, so I walked up to them and asked, "Oh, what's the trouble in Chuckle City?"

The blond, Tawni, turned to glare at me. "What're you doing here, Chad?"

"Well, I _was _going to show you the new Tween Weekly magazine... but this looks more interesting," I said, grinning. "What's going on?"

"None of your business, Pooper," the fat guy, Grady, said.

Haha. So funny and mature. I rolled my eyes at him. "Everything is my business." It was then that I noticed there was something missing in the room. I glanced around, then turned back to the Randoms. "Where's Sonny?"

"Why do you care?" Nico asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't," I responded smoothly. "I'm just curious."

Zora suddenly grinned at me with this scary glint in her eye. "Curiosity killed the Chad."

Was she threatening me? "Satisfaction brought the Chad back," I countered.

"That doesn't rhyme," Grady protested.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"All of you, be quiet!" Tawni said, sounding annoyed, then narrowed her eyes at me. "She's in our dressing room, bawling her eyes out. Happy now?"

My first thought was, _Sonny's crying? Who broke her heart? I'm gonna go punch them. _Then I reminded myself, _Dude, you don't even care._

So instead I said, "Did she finally realize what a terrible show she works on?"

They each gave me the evil eye. "She won't tell us what's wrong," Tawni told me. "And she locked the door."

"Isn't there another door?" I asked.

They all stared at me. "Oh, that's right," Grady said lamely. God, they're so stupid.

"She probably locked that one, too," Tawni scoffed.

I shook my head. "Right. So what're you guys doing? You're her friends, right? Shouldn't you be trying to, I dunno, comfort her?"

"Didn't you hear us? The doors are locked." Zora scowled at me.

"But we're working out a plan that will cheer her up in no time," Nico added, grinning.

"It involves a rubber duck, a sun visor, and dental floss," the weird girl said seriously.

"Woah, woah, wait, I thought we were going to use a pineapple hat instead of a sun visor!" Grady whined.

"But that would look stupid!"

"But it would be funny, which would cheer her up!"

"Grady, that's ridiculous."

"Well, you suggested we use a unicorn, which is an even worse idea! You know unicorns don't come out during the daytime!"

"Unicorns don't exist," I said, but they didn't hear me. They'd all returned to arguing. I sighed and rolled my eyes. Obviously it was up to me to make everything better, since those doofuses were probably going to spend the rest of the day arguing about nocturnal unicorns and ducks. How idiotic.

You'd never catch us Mack Falls people doing that. Oh, no.

I made my way to Sonny's dressing room. As I got closer, I heard a muffled noise, like someone was crying into a pillow. I tried to open the door and failed. The Randoms had been right about one thing: It was locked. I knocked on the door. "Sonny? You in there?"

"Go away," came her voice, which sounded half strangled.

"Well, now I have to stay," I said, hoping for some sort of response. You know, laughter, a witty retort, something like that. All I got was sniffles. Not good. Not that I was worried about her or anything.

Ok, fine, I was worried. So what? That doesn't prove anything.

"Sonny, open this door right now, or so help me I will break it down!" I said loudly. No answer. "All right, fine, I'll break it down. Here I go, I'm coming in." Really, I didn't want to break down the door. It wasted too much energy. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

So I was about to kick the door off its hinges when it suddenly opened a crack. Needless to say, I was pretty relieved. I smoothed down my jacket and then poked my head into the room. "Sonny?"

That's when I saw her. Sitting on the couch, pretty much surrounded by tissues. Her eyes were red and puffy, like she'd been crying for hours, and that annoying smile I told you about earlier? It was gone. The result was... really depressing. And upsetting. Because Sonny Munroe is supposed to be always happy and bubbly and whatever, and now she looked kind of... broken.

I was... concerned, I guess. "Sonny, what happened? What's wrong?" I walked over to the couch and sat down beside her, carefully avoiding the tissues. Sonny sniffled. "It's n-nothing," she said, more tears pouring down her face.

"You're a really bad liar, Sonny," I told her. "This is obviously something. So what happened? Did someone dump you? Who was it? I'll go beat them up for you, if you want." Thinking back on it, I have no idea why I said that. Why do I always say stupid things around her? Arghhh.

Sonny managed a tiny smile, though the tears will still coming down. "N-No, that's not it. It's just..." She began to cry harder.

My concern was steadily rising. "What?" Without really thinking about it, I put and arm around her and hugged her to me. "Come on, you can tell me."

Sonny's face contorted into an expression of extreme sadness. Jeez, she was really upset. "This is the d-d-day my d-dog died," she sobbed.

I stared down at her blankly, resisting the urge to play with her soft looking hair. "That's it? Why are you crying about that?"

She punched me in the shoulder. The nerve of her. There I was, sitting there trying to comfort her when I could be doing more important things, and she tried to injure me. What the heck? "Ow! What was that for?"

"You're so s-stupid," she said, and now she was half laughing, half crying.

"Gee, thanks. Maybe I should just take my stupid self and leave..." I started to get up, but she clutched my arm. "No, d-don't go!" she wailed, and started crying even harder.

Girls. They're so emotional.

I waited until her sobs had died down a bit, then put a hand under her chin and gently lifted her head up. Her big brown eyes gazed up at my own amazing blue eyes, looking all sad and innocent.

I had this weird desire to kiss her then. That's weird, isn't it? I mean, I don't even like her. She's dumb and a diva with an attitude, and she's annoying and -

The point is, I don't like her.

Anyway, I said, "So tell me about your dog. I'm listening."

She sniffed, but didn't cry anymore. Thank God. My sleeve was getting all wet. "His name was Lucky. He was a beagle with three legs and one eye."

That was kind of disturbing. But I didn't say anything, I just let her talk.

"Sometimes we called him other names, too. Like Limpy. The Blindy. But it didn't matter what we called him, because he was deaf, too!" She laughed a tiny bit, and I couldn't help but smile. "Anyway, when I was six, he came to our house one day and sat on the porch like a rug. I almost tripped over him when I went out to play. I begged my mom to let me keep him, and eventually she said yes. He was the best dog ever." Sonny's eyes welled up with tears again, and I thought _Oh, great_. But instead of crying, she cleared her throat and wiped her eyes. "I always played with him, and he ran in the cutest way ever, you know, because of his missing leg. And he really loved meatballs. I fed him so much that he got kind of fat." She looked down. "Then when I was nine, I threw a ball and he ran out onto the road. He didn't see the car coming, and..." She trailed off.

I didn't say anything for a second. "I'm sorry about your dog."

"Thanks." She sniffed again, then smiled up at me. I instantly felt a lot better. I'd been all worried just a second before, but now that she was smiling that annoying (but cute/odd/disturbingly distracting) smile, that meant the worst was over. "It was really sweet of you to come in and comfort me, Chad. And listen to me through all of that." She laughed softly.

I shrugged. "Hey, I'm Chad Dylan Cooper. I can't have my Sonny crying around the whole studio."

She stiffened in my arms. At first I was sure what I'd done wrong, but then she said slowly, "My Sonny?"

Oh, shit. I think my face turned red. "Er... I mean... my is my nickname for you. Like, I was saying, 'you, Sonny'. You know." I looked the other way and cleared my throat.

"I thought you said 'we' was your nickname for me," she said dubiously. I laughed nervously. "I have two nicknames for you. Duh. Didn't you know that, Sunshine? There, ya see, three nicknames."

She shook her head. "Whatever." Then she glanced at my arm around her. "Um..."

"Right, sorry." I pulled away from her and stood up. "Well, I'm glad you feel better, Sonny. Though I'm sure your dog's in a much better place now."

"You think so?" She gazed up at me, her eyes wide, and I smiled. "Sure. You'll see Blindy the Limpy again."

"It's Limpy the Blindy," she giggled. "But thanks. I sure hope so."

"Welll..." I glanced around. "If that's it, then I'm just gonna go now. I have more important things to do than chat with you. For instance, my photo shoot in an hour."

She rolled her eyes. "Sure, Chad."

I took my magazine out of my pocket and tossed it to her. "Show your fun hut buddies this, ok?" I smirked at her. "Speaking of which, they're going to try and cheer you up with unicorns and floss. That might be something to get worried about."

She laughed. "They mean well. I'll take care of it." She tossed the magazine onto the chair behind her. "Catch you around, Chad." She gave me another bright smile.

"See ya later, Munroe." I winked at her before striding out the door.

So the moral of this story is: Don't get a dog, because if it dies then you're just going to waste a bunch of crocodile tears on some dumb mutt.

I really hope Sonny doesn't make this an annual thing, because I really don't want to have to comfort her about this thing again.

Anyway, that's it for today. Keep watch for more of my Chadly Wisdom! Topic suggestions are always welcome!

Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>I'm aiming for at least ten reviews this time. My goal probably won't be met, but I can dream, can't I? :D Thanks for reading!<strong>


	3. Paparazzi

**Wow, I actually met my goal of 10 reviews! I've never gotten that many reviews for the second chapter of any of my stories! Thank you guys so much! 3 I can't believe I'm getting so much good feedback for this. I love you guys.**

**Well, here's a new chapter for you all, so enjoy! :)**

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><p>Greetings, fans of the Chad! I have some great news. You should probably sit down before I tell you this, just in case my Chadtastic news makes you faint from pure joy. Don't say I didn't warn you.<p>

I'm going to play yet another lead role in a movie!

Well, they actually haven't cast the role yet... but come on, I'm Chad Dylan Cooper, the greatest actor of my generation. That part is as good as mine, hehe.

Moving on.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Paparazzi**

Ah, the paparazzi. They're sleazy, rude, tactless, and have no idea what the words 'personal space' means.

I love them so much.

Seriously, they are simply brilliant! Of course, they can get annoying sometimes. But everything gets annoying at some point in our lives, so really, what's the difference?

One thing that goes in their favor is that they go around taking pictures of the one and only CDC to print on the covers of various magazines. How could you not love them for that?

And you have to admire their dedication. The way they won't quit until they get that one little picture, no matter what the odds are or how impossible it seems, or how much people start to hate them for it... it's just amazing.

Heck, they're almost as dedicated as I am to my acting! Almost, but not quite. I am way more dedicated, for I am an actor. A real actor, not like those talentless losers who just do "funny". Blegh.

Anyway, my point is that the paparazzi are great. They're terrible, and yet they are great.

But like I said, they can get pretty annoying sometimes. Like that one time three weeks ago.

We'd just finished filming an episode for Season 4 of Mackenzie Falls (spoiler: My stepmother turns out to be my other long lost sister that I never knew about! What a twist, huh?), and I'd just walked out of the studio, all set to head back home and relax.

Just as I approached my sweet new convertible, I happened to glance to my left, and guess what I saw?

I saw Sonny Munroe chucking a muffin at her car.

Yep. Bet you didn't see that one coming, now, did ya?

I really should've just kept walking towards my convertible. But unfortunately my curiosity got the better of me. Also, I sensed an opportunity to tease the ball of sunshine. Naturally, I took it.

"Now, Sonny, what did that poor car ever do to you?" I asked as I walked towards her, frowning in mock disapproval. She glared at me. "Not now, Chad!"

"Somebody's not in a good mood," I noted. "What's up?"

She groaned and turned her glare to her car. "My car won't work," she admitted. "I don't know what's wrong! It was fine this morning."

I raised an eyebrow. "So... you threw a muffin at it? Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Not."

"I was frustrated, ok?" She sighed and shook her head. Then all of a sudden she was staring at me as though I was to be blamed for her dumb car not working. "Chad, did you have anything to do with this?"

"Me?" I asked incredulously.

"It's just that every time something bad happens, you seem to be behind it," she said accusingly, folding her arms across her chest and glaring daggers at me.

Can you believe her? What a drama queen. I would never, ever do such a thing. Ever.

...Well, ok, maybe I would. But I hadn't done anything to her car this time, I swear. Which is exactly what I told her.

She gave me a doubtful look, then sighed and leaned against her car, her bangs falling down across her eyes as she did so. It was amazing how pretty she looked like that. And I'm not saying that because I have feelings for her or anything. Don't worry, I would never feel that way about a Random, of all people. Her prettiness was simply an undeniable fact.

"So what am I gonna do now?" she asked, kicking the muffin, which had fallen onto the ground. "I can't go home, and that was my last muffin..." She turned and proceeded to hit her head against the car door.

"That's probably not safe," I pointed out.

"Shut up," she said.

There was silence, only interrupted by the occasional bonking sound as she hit her head against the car. Then I had a fantastic idea. "How about I give you a ride home?"

She stopped banging her head against the car and turned to stare at me in surprise. "I'm sorry, what?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Didn't you hear me the first time?"

"Oh, I heard you. I just can't believe it." She straightened up and walked over to me. "You're going to give me a ride home? Me? In your convertible?"

I shrugged. "Yeah...?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "What's the catch?"

She can't just assume I'm doing something nice just to be nice? Sheesh. "There's no catch. I just don't want you to get a concussion over there and then blame me for it."

She seemed to think my answer made sense. Then she glanced at her car. "What about my car?"

"Leave it here. You can call a mechanic in the morning."

"But how will I get to the studio tomorrow?"

"Your mom has a car, right? Seriously, do I have to do all the thinking around here?"

"Fine," she said. "I'll let you give me a ride home."

Like I would've given her a choice about it. But I didn't press it any more, because she might change her mind. Instead, I opened the passenger seat door to my convertible. She gave me another surprised look. "You're being oddly gentlemanly," she mumbled before sliding into the seat. I couldn't help but smile. Then I circled around to the other side and plopped down into the driver's seat. I inserted the key and started up the car, and then we were on our way down the streets of Hollywood.

We didn't speak at first. She just stared at the window, and I stared at the road. Finally, I couldn't take the silence any longer. Drumming my fingers against the wheel, I said casually, "So, do you want to go get a bite to eat?"

She turned away from the window and faced me. Not that I could see her face, because I was focused on the road. Safe driving means happy and alive driver. Remember that, kids.

"I thought you were taking me home."

"Oh, I am," I said agreeably. "I just thought you might want something to replace that muffin you wasted."

"Oh. Well, that's nice of you."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," I noticed.

"It's not a bad thing. It's just... weird." I could practically hear her raise her eyebrows, if that makes any sense. It took all I had not to look at her. "Why are you doing this, Chad? We're enemies, remember?"

"So I'm fraternizing with the enemy." I shrugged. "Sonny, I'm Chad Dylan Cooper. I can do what I please."

"You're so self-centered," she said, sounding annoyed.

"And yet I'm helping you."

"Don't try to confuse me!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Fine!"

"Fine - Chad, look out!"

I'd been so busy arguing with her, I'd taken my eyes off the road for one split second. So of course that's the moment some mutt chooses to walk in the middle of the road and calmly sit down as though he owned the place. I swerved, attempting to avoid the dog, and nearly hit the curb in the process. Somehow, we made it safely to a corner, where I immediately stopped the car and shut off the engine.

After I'd managed to calm down a bit, I said aloud, "I hate dogs."

Sonny was still panting slightly, her eyes wide. "Remind me never to ride with you again after today."

I chose not to answer her. Instead, I opened my door, got out, then bent down and asked, "Well, you coming?"

She stared at me like I'd just grown an extra head. "We're not at my apartment yet."

"No, I didn't realize," I said sarcastically. "Look, there's a café right over there." I pointed. "Don't you want to get a muffin?"

I could sense her resolve weakening. "Well... I guess. So long as you don't try and kill another dog."

"I didn't try to kill the dog!" I said, feeling frustrated, but then I saw from her teasing smile that she was just joking. I relaxed and smirked. "I know you love my convertible, Munroe, but you have to get out for now."

She rolled her eyes at me, then climbed out of the car and skipped on ahead of me towards the café. I followed behind her at a much slower, cooler pace. Because skipping is stupid and makes you look like a complete idiot. On Sonny, though, it doesn't look quite so idiotic. More like childishly innocent. I dunno.

When I entered the café, Sonny had already found a seat at a table and looked much more cheerful than she had earlier. She waved at me when I entered. "Chad, over here!"

I walked over to her. "So what kind of muffin do you want?"

"Ooh, cranberry! No, no, blueberry. With sugar on it!" She beamed at me with her huge smile. I raised my eyebrows. "I don't think too much sugar is good for you, Sonny. How about a sugarfree muffin instead?"

She sighed. "I'll just have a regular blueberry muffin, Chad. And lemonade."

I winked at her. "Coming right up, Miss Munroe."

I ducked as she threw a paper napkin ball at me. "No need for the sarcasm, Cooper," she said, smirking at me.

Ignoring her, I headed off in the direction of the cashier. Once I'd gotten Sonny's muffin and some lemonade (along with a chocolate chip cookie for myself), I returned to our table and set down the tray. "Enjoy."

She smiled happily at me, then grabbed the muffin and took a bite. She closed her eyes blissfully. "Mmm, this is good."

I picked up my cookie and turned it over in my hand. To be honest, I wasn't really that hungry. But I'd figured I might as well get something for my own amazing self, too. I could always save it for later. "You regretting riding with me?" I asked.

She frowned thoughtfully. "Well, I did when you almost killed the dog. But this beautiful muffin changed my mind." She smiled at me, and I smiled back.

The whole time we'd been in the café, no one had really taken any notice of us, which was good. I was surprised that no one had recognized me, Chad Dylan Cooper, but at that moment I didn't really care. I didn't want anyone to see me with Sonny Munroe, the starlet from the stupid rival show. That would be terrible.

So when I heard a camera click from outside the window behind me, I knew we were in trouble.

I froze. "Sonny, I think it's time to go."

She paused in the sipping of her lemonade, the straw still in her mouth. "Why?" she asked, her tone confused.

I made it a point not to look behind me. "Paparazzi."

She shrugged. "So? We aren't doing anything that would be big in the celebrity gossip. We're just eating."

I suddenly realized how bad this situation really was. "Sonny. We're two people. A guy and a girl. Eating together. In a café."

"What's your point?"

"My point is that to anyone else, this would look like a date!" I whisper yelled.

She stared at me unclomprehendingly at first. Then a faint blush spread across her cheeks. I probably imagined it, though, because the next second she'd started laughing. "A date? Chad, that's ridiculous."

"Is it, Sonny? Is it really?"

She looked over my shoulder and paled a bit. My guess is she saw the paparazzi out there and started to feel a bit panicky. "But... we'd never go on a date! Not a real one, anyway."

She's so incredibly naive. "Yeah, I know that, and you know that. But the paparazzi don't know that."

Her eyes widened. "So what do we do?"

I scoffed at her. "We make a break for it and try to lose them, of course. Haven't you ever been chased by paparazzi before?"

She shook her head dumbly, and I nodded. "Yeah, that's right, you're probably not worth their time..."

She shot me an annoyed look, then took a deep breath. "Ok. Should we run now?"

"That'd be the best idea, yeah."

"All right, then." She snatched up her half-eaten muffin and yelled, "Let's blow this popsicle stand!" Then she charged out the door. I was right behind her.

We made it halfway to the car when the two paparazzi standing there suddenly realized we were making a break for it. They looked startled for a second, then hefted up their cameras, all set to take a picture. Well, hell, I wasn't gonna let that happen. By that time we'd jumped inside my convertible, and I'd started the ignition. "Duck your head!" I yelled at Sonny, and for once in her life she obeyed without making some witty retort. Then I grabbed the wheel, swerved away from the curb, and zoomed off.

"Are they gone?" Sonny asked, raising her head. If you're too dumb to figure this out, by the way, I asked her to duck her head so the paparazzi couldn't get a shot of her face. I'm such a brilliant thinker.

I ignored her question. "'Let's blow this popsicle stand'?" I quoted her, glancing at her incredulously. "What the heck?"

She grinned. "Sorry, I've always wanted to say that."

I rolled my eyes. Typical. "Whatever. Anyway, we're going to have to take some detours before we can go to your apartment, just in case they're tailing us. Hopefully you can manage sitting down that long."

"Oh, don't worry, Chad, I'll be fine. You just concentrate on your driving and try not to run over a dog."

"Would you please quit it with the dog thing!"

Anyway, the rest of the drive consisted of blissful silence, with Sonny's occassional yell of 'Wheee!' as I made a turn or whatever. That girl is really something, I'll tell you that much.

We arrived at Sonny's apartment in due time. If the paparazzi had been following us, we'd lost them ages ago. All's well that ends well, eh?

Sonny didn't get out of the convertible right away. Instead she continued to sit there, which for some reason I didn't mind all too much. Then she looked at me and smiled. "I had a lot of fun today, Chad." She laughed. "It was like I was in an action movie or something."

I smirked at her. "Well, wherever Chad Dylan Cooper goes, excitement follows."

"I'll remember that for future reference," she said, giggling. "Well, thanks for the ride, Chad. And the muffin."

"So... would you like a ride to the studio tomorrow morning?" I waggled my eyebrows at her, and she grinned. "Yeah, I think I've had enough of your Chadly excitement for a while. But I'll think about it." She slipped out of the car. "Well, bye Chad!" Without giving me time to say goodbye, she ran up the steps and into the apartment building.

After that, I headed home. And the next morning, I ended up giving Sonny a ride to the studio. Her excuse was that her mom had to go somewhere and couldn't drive her. Maybe that's true, but mostly I think it's because she couldn't resist my extreme charm.

So the point of the story is this: Paparrazi are brilliant, but annoying. And they can really mess up your day.

Now the sad thing is that the paparazzi actually did manage to get one picture of us, when we were eating, and it did end up in a later issue of Tween Weekly. But Sonny and I were very careful to make sure our casts never saw it.

Long story short, we all lived and fought happily ever after.

All right, that's it for your daily dose of Chadly wisdom! Tune in next time for some more awesome topics from your favorite celebrity.

Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>My goal is now twelve reviews. :D Anyway, thanks to everyone who's been reading, and I hope you liked it! <strong>

**~Ginger**


	4. Love

**Hi, everyone! I was on vacation in the Philippines the whole time I was writing this story, but now I'm back in America. It feels so good to be home. 3 And I still have yet to watch So Random, but I'm not really in any hurry to see it.**

**So thank you to everyone who reviewed! I didn't meet my goal this time, but I expected as much. Twelve reviews is a pretty high goal. xD Well, here's the new chapter, anyway. I'm sorry for the shortness, but you'll forgive me in later chapters. Enjoy!**

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><p>Hey, peeps, the one and only CDC here again! Have you missed me? Of course you have.<p>

Before I start, there's one little thing I have to address. Some random person pointed out that I "would never mention Sonny Munroe, but it's all that ever comes up".

First off, what are you trying to suggest? If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting, then that's just... ew.

Second, I never said I wouldn't mention her. I said that none of the topics would have to do with her at all. And they don't. Can't you people even read right? Nuts and dogs and all that stuff have nothing to do with that diva.

Sonny just happens to pop up in my examples from time to time. It's annoying, I know, but it can't be helped. She's a very annoying person.

I can't believe I have to explain all this simple stuff to you people. Sheesh.

Now, I got some nice topic suggestions, but there was one topic that seemed to be really popular, for some reason I can't even begin to understand. So here goes.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Love**

I don't believe in love. Not for myself, anyway. The Chad doesn't do love. While I do date lots of girls, the thought of being in love with anybody is just weird. Really, love is overrated. I'm sure it's great for some people, but it never worked out for me.

Like one time, when I was six, I thought I was madly in love with this cute little five year old redhead in my class. But then one day I saw her coloring with another guy. Not really that serious, I guess, but for a six year old kid that was basically on the same level as cheating. That was probably the most tragic moment of my young kid life. I pretty much ran home crying to my mommy.

Hey, I was only six, ok?

Needless to say, after that I didn't really like the idea of love all too much.

Though I bet that redhead felt bad for coloring with that loser when I transformed from Chad Dylan Goldfarb to Chad Dylan Cooper. Oh, yeah, baby, you missed out on all of _this. _

Now, there's also two different kinds of lovin' that sound a lot better to me than the whole 'one true love' crap. One is the kind of love where you love pie, or cheesecake, or loganberry smoothies. Stuff like that. I don't mind that lovin'.

The other kind of lovin' that sounds good to me (but I haven't tried it yet, though. My mommy would kill me if I went that far) is the whole making love thing. Of course it sounds good to me. I'm a guy, what'd you expect? Now, I'm not going to talk too much about it, though, because little kiddos could be reading this.

Though I will say that before I had that crush on the redhead girl, when I was, like, five or something, I overheard someone saying something about 'making love'. It might have been my mom arguing with my dad. Or maybe it was someone on one of the soap operas my mom used to watch. Anyway, at the time, I thought that making love was like making some kind of food. So I decided I wanted to go whip up some love. I went into the kitchen and dumped everything that I associated with love into a bowl. Heart candies, chocolate, flowers from a vase on the table, a whole bag of sugar, and more stuff like that went into my special concoction of love.

Then my parents walked in and saw me sitting on top of the table by the big bowl, with sugar in my hair and ingredients all over the floor. When I saw them, I said proudly, "I'm making love!"

I still remember Mom's horrified expression. And how Dad couldn't quit laughing for five minutes straight.

Good times.

That's about all the experience I have with anything love related. Like I said, I don't believe in it. It just seems pointless and dumb.

Of course Sonny thinks it's real, since she's pointless and dumb, too. Just yesterday I passed by her in the cafeteria babbling to one of the Meal or No Meal girls about this romantic movie she saw, and how cute the couple was, and blah blah blah. So I had to stop, tap her on the shoulder, and inform her, "Hey, Sonny? Yeah, no one cares. Oh, and love is stupid." Then I walked away from her. Naturally, she had to go and follow me.

"Chad, just because no one's ever loved you doesn't mean you have to go ruin it for everyone," were her exact words.

I scoffed at her. "Please. I don't need love from anyone."

"Probably because you've already got enough love from your own self," she retorted, a smirk playing on her lips.

Clever reply. But I wasn't about to admit that to her. I frowned at her. "Whatever." I tried to walk off again, but this time she blocked my path. "What have you got against love, anyway?" she asked. Then her expression turned dreamy. "Love is beautiful, sweet, romantic..."

"Disgusting, gross, and lame," I finished for her, giving her a fake smile. "Can you go away now?"

"Seriously, Chad, I mean it. Why do you think it's stupid?" She folded her arms across her chest and added, "I'm not going to move until you tell me."

She's the most annoying girl that ever existed. Have I ever mentioned that before? "Look, it just is, ok?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. Obviously she still wasn't moving. I contemplated either telling her the truth or just shoving her out of my way. But the latter probably would've just gotten me bad press. I can just see the headlines now. "Breaking news, Chad Dylan Cooper just shoved nice girl! First puppies, now girls... what next?"

I didn't need more bad press. So I went with the first option. "All right, fine." So I told her about the little redhead girl I'd thought I was in love with so long ago, and when I was done she just stared at me. I glared at her. "Can you move now?"

Then she started laughing. "So that's it? That's why you think love is stupid, because of something that happened when you were five?"

"Hey, it hurt," I told her. "I'd rather something like that not happen again. Better to keep your heart shut down then get hurt again." I honestly don't know why I told her that. She makes me say the weirdest things. "And for your information, I was six," I added.

She raised her eyebrows at me and made some random gesture with her hands. "Yeah, but if you never get hurt again, would you ever even feel anything again?"

God, she was pretty.

I mean, right. She was right. Not pretty, didn't mean to say that.

"Well, I - " I started to say, but she put a finger against my mouth. I stared at her, taken aback, and she said seriously, "Shh. The time for talking is over." Then she grinned at me and removed her finger. "Really, Chad, just think about it." Then she looked down at her wrist and frowned. "Shoot, rehearsal started five minutes ago!" Then she barged out of the cafeteria without another word.

I did think about it. And I guess she was right, in a weird way.

But love is still stupid.

Though here's a little secret... Sonny is definitely madly in love with me. Oh, she acts like she isn't, but she so is. She just can't resist my Chadtasticness.

Don't tell her I said that, though. She'd probably hunt me down and strangle me. For a happy girl, she's pretty insane.

Anyway, that's it!

Wow. This was shorter than usual.

Well, this topic isn't worth wasting too much time on, I suppose.

So keep watch for more upcoming topics from your favorite celebrity!

Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>Not much Channy in this one. But there's a lot more coming. c: Besides, I didn't want a lot of Channy in a topic like 'Love'. It just seemed kind of... I dunno, obvious. I'm not sure how to explain it, really. <strong>

**But like I said, you'll forgive me for this in the later chapters. **

**Oh, also, some of Sonny and Chad's conversation in this was inspired from _How Do We Do This _by Sterling Knight. I love that song!**

**Reviews are always welcome! Even though it's kind of impossible, I'd really love to meet my review goal. c:**


	5. Twins

**I made up for the last short chapter by writing an extra long one. Whoo! :D I did quite enjoy writing this one, though. Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p>Hello, again, fangirls of the Chad! And maybe fanboys. Who knows?<p>

Now let's just skip right on ahead to the topic for today, since I know what you really want is to hear more of my wise words of... wisdom.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Twins**

Ah, twins. There's nothing bad I can say about twins, to be honest. It's pretty cool to have a twin, actually. I mean, if you're lucky enough to have a twin, you can use him/her to do things for you that you don't want to do.

Say, that's actually a really good idea. I should try that someday. Huh.

Though I will say this: Don't ever go out with someone who has a twin. I did. And it was one of the most terrible experiences in my life, especially when it came time for the crucial dumping moment. I had to go through the shrill screaming _twice. _Ugh.

I have a twin. Well, ok, so he's not my twin, he's my stunt double. But lemme tell you, Chaz could seriously pass as my twin. Though forget I ever told you about him. People aren't really supposed to know I have a stunt double. This'll be our little secret, ok?

Hippo and Gravy (or Nico and Grady, if you'd rather called them that) have look-alikes, too. Now while having twins are cool, that's not a good thing. Have you ever met those two? They're idiots. And with those look-alikes, it's like... four times the stupidness. Terrible, I know.

Thankfully, Blondie and Weird Girl don't have twins. Man, that would be even worse.

Sonny? Eh... I'd love to say she doesn't have a twin. But then I'd be lying.

I don't really like to talk about this, because it was another one of the worst things that ever happened to me. But I do need an example story, so you can get the full force of my Chadly wisom. So here we go, I suppose.

A few days after the filming for my movie ended, I was on my way to the So Random set to have my daily argument with Sonny when I bumped into Selena Gomez.

Let's briefly talk about Selena Gomez, just for a second. I'm sure all of you know who she is, unless you live under a rock or something. She was originally going to star in my movie as Sonny, but then a bunch of stuff happened... it's a long story, but she turned out to be a dirty little relationship wizard trying to get me and Sonny to realize our "feelings" for each other, even though those "feelings" are completely inexistent. Then when Sonny and I proved her wrong, she stormed off in a diva fit. Yeah, I know. I used to be tight with Selena, but after that I've had to be really careful around her. Who knows when she'll try to sprinkle her relationship wizard-y dust again?

So I bumped into her, of all people, and instantly jumped into defensive mode. I made a small karate chop motion with my hands. "Whoa. Selena. What're you doing here? You don't... work here."

Selena turned her gaze to me and frowned, but the frown was immediately replaced by a smile. "Oh, hi, Chad. I'm just visiting Sonny. Apparently I left my recorder behind when I came here last, so she's been keeping it safe for me until I had some time to drop by." She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. "What're _you _doing here?" she asked. Her voice sounded accusing.

"Oh. I'm, er, on my way to rehearsal," I lied.

"Isn't the Mackenzie Falls soundstage that way?" She gestured toward the direction opposite from where I was heading. I wasn't quite sure how to reply to that. Thankfully, I didn't have to.

"Wow, they have a nice fro-yo machine here!" came a familar voice behind me, and then a smiling brunette was standing next to Selena, beaming at her. Selena grinned back at her. "It's pretty cool, huh?" They did some weird kind of handshake thing.

I stared at them. "Um... so aren't you gonna ask her for your recorder now?"

Selena stared right back at me. "Who?"

"Sonny," I said. "She's right there."

"What? Where?" Selena gasped, staring around the hallway.

At the time I thought, _Wow, the relationship wizard is really dumb. _I pointed at the brunette. "Right there next to you." Because it _was_ Sonny. Same face, same big brown eyes, same smile, same pretty hair, same everything.

Selena blinked at Sonny, then giggled. "That's not Sonny."

"Uh, yeah it is," I said, pointing again at Sonny, who was looking at me with a confused expression on her face.

Now Selena was cracking up, and I was seriously getting irritated. "Chad, that isn't Sonny."

I glared at her. This is why I don't hang with Gomez anymore. "Are you blind, woman? Of course it's Sonny, who else could it be?"

Selena shook her head, still grinning. "Wow, Chad. You like Sonny so much that you're seeing her face everywhere," she laughed. It sounded like she was mocking me. She probably was. Ugh.

I started to protest, but Selena held up a finger. "This, Chad, is not Sonny, but my best friend."

The brunette didn't look confused anymore, just amused. "I'm Demi, Demi Lovato. Nice to meet you, Chad. Selena's told me a lot about you." She and Selena laughed, and I wondered what the heck Selena could've possibly told this Demi person. Nothing good, I bet.

I frowned at Demi. Everything about her pretty much screamed Sonny Munroe. "Is this a trick?" I asked suspiciously.

Selena scoffed. "Oh, Chad, I would never try to trick you." Oh, yeah. Sure. Like I'd believe that. "Honestly, I don't know what's up with you. Demi and Sonny don't look at all alike."

"What?" I said, outraged.

Demi beamed at me. "So do you think the greatest actor of our generation can give me an autograph?" she asked sweetly.

Huh. Sonny would never call me that, unless she wanted something from me. And she would never ask me for an autograph. "Well, I guess you aren't Sonny," I said, now surprised. "Wow." I poked her shoulder. "This is _weird_. So are you, like, her relative? A cousin, maybe?" I gasped as a thought occured to me. "Are you Sonny's long lost twin?"

"And you've officially been watching your show too much," Selena said tartly, grabbing Demi's hand. "C'mon, Demi, let's go. I'm sure Chad has to go film something for his show." She smiled at me. Something in her smile looked like a challenge.

What, she thought I was going to go see Sonny? Psh. No way.

Ok, so I had been going to see Sonny. But the relationship wizard didn't need to know that. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing that! "Yes, I do," I said coolly. "I have a lot better things to do than talk to you with all your... wizardy magic beans." I narrowed my eyes at Selena, then turned and started to walk off.

"Bye, Chad! It was nice meeting you!" Sonny's... I mean Demi's voice called after me. I didn't turn around or say goodbye back, because the whole situation was just... freaky.

I thought that after that I was done with the relationship wizard and her buddy. Not the case.

After awhile, I forgot all about Selena and her strangely familiar friend. I had much more important things to deal with, you know. Life at the studio pretty much went back to normal. I made sure not to mention the meeting to anyone, especially Sonny. She didn't say anything to me about how her meeting with the two went, either. So, you know, it wasn't that hard to forget about the whole thing.

Anyway, a few weeks after all that happened, I was lounging on my chair in Stage 2, by myself, eating a cookie from our various assortment of snacks, when Sonny walked into the room and tapped me on the shoulder. "Chad, I need to talk to you."

"Munroe, can't you see that I'm very busy?" I scoffed, taking another bite of my cookie.

Even not looking at her, I could tell she had a disbelieving expression on her face. "Oh, yeah, I can tell. That cookie really has your attention," she said sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes, then turned to glare at her. "Look, what do you want? I'm shooting a scene in thirty minutes."

Sonny bit her lip and fidgeted. "Well, I just need something..."

"No," I interrupted. She stared at me, stunned. "But I didn't even say what I needed!"

"Sonny, the last time you needed something, a picture of you kissing some... guy appeared on the cover of Tween Weekly," I informed her.

"I still don't understand why that's such a big deal, Chad," she said, looking annoyed. "It was just the Kiss Cam!"

"It was completely irresponsible and I was very disappointed in you," I admonished her.

"Whatever. So listen, I have a friend who, for some weird reason, wants to meet you."

"Please tell me she's not seven this time."

Sonny shook her head. "No... she's eight," she admitted reluctantly.

"Sonny!" I groaned.

"But Chad, she really wants to meet you!" she said, staring at me desperately. "And I sort of... kind of... maybe told her that you would..."

"What." It wasn't even a question. Because, to be honest with you, I wasn't really all that surprised. It was so like her to do something like that without asking me first.

"Please, Chad!" she begged. "She's a huge fan! And she'll be so sad if you can't come to see her, because she's a really sweet little girl, and I know you'd love her because she's such a - "

"Fine," I cut in.

"Fine," she started to automatically say, then blinked. "Wait, what?"

I smirked at her. "I'll go meet this huge fan of mine. It better be worth it, though."

She stared at me. "Well, that was weirdly easy."

I shrugged and went back to eating my cookie. After a few seconds, I realized that she was still standing beside me. "What?" I sighed and looked over at her. She was gazing at me with an odd expression on her face. "You know, Chad, you can be a really sweet guy when you want to be," she said thoughtfully.

"I'm not doing it because I want to meet the kid," I said, scoffing. "I'm just doing it for - " I stopped short.

"Me?" she asked, a small smile appearing on her face. I blinked at her. "I never said that," I protested, though my protest sounded a bit lame, even to me.

She shrugged. "You implied it." She sat down on a chair that was on the other side of me. I was going to protest about that, too, but I shut it when she touched my hand. Yeah, she _touched_ my _hand_. Ok, so she's touched my hand before, but it felt different this time. "What're you doing?" I asked nervously.

She was looking down at her hand in mine, a thoughtful expression on her face, and I had to clear my throat so she would look up. "Oh, sorry," she said, sounding embarassed. "It's just that I realized something."

"Like what?" My voice sounded a tiny bit higher pitched.

"It's hard to explain." She laughed softly, and I realized how much I liked her laugh. "Though, you know, you really do have sparkly eyes, Chad." She looked at me with her big brown eyes, and I forgot how to speak. That sounds really cliché, I know, but it's true.

And then she was leaning forward toward my face, and for some reason I was leaning toward her, too. Eventually, we probably would've stopped leaning, and our lips would've met (thinking about that now, I kind of want to barf).

But, then, the unthinkable happened.

"Hey, Chad, do you have a dog whistle?" came a voice from a few feet away, and I heard footsteps approaching rapidly. "Tawni's dog is going insane, and I thought you might have one some...where..." The voice trailed off, and I glanced to the left and receieved the greatest shock of my life. Standing there, looking stunned, was Sonny Munroe.

I think it's safe to say that I nearly had a heart attack.

"Sonny?" I choked out, then turned to stare at the girl sitting next to me. "Sonny?" I repeated, staring back and forth from both brunettes.

"Oh, dear," the Sonny sitting next to me mumbled.

"Um, am I interrupting something?" the Sonny at the other end of the area asked, her voice cracking slightly.

I stood up quickly and nearly tripped over my own feet. Real smooth, right? "No! I mean... what? Who are you people?"

"Oh, come on!" someone groaned from the doorway, and then Selena Gomez stalked onto the set, looking aggravated. "Sonny, what're you doing? It was going so well!"

The Sonny on the other side of the room stared blankly at Selena. "What?"

The Sonny next to me laughed. "Selena, I think the game's up."

"Wait, I'd like to clear something up," I said. "What the heck is going on? Why are there two Sonnys?"

"Two Sonnys?" the Sonny next to Selena asked, her eyebrows raised.

"Chad, I'm Demi," said the Sonny next to me, smiling. "We met before, remember?"

I stared blankly at her. "I have no idea what's happening."

"I'm sorry about tricking you, Chad," Sonny - I mean, Demi said. "But it was for a good reason."

"Wait, so you thought that was me?" Sonny - I figured that was the real Sonny, since she was wearing a plaid shirt, and the real Sonny is obsessed with plaid - asked, looking over at me, her brow furrowed. "Then why were you about to...? Never mind." She turned to Selena and placed her hands on her hips. "I want you to explain. Now."

Selena sighed. "Oh, jeez. Well, fine. See, when I came to pick up my recorder a few weeks ago, Demi and I bumped into Chad, and he thought that Demi was you. So I kinda sorta devised a cunning plan that would've worked if you hadn't come running in." She frowned unhappily at Sonny, who exclaimed, "What, so this is _my _fault?"

I went over to stand by the real Sonny and narrowed my eyes at Selena. "What plan are you talking about?"

"Well," Demi said, coming up to stand by Selena, "Selena thought that maybe I could trick you into thinking I was Sonny, that way you'd admit that you like her."

"I don't like Sonny, wizard!" I yelled.

"Yes, you do!"

"No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do!"

"No, I don't!"

Selena suddenly raised a tiny recorder to her lips. "Enjoys pointless fighting."

"Why are you saying untrue things about me into a recorder?" I hissed.

"Guys!" Sonny cut us off. "Could someone please just continue explaining?"

Selena rolled her eyes. "When I was going to star in Chad's movie, I followed you around all day to learn about my character, remember? So I pretty much know everything about you, the way you talk, how you react to things, stuff like that. I transferred all my knowledge of you to Demi, and voila! The perfect replica. Though, honestly, Chad, she looks nothing like Sonny. What's with you?" She frowned at me.

Sonny studied Demi. "I don't see the resemblance," she announced.

I gawked at them. "Are you all insane?"

Demi laughed. "Well, it almost worked. We'll just have to settle with that, Selena. Oh, and you can have Chad all to yourself now, Sonny." Sonny's jaw dropped, and she looked like she wanted to say something, but then she just folded her arms and scoffed. Demi grinned at her, then turned to me. "You know, Chad, Selena told me you were a jerk. And you are. But you're a pretty great guy, too."

Sonny promptly began to double over in laughter.

I glared at her, then smiled at Demi. "Well, even though you still weird me out, thank you. I guess. So wait, all of that was just acting? There's no little girl I have to meet?"

Demi nodded. "Just acting."

I was relieved, to say the least. I had no desire to go meet an eight year old girl.

Selena sighed loudly. "You and Sonny are really starting to irritate me," she muttered, then grabbed ahold of Demi's arm. "C'mon, Demi, we don't want to be late."

Sonny'd finally quit laughing, and she wiped her eyes before asking Selena curiously, "Late for what?"

Selena suddenly smiled. "Oh, for Demi's show. Yeah, she has her own TV show, too. I'm guest starring this week. Yep, she stars as this really positive girl on a comedy show who falls for this snob on the rival show, though they both keep denying it. Then I come to star in the snob's movie and see that they both like each other, and I try to get them to see sense, but they're both too annoyingly stubborn."

"That sounds suspiciously familiar," Sonny noticed.

Selena grinned at me. "You know, Chad, the guy who acts as the snob actually kind of looks a bit like you."

That was low. That was really, really low. "You know, wizard, I know what you're trying to do, and it's not working. You're just making all that up," I accused.

Selena shook her head, still grinning. "You'd think so, wouldn't you? Well, let's go, Demi."

"Bye, guys! It was great meeting both of you!" Demi said, smiling and waving as she ran after Selena. And then they were both gone, and Sonny and I were the only ones in the room. I glanced at her awkwardly. "So."

"So..." Sonny fidgeted. "If you thought that was me, then... um, why were you about to kiss her?"

"Please. I wasn't trying to kiss her."

"Then what were you doing?"

"I was trying to get a better look at her face," I lied.

"Right," Sonny said, obviously not believing me.

"Stupid wizard," I mumbled.

Sonny bit her lip. "Er... so, about that dog whistle..."

"No," I said flatly, walking off, and Sonny ran after me, begging and pleading for me to give her the stupid dog whistle.

After that, everything was back to normal. Again. As far as I know, I haven't seen Demi since then. But since she and Sonny look exactly alike, I'm not really sure...

And Sonny still keeps teasing me about the whole thing. She thinks I'm crazy for assuming that Demi was her.

I'm not crazy! They're freaking twins!

Ok, whatever. The point of this whole thing is... you might not have a twin, but chances are there's someone who looks just like you somewhere in the world. Sonny's a good example. So is me. Apparently, I have _two _look-alikes! This just further proves how truly awesome I really am.

Well, keep watch for more topics, and suggestions are welcome anytime!

Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>Reviews are really appreciated, so please review! And as Chad said, suggestions are always welcome. ^^ Hope you enjoyed this piece of Chadly wisdom!<strong>

**~Ginger**


	6. Movies

**Oh my god. Before I uploaded the last chapter, I had only 28 reviews. Now I have 50 reviews! Which means in the space of just putting up one chapter, I've gotten over 20 reviews! :D That's never happened to me before! You guys are so freaking awesome, thank you so much! **

**I tried to make this a long chapter to show my thanks, but I honestly think I just kind of dragged it out a bit. I'm not too happy with it, but I couldn't bring myself to rewrite anything, since I worked a while on it. So I hope you guys enjoy it anyway. ^^ **

**Oh, and _The Bracelet_ is not a real movie, just something I randomly made up.**

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><p>Hello, my wonderful fans. I have some terrible news for you.<p>

I, Chad Dylan Cooper, did not get the lead role in that movie I mentioned earlier.

You wanna know who got the part instead? I'll tell you who got the part.

Efron.

Zac. Freakin'. Efron.

It's an OUTRAGE! He's not even that talented! And he's definitely not as amazingly good looking as I am! Can you believe this? As my loyal fans, I'm sure you can't. The nerve of those people who cast the part. They have absolutely zero taste.

Pfft. On to the topic for today.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Movies**

What can I say? Movies are amazing. I can guarantee that watching movies is one of the greatest forms of entertainment. If you have never seen a movie, or do not enjoy watching movies, I only have one thing to say to you: Are you even a freaking human being?

In my opinion, the best movie would have to be _Chad Dylan Cooper: The Chad Dylan Cooper Story_. No, I'm not saying that just because it's a movie completely devoted to telling my life story. It just happens to be a great movie.

Though there are some other pretty cool movies out there. Like Steven Spielberg movies. But then, different people have different opinions, right?

Though a hint to all of you people reading right now: Any movie that includes Zac Efron SUCKS. I swear, I'm not even lying. Don't watch anything with that loser in it, because I promise you, it will be terrible. Your eyes will probably bleed from too much exposure to lack of talent.

I'm just saying.

Anyway, movies are fantastic. With the exception of Zac Efron movies and a bunch of other movies I can't really remember right now.

Now wasn't that a great lesson for today?

I guess now you want to hear a story. Sigh. Well, I guess I'll enjoy telling part of this one, hehe.

So one bright morning, I was heading out from... well, from a very important meeting, let's just call it, and as I made my way to the Mackenzie Falls set, I happened to bump into Sonny. Honestly, I'm starting to think that she's stalking me, and that she's bumping into me on purpose. Knowing her, I wouldn't be surprised.

"Watch where you're going!" I snapped, which was basically my way of saying 'hello'.

"Make me!" she retorted, which was her way of saying 'hi!' back.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

With our greetings and daily fight all done for that day, I walked past her, ready to relax in the privacy of my dressing room. But Sonny called after me, "Wait, Chad! Can I, er, I ask you something?"

Normally I would ignore her and keep on walking, maybe let her chase after me for a bit before I gave in to what she wanted. This time, though, something in her voice made me automatically turn around without a second's thought. "What's wrong, Munroe?"

She expression was a cross between nervousness and embarassment. "Well, I just need to ask you a tiny favor."

"Please don't tell me you want to go on _another _fake date," I groaned.

"No, of course not," she said quickly. "I was just wondering if you could possibly, um, maybe come over to my apartment today?"

I immediately became suspicious. Can you blame me? "Why?"

"Pfft. Why does there have to be a reason why?" She patted my arm in what I guess she thought was a friendly way, a huge smile on her face. "Can't I have the... the greatest actor of our generation at my apartment for no reason at all?" she went on. It sounded like she was choking on the words 'greatest actor of our generation'.

I stared at her. "I'm pretty sure the answer to that question is no."

Her smile evaporated. "Can't you please just go along with it and not ask any questions?"

"I don't think so," I replied evenly. "So what's up?"

She sighed, looking resigned. "Well, Grady and Nico were watching a horror movie in the Prop House, and they were freaking out. So I said that it wasn't that scary and that they were acting like babies."

I feigned a shocked look and gasped dramatically. "Such language, Sonny! I never would have thought you'd speak that way!"

The evil eye she gave me was actually kind of scary, so I shut up, and she went on. "Then everyone started ganging up on me and group rumbling about how I'd never be able to watch a scary movie without running away screaming, and I told them that I so could. They bet I was just bluffing, so I said I'd take them on that bet and prove I could watch a scary movie. So, um, long story short is that I have to watch a scary movie today." She blinked up at me.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Why don't you just not watch a scary movie and tell them that you did anyway? Those idiots won't know the difference."

"They aren't idiots. And I don't want to risk it. Zora'll find out somehow." Her eyes shifted around the hallway, as though she suddenly expected Weird Girl to pop out swinging an axe or something. This time I did roll my eyes. "Ok. So why do I have to be included in this?"

Sonny shrugged. "They never said I had to watch the movie by myself. I mean, I know I'm not gonna get scared," she added quickly when she saw the smirk that had appeared on my face. "But, you know, it's just a... safety precaution."

"Sure it is. But why me?"

She looked a bit unsure for a moment, but then she snorted. "You seemed like the better option compared to the other person I was thinking of asking."

I waited for more of an explanation, but she didn't provide any more details. So I just shrugged and started to turn away. "Sorry, Munroe, but I've got a very busy schedule. There's no time for me to watch some horror movie with you."

Her head suddenly snapped up, and she was glaring at me again. "Chad, you're such a liar! You have absolutely nothing planned today."

I frowned. "How would you know that?" Then I stared at her in horror. "Did you sneak into my dressing room and look at my schedule?"

"Maybe. Oh, come on, Chad, pleaseeee! When have I ever asked you for anything?" She batted her eyelashes at me. Naturally, I nearly fell for the power of her cuteness and almost gave in at that moment. But I managed to keep my head and stay strong.

I responded by counting on my fingers. "Let's see... well, there was that one time when you asked me to fake date you... then when you asked me to give you basketball tickets, which I regretted... then when you asked me not to kick you out of my birthday party... then when you asked me to - "

"Ok, so I've asked you for a lot of things," she sighed. "Look, Chad, if you do this for me, I'll do anything you want. Just _pleaseeeee!_" Again she looked up at me with her big brown eyes.

After a moment of just staring at those twin pools of chocolate, her words suddenly registered in my mind. I perked up. "Anything?"

She started to nod and say yes, then her eyes widened slightly and she backed away. "Though don't get any ideas, Cooper. I'm not about to start taking my clothes off for you or anything," she babbled. "That's just wrong and sick, so don't you even - "

"Woah! Slow down, Sonny!" I held up my hands, trying to get her to quit yapping. "I never asked you to take your clothes off, and I wasn't going to." And it's true, I never would have.

Though the idea of Munroe without clothes on is really appealing...

Huh.

WHAT THE HELL. WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT THIS?

I apologize, my adoring fans. I had a brief lapse of concentration, not to mention common sense. Let's get back to the story so I can get that image out of my mind. Ugh.

"Oh," Sonny said lamely once she'd realized what I'd said.

"No, but I do want you to do something else," I said, smirking.

Minutes later, we were standing in the cafeteria. Along our way there, I'd filled Sonny in on exactly what I'd wanted her to do. And now we stood by one of the tables, as Sonny stared in a horrified manner at the amount of people in the cafeteria. I just grinned at her.

"No way," she finally said.

My grin widened. "Oh, yes."

"I won't do it."

"You will if you want me to watch the scary movie with you," I taunted. I knew Sonny, and she was going to end up going through with this, no matter how much she didn't want to. And I was going to enjoy every second of her unhappiness. Oh, yes.

She glared at me, then took a deep breath and said in a voice you could barely hear above the din of all the people, "Could I please have everyone's attention?"

"Louder, so they can hear you," I told her, amused.

"I hate you, Chad."

"Really?" I asked, grinning some more. "You're sending me some mixed signals here, Munroe."

Without answering me, she stormed off, hopped onto one of the tables (she really loves jumping on those tables, apparently), and cupped her hands around her mouth. "Hello! Everyone!"

Heads turned to stare at her, and the noise died down a bit.

With one last glare at me, she faced the crowd of people and said in a completely emotionless voice, "Hi. I'm Sonny Munroe, and I'm madly in love with Chad Dylan Cooper." It didn't take very long for people to start to chuckle, probably because of how she sounded as though she were anything but madly in love with me. I didn't even bother trying to wipe away the smile that popped onto my face as I listened to her.

Sonny continued to rattle off the list of things I'd told her to say in the same dull tone, completely devoid of any emotion. "I think he's the most amazing human being that ever walked the planet. I dream about him every night. His eyes shine brighter than any star, and he's so hot that I get sunburned when I walk by him."

Someone in the crowd of people wolf whistled, and the laughter swelled.

"It's true. Go tell your friends and family. Go post it on your blogs. Let the whole world know," she continued in the same bored tone, then made an overdramatic curtsy on the tabletop. "Thank you." Then she hopped off the table amidst the applause of pretty much everyone in the cafeteria, including the lunch lady. Flouncing by me, she gave me a sweet smile and asked, "How'd I do, my love?"

I winked at her. "I'll tell you when I get to your apartment tonight."

I walked away, but not before I saw the ginormous smile that appeared on her face. The combination of the humiliation I'd just put her through (because I could tell she was humilated, even though she did a good job of not showing it) and that one big smile nearly made my day. Almost, but not quite, because there was still more of my day left to be made. If that even makes any sense at all.

That night, I arrived at Sonny's apartment and took the elevator up to her and her mother's room. Once I'd gotten there, I knocked on the door. Well, if you can even call it knocking. I'd barely even touched my knuckles to the door when it suddenly swung open to reveal Sonny. She was dressed in some purple pajamas, clutching a teddy bear, and looked a bit nervous. "Hi, Chad." She stepped back to let me walk in.

I smiled at her. "Hey, Sonny." Then I called out loudly, "Hello, Ms. Munroe!" You know, just in case Sonny's mom was hiding somewhere.

"She's not here," Sonny informed me. I shrugged. "No harm in trying."

I plopped down on the sofa in front of the TV, while Sonny ran into the kitchen to get the popcorn. While she was in there, I looked around to see if anything had changed since I'd last been there. I'm not even going to attempt to describe her apartment room, because that's virtually impossible. It's not that it's really fancy or anything. In fact, it's not that fancy at all, not by my standards, anyway.

But I guess it's cozy. In a weird way.

Sonny strolled calmly back into the living room, carrying a big bowl of popcorn in her arms. She set it on the table in front of us, then switched the TV on and placed the DVD inside the DVD player. Then she settled down on the couch next to me and used the remote to skip through the commercials.

"So what movie are we going to watch?" I asked after a few moments of silence.

She picked up a DVD case on the table. "Well, Nico and Grady suggested some movies, and this one sounded the least harmless. So I went out and rented it today." She actually sounded proud of herself for picking out a not-so-scary movie.

I took the DVD case from her, looked at it, and immediately started to crack up. She stared at me indignantly. "What?"

"This is _The Bracelet_," I said, waving the case in front of her. She narrowed her eyes at me. "I can read, Chad."

I shook my head. "Sonny, this is one of the scariest movies of all time! Why'd you rent this?"

She snatched the case from me and stared at the cover, which featured a picture of, you guessed it, a bracelet. "You've got to be kidding me. But Chad, it's just about a bracelet! What's so scary about that?" She scoffed and tossed the case aside just as the main menu came up.

I smirked. "You're so naive, Sonny. Just because it's called _The Bracelet _doesn't mean it's about a bracelet."

"Then why's there a picture of a bracelet on the cover?"

"Because that's what the title's called."

"But you just said the title didn't mean anything!"

"Wha - I never said that!"

"Yes, you did!"

"Stop trying to confuse me!"

"I'm not!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

We both settled back into sullen silence as Sonny clicked the play button, then she grabbed the bowl of popcorn and started to eat. "See, it's not that scary," she muttered.

"That's because it hasn't started yet."

"Shut up."

Sonny's positive attitude about how the movie wouldn't be the least bit scary continued for about fifteen more minutes into the film. But after the first fifteen minutes, that's when the killing and gore came into play, not to mention the freaky music and the scary little girl (who slightly resembled Dakota Condor, which was even scarier) that kept chopping off people's heads. After a while, Sonny stopped talking about how completely not scary it was and just stayed silent, her eyes riveted to the screen.

Me? Oh, I was doing fine. It wasn't the scariest movie of all time for nothing, and I was pretty sure I might have a couple of nightmares later on. But hey, I'm a guy. I can handle anything.

Usually.

But really, I was feeling fine.

After a while, I got kind of worried about Sonny's lack of babbling, so I turned to look at her. "Hey, Sonny, you ok?"

Her wide eyes were glued to the screen, but not because she was interested in the movie. No, I think it was more like she couldn't tear her gaze away. I mean, her expression was absolutely terrified. She'd shoved away the popcorn, and she was clinging to her teddy bear for dear life. "I'm fine," she managed to squeak.

Yeah. Sure.

"Are you sure?"

No reply.

I glanced at the screen. Now the scary little girl was standing over a bloody, mutilated body and smiling calmly at the screen, as if going on a murdering spree was something she did every day. I turned back to Sonny. "Do you want me to turn it off?"

"No," she said in a high pitched voice. "I'm gonna win this bet if it - if it kills me." Her face turned really white when she said that.

I suddenly had a strong desire to go on a murdering spree muself after the producers of _The Bracelet. _How could they not have realized that a perfectly innocent girl like Sonny Munroe would've come along, thought the movie was harmless, and be scarred for life after watching it? How could they not have taken that into consideration? Probably because they were too stupid for the thought to even occur to them.

I was just thinking this when all of a sudden Sonny's already white face turned even more ashen, and then she screamed, squeezed her eyes shut, and shrank back against the couch.

Instinctively, I reached over and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her towards me and hugging her towards my body. Yes, I'm assuming I was completely delirious when I did that. The scary movie had probably messed with my head or something. But at the time the only thing that mattered was the screaming girl sitting next to me. So I tried to calm her down by hugging her and telling her in a soothing voice that it was just a movie and that it wasn't real, and that Dakota Condor wasn't going to come and chop her head off.

I honestly have no idea if she understood what I was saying, but I guess hearing my amazing voice was enough, because eventually she relaxed, and she stopped screaming, too. Oh, and she even hugged me back and buried her head into my sleeve. Bonus.

I glanced down at her mane of brown hair and asked, "You ok now?"

"Mmmph."

"Should I take that as a yes?"

"Mmph."

"Ok, then."

Eventually I figured that she wouldn't notice if I turned the TV off. I was wrong. The minute I picked up the remote off the table, her head snapped up, and she looked at me in alarm. "Don't turn it off."

"Don't tell me what to do," I retorted. "I'm turning it off, Munroe. Scary movies are not good for you."

"But I have to watch it!"

"You just did."

"No, I mean, I have to watch it all the way to the end!"

I said sternly, "Sonny, the Randoms just bet you to watch a scary movie. They never said you had to watch the entire thing." Another important lesson, kids: Pretty much everything has a loophole.

"But I want to know what happens," she protested weakly as I switched the TV off. I rolled my eyes. "More people die bloody and horrible deaths. That's it. You're not missing anything, Munroe. It might be the scariest movie of all time, but it's the worst plotwise."

Her protests eventually died down, and we just sat quietly on the couch, still kind of holding each other. I couldn't resist fiddling with her hair a bit, since it was just there and was tempting me to touch it with its softness. I know that sounds really weird, but it's actually true. And her hair is really soft.

"Chad?" she finally said.

"I'm not turning it back on."

"That's not what I was gonna say."

"Oh. Then carry on."

"Well... that was a really scary movie."

I smirked down at her. "I told you. You should listen to me more often, Munroe."

She smiled. "Uh huh. Though, you know, I'm really glad you were here."

"My presence always brings people joy."

"You know that's not what I meant."

I grinned at her. "Oh, I know." She smiled back at me and put her head back on my shoulder again.

I'd really love to say that we just sat there like that for the rest of the night. But eventually Sonny realized what we were doing, got flustered, and promptly kicked me out of her apartment. But not before I made her promise that she wouldn't watch the rest of that movie. And then we parted ways, and the next day Sonny arrived at the studio, looking as happy as usual. She told me that she'd returned the movie back to where it came from, and that she'd blocked out everything she'd seen in the movie from her mind. And that she'd won the bet.

She hasn't mentioned anything about that day since, which is fine with me. I don't really want to remember it. In fact, after I'm done writing about it here, I'm erasing the whole experience from my mind. Yep.

My hands are tired from all this typing. There's probably more I could say, but it's not important, so I'm going to end this now.

In conclusion, never watch the scariest movies of all time by yourself, because it's just going to do more harm then good.

Chad Dylan Cooper out. Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>I absolutely despise horror movies, so I can really empathize with Sonny on this. xD<strong>

**Well, I hope you guys liked it. ^^ The next chapter should be better, though.**

** Thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated. c:**

**~Ginger**


	7. Cinnamon Rolls

**Hey, guys! First off, thanks to everyone who reviewed for the last chapter. c: I can't believe this story's already up to 63 reviews. Woo!**

**So here's a new chapter for you guys. :) When I started out this chapter, I had absolutely no idea what I was going to write or what the plot was going to be or anything. Then I just went with the flow and let my fingers do the work, and I got this. :D I really had fun writing this one, so I hope you guys like it!**

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><p>Hey, peeps, CDC here!<p>

There's absolutely nothing important I need to tell you right now, so I'm just going to skip ahead to the topic.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Cinnamon Rolls**

Cinnamon rolls are the most amazing thing ever. Besides yours truly, of course. And loganberry smoothies. You can't beat those.

But cinnamon rolls are just delicious. You ever tasted one? If you haven't, then go eat one right _now_. 'Cause that stuff is good.

They're best eaten when warm. Then it's so wonderful and sweet, and it makes you feel equally warm and gooey inside. Mmm.

Cinnamon rolls are basically food for the gods. Or godly people, like me.

That's it. What more can I say? If there's anything else you still want to know, then just eat one and all your questions shall be answered. I'm being serious here.

Now it's storytime. Oh, joy.

This one took place a few months ago, just a few days after I was forced to guest star on So Random. ( Mr. Condor threatened to fire me if I didn't, so you see, I had absolutely no choice in the matter)

All right, so has anyone ever seen Hoosier Girl? It's another one of the shows that films in Condor Studios. I, personally, have never seen it before, because I have no interest in a show about country bumpkins on a farm. Anyway, I happened to run into the girl who plays the lead role on the show, Nicole Somethingorwhatever, and let me tell you, she's HOT. I don't know how I never noticed that before.

Anyway, I asked her out. And she said yes. Great, huh? You'd think so.

Soon after I'd asked out Nicole, I made my way to go see Sonny and rub it in her face about my date. I had a feeling that that would really strike a nerve there, hehe.

So I was walking past her dressing room when I heard Blondie's voice yelling from inside. Curious, I opened the door and poked my head inside. "Knock, knock, Randoms."

Blondie, or Tawni, was suddenly in my face and glaring at me. "Get out of my dressing room!"

"It's _our_ dressing room!" came another voice from the other side of the room.

"I was on this show first, so it's _my _dressing room!" Tawni yelled, slamming the door in my face. I could still hear what she was saying, though. "So stop trashing it with those ugly things you call clothes!"

Well, now I had to know what was going on. So I pushed open the door and entered the room.

There were clothes _everywhere_. Little mountains of clothing were scattered randomly around the room, and I seriously couldn't even see any part of the carpet underneath all the clothes. Tawni was attempting to kick all the clothes back in the closet. She was failing, though, since someone kept throwing the clothes back out. Guess who that someone was? Ah, you don't even need to guess, it's so obvious.

"I thought I told you to leave!" Tawni said, narrowing her eyes at me.

"And since when do I listen to you?" I said, rolling my eyes. Then I looked down at the clothes I was stepping in. "What the heck? Did you guys rob a clothing store or something?"

Tawni picked up some pants, held it far away from her face, and shuddered. "Ugh, polyester." She threw the pants off to the side, then stalked off to go sit in the chair by her makeup table. "Ask her!" she said, pointing in the direction of the closet. Then she turned to stare at her reflection and pretty much ignored me.

I decided to take her advice for once and walked over to Sonny, who was still tossing clothes out of the closet. A shirt hit me in the face, along with a skirt and a crumpled up dress. Once I'd managed to brave my way through the storm of clothing, I asked, "Sonny, what're you doing?" Then, after a high heel whizzed past me, I grabbed a nearby pillow and held it in front of my face for protection. I did not want my eyes to get poked out, thank you very much.

Instead of answering me, Sonny groaned, "Urgh, this is hopeless! I have nothing to wear!"

"You're kidding me, right?" I asked in disbelief.

Sonny stood and turned around, tossing her hair to the side as she did so. "Chad, if you've just come to make fun of me about something, then I really don't have time. I'm getting ready."

I lowered the pillow from my face. "For what?" I asked.

She turned her back to me again and started to sift through the few remaining clothes that were still on their hangers. "For my date."

Immediately, I felt a combination of annoyance, surprise, and rage. "Date? What do you mean by date?"

She faced me again and smiled. "Date. It's when you go out with someone, usually at a restaurant or to the movies. Got it now? Or would you like me to explain it further?"

I frowned. "Haha. Very funny. I know what it means. Though let me see if I understood you correctly. Someone actually wants to go out with _you _on a date? Either you're lying or this person is incredibly stupid."

Sonny raised her eyebrow at me and smiled slyly. "Sounds like someone's jealous."

Yeah, right. "Psh. Oh, please. That'll never happen." I smirked at her, suddenly remembering what I'd come for. "Besides, I haven't got any reason to be jealous. Because for your information, I have a date, too."

I felt a flash of triumph when Sonny's smile disappeared. "What?"

"You heard me," I taunted. When she just stared at me wide-eyed, I couldn't resist adding, "Now who's the jealous one?"

She seemed to regain her composure when I said that and rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot."

"Just admit it, Sonny, you're jealous."

"You wish."

"Well, I bet my date is better than yours!" I told her. "She's charming, sexy, and flawless."

Sonny scoffed and placed her hands on her hips. "Oh, yeah? My date is sweet, sensitive, and thoughtful! Beat that!"

"So, in other words, your date is a fish."

"What's that supposed to mean!"

"Both of you, be quiet!" Tawni snapped from across the room. "I'm looking at my reflection! It's bad enough that my dressing room looks ugly, but I don't need you two ruining my Tawnitime, too!"

I shook my head, then glared at Sonny. "Yeah, well, good luck finding clothes for your stupid date!" I yelled at her.

"Thank you! I think!" she yelled back angrily. Then suddenly she grinned. "Hey, Tawni, do you think maybe I could - ?"

"You touch my clothes, you die," Tawni said curtly.

I rolled my eyes, then stalked out of the room, but not before I heard Tawni tell Sonny, "Oh, and honey, you made this mess, so you have to clean it."

That made me grin. Served Munroe right.

Let's fast forward a bit to that night at 7:00 P.M., when I drove to a local restaurant to go meet Nicole. I'd suggested that I pick her up in my sweet convertible, but apparently she has this thing against riding with people she barely knows. I guess I understand what she means, what with all the wackos out there, but she should've known that I would never try anything on her. That's not how the Chad rolls.

But whatever.

So I arrived at the restaurant fashionably late and went inside. Oh, and I can't really say what the restaurant name was, since it's exclusive for celebrities (and rich people, on occasion) only. We're the only ones that know about it. And if I went and blabbed the name out all over the internet, then some wise guys who aren't famous might get ideas and... no, I'm not even gonna go there.

The point is, it's secret.

But I will say this: The Restaurant (I'm just going to resort to calling it that now, since I can't tell you its real name) makes the absolute best cinnamon rolls. While all cinnamon rolls are delicious, these cinnamon rolls are absolutely heavenly. The cinnamon rolls they make at The Restaurant are pretty much the whole reason why The Restaurant is as successful as it is. And why only celebrities can go inside.

Hah! In your face, suckas!

No offense meant, of course.

So I entered and talked to the dude at the door, who showed me to the table I'd reserved for our date. Nicole was already there, waiting for me. She raised an eyebrow as I sat beside her. "You're late," she pointed out.

I shrugged. "Only by fifteen minutes. Oh, menus, please," I added to a waiter passing by, who nodded and rushed off. Then I smiled at Nicole. If you want to know what she looks like, then go look at a promo poster for her show. Or if you're too lazy to do that, then fine, I'll tell you. She's got straight light brown hair, and her eyes are either green or hazel. I'm not really sure. Oh, and she's very nicely tanned. And curvy. Yes, she was an ideal girl.

"So how's it going?" I asked her as the waiter dude came back with the menus. Nicole looked down at her menu as she responded, "Oh, I'm doing good. By the way, Chad, I can't believe you managed to get us reservations here. Well, in a way, I can, but still, it's pretty darn amazing, too. I mean, this is a..." And blah blah blah. She went on talking, but I'd quit listening. Why had I quit listening, do you ask?

One reason is that I have a short attention span when it comes to girl talk.

The main reason is that at that moment I happened to spot some guy sitting at the table next to us, laughing loudly at something the person he was with had said. I glared at the guy, willing him to be quieter or, better yet, to shut up. Then the girl sitting by him happened to toss her hair and laugh, too. I recognized her immediately.

It was _her._

And by _her _I mean Sonny Munroe.

She always finds some way to ruin my day, whether it be intentional or not. Just my luck, huh?

"Chad?" I blinked and focused back on Nicole, who was giving me a confused look. "You ok? You just kind of spaced out for a second there."

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," I assured her, nodding. I glanced over at the other table and glowered at the guy, who had just put his arm around Sonny's shoulder. "Hey, would you excuse me for a second? If the waiter comes by, just tell him that I want roast beef. And Pepsi."

Without waiting for her to respond, I got out of my seat and circled around to the other table. I'm not really sure why I didn't just continue my date and pretend that Sonny wasn't there. For some reason I just had to make my presence known. I guess.

"Well, hello, there," I said, resting my hands on their table and smiling. Sonny, who'd apparently been telling the guy a joke, because he was laughing, whipped her head around when I spoke and stared at me in shock. I couldn't help but notice that the yellow dress she'd finally decided on looked incredibly good on her.

"Fancy seeing you here, Sonny," I continued.

Disbelief replaced the shock in her expression, and then irritation. "Chad," she greeted me curtly.

"Hey, you're Chad Dylan Cooper," the guy sitting next to her said suddenly, and he grinned at me. "I'm Jacob. I work on Tween Gladiators. Your show's awesome, man. I watch it every chance I get."

I felt a bit more warmth towards the dude. But only a tiny bit. At the same time, I still felt a strong dislike towards him. "Well, who doesn't?" I replied simply, then looked down at Sonny, who was sending me the look of death. Ignoring the fact that she was trying to kill me with her eyes, I said, "Can I talk to you?"

"No. I'm on _a date_, if you hadn't noticed," she informed me in an overly sweet voice.

"Oh, I don't mind," Jacob said, smiling pleasantly.

Sonny stared at him. "What?"

I smirked. "You heard him, Sonny, he's cool with it."

Sonny shot me another grumpy look. "Fine." She stood up and walked off with her head held high. I gave the Jacob guy a quick salute before following her. She stopped by the door to the kitchen and whirled around to face me, her angry face on. "What are you doing here, Chad? Are you seriously trying to ruin my date?"

"I could ask you the same question!" I said, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Are you insane? I'm here to enjoy myself and have a nice night. I could care less about your date, Chad," she said, folding her arms.

"I don't believe you," I sneered. "And what makes you think I'd try to ruin your night?"

"Oh, I dunno, maybe because you just dragged me away from my date!"

"I didn't drag you! And I don't care about your dumb date, either," I added defensively.

"I don't believe you," she said frostily.

I stepped closer to her, clenching my fists at my side. "So you think you can just come here and try to mess up my night, huh? Well, you thought wrong, Munroe, because I'm going to have a great time tonight!"

She scoffed. "Please! I'm going to have a way better time than you ever could!"

"Oh, it's on!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"So we're good?"

"Oh, we're so good!"

She stalked back off to her date in a huff, and I summoned up all my acting skills to hide my own anger. Then I returned to Nicole, who was already tucking into her meal. Yes, while I'd been gone, our dinner had arrived, along with the delicious, complimentary cinnamon rolls that came in a basket with it. She stared at me. "Where'd you go?"

"Bathroom," I said quickly, then picked up my knife and proceeded to cut up my roast beef into tiny pieces, imagining that it was Sonny I was cutting up. Seriously, what was with her? I'm still absolutely convinced that she came to The Restaurant just to irritate me. Well, it worked. But I was definitely not going to let her get away with it. Oh, no. You know why? Because I'm Chad Dylan Cooper, that's why!

I glanced over at the other table, where Sonny was laughing loudly at something Jacob had probably said. I frowned. Oh, I would show that little diva.

I put my arm around Nicole and smiled at her. "So, you enjoying your night so far?"

She gave me an odd look. "Um. I guess?"

I shook my head fondly. "The way you say that is so cute." I tapped her nose with my finger and laughed. Nicole raised her eyebrows and laughed, too, though her laughter sounded a bit confused.

I chanced a glance at Sonny. She was staring at our table. Her gaze met mine, and she narrowed her eyes at me. I smirked at her, just to show her how much I was enjoying myself.

In response, she wrapped her arms around Jacob's neck in a hug and said loudly enough for me to hear, "Aww, how sweet of you! You are such a great guy, Jacob." She gave me a smug look over his shoulder.

I silently fumed at her. Oh, yeah? She didn't know who she was messing with. I looked over at my date. "You know, Nicole," I said loudly. "I'm having an amazing time, and it's all because I'm here with the most amazing girl I've ever known."

Even not looking at her, I could feel Sonny's eyes burning holes in the back of my neck. Not literally, of course. _Success! _I thought.

"I'm flattered, Chad, but we've only known each other for a couple of hours," Nicole said, looking bewildered. I almost felt sorry for her. Almost, but not quite. First I had to rub it in Sonny's face about how fantastic my date was so far. I could always feel sorry for people later on.

"Even so, I feel like this was meant to be," I said, smiling. "Don't you feel it, too?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

I was about to answer her, but got distracted when I saw Sonny leaning on Jacob's shoulder, giggling and saying things like, "Awh, you're so cute, what nice muscles you have, blahblahblah." I don't remember exactly what she said, but it was something like that. That's when I snapped.

I threw my napkin down, stood up, and glared at her. "Look, would you two get a room? I'm trying to enjoy my date here!"

It was amazing how quickly the chatter of the various celebrities and rich peeps died down, and how suddenly everyone was staring at us. Even the waiters. At that moment, though, I barely noticed.

Sonny laughed, even though there was absolutely nothing funny about the situation, and stood up, too. "I could say the exact same thing to you, Cooper. Besides, I thought you _were _enjoying yourself."

I smiled back at her, though my words were laced with venom. "Well, I was, until you started talking in that obnoxiously loud voice of yours. I don't know what that guy could possibly see in you."

Amidst the 'ooh's of the crowd, Sonny frowned. For a second, she looked hurt, and I almost wanted to take back what I'd just said. But then her eyes narrowed again. "Well, maybe he sees that I actually have a _heart_, which is something that you, Chad, lack."

More 'ooh's from the crowd. I swear I saw Rihanna bob her head and say, "Mmhhm, you tell him, girl."

Oh, she'd done it now. Ignoring Nicole's pleas for me to stop it, I shot back, "Yeah, well, at least I'm not annoying and talentless!"

"At least I'm not egotistical and completely full of myself!" she retorted.

I opened my mouth to yell something back, then saw the cinnamon rolls just sitting in the basket. I picked one up and waved it in the air. "You see this, Sonny? This is you."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm a cinnamon roll?"

"Yes! You're just like a cinnamon roll! Like you, cinnamon rolls are... are disgustingly sweet and just nauseating to be around. And I hate them!" Ok, so that was a blatant lie, seeing as I love cinnamon rolls. But still, it was the only thing I could come up with.

There were gasps from the crowd. The hurt look had reappeared on Sonny's face, but then it went away and she just looked pissed. "Really? Well..." She looked down, then held up a plate of some kind of dessert thing that I've never seen before in my life. "You are just like this fancy schmancy dessert that has a name I can't pronounce! Yeah, because like you, Chad, this... thing looks incredibly good on the menu. But then you actually get a taste of it, and it's sour and just plain terrible, not to mention fake!" she spat. Now how food could taste fake, I don't know, but I guess it didn't matter, seeing as this was all directed at me. "And for the record, I hate them, too!"

More gasps came from the bystanders, along with a yell of "Ooh, burn!" from some girl and an exclamation of, "Are you two just going to insult the food all day?" from some random idiot.

I was going to say something more, but then Nicole stood up and said, "Chad, what is your problem?"

"What's my problem?" I asked in bewilderment. "My problem is that _she _was trying to ruin our date!" I pointed to Sonny.

"Ruin our date? How exactly was she trying to do that?" she asked.

I opened my mouth to answer her, but then realized she probably wouldn't understand even if I told her. I barely understand myself, to be honest. Therefore I couldn't say anything.

"Exactly," Nicole said, nodding. "You don't even know yourself." She sighed. "You should go apologize, Chad. What you told her was mean."

"What? But she was being mean, too!" I whined. I was aware that I sounded like a freaking five year old, but I didn't really care at the time.

Nicole gave me a stern look, and I rolled my eyes before turning and walking over to the other table, where Sonny was having some sort of discussion with Jacob. Nicole followed behind me, probably to make sure I apologized.

"Sonny," I said stiffly. "I'm sorry for comparing you to a cinnamon roll."

She looked up at me, and her frown told me that I obviously wasn't forgiven. "I'm sorry for just telling you the truth," she said coldly.

I was about to make a sharp retort, but Nicole poked me in the side as a warning, I guess, so I kept my mouth shut and resorted to just glaring at her.

"See, was that so hard?" Jacob asked, smiling. "Now we can all be friends again."

Friends? Wow. Tween Gladiator people may be good looking, but they're pretty dumb.

That's when Nicole sort of shoved me aside to stare at the guy sitting next to Sonny. "Jacob?" she asked, sounding surprised.

Jacob looked at her, and his eyes widened. "Nicole? Wow, I didn't expect to see you here!"

"Me, either!" Nicole said.

I stared back and forth from both of them with absolutely no idea what was happening. Then Sonny cleared her throat and asked, "Um, wait, you guys know each other?"

"Yeah, we used to go out," Nicole said enthusiastically. "Wow, Jacob it's been ages! What've you been up to? Have you been working out?" Then she plopped onto the seat beside Jacob, and the two began chatting as though they were old buddies. Which I guess they were, in a way.

I stared at them. After a moment, Sonny came around to stand by me and mumbled, "Are you starting to feel a little third-wheelish?"

"Maybe," I said back, eyeing her.

She sighed. "We should give them some time alone, Chad. We kind of owe it to them, after what we put them through tonight." She walked over to my table and sat down on the seat. I slid in beside her and asked, "What're you talking about?"

She gestured with one hand to where Jacob and Nicole were sitting. "We've basically just been using them the whole night to prove to each other that we have better dates. So it's the least we can do to actually let them enjoy themselves." She sighed and closed her eyes. "I feel terrible about this."

"You should. You're the one that ruined everything," I informed her.

She shot me a look. "Are you seriously still saying that? We both have equal blame for this, ok?"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

She didn't reply with the usual 'Fine', so I glanced at her to see if something was wrong. She was turned away from me, so I couldn't see her face, but I had a feeling she was still upset with me. If you must know, I didn't really like the idea of her being upset with me.

So I sighed and said, "I lied."

She looked at me. "Huh?"

I avoided her gaze and stared instead at the basket of cinnamon rolls on the table. "I actually really like cinnamon rolls."

There was a short pause. Then she asked, "Really?"

I looked over at her. She was actually smiling, and I figured that all was forgiven, for the most part. So I relaxed and smiled back. "Really." Her smile widened a bit, which probably means she knew I wasn't just talking about cinnamon rolls.

"Thanks, Chad," she said. "And I actually really do hate that dessert thing I ate awhile ago, because it's seriously gross."

"Hey!" I said, pretending to be offended.

She laughed. "But I like you, too, Chad. Sometimes. When you're not getting on my nerves." She lightly punched my shoulder playfully, and I laughed.

"We should probably go now," I pointed out. Sonny blinked. "Wouldn't our dates be mad if we left without them?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I think they'll be fine. They look like they're gonna be there for a while, anyway."

She glanced over at our dates, then nodded. "Agreed."

I grinned at her. "Let's go, cinnamon roll," I said teasingly, which earned me another light punch to the arm.

I ended up driving her back home, since now that Jacob was busy with Nicole, she had no ride. Then once I'd dropped her off, I headed back home myself.

I haven't gone out with Nicole ever since then. She may be sexy, but I don't really think I can deal with someone like her. Besides, there didn't seem to be much chemistry between us.

I told her all that, and she replied cheerfully that it was ok, because she was going out with Jacob now.

So it all worked out.

And that's about it.

The moral for this one is: You can compare both things that you like and hate to cinnamon rolls. How cool is that?

Now, just because I happened to admit once that I like Munroe (in the friend-ish way), don't think that means she's any less annoying or divalike. Because she absolutely is, and don't let anyone tell you differently.

Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>Reviews are greatly appreciated. :D Thanks for reading!<strong>

**~Ginger**


	8. Cheese

**Hey, guys! Sorry this update took so long, I was having a curious lack of inspiration. But then I bought the Sonny with a Chance game yesterday, and all my inspiration sort of poofed back while I was playing it. :D I love that game.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

><p>The great Chad Dylan Cooper has returned to bring the light of joy to your sad, boring little lives!<p>

No offense.

But I also bring some bad news. Apparently I have to attend some, er, important meeting later on this week, and I'll be gone for three days. So the bad news is that you lovely fans of mine are going to have to spend three days without my incredible wisdom! Terrible, I know. I wish I didn't have to leave for this... important shindig thing.

I know, I know, you're all upset. Feel free to burst into tears right now. I'll understand.

If only there were some way you could gain more Chadly wisdom, even while I'm gone...

Wait.

Hold on a sec, I think I have an idea.

...Nah, never mind. It's a terrible idea.

But then again...

Hmm. It could work, I suppose. You know what, I'll get back to you guys on this later. Now, on to the topic.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Cheese**

No offense to Wisconsonites like Sonny or anything, but... I'm not that crazy about cheese. To be honest, I consider cheese to be kind of gross.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have any problems with something like macoroni and cheese (even though I rarely eat it, since it's not food that real actors eat), and there are lots of food with cheese that's actually pretty good, but otherwise it's just... well, let's just say there are other things I would much rather eat.

They say the worse cheese smells, the better it tastes. Excuse me, but how can you possibly taste anything over the smell? I do not enjoy eating smelly foods.

But do you know what's even worse? Cheese from spray cans. Oh my gosh, I hate those things with a passion. I mean, there was this one time when... no. I'm not even going to describe my experience with spray can cheese, as it's way too terrifying. You wouldn't be able to handle the horror, my dear fans.

However, I will talk about something else that happened to me once, when I was forced to spend an entire day around cheese.

It all started when I happened to walk by the So Random Prop House one afternoon. We'd finished up rehearsals for Mack Falls that day, so I figured I'd take a little stroll around the studio during my break. Naturally, I went through the So Random area first. I really should stop going there so much. Their loser qualities might one day rub off on me.

So I was passing by, when all of a sudden I heard someone calling my name. I backed up a bit and looked cautiously inside the Prop House. Sonny was sitting on the couch, beaming over in my general direction. "Chad!" she repeated, waving me over. "Guess what?"

I stepped inside and squinted at her suspiciously. "If this guessing game has nothing to do with me, then I'm leaving."

"Just guess, Chad," she said, smiling.

I sighed. "Ok, then. Let's see... did you finally realize that your show is incredibly lame?"

"Nope!" she said brightly.

I tried again. "That you're doomed to always be unpopular?"

Now she looked a tiny bit annoyed. "No."

"That you'll never me as amazing as my fantastic self?"

"Look, Chad, I'll just tell you," she finally said with a shake of her head. The smile popped back on to her face. "There's going to be a cheese festival near the studio today! Yeah, there's gonna be all kinds of cheese from all over the world and - "

"I'm sorry, what?" I interrupted her. "A cheese festival? Why would there be a cheese festival in Hollywood?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. But isn't it great?" She beamed at me. "I love cheese festivals, they're so cool! Back in Wisconsin we have one every year, and there's tons of cheese samples to try and - "

I cut her off again. "Yeah, that's amazing, Sonny. Bye." I turned to go, but she grabbed my sleeve. "No, wait, I'm not finished!"

"I don't want to hear about some stupid cheese festival," I told her, annoyed. Really, she was wasting my time. Well, ok, I had all the time in the world at that particular moment, but still. I didn't want to spend my time with her talking about _cheese_.

"Well, instead of hearing about it, how about you just go see it?" she asked brightly.

I stared at her. "Excuse me?"

She fiddled with a strand of her hair. "Well, see, I really want to go to the cheese festival, but I need a ride."

I stared at her some more. "So you're asking me to drive you there? Sonny, maybe you've forgotten this, but _you have a car._ Drive yourself."

She pouted. "Awh, come on, Chad! Besides, I really wanted to go in your limo..."

At first I thought she was joking. Then I realized she wasn't. So of course I started cracking up. "My limo? Are you for real? There is no way I'm gonna let you ride in my limo, Munroe."

She gave me big puppy dog eyes. "Pretty please with cherries on top?"

"Never gonna happen, Sonny," I said, chuckling.

Next thing I knew, she'd grabbed my tie and yanked me down so that I was directly face to face with her. Our faces were so close to each other that our noses were actually touching. Yeah, touching. And then she gave me this look that I'd never seen on her face before. In fact, I'd never even considered that she knew how to look at people like that, since Sonny's always so, you know, innocent and naive.

But the look she gave me at that moment was... seductive. I know, I still can't believe it, either.

My protests about her dragging me down by my tie sort of died away. Especially when she put her other hand on my cheek and smiled in a way that would probably be a huge turn on for most guys. I, on the other hand, am not like most guys, since I'm much more awesome, so it wasn't a huge turn on for me.

...It was just a tiny one.

"Please, Chad?" she said softly. "For me?" Then she batted her eyelashes.

God, I seriously hate that girl sometimes.

Apparently I said 'ok' without even realizing it, because suddenly she released my tie, removed her hand from my cheek, and smiled her usual perky smile again. Seductive Sonny had disappeared, and Normal Sonny had returned. "Great! So we can ride in your limo?"

I'm pretty sure I nodded. But I was still a bit dazed, I think, so I don't really know.

"You promise?" she asked.

"What?" I asked, coming out of my brief hypnotic-like trance. "Um, yeah, whatever," I said, feeling frazzled.

Sonny grinned at me, then ran over to the entrance to the Prop House and yelled down the hallway, "HE SAID YES!"

Confused, I was about to ask her what the heck she was doing. I didn't have the chance, though, because that's when the screaming chimpanzees came racing into the room. And by screaming chimpanzees I mean Nico and Grady, of course.

"Whoo, yeah, we're riding in a limo!" Nico yelled, high fiving the fatso, who grinned and added, "We'll be getting our cheese hats _in style_!" Then they started whooping.

I covered my ears to block out their wacko noise and shouted, "Sonny, what's going on?"

She just gave me a smug little smile.

The weird girl ran into the room, followed shortly by Tawni, who smacked Grady and Nico to shut them up. Weird Girl was grinning. "Good job, Sonny! Maybe you aren't as dumb as I thought you were."

"Awh, thanks, Zora!" Sonny said, beaming. "I think."

Realization suddenly hit me like a bolt of lightning, and I uncovered my ears and stared at Sonny in shock. "You tricked me!"

"There's a much better term for that, Cooper. It's called acting," she said, smirking at me.

I glared at her. She thought she was so smart. Psh. "Yeah, well, your acting didn't work, ok? Because I'm not driving you, or you, or any of you to some stupid cheese festival!"

Sonny frowned. "But, Chad, you promised!"

I laughed. "Oh, Sonny. Funny, funny little Sonny. No one ever keeps their promises in Hollywood. Don't you know that by now?"

I determinedly avoided looking directly at the Sonny (see what I did there?), because her wounded expression probably would've messed with my head and made me give in to what she wanted.

Meanwhile, one of the two doofuses, Grady, barged over to me and waved a yo-yo in front of my face. "You are under my spelllll," he said in a loud, weirdly distorted sounding voice. "Take me to your limmooooo."

I knocked the yo-yo to the ground. "No, you idiot," I said disgustedly. "I'm not taking any of you to my limo! Now, if you'll excuse me..." I circled around Grady and made my way to the door, but Sonny blocked my path. I narrowed my eyes at her. "Didn't I make myself clear enough for you? I'm not taking you guys."

Sonny raised her eyebrows. "Really, Chad? Really?"

"Yes. Really," I responded dryly.

She smirked. "It's because you're scared, aren't you?"

"What? Scared of what?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Tawni said from where she was seated on the couch. "You're scared to be seen with us." She smirked at me, too.

I scoffed. "Oh, please. Chad Dylan Cooper fears nothing."

The Randoms all exchanged a look, like they knew something I didn't. I didn't like it. I probably should've seen what was coming and forced my way out of there while I still had the chance.

"I see terror in your eyes," Grady chimed in, pointing at me accusingly with his yo-yo.

"Yeah, there's fear all over your face," Nico agreed, nodding solemnly. "Look, G, I think I see him trembling with fright!"

"You're right, I see it, too!"

Retards. "You guys _are_ dumb," I said, shaking my head.

"No dumber than you, Cooper," Zora scowled.

"I'm. Not. Taking. You," I said loudly. "Got it now?"

"_Bawk bawk bawk bawk._"

The sound came from Sonny. I glared fiercely at her. "Don't you dare - "

But my words were drowned out by the loud 'bawk'ing noises as all the Randoms began to imitate chickens, moving their arms up and down like what you do in the chicken dance and doing that clucking thing that I just hate. "Stop it! Stop it, you talentless losers!" I yelled at them.

"BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK!"

"I command you to - !" I started to yell again, but I was cut off by another deafening round of bawking.

"FINE!" I exploded. "I'll take you to the stupid cheese festival, just quit your dumb bawking!"

And that is why two hours later I found myself with a cheese top hat that was way too big for me on my head, grumpily watching Sonny Munroe run around excitedly and point out all the different kinds of cheeses that I could care less about.

See, after taking them all in my limo to get to the stupid cheese festival, the Randoms had split up into groups of twos. Well, actually, they'd all tried to go through the festival together (dragging me along, of course, since apparently they thought I might take the limo and leave them stranded there. Can you believe that they didn't trust me? Like I'd do that. Psh.), but the combination of all their stupidness sort of caused them to wreck havoc wherever they went. It took a while to hit home with them, but eventually they realized that everyone around them was becoming seriously aggravated with their endless chatter. That's when they split.

So of course I was stuck with the one person I just wanted to get the heck away from.

"Chad, look at this!" Sonny squealed, bounding over to me and dragging me by my sleeve over to one of the nearby tables. I swear, there were tables all over the place, just literally covered with cheese. People were milling about, looking at T-Shirts that said "I'm Not Corny, I'm Cheesy", or trying out samples of cheese that the people behind tables were handing out. It was sort of chaotic, and I hated it.

To add insult to injury, not one person came up to me and asked me for my autograph. Not. One.

Seriously?

I really don't understand what the point of the cheese festival was in the first place. This is _HOLLYWOOD_. We specialize in the acting business, not the cheese business. Someone really needs to enlighten me on why that whole shindig ever even took place.

"Oh, wow. More cheese," I said sarcastically. "In a place full of cheese. That's amazing."

Either she didn't hear me or she just decided to ignore me. I'm guessing the latter. "It's a cheddar cheese ball! I love cheese balls! Don't you?"

"No."

"I know, they're just amazing!" Obviously she was in her own little cheesy wonderland. I sighed and started to wander away from her, hoping maybe I could melt into the crowd without her spotting me. No such luck.

She skipped after me and looped her arm through mine, smiling brightly. I stared at her. "What're you doing?"

"Walking. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"No! You know what I mean." I looked pointedly at her arm, and she laughed. "Well, I don't want you to leave me behind, Chad. Who knows, you might try and ditch me somewhere." She grinned at me to show that she was just kidding.

I forced out a laugh. "Ha. Haha. Yeah... Like I'd do that."

She smiled, then gasped and darted off toward a cardboard cutout of a slice of cheese, with a hole smack in the center of it for someone to put their face in. Sonny handed me her camera, went behind the cardboard cheese thing, and placed her head between the hole, grinning hugely. "Chad, take my picture!"

I had to laugh. Sonny Munroe's head on cheese was pretty funny. Anyway, I raised the camera and snapped a picture of her. She came over to my side, peered at the picture I'd just taken, and started to laugh, too. Have I ever mentioned she's got a nice laugh? Yeah, you'd never think someone like her would have such a nice laugh. Very misleading, I must say.

I guess she didn't see the guy creeping up behind her. Heck, I didn't see him either, I was looking at the camera.

But then suddenly Sonny was yelling, "Hey, that guy just stole my purse! Someone stop him!" And the crowd started murmuring, but no one did anything, and I saw some guy dressed like a hobo fleeing the scene.

I'm not sure how it happened, to be honest. One minute I'm just standing by Sonny, looking at a picture of her head on some cheese, and the next thing I know I'm chasing after some hobo, trying to retrieve the purse of my sworn enemy.

Crazy, right?

I managed to tail that guy all the way to one of the tents where some cheese items were being sold. I guess he thought he'd be safe there. Ha! Wrong. All he did was get caught in a dead end. I barged into the tent and bumped into Nico and Grady, who were chowing down on some cheese. They stared at me blankly. "Chad? Why're you running? Where's Sonny?"

I ignored them and made a beeline for the guy, whose tattered hobo coat I could see poking out from behind a large box of cheese. I jumped out in front of him and yelled dramatically, "Aha!"

The hobo guy promptly hit my leg with the purse. And it hurt, too.

While I was distracted by my hurting leg, the hobo tried to make a break for it. But I guess those two idiot Randoms were good for something after all, since they'd blocked the entrance. "Sorry, man, but we ain't moving from this spot until _he _explains what he's doing here," Nico said, pointing at me.

"Hey, isn't that Sonny's purse?" Grady asked, looking at what the hobo was holding in his hands.

I'd ran close enough by then to hear the hobo say, "Uhh... look, Superman!" He pointed upwards, and Nico and Grady automatically looked up eagerly. It was a trick, of course, because Hobo Dude tried to push past them and get away. But I caught up to him and grabbed him by his ratty coat collar. "Ha! You aren't running away this time!"

Hobo Dude sort of looked like he was in his mid-thirties. And he really needed a shave. And a breathmint. He looked at me pleadingly. "Hey, kid, I have a wife and two children at home, and they're hungry and - "

"Blahblahblah," I said, not believing a word of it. "Tell it to the cops."

At that the man paled and shut up.

The two doofuses wouldn't let me pass until I explained why I'd been chasing some creep (you'd think they would have figured it out by then), and then they decided to accompany me back to where Sonny was (we dragged the hobo along with us for good measure, so he could apologize for stealing the lady's purse). It took a while to find her, because she wasn't in the spot where I'd last left her. I freaked out at first, thinking maybe some other loser was in cahoots with Hobo Dude, and while Hobo Dude had lured me away, his cahooter had kidnapped Sonny to demand a ransom. I mean, that sounds like something that could happen, right?

But then I heard someone calling my name, and I turned around to see Sonny running in our direction. I immediately relaxed. Good, no kidnapping. Phew.

I handed Sonny's purse back to her. "Here you go, all in one piece. The police'll deal with this guy. Once I call them." I pulled out my cellphone as I said this, while Sonny gushed, "Thank you, Chad!"

Grady prodded hobo guy in the back. "Something you'd like to tell her?"

"...I'm sorry," Hobo Dude said reluctantly. Then he burst out, "But I had to steal, because I need money for my wife and two kids, and they're hungry and we're broke and - "

I cut him off with a sharp nudge in the elbow. "Shut up," I hissed.

But the damage had already been done. Sonny stared at the man with her big brown eyes and looked like she wanted to give him a hug. She probably would have hugged him, too, if it weren't for his smell. "Awhh, you poor people," she murmured, her expression soft and sympathetic.

"Sonny, he tried to pull that same story on me. Don't fall for it!" I warned her.

Of course, she ignored me. She dug around in her purse, then pulled out fifty bucks and handed it to the guy.

Jeez. She _is_ insane.

"I understand, and I forgive you for stealing my purse," she told the man earnestly. "Please use this money to help your family."

The man took the money, looking stunned (hell, we were all stunned), then he smiled. "Bless you, kid. You're a heck of a lot kinder than your pal over here." He jerked a finger at me, and I glared at him. "Hey!"

"Well, adios. Thanks for the money!" Hobo Dude saluted Sonny, then suddenly barged off. I yelled, "Hey, wait!" I started to run after him, but Sonny grabbed my sleeve. "Let him go," she said warmly.

And I hadn't even managed to call the police yet. Figures.

"Well, I guess we're done here," Nico said, shrugging. "Come on, G, let's go see if they have a buffet!" Then the two raced off.

The second they were gone, I whirled around to face Sonny. "What are you doing?" I yelled at her. I didn't mean to yell, but it didn't matter either way, because nobody around us really cared. "You just let that guy get away!"

"Yes," she said evenly.

"He was tricking you! He was just making all that up so you'd pity him!"

"How do you know that, Chad?" She gazed at me, and I shrugged. "Well... I don't. But it's obvious, isn't it?"

She shook her head and smiled. "Chad, maybe he really needed the money for his family, and maybe he didn't. It doesn't matter either way. I mean, he can choose to do what he likes with it. I'm just glad I got to help somebody in need." She smiled brightly.

I stared at her uncomprehendingly, not sure what kind selfless wacko would just give away fifty bucks like that. "Yeah, but - "

"I'm always gonna get more money," she cut in gently. "He needs it more than I do, I think."

I shook my head. "You're crazy," I muttered.

She laughed and did something I wasn't expecting at all. She leaned forward and lightly kissed my cheek. I think I stopped breathing from complete shock, and I just continued to stare at her blankly. She giggled. "That's for going through all that trouble to get my purse back." A huge grin popped onto her face. "Admit it, Chad, you care."

I frowned at her and regained the ability to speak. "Care? For you? Please."

"Then why'd you chase after that guy to get my purse back?"

"I felt like getting some excercise," I argued. Now it was her turn to shake her head. "Whatever, Cooper." Then she brightened. "Come on, let's go meet up with Tawni and Zora! I can't wait to tell them what happened!"

I internally groaned as she tugged me along after her.

And that is basically how the rest of my day went. We went around, looked at more cheese, bought some shirts and pins and whatnot, and then met up with all the other Randoms at this little cafe, where we all got cheesy chicken pasta that actually tasted really good. And then we all headed back to the studio in my limo, and that was it!

Thank God. This happened a while back, but I still remember how completely exhausting it was.

Let's hope there are no cheese festivals next year.

So let's review what we have learned: Cheese festivals are dumb. Hobos are not to be trusted. If you're a girl, watch your purse. And most importantly, wearing a cheese hat in public makes you look like a complete fool.

That is all for your daily dose of Chadly wisdom! Hope you guys enjoyed it and gained a ton of knowledge.

And I promise I'll try to find a way to keep this Wisdom Center going while I'm out dealing with my important business in a few days.

So peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>Reviews are greatly appreciated, along with topic suggestions, if you have any. c: Thanks for reading!<strong>


	9. Dolphins

**Hey, again! Have you missed me? xD Anyway, thank you so much to all my reviewers! I enjoyed reading every review I got. Shoutout to _XxSimplyAlicexX_ for making me grin hugely with her reviews. Thanks! **

**So here's another Chadly wisdom topic for you guys. It's a bit rushed, but hopefully you'll still like it anyway. **

**Also, last week I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2, and it was seriously awesome. I was sobbing half the time, it was so emotional. Great performance. I'm really gonna miss those Harry Potter movies. **

**And I watched Monte Carlo yesterday. That was a really cute movie, too. C:**

**Anywho, enjoy!**

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><p>The Chad has returned! And he brings along good news and bad news.<p>

The good news is, I've figured out a way to solve our little problem. You know, the one with me being gone for three days. You'll still be able to get your daily dose of Chadly wisdom.

Here's the bad news. While I'm gone, my Chadly Wisdom Center will be managed... it pains me to write this... by Sonny Munroe.

Ugh, I know. Terrible, right? But unfortunately, she was the only person I could think of at the time. And when I realized that I probably could've just asked one of my castmates, like Devon, to do this for me, it was already to late, because Sonny'd already told me she'd help out.

Though I had to bribe her. Who knew Hollywood's nice girl would have to be bribed to perform an act of kindness? Not me. Yeah, she told me she'd only take care of my Chadly Wisdom Center if I donated money to a new charity for kids or rainforests or something.

Can you believe her?

She better not destroy the good name of my wisdom center. If her stupidness causes all my hard work to go down the drain, I swear, I will be forced to do something drastic.

But really, you, my fans, are the ones who are getting the worst out of this. It'll be tough to deal with that diva, but just keep in mind that it'll only be for three days. Then your favorite celebrity will be back! And I'm not going to be leaving quite yet, anyhow.

All right, enough about this. Just thinking about it is putting me in a terrible mood.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Dolphins**

This topic was actually requested by my mother. I was just telling her about how incredibly popular my wisdom center is when she suggested that I write about dolphins. When I asked why, she said, and I quote, "Because dolphins are so cute!"

Dolphins? Cute? Really, mother? Really?

Ok, so maybe they are cute. But it's the cute things you have to watch out for.

Take Sonny, for example. Sure, she's a bit cute, but does that mean anything? Absolutely not. Her annoying, divalike, way-too-happy-to-be-sane self sort of makes the whole cuteness factor not count.

See, while dolphins look really nice and friendly, they aren't. That's just their facade. They're pure evil. _Evil_, I tell you! Trust me, I know, because I've been a victim of their evil ways before.

When I was eight, my dad took me to Aquaworld, and we went to go check out the dolphin exhibit. They were having this event where people could go out and swim with the dolphins or whatever. So I was sitting down on the edge of the little pool thing where they kept those vile creatures, reaching out to try and give one of the dolphins a friendly pat, when it freaking spat water at me through it's blowhole! And my poor little child self was so shocked that I actually fell into the water. I couldn't swim back then, so I nearly drowned, but some guy saved me.

And when they pulled me out, I swear, I saw that dolphin laughing at me. Not kidding.

They're evil. I hate them so much.

There's only one thing that is even more evil than dolphins, if that's possible, and that's the little mistress of evil herself.

You don't know who that is? I'll explain in a bit.

A few months ago, I got called to my boss, Mr. Condor's, office. It was sort of scary, to be honest. People only get called to his office when they're about to get fired. Of course, I knew he wouldn't fire me, because I'm the greatest actor of my generation. But still.

So a bit after that, I cautiously entered his office. The guy's office really reflects his personality, which is, well, pretty darn serious. I mean, it's sort of dull looking. But that wasn't much of a surprise, to be honest. I mean, if I'd walked in to find his office covered with pink flowers and rainbows painted on the walls, then I would've been really freaked out.

Anyway, I walked inside and said, "Mr. Condor? Big boss?" I shut the door behind me and walked up to the desk in the middle of the room. "You called for me?" No answer. I looked around. The room seemed completely empty. "Are you even here?"

And then from behind the desk came a sickly sweet voice that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. "Hi, Chaaaaaad."

Mr. Conder's big black chair turned around to reveal the little princess of evil herself, Dakota Condor. A.K.A., my boss's daughter. The kid's only nine years old, but everything she says goes. She's pretty much just like a dolphin herself. Cute and innocent looking on the outside, but pure evil on the inside. If she doesn't gets what she wants, she is very capable of getting Mr. Condor to cancel your show.

She's even scarier than her dad, and that's really saying something.

So suddenly, without warning, the demon child had appeared right in front of me, so I jumped back and sort of screamed. Well, not really screamed. Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't scream. I just let out a manly yell of extreme terror. That's it.

"Dakota, what're you doing here?" I asked, staring at her. "Where's your dad?"

She smiled at me. "Oh, Daddy had to go somewhere."

"But he called me to his office," I told her.

She giggled, which is one of the worst sounds I've ever heard in my life. "Silly, Chad. He didn't call you here, _I _did."

"Oh." Which meant I wasn't getting fired. So there'd actually been nothing to worry about! Well, that had been a big waste of my time. "Well, it was nice seeing you, Dakota, but I think I'm just gonna leave now..." I began to edge toward the door as I spoke, hoping she wouldn't notice.

She did. Instantly she dropped the cutesy voice and snarled at me, "Sit down!"

I quickly grabbed a chair and sat down. No need to upset the kid, if you could even call the demon child a kid.

Once I'd sat, her fake angelic smile returned, and she leaned across the desk. "Now, Chad, I need someone to take me to Aquaworld to see the penguins, but my daddy's busy. So the next best person to take me would have to be the greatest actor of his generation."

Normally I would be flattered by that last compliment, but the only thing that mattered to me at the time was the word 'Aquaworld'.

"Aquaworld?" I repeated. "You want me to take you to Aquaworld?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Well, gee, Dakota, it's nice of you to ask and all, but - "

Her smile disappeared, and her expression hardened. "I'm not asking."

"Oh," I said, realizing I had no choice in the matter. But I figured I could still try and get out of it, since Dakota apparently has "the hots" for me, as Tawni so quaintly told me when I bumped into her one day in the cafeteria. Blegh. "Look, Dakota, I'd love to take you, but the thing is, Aquaworld isn't exactly my favorite place."

She made a pouty face. "Aww." Then she yelled in my face, "Well, too bad!"

"Oh, come on, Dakota!" I begged. You know it's bad when the greatest actor of his generation has to resort to begging with a nine year old. "Can't you get someone else to take you?"

"Oh, I could," she said sweetly. "But then I'd have to get my daddy to cancel your show. That would be terrible, wouldn't it?"

I gulped. "How about I give you some Mackenzie Falls merchandise? And autographs from the whole cast?"

"Ooh, tempting! But no," she said, harshly crushing my hopes of getting out of going on a trip to Aquaworld. "And there's nothing you can say that'll change my mind," she added smugly. "A whole day with Chad Dylan Cooper is an opportunity that I just can't pass up." She smiled in a way that looked positively cruel.

I sighed. "When do you want to go?" I asked resignedly.

So twenty minutes later (Aquaworld isn't too far from the studio) I was standing inside my least favorite place in the whole world, with Dakota clinging to my arm and making goo-goo eyes at me. A hot girl who passed by snickered when she saw me. It was one of the most humiliating things I've ever been through. Just another one of the reasons why that little girl is pure evil.

"Chad, look!" the said evil girl suddenly gasped, pointing in the direction of a mini gift shop, where a guy was selling various hats that were in the shape of dolphins and whales and whatever. "I love that hat! Could you buy it for me?"

"I dunno, Dakota, I don't really - "

"Buy. It. For. Me."

"Ok, ok. Sheesh."

So I bought her a dolphin hat, which was a waste of money, if you ask me, and handed it to her. "Here's your hat, Dakota," I said, using every bit of my acting skills to sound friendly.

Dakota looked at the hat, then back up at me. "You know, I think it'd look better on you." She held out the hat. "Put on the hat, Chad," she said in a happy sounding voice.

Ew. I didn't want to wear a _dolphin _on my head. "No, thanks, I'm good," I said quickly.

She glared at me. "Wear it. NOW."

I reluctantly put the stupid hat on my head and glowered a bit before giving her a strained smile. "Happy?"

She smiled back wickedly. "Very!"

I felt like a total loser as Dakota viciously grabbed my arm and dragged me off to go see the seals. Could my day possibly get any worse?

Why, yes. Yes, it could.

When we got to the penguin exhibit later on during our time at Aquaworld, I suddenly heard a voice call out from somewhere to my left, "Oh my gosh, hi, Chad!"

Dakota elbowed me and hissed, "Did you tell that freak to follow us?"

I was going to protest about Dakota calling her a freak, since I'm the only one who gets to insult her, but I was in too bad a mood to even say anything in her defense. So I turned around and said in annoyance, "What?"

Sonny (because it was Sonny. Who else could it be?) raised an eyebrow at me. "Well, that's a nice way to say hello." Then she saw Dakota, and instantly a huge smile appeared on her face. She bent down so she was eye level with Dakota and said cheerfully, "Hey, Dakota! How's it going?"

That's the thing about Sonny: She really doesn't take a hint. For some reason unknown to me, she keeps trying to be nice to Dakota, because apparently she strongly believes that there's a bit of good somewhere in the little devil child. She should just give up. From what I've seen, Dakota's made it pretty clear that she loathes Sonny.

"It was going great until you showed up," Dakota said rudely.

Sonny blinked and looked like she wanted to say something, but I cut her off before she could even start. "What're you doing here, Sonny?"

"Oh, well, I was -" She paused and looked upwards, suddenly grinning. "Oh, wow. Nice hat, Chad. It looks really good on you." She giggled. Even though her giggle is annoying, it was definitely an improvement from Dakota's, I'll tell you that much.

"Haha. Thanks," I said sarcastically. "Don't avoid the question. Are you stalking me? Is that why you keep conveniently appearing everywhere I go? I get that you're obsessed with me, Sonny, but that's just sad." It was funny how taunting and fighting with her could always lift up my spirits. My bad mood lightened a bit, and I even managed to smirk at her.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "You wish, Cooper. Actually, I'm here because I was studying walruses for a project Ms. Bitterman has us working on." Her expression brightened. "Hey, did you know a walrus can sleep while it swims?"

"I don't care," I informed her. "Now goodbye." I turned to face Dakota and started to say, "Come on, Dakota, let's go." But then I trailed off when I realized I was talking to air, since Dakota wasn't there. "Dakota?" I looked around, then checked my leg to see if she was possibly hugging it, like she did that one time when she first met me. She wasn't. In fact, I couldn't see her anywhere. Crap. "Dakota, this isn't funny!" I yelled, still looking.

Sonny tapped me on the shoulder. "Um, Chad, I think Dakota's gone."

"No," I said sarcastically. "I didn't notice." I slapped a hand against my forehead. "Sonny, this is all your fault!"

"My fault?" she asked incredulously. "Weren't you supposed to be watching her?"

"Yes, but then you came and distracted me with your stupid walruses and your hair and now Dakota's gone so it's your fault!" I babbled, completely engulfed in panic now. I'll admit, not one of the Chad's greatest moments. But just try to put yourself in my shoes and you'll understand. "What if she was kidnapped? Oh my God, when Mr. Condor finds out he's going to fire me and hire an assassin to kill me because I lost his precious little - !"

"Chad! Calm down!" Sonny grabbed my shoulders and shook me. I stared at her, temporarily shocked into silence, and she took the opportunity to say, "Look, Dakota was just here a moment ago, so she can't have gone far. If we just search around a bit, we could find her."

I regained my ability to speak. "Wait... we? So you're gonna help me? Why?"

She shrugged. "Well, I don't want you to get fired. I'm not heartless, Chad, unlike some people I could name."

I ignored that last jab at me and grinned. "You don't want me to get fired? I knew it. You do like me, Munroe."

She glared at me. "Of course not. It's just that if you get fired, who am I going to fight with every day?"

"Good point."

So the two of us set out on a journey through Aquaworld, looking for the evil princess. We went through the other penguin exhibits, the polar bear exhibit, the whale exhibit, and even the food court. No sign of Dakota at all. None. Nada.

As we approached a nearby gift shop, I plopped myself down on a bench and buried my head in my hands. "We're never gonna find her!" I groaned.

I heard Sonny sit down next to me on the bench and say, "Chad, it's gonna be fine. Dakota will show up sooner or later. I mean, it's not like she disappeared off the earth or anything." She gently took my hand in hers and held it in what I guess she thought was a reassuring way.

I looked over at her. She was gazing at me with a worried expression on her face. Sonny, worried about _me_. I would've made fun of her for that on a normal day, but seeing what the circumstances were, I didn't mention it. "And what if I can't find her, Sonny? What then? I don't care what you say, Sonny, but it's not going to be all right. This isn't some dumb little fairytale, where everybody ends up happy no matter what." I narrowed my eyes at her and yanked my hand away. "So quit trying to make me feel better."

"Chad..." she started to say. I avoided looking directly into her eyes and said, "Look, just go away. You've messed things up enough."

She was silent for a while. Then she said, "You're not getting rid of me that easy, Cooper." Then she stood up and walked away.

...Ok. First she says I can't get rid of her, then she walks off? Wasn't she sort of contradicting herself?

I didn't have long to think about it, though. I think she was only gone for five minutes before she came back and poked me. "Chad."

I raised my head and glared at her. "Sonny. Go away."

"Chad, stop trying to get me to leave," she said, looking annoyed. "Anyway, I think I know where Dakota is."

I stared at her. "What?"

She nodded. "I asked around a bit, and I met a couple who said they'd seen a girl all dressed in pink headed over there." She pointed to something. I followed the direction of her finger, then gaped at what it was she was pointing at.

"The dolphin exhibit?" I whispered.

Sonny nodded again. "Yeah. It's the only lead we've got, and it's not much, but I have a feeling that it's Dakota they saw."

I shook my head numbly. "Sonny, I can't go in there."

"What?" She gave me an incredulous look. "Why not? Dakota's probably somewhere in there."

"That place is _evil_," I told her. "I'm not going in there. I don't care if I get fired, you can't make me go in there."

She stared at me for a long moment, then her expression hardened. "Chad Dylan Cooper, that little girl is your responsibility. I don't care what you do or don't want to do, but you are going in there to find her whether you like it or not." Then she grabbed my arm and dragged me off in the direction of the dolphin exhibit.

At first I was stunned, but then I realized what she was doing and began to struggle. "Stop it! I don't want to go in there! Let go of me, Sonny!"

Yeah... I'm going to spare you the details, because it'd take too long to tell. But somehow Sonny persuaded me to go inside that evil place. Let's just leave it at that.

So I stood inside the dreaded place from my childhood, gawking at all the people crowding around the edge of the pool. They were having that same event they'd had from the last time I'd been here. Oh, great. "Sonny, I don't want to be here," I told her pleadingly. "I hate this place."

She blinked at me. "What? Why? It's just full of cute little dolphins." She beamed as she said that.

I glared fiercely at her. "Yeah. Cute little dolphins that tried to _drown _me. Can we please go?"

"Drown you?" She looked surprised. "What're you talking about?" Then she shook her head. "You know what, save it. You can tell me afterwards when we find Dakota."

I groaned as she tugged me through the crowd. I did my best not to look at the little poolside thing, because I could hear those evil creatures making their terrible squealing noise. Maybe I was being paranoid, but I had the strangest feeling that they were watching me. Plotting to kill me. Urgh.

We called Dakota's name, but there were a lot of people here. It was pretty much impossible to find her among the huge crowd. After a while, I told Sonny, "There's no use, we'll never find her. Let's leave while we still can."

She gave me a determined look. "You give up too easily." She barged ahead through the crowd, shouting, "Excuse me, sorry, I need to get through! Oh, sorry, ma'am, I didn't mean to knock your purse in the pool, so sorry!" And blahblahblah.

Anyway, even though I just wanted to get the heck out of there, I figured I should follow her to make sure she didn't do anything stupid. At first I wasn't sure what she was doing, but then she made her way over to one of the Aquaworld workers, who happened to have a megaphone with him, and said, "Excuse me, can I borrow your megaphone really quickly? I lost my... um, my niece." Her niece. That's the best she could come up with?

The guy handed her the megaphone, and Sonny held it up to her face and said, "May I have your attention please? Has anybody seen a nine year old child dressed completely in pink?" Her voice projected so loud around the exhibit area that everyone quieted down a bit to listen to her. A bunch of people started to look around, and most of them shook their heads no.

Time to take matters into my own hands. I made my way over to Sonny's side, grabbed the megaphone from her, and said, "Look, Dakota, we know you're here. And if you don't show yourself, I'm going to tell your daddy that you came to Aquaworld without his permission!" Actually, that was just a guess on my part. I wasn't sure if Mr. Condor had given Dakota permission to come here with me or not. The subject had never really come up.

But I guess I was right, because it worked. All of a sudden, I heard an annoyed sounding voice say next to me, "Fine, have it your way."

I turned to look triumphantly at Dakota, who was standing by me and giving me a sullen look. "Thought you could skip out of the Chad now, did ya? You can't fool Chad Dylan Cooper!"

On my other side, Sonny cleared her throat loudly. I stared at her. "What? Oh, right, the megaphone." I handed her the megaphone. "You can give it back to that guy now."

She folded her arms and frowned at me. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

I shrugged. "No, not really... oh." I suddenly realized what she wanted me to say. I took a deep breath, then said reluctantly, "Thanks for helping out, Munroe."

She smiled hugely at me. "No problem!"

"All right, then," I said hurriedly, beginning to steer Dakota towards the exit. "This was fun, but it's time to get back to the studio now, so - "

"Hey, wait!" Sonny dashed in front of me. "You still need to tell me why you're so afraid of dolphins."

"You're afraid of dolphins?" Dakota asked, giving me a dubious look.

"No, I'm not," I scoffed.

"You said they were evil and that they tried to drown you," Sonny persisted.

She really couldn't just let it go, could she? "It's nothing. I just came here when I was eight and patted a stupid dolphin, and it made me fall into the water, I couldn't swim, and I nearly died. End of story. Can you move now?"

She gazed at me stubbornly. "Chad, dolphins are sweet animals. Whatever happened to you before was probably an accident."

"Trust me, Sonny, that wasn't an accident!"

"Can we leave now?" Dakota asked. I was going to say yes, but Sonny cut me off. "I think it's time for you to reconcile with the dolphins," she said, smiling.

I frowned. "Oh, come on, Sonny. I'm not going to try and make peace with a stupid dolphin."

"Yes, you are," she chirped, grabbing my arm again for about the billionth time that day and tugging me off towards the edge of the pool. I stiffened. "Sonny, quit it."

"Chad, you have to get over your fear," she said, gesturing toward the water. As if on cue, a dolphin popped out of the water, swam close to us, and stared at me with its beady eyes. I stared back, feeling frozen.

Sonny stretched out her hand toward the dolphin. I stared at her. "Sonny, what are you doing?" I hissed. "It's going to kill you!"

She didn't answer me. Instead, she reached out and patted the evil creature's head. Surprisingly, it didn't do anything to her. It just made one of its weird little noises. "See, I'm fine," Sonny said reassuringly. "It didn't try to kill me."

"Well, that's because you're Sonny. Everyone just loves you," I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing." I stared hard at the dolphin, aware that both Sonny and Dakota were watching me intently. I tried to imagine that this was just a Mack Falls episode, and that the dolphin was actually a fake prop that wouldn't hurt me. So I reached out...

...and I touched it. Briefly. Then I jerked my hand quickly away.

And nothing happened.

"That's it?" I asked, frowning at the dolphin. "How come it didn't do anything?"

"I told you, you haven't got anything to be afraid of," Sonny told me, giving me a small smile. "Dolphins are completely harmless."

I watched the dolphin swim off and do a fancy little flip in the water. "I guess."

"See! Didn't it feel good to make peace with the dolphins?" She gave me a smug smile. I just shrugged. "Not really." Then I glanced at her and smiled back. "But thanks. I knew you cared."

"I don't care," she said quickly. Her face turned a bit red, and I laughed. "Yeah. Sure, you don't."

"How sweet. Can we go now?" Dakota practically growled.

As I started to stand up, water suddenly squirted in my face. I glared at the dolphin in the pool, which started to laugh. Yeah, it _laughed_. Or, at least, it sounded like it was laughing. You know what, I don't care what anyone says. They're still pure evil. EVIL. "Stupid fish," I muttered. Sonny immediately started to crack up, and she didn't quit laughing until we'd left the dolphin exhibit and said goodbye at the entrance of Aquaworld.

She's so aggravating. Seriously, she needs to quit following me everywhere, because all her happy Wisconsin cheddar dust just seems to make everything worse. Though I guess her helping me get over my fear of those evil creatures was a good thing...

Whatever. I'm going to quit talking about her now.

So I returned Dakota Condor to the studio, gave her her dumb dolphin hat back, then quickly went back to the Stage 2 before Dakota could ask me to bring her anywhere else.

That's all. It was a horrible day, and hopefully I'll never have to go back to that terrible place again.

By the way, I know dolphins aren't fish. But it was the worst insult I could think of at the time.

All right. So, my dear fans, always remember that dolphins are evil. Don't let them fool you, because they are quite capable of killing you.

Now I have to go shoot a scene for a Mack Falls episode. Keep watch for more of my wisdom, though. I promise I'll return soon.

Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>I actually love dolphins. ^^<strong>

**Well, I hope you liked it! If you can, please review! :)**


	10. Clocks

**Holy crud.**

**105 reviews? So soon in the story? What is this madness?**

**Seriously, though, guys, I'm sort of in shock here. Woah. This has never happened with any of my stories before. I can't believe how much people seem to like Chad's wisdom center. You people are so freaking awesome. Like, seriously. I love you all. **

**Well, thank you to everyone who's been reading and reviewing so far! I really appreciate it so much, guys. :D Shoutout to _StayStrong112_, whose review was incredibly sweet (thank you so much your compliments! :'D) and also to _Jessie Brown, _for pointing out that she was my 100th reviewer. c:**

**Well, enjoy!**

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><p>Hello, my fans! Don't worry, it's me, Chad Dylan Cooper, not that diva who's going to be taking over my wisdom center for the next few days. You don't think I'd leave for my important business without saying goodbye to my wonderful fans, did you? I'm not <em>that <em>insensitive.

So today I'm headed off to Texas for my very important business, but since my flight leaves in two hours (my mother insisted I not take my private jet and just go on a first class flight. Oh, joy. Note my sarcasm), I figured I had enough time to write one more topic before I go. I aplogize early on for the possible shortness of this topic (hopefully it won't be that short), but, you know, I don't want to miss my plane.

Well, actually, I do want to miss my plane. But if I purposefully miss my plane, my mom might overreact and do something completely unnecessary, like, I dunno, ground me. Chad Dylan Cooper has never been grounded in his entire life, and he does not intend to be grounded any time soon.

So yeah. All right, I'm going to stop wasting my time and get on to the topic.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Clocks**

Clocks are helpful. Because, you know, they inform you when it's time to get your teeth bleached, or when you have to go get your scheduled massage. Stuff like that.

Of course, clocks do have one drawback: You can't carry them in public, because you'd look like a retard. Trust me, I know. Which is why watches were invented! In my opinion, watches are a lot better than clocks. Those old granddaddy clocks haven't got anything on our new, modern age watches! I don't usually wear a watch myself, but they're very cool.

Ah, don't get me wrong, clocks are ok, too. I'm just not too crazy about them. Especially the ones that make noise. You know, the ones where every hour a bird pops out and goes 'Cuckoo!' or whatever. Those annoy me so. Freaking. Much.

The Randoms actually have one of those somewhere in their Prop House, which makes sense, I guess, seeing as they're all a bunch of cuckoos.

Anyway, as I said before, clocks are good. Not bad, not great, just... good.

Oh, yeah, one more bad thing about clocks is that sometimes they randomly quit working, which is seriously annoying.

All right, let's proceed into story mode then, shall we?

So one marvelous morning at the studio, I was lounging in my dressing room when I noticed that the clock on the wall seemed to be stuck on the same time that it'd been on twenty minutes before. I walked over to it and tapped the clock face, but the hands didn't budge an inch. Which meant it was broken, of course. Why? I don't really know. But that was bad news. I hate to think what would've happened if I hadn't noticed the time until later on. I mean, I could've missed a rehearsal for Mack Falls, which would've been tragic!

Anyway, I stood there, trying to think of how to fix it, when it suddenly occured to me that maybe Weird Girl could help. I mean, if someone who studies the eating habits of squirrels for fun and practically lives in the vents couldn't fix a clock, then I didn't know who could.

So, as much as I didn't want to, I was forced to take my broken clock over to the Randoms' Prop House, which was thankfully empty. None of the other Randoms needed to know that I'd been seeking the help of an 11 year old.

I knocked on Weird Girl's Egyptian thingie. "Knock, knock."

From inside the Egyptian thingamabob, she said in a suspicious sounding voice, "Who's there?"

"Chad Dylan Cooper, of course."

"Chad Dylan Cooper of course who?"

I made a face. "Wow, hilarious. Look, would you please come out of there? I need your help."

The door of the freaky mummy thing opened up, and Zora poked her head outside, giving me the evil eye. "What do you want, Pooper? I was busy trying to get that thing that's been crawling on my leg to climb onto my face."

"Yeah... that's not something I needed to know. Anyway, let's focus on my problem. See this?" I gestured to the blue clock I was holding in my hand. "It's broken, and I need you to fix it."

She took one look at the clock and shook her head. "Nah, I'm good."

She started to duck back inside the Egyptian thingie, but I held it open with my hand. "Wait, no, I'll pay you! Yeah, or I'll, uh, make your vents roomier or something. How about that?"

Weird Girl rolled her eyes. "As tempting as that sounds, I'm good. Besides, being a fixer of clocks isn't in my area of expertise."

I glared at her. "Oh, come on! When do I ever ask you for help?"

She was silent for a few seconds, giving me a hard, calculating stare. I did my best to stare right back at her, because Chad Dylan Cooper does _not _get shown up by little weirdos. Finally Zora folded her arms and said, "Fine. I can't help you, but I know someone who can."

"Awesome," I said, nodding. "Who is this someone?"

She glanced around the room, as though she were checking to make sure no one was listening, then said, "Izzy."

I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. "Izzy?" I repeated blankly. "Who is he?"

She smirked, like she knew something I didn't. "He's the answer to all your problems, and he's also the problem to all your answers."

I stared at her. "Could you please repeat that in English?"

She shook her head. "I hate conversing with the less intelligent species."

"Did you just call me dumb?" I asked, outraged.

She waved a hand at me dismissively. "Look, if you really want your clock fixed, then you can find Izzy in the studio basement. He makes all the props here, so - "

"Buhbuhbuhbuh," I said quickly, holding up a finger to shut her up. "I don't care. Thanks for your help, though, I guess. I'll leave you to your little esophagus, then."

"It's a sarcophagus, nimwit."

"Do I look like I care?"

On that parting note, I left the room to seek out this Izzy dude. I'd never actually been in the basement before. I mean, I'd always known the studio had a basement, since I know everything, but I'd never had the desire or interest to see what was down there.

I really do wish my clock hadn't broken, though. I could've lived my _whole_ life without having to meet that nut.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

A few minutes later, I found myself in the basement, surrounded by all sorts of props, many of which were still in the process of being made. I frowned, picking up a rubber lizard prop and then dropping it in disgust. Time to get to business. "Izzy? You in here?" I looked around. The place seemed empty, except for all those wacky props. I made my way to the back of the room, peering around, "I need someone to fix my clock, and this weird kid told me you could help." Still no answer. "Izzy?"

Suddenly, a voice from behind me yelled, "Is I!"

I let out a manly yell of extreme surprise and jumped aside to stare at the old dude who'd just popped out of nowhere behind me. "Oh, jeez!" I cleared my throat. "Uh, I thought your name was Izzy."

"Is I!" the old guy repeated, brandishing a plastic sword as he said this. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Ok..." I studied the guy. Like I said, he's a pretty old man, with gray hair and a beard. And he's balding. My first impression of him was that he was kind of messed up in the head, and that's still my impression of him now. You'll see why.

"Listen, Izzy or Iz-I or whatever your name is. See this clock? I need you to fix it."

Izzy looked at my clock, then back at me. "That's not a question."

I shrugged. "What's your point?"

"Is that a question?" he asked.

"Um. Yes?"

"Only I ask the questions here! Now what's your question?"

See what I mean? Total nutcase. "Listen, old man, I don't have time for this. I'm Chad Dylan Cooper, and I have a lot of things I need to be doing, so if you'd just fix this clock for me I'd be extremely grateful."

"I know who you are, boy," Izzy said, taking my clock and placing it on a table. I smirked and popped my collar. "Well, of course you do. Everyone does."

Izzy turned back to me and scratched his beard. "I will fix your clock."

I gave him a thumbs-up. "Great. Now I'll just be leaving..."

"But first you must do something for me," he added.

I internally groaned. There was always some kind of catch. "Fine. What do you want?"

He closed his eyes. "Bring me the cellular device of Sonny Munroe."

I stared at him. "What?" was the only word I could think to say.

"Bring me the - "

"I heard what you said the first time!" I snapped. "Why do you need a cell phone to fix a clock? No, let me rephrase that. Why do you need _her _cell phone to fix a clock?"

"That is a question. Only I ask the questions here," said the wacko.

I facepalmed. "How about my cellphone? Use this instead." I started to pull my cell phone out of my pocket, but he shook his head rapidly. "No, no, only the cellular device of Sonny Munroe. That's the one I need. Now be off." He waved at me, then turned and disappeared behind a workbench.

What the hell? How does a cell phone help you fix a clock? That guy is definitely insane.

But, as it was, he seemed to be my only hope of fixing the clock. So, whether it made sense or not, I had to get Sonny's cell phone.

Which is why a few minutes after that, I found myself on my way back to the Randoms' area, in search of the annoying ray of sunshine. And when I found her in the hallway, I asked her if I could please borrow her cell phone. I asked her very nicely, too.

"No way," was her reply. I frowned at her. "Why not? Give me one good reason why you won't give me your cell phone."

She folded her arms across her chest and glowered at me. "Because how do I know that you're not going to text to all the people on my contact list that I'm madly in love with the one and only CDC?" She made quotation marks in the air as she said the last few words.

I smirked at her. "So you admit it, then."

Her glower turned into a full fledged glare. "That's not funny, Chad."

I raised my eyebrows. "I was just kidding. Jeez, you're in a cranky mood today, Sunshine."

She rolled her eyes. "Tawni and I sort of got in a fight. Anyway, I'm not going to give you my cell phone." She began to walk off, and I followed after her. "But I need it!"

"What for?" she asked, turning back to look at me. I opened my mouth, all set to say that I needed it to fix a clock, but then I realized how stupid that sounded. So instead I said, "None of your business."

"You're asking me to give you my phone. Of course it's my business," she countered back.

I narrowed my amazing blue eyes at her, feeling irritated. "Could you please just give it to me? I promise I'll return it." Unless, of course, Izzy had to destroy the phone in order to fix my clock, but I didn't mention that bit. It didn't matter either way, though, because Sonny shook her head firmly. "Sorry, Chad, but unless you give me a really good reason, then my phone stays with me." With that, she turned and flounced off.

Oho, but if she thought I was gonna give up that easily, she was dead wrong. I was determined to get Izzy to fix my clock. So I devised a cunning plan. See, I know Sonny, and every day after rehearsal she goes into her dressing room to take a little nap. While she was sleeping, all I had to do was sneak in, find her phone, and get it over to Izzy before Sonny woke up.

It was a plan only a pure genius like me could come up with.

I waited in my dressing room for a few hours (I think. I don't really know, since my clock was broken and all) until I was pretty sure it was Sonny's naptime, then made my way back to her dressing room. So much for avoiding the Randoms at all costs.

I opened the door on her side of the room and poked my head cautiously inside. The first thing I saw was Sonny, laying on the tacky couch in the middle of the room with her eyes closed and a peaceful expression on her face. She was snoring, too, which made me smile.

I had a strong desire to just sit down on the other chair and watch her sleep, but that would probably have been creepy. Not to mention that's something only sparkly vampires do, and I am much better than some angsty bloodsucker. Edward Cullen's got nothing on Chad Dylan Cooper.

Anyway, I had some business to attend to.

I crept into the room, silently making my way over to Sonny's makeup table. I pushed aside some of Sonny's various objects, searching for her familiar looking cow phone. Unfortunately, I didn't see it. I even checked in her purse, but it wasn't there.

I frowned and leaned against the chair, glancing over at Sonny's sleeping form, and that's when I saw it. It was right there beside her on the couch, underneath her arm. I sucked in my breath. Oh, boy.

I tiptoed over to her side and crouched down, staring hard at the phone and trying to figure out how I could get it out from under her arm without her waking up. It seemed that the only thing I could do was carefully pull it out and replace it with something about the same size, then make a break for it.

I had every intention of returning her phone, don't worry. I mean, once she realized how desperately I needed her phone, she would completely forgive me for stealing it. Maybe.

So I grabbed a small calculator that was randomly lying on the floor and cautiously began to slide it underneath Sonny's arm, at the same time pulling her cell phone towards me.

Then, all of a sudden, Sonny mumbled, "Quit it, Chad."

I froze in my position and stared at her, afraid that I'd been busted. But Sonny's eyes were still closed. I frowned, forgetting about the cell phone for a second, and leaned closer to her, still a bit unsure if she was playing a trick on me or not.

"Chad, that tickles," she said, a smile appearing on her face. "Stop it!"

I smirked. Obviously Sonny was dreaming about me. I was actually incredibly pleased about that, for some reason, not to mention curious. What could possibly be going through her head at that moment? I mean, seriously, what was I possibly doing in her dream that was so ticklish?

Hmm. The only things I can think of that I might have been doing in her dream are some awfully dirty minded stuff. I doubt a totally innocent girl like Sonny would be dreaming about things like that. I was probably just tickling her stomach in her dream.

I guess we'll never know.

The whole time I was pondering this, apparently I'd been leaning closer to her, drawn in by the sweet expression on her face. Somehow my presence must've woken her, because all of a sudden her brown eyes snapped open, and then she shrieked, "What are you doing?"

"Ahh!" I tumbled backwards in shock, still holding her cell phone in my hand.

Sonny jumped to her feet, picked a pillow off of the chair, and promptly began to beat me with it. "It's not nice to watch people when they sleep, Chad! Sheesh, if I didn't know you, I'd say that you were a creep!"

I batted away the pillow. "Ah, stop it!" I stood up, brushed off my jacket, and glared at her. "Was that really neccesary?"

She looked downwards and gasped. "Why are you holding my cell phone?" She focused her gaze on me, looking confused. "Were you trying to steal it while I was sleeping?"

Busted. I tried to change the subject. "Did you know that you snore?"

She didn't fall for it. In fact, the only thing I succeeded in doing was ticking her off. Great. "Chad, I told you that you couldn't have my phone!" she yelled, snatching the black and white device out of my hand. "Just because you think you're better than everyone in the whole world doesn't mean you can sneak in and try to steal my cell phone! What is your problem?"

I stared at her and felt anger rising up inside me. "What's my problem?" I snapped. "You wanna know what my problem is? Fine, I'll tell you what my problem is. My problem is that my clock quit working, and this total wackjob sent me to get your phone, otherwise he won't fix my clock, and then my schedule will get messed up and I'll be late for everything and it'll all be your fault because you're so stubborn!"

I glared at Sonny fiercely, though the baffled expression on her face sort of made my anger melt away slightly. "Wait," she said slowly. "So you need my phone to get your clock fixed?" When I nodded, she blinked. "Why?"

I shrugged. "How should I know? The guy told me I had to bring him your cellular device, otherwise he wouldn't fix my clock. He's a lunatic."

Her confused look remained. "Well, why didn't you just tell me that?"

I shrugged again. "Well, it sounded kind of stupid, and I figured you'd say no, anyway. In my defense, stealing your phone was the only solution." I raised up my hands defensively.

She shook her head. "No, it wasn't. Chad, if you'd just told me the truth, I would've given it to you."

I frowned. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yeah." She handed me the phone. "Here, take it."

I was surprised, to say the least. "Huh. Well, that was easy." I smiled at her. "Thanks. I'll bring it back."

She smiled back. "It's fine, Chad. Now go get your clock fixed."

I nodded in reply and started to leave, but then paused and looked back to grin at her. "You were dreaming about me, you know."

She scoffed. "What're you talking about?"

"You dreamt about me," I repeated, giving her a smug look. "You talked in your sleep. _Oh, Chad, that tickles, stop it!_" I imitated her, then smirked. "So what was I doing in your dream, huh, Munroe?"

Her face turned bright red. "Just go, Chad! And don't watch me when I sleep, it's weird!"

I snickered. "Fine."

"Fine!"

"Good."

"Good!"

I laughed and shut the door right before Sonny tossed a pillow in my direction.

Like I said, I guess we'll never know what it was that she was dreaming about. Too bad, 'cause I really, really want to know.

Anyway, let's skip ahead to the part where I went back to see Izzy. I ran down the stairs into the basement and shouted, "Hey, Izzy, I got the cell phone!" I skidded to a stop by a table and looked around. "Izzy?"

Silence. I groaned. "Oh, come on! I ran all the way here and you decided to leave? Jeez, Izzy."

"IS I!"

I jumped in shock, then whirled around to glare at Izzy, who had, again, appeared out of nowhere. "Quit doing that! Look, I got Sonny's phone. Now fix my clock."

Izzy looked down at Sonny's phone and smiled. "Oh, goody." He picked up the phone and studied it intently. I tapped my foot on the floor. "You gonna fix the clock now?"

"Call it."

I stared at him, not sure if I'd heard him right. "What?"

"Call the cellular device." He waved the phone in the air for added emphasis.

"Um, how will that fix my - ?"

"Is that a question?"

Ok, I really did not want to go through that again. I sighed and muttered, "Fine, I'll call the stupid phone." I got out my own phone and dialed Sonny's number.

Almost instantly, Sonny's phone let out a loud _MOO! _

Izzy clapped his hands gleefully. "Wonderful! Absolutely marvelous!"

"It's mooing. What's so great about that?" I asked, exasperated.

He didn't reply, just closed his eyes and swayed from side to side as the mooing continued.

I'd had enough of his craziness. "I did what you asked, Izzy. Please fix my clock."

"Oh, I fixed it hours ago," he said calmly, still swaying with his eyes closed. I gaped at him. "What do you mean, you fixed it hours ago?"

"Exactly that."

I gestured wildly at the still mooing phone. "Then what'd I get that phone for?"

"Oh, I've always wanted to hear the splendid symphony of the cow's moo. It's fantastic."

Needless to say, I was pissed off. "So you're saying that you made me run around the studio to get some stupid phone from Sonny that you didn't even need? Do you realize how much of my time you wasted? I could've been doing way better things, but no, you had to send me on a wild goose chase!" I glared daggers at him.

In response, Izzy opened his eyes and raised his bushy eyebrows. "Wasted your time? My dear boy, there is no such thing as wasting time, only spending it. And I believe that you spent your time quite nicely."

See? SEE? He's insane! "Oh, yeah, spending time with Sonny Munroe is just dandy," I said sarcastically. "Especially since I hate her and all." Well, ok, so I don't hate her, but I was trying to make a point, ok?

Izzy simply shrugged. "Hate is a strong word."

I rolled my eyes. "Just give me my clock, old man. And the phone, if you're done with it."

He did so without spouting any of his crazy comments, thank God, and I quickly left the basement. Hopefully I'll never have to see or speak to that dude again. He's crazy.

Though I guess the whole thing wasn't a _complete _waste of time... I mean, I did find out that Sonny dreams about me. Heh.

But still. I don't enjoy spending time with _her, _of all people. Especially when she beats me up with a freaking pillow.

Anyway.

Wow, this was actually longer than I'd planned it to be. Well, hopefully the longness of this topic will help you to survive the lack of Chadlyness in your lives for the next three days. I know there'll be a huge hole in your hearts while I'm gone, but don't worry, I'll be back soon.

Well, my fans, I'd better go now.

Normally I'd end with the usual 'Peace out, suckas!', but since this is such a sad occasion in your lives, I won't.

I'll just wish you good luck with Sonny, I guess. Trust me, you're gonna need it.

Chad Dylan Cooper out.

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><p><strong>Does anyone else love Izzy as much as I do? He cracked me up. I wish he'd been in more than one episode. Anyway, get ready for some Sonny wisdom! C: I'm so excited.<strong>

**Thanks for reading, guys! Review, please!**

**And since Chad didn't say it, then I'll say it for him... peace out, suckas! xD**

**~Ginger**


	11. Ice Cream

**Hey, guys! As always, thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. You guys rock. C:**

**Oh, yeah, and check this out: http:/ gingerflight. deviantart. com/art/In-Theory-245676022 (with no spaces, of course)**

**Haha, isn't it awesome? :D I'm really proud of how it came out. Chad and Sonny look so cute. ^^ **

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p>Wow.<p>

Just... wow.

Chadly wisdom? You call this wisdom, Chad? You've gotta be kidding me.

Ah, sorry. I was distracted for a second and completely forgot to introduce myself. Well, hi, everyone, I'm Sonny Munroe from So Random! Chad told you I was taking over for a bit, right? If he didn't, then... well, I am. He had to go to Texas for his little cousin's birthday party. Isn't that so sweet? But I bet he probably told you guys that he was going off on some "important business", huh?

Psh. Chad cares too much about his dumb image.

Anywho, I'm sitting in my dressing room typing all this on my laptop. Tawni just left a second ago to go get some lunch. I was going to tell her about this, but then I figured she might overreact about me helping Chad, blab to the others, and then everyone would be on my back. So I'm just gonna keep this a secret from her, I think.

I should probably get to writing about some topic, right? Chad explained what I was supposed to do before he left, but I still didn't really get it. So I started reading some of his "wisdom" center to see what I had to do, but I quit reading after the first topic on nuts. Seriously, how can you guys read this garbage? I mean, if they're all as bad as the first one was, then there's really no point in reading the rest.

Or should I read them? I'm sort of curious to know what goes on in that swelled head of his.

Although... I KNEW IT! You do hate nuts, Chad! I knew you were lying about liking them! The cookie dough tasted bad... please! I was right the whole time!

HAH!

I'm getting off topic, aren't I? Yeah... I do that a lot. It's sort of a habit with me, but hopefully you guys won't mind if I start to ramble. Maybe.

One more thing before I get started: I am NOT a diva, or a drama queen. Far from it, actually. And my friends aren't losers or idiots. Don't believe everything that Chad says, guys, because half the time he's just lying.

Oh, and here's a piece of "Chadly wisdom" for you. Chad Dylan Cooper is the world's biggest, fattest jerk.

So there.

Now let's get this party started!

**Sonny Munroe On Ice Cream**

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! Haha! I love saying that!

So... I love ice cream. I mean, who doesn't? Saying you don't love ice cream is like saying you don't love cute little kittens, or puppies, or, um, laughter! I mean, what person doesn't love laughter? Well, Chad apparently doesn't (or so he says), but I'm starting to think he's not really a human being, so... he doesn't count.

I personally think it's impossible to _not _love ice cream. I mean, there's so many different flavors for every person! They've got your basics, like vanilla, which is great, and strawberry, which is yummy, and chocolate and mint and cookies n' cream and cotton candy and... and everything!

And it's all deliciously creamy and cold and _yum_. The perfect treat for a hot summer day. Or any day, really.

...that's all I can think of to write. So, uh... was that wisdom-y enough? I don't really know.

I think that's all I have to do, right?

Oh, wait, Chad told me I have to tell you all some story about my personal experience with the topics. Apparently it helps the Chadlyness of his Chadly wisdom to truly sink in. Those are his words, not mine, by the way.

I might as well do what he asked. I mean, he _is _going to donate to that new charity for those poor little malnourished children, so it's the least I can do, I guess.

Hmm... what would be a good example for ice cream...? Ooh, I think I got one! All righty, then, here goes!

One afternoon, I was walking towards the studio parking lot. I'd had a long, hot day at the studio, and being from Wisconsin, the heat was sort of getting to me. I was all set to head back to my apartment and stick my head in front of the air conditioner. Because in times of extremely hot weather, the air conditioner is my best friend in the whole wide world. It's true.

So I was making my way towards my car when all of a sudden I heard a voice call after me, "Sonny! Hey, wait up!"

I could tell right away that it was Chad who was yelling my name. Against my better judgement, I stopped and turned around as Chad skidded to a stop in front of me. "What?" I asked, not at all pleased that he was keeping me from my beautiful air conditioner.

Chad looked freaked out. He glanced behind him, panting for air, then gasped out, "I'm being stalked."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Is that all?"

"This is serious, Sonny!" He glared at me. "Look, I can't explain right now, because she's been chasing me for the past fifteen minutes, and she's going to find me soon so I need you to - "

"Woah, woah, wait a second." I held up my hands to stop his rant. "Who're you talking about?"

He glanced over his shoulder again. "No time. Look, please do this for me, Sonny."

I looked at him blankly, feeling totally confused. "Do what?" I shook my head. "Oh, never mind. Now as much as I would love to spend time with the one and only CDC, I'd rather hang out with my _AC_, if you get my drift," I deadpanned. See what I did there? CDC, AC? Hehe...

All of a sudden, a new, higher pitched voice squealed, "Chaddy!" I looked around Chad to see a very tan girl with long raven black hair approaching us at a fast pace, a big grin on her face. Chad's face paled, and he suddenly grabbed my hand. I was about to protest about that hand grabbing thing, but he gave a tiny shake of his head and muttered, "Just play along."

Sure. Whatever. It's not like I needed to go anywhere or something because I was dying from too much heat exposure. Definitely not.

"Hey, Ashley," Chad said in a cheerful voice that I could tell was fake. He smiled at the new girl. "Listen, it's been really fun, but it's time for you to go, so - "

"But Chaddy!" Ashley pouted, completely ignoring me. I raised my eyebrows. Chaddy? Who was this girl? "I had our day all planned out! We were going to watch a romantic movie, make out, then watch the sunset and make out some more!"

I tried to keep my face straight, but it was hard, since her words combined with Chad's mildly disgusted expression made me want to burst into a fit of giggles.

Of course, what Chad said next made my need to giggle disappear instantaneously.

"Um, that sounds... great, Ashley," Chad said in a strained voice. "But I told you, I have a girlfriend. See?" He patted my shoulder with his free hand. "Meet my girlfriend, Sonny."

Girlfriend? Me? I really wish I'd been drinking a coke when he said that. Then I could have spat it out all over his dumb face.

Instead, I just stared at him. "What?" I asked blankly.

He narrowed his eyes at me, and I remembered how he told me to play along. I found myself nodding and saying, "Oh, yeah, I'm Chad's girlfriend all right."

Chad nodded to Ashley, who was just staring at the two of us with her mouth hanging open. "We've been going out for a while. I told you that, remember?"

I felt the need to add something, so I gave Chad a sweet smile and said, "Mmhmm, when he asked me to be his girlfriend it was sort of... out of the blue. And I had absolutely _no idea what was going on_." I squeezed his hand extra hard and was satisfied to see him wince a bit.

"Ok, well, it was nice meeting you, Ashley, but we really have to get going," Chad said hurriedly, then turned and tugged me off in the direction of his convertible. I opened my mouth to ask him what was going on, but he muttered, "Shh, she's watching." I wasn't really sure what the big deal was, but Chad seemed really anxious, so I didn't ask and just let him continue to hold my hand. Which was actually pretty nice, now that I think about it. Not that that means anything, of course.

He opened the door to his convertible for me. I hesitated, then entered, and Chad went to sit in the driver's seat, looking tense. He remained tense until we pulled out of the studio parking lot, and then I saw him visibly relax. "Oh, man, that was close," he said.

I glared at him. "Really? Care to tell me what just happened out there, boyfriend?" I smacked his shoulder lightly, and he yelped, "Hey, I'm driving!" I rolled my eyes. "Chad, I want an explanation."

We approached a red light, and Chad stopped the car. Then he looked over at me, and I met his gaze against my will. You know, you'd think his eyes aren't actually as blue as they are on TV, but they are. They're even bluer, if that's possible. And unfortunately, it's very easy to get lost in those stupid eyes of his, which is exactly what happened to me at that moment. I sort of just stared into his eyes for a moment until Chad snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Hey, Sonny, are you in there?"

I jerked back to reality and felt my face flushing. Gah. "Sorry," I said. "Were you saying something?"

He smirked at me, but didn't make fun of me for getting lost in his eyes, thank goodness. Instead, he said, "Today at the Mack Falls set we had a sort of fan meet and greet, and this one girl apparently decided that I was her boyfriend."

"Ashley?" I guessed.

He shuddered. "Yeah. Even when the meet and greet was over, she wouldn't quit following me around. Sonny, she was everywhere I went, even in my private bathroom." He sounded horrified. I stifled a laugh. "She's been stalking me all day, and it was really creepy, so when I saw her fifteen minutes ago I made a break for the parking lot, and she chased me. Then I saw you and got that idea..." He trailed off. The light turned green, and he resumed his driving.

I frowned, trying to process it all in my head. "So... I'm not your girlfriend."

He laughed. "Obviously not. Thanks for playing along, by the way. I hate to say this, but I guess I owe you now." He smiled at me. I nearly melted right then and there, and not just because of the heat (though that was partly why, too). Just because I strongly dislike the guy doesn't mean I'm blind to his looks, especially when he smiles like that. I wish I was, but I'm not. Too bad, that would make life so much easier. I chuckled nervously. "Uh huh..."

Then I brightened as I got an idea. "Wait, so you owe me?"

He shrugged. "Didn't I just say that?"

I beamed at him. "Great! Let's go get some ice cream!"

He kept his eyes on the road, but he looked confused. "Why?"

"Because I'm really hot," I whined. I think I heard him mumble something like, "You can say that again", but I probably just imagined it, because then he said, "Are you kidding me? It's not hot at all."

I scoffed. "I'm not used to the California heat like you are, Chad. I was born in Wisconsin, remember?"

He sighed. "Fine, I'll get you some - " Then he abruptly quit talking and stared at something in his rearview mirror. His silence worried me. "Chad? Are you ok?" I asked, concerned.

"Oh my God, she's following us," he whispered. I tilted my head. "What are you talking about?" I turned around in my seat and looked at the car in the back of us, then blinked. "Oh." I waved weakly at the car behind us.

In the driver's seat of the car, Ashley returned my wave with a grin that made her look crazy. I turned back around in my seat. "Well, that's not good."

"Oh, really?" Chad said, clutching the wheel tightly. "Isn't that the understatement of the century." He took a deep breath. "Sonny, think you can wait a while for your ice cream?"

"Um, I guess."

"Good." He hit the gas pedal, and then we were off, zooming through the streets of Hollywood _waaaaaaaay_ above the speed limit. "Chad, slow down!" I shrieked, clutching the edges of my seat in panic.

"No way!" he yelled back, glaring at the road. "I'm not letting that crazy chick catch up to us!"

"But we're going above the speed limit!"

"This is Hollywood! Nobody cares about the speed limit!"

"I do!"

"Then you're a nobody!"

I had a sudden desire to throttle him. "What did you just say?"

He groaned. "Look, Sonny, just be quiet and let me drive!"

I huffed and shut up as Chad continued to drive like a maniac. If he got a ticket, then it was his own stupid fault. Of course, he didn't get a ticket at all. Figures. But for the record, I didn't relax until he slowed down and stopped the car by the corner. And even then I was still ticked off at him for calling me a nobody. I glowered at him as he slumped against the chair and sighed. "I think we lost her."

"Good," I retorted, unbuckling myself. "Now please unlock the door so I can get out."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Why?"

I folded my arms and resolutely glared in the opposite direction. "Because I don't want to be stuck in a car with some lunatic driver."

Of course he saw right through me. "Is this about what I said?" he asked. "Sonny, I was panicking. I didn't mean it."

"Sure, you didn't," I said sarcastically, trying and failing to open the car door. Chad leaned over, grabbed my shoulders, and turned me around so that I faced him. "I'm serious. I would never call you a nobody and mean it." He looked completely honest and sincere, and I sighed. When he looked at me like that, it was hard not to forgive him. "Really?"

He smirked. "Not to your face, anyway," he said in a teasing tone, and I smiled. "Fine, I forgive you." I looked out the door and grinned. "Hey, look, there's an ice cream parlor right there! Chad, hurry up and unlock the door, I need to cool down fast!"

Chad made me beg him for a few minutes before he finally unlocked the door, and then I jumped out of the convertible and ran into the ice cream shop as fast as I could go. Once I got inside, I was met with a blast of cool air. I nearly fainted from pure joy. Instead of fainting, I just dropped down to my knees and cried out, "I FEEL SO ALIVE!"

Which was probably worse than fainting, since I just got a bunch of weird stares from all the people in there.

But, to be honest, I didn't really care.

Chad followed me afterwards and looked down at me, disbelief mixing with amusement in his expression. "How about I pretend I don't know you?"

I smirked at him, already in a much better mood from the wonderful cool air. "That might be tough to do, boyfriend," I laughed. He smiled. "Uh huh. So would you like me to buy us some ice cream?"

I hopped to my feet. "Yes!" Then I rushed over to the area where they keep all the ice cream and pressed my face up against the glass, practically drooling as I stared at all the tubs of ice cream. They had, like, every kind of ice cream flavor in that parlor, no joke.

I took forever to decide, because they all looked so good, but I eventually decided on cotton candy flavored ice cream, in a cone, of course. Chad got chocolate flavored in a cone and paid for both of us. Then we sat down at a table and got to eating.

I licked my ice cream blissfully. It was absolutely delicious, by the way. "This is really good. I think I've found my one true love in the form of ice cream," I said happily.

Chad smirked at me over his own ice cream cone. "Oh, so now you're cheating on me with the ice cream?"

I grinned at him mischieviously. "Why, are you jealous?"

He shrugged. "Well, if you prefer cold and creamy over charm and good looks, then I suppose I'll just have to deal with it."

I giggled. "Charm? Good looks? I dunno about that, Cooper."

"Ooh, that hurts, Sonny," he teased back, smiling that perfect smile of his. It really should be illegal for someone to look that good. I'm just saying.

Anyway, I don't really remember how I replied back, because all of a sudden a loud voice came from the doorway, saying, "Oh, Chaddy! Where are yoouuu?"

Chad's face paled. "Please tell me that's not who I think it is."

I peeked over the little wall separating us from some of the other diners and stared at the black haired girl who'd just walked through the door and was looking around intently for something... or somebody. "Ok. It's not who you think it is," I said, trying to sound calm for his sake.

"You're lying, aren't you?" he said. Without waiting for me to answer, he handed me his ice cream cone and then ducked down underneath the table. His voice came from by my feet, "How the heck did she find us?"

"Well, your car _is _parked out front. It's not really that hard to figure out, Chad," I said helpfully.

"That was a rhetorical question."

"Oh... sorry."

We didn't have time to say anything more, because apparently Ashley saw me, and the next thing I knew she was standing in front of me, a smile on her face. "Where's Chaddy?"

I figured it was time to get back into the role of Chad Dylan Cooper's girlfriend. Good thing I'm an actress, right? "His name's Chad, actually. And he's my boyfriend, just so you know."

"I know he's around here somewhere," she went on, completely ignoring me. "Where are you hiding him?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not hiding him anywhere. I'm just trying to enjoy my ice cream. See?" I waved both ice cream cones in her face.

Ashley scoffed. "Do you think I'm stupid? I saw his car, I know he's here."

I shrugged. "Well, he's not. And he's not interested in you either, if you must know, so - "

"I don't believe you," she hissed. "Besides, Chad Dylan Cooper would never date a girl like _you_."

I raised my eyebrow and stood up to face her. "Is that what you think?"

"Well, of course. Why would Chad date someone as ugly as you when he could have someone gorgeous like me?" she sneered. I stared at her, unable to believe that she'd just told me that. Really, people are so rude nowadays.

I didn't have time to come up with a witty retort, though, because from under the table Chad's voice said angrily, "Shut up." Then he was suddenly standing next to me, glaring at Ashley, who just grinned. "Oh, Chaddy, I knew you'd come to me!" She sort of pushed me out of the way, and I nearly dropped my ice cream cones.

"I. Am. Not. Your. Boyfriend," Chad said between gritted teeth.

Ashley pouted. "Oh, you have short term memory loss. Let's see if this'll help you remember our love." Then she grabbed his shirt, pulled him towards her, and _kissed _him. On the mouth. Yeah, I know, it was really shocking. I mean, who the heck did she think she was?

I'm not really sure what exactly came over me at that moment. I just remember suddenly being incredibly angry. That's about when I shoved my ice cream cone onto Ashley's head.

Ashley shrieked and jumped away from Chad, then reached up to touch her head, which had ice cream and broken pieces of a cone all over it. I glared at her and held up the other ice cream cone threateningly. "You touch my man again, and this ice cream's gonna be shoved somewhere else."

Woah. Well, that didn't sound like me at all. Like I said, I honestly have no idea what came over me. But whatever it was, it did the trick, because Ashley sort of whimpered, held her head, and then ran out of the store. I brandished my ice cream cone and called, "And don't come back!" After an afterthought, I added, "Please!"

After a second of glaring at the door, I realized that Chad was staring at me. I cleared my throat and handed him his chocolate ice cream cone back. "Well, that was a waste of some good ice cream," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Chad laughed. "It worked, though. Thanks, Sonny."

I shrugged. "My pleasure," I replied.

He grinned. "You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were jealous."

I stared at him, then started to laugh. "Haha! Jealous? You mean, of her kissing you? Pfft! Chad, are you crazy? I was not jealous." I shook my head, still laughing. I mean, the idea of me being jealous was just ridiculous, seeing as I don't even like him.

"Seemed like you were," Chad pointed out.

"Nah," I said, waving a hand dismissively. "I was just..." I paused, not sure how to describe why I'd been so angry. Finally I said, "I was just disgusted, you know, because... well, her kissing you was just gross." I added in a shudder for a better effect.

Chad didn't look like he believed me, but he shrugged. "Ok, then. Want me to buy you another ice cream?"

I sighed, glad he wasn't talking about it anymore. "Sure."

So I got another ice cream and Chad got rid of his crazy stalker girl (with my help). Yay! All's well that ends well!

Yes! I successfully finished my first topic post!

You know, that was actually really fun to do. Huh. I think I might just enjoy this!

Wow. I guess Chad actually had a good idea, for once. That's pretty hard to believe.

Well, that's about it! I think I have to go now, anyway, it's time for rehearsal. Speaking of which... So Random's awesome! Watch So Random, not Mackenzie Falls! Thank you!

Yeah, I'm gonna enjoy this.

Well, bye, guys!

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><p><strong>Yay Sonny wisdom! I had fun writing in her point of view, though it took a while, because I haven't written in her POV in a while. C: <strong>

**Well, thanks for reading! I really love reviews, so... please review! **

**~Ginger**


	12. The Ocean

**Oh my gosh, there's school next week. D: How did this day come up so quickly? I'm going to be a freshman in high school. Gah, I'm really nervous. **

**Anyway... thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter! It actually had the most reviews out of all the chapters. I'm glad you guys like Sonny's POV. ^^ I'm not too crazy about this chapter, though, but I hope you guys like it all the same.**

**Oh, yeah, time apparently travels slowly in this story. Sonny writes this chapter on the same day that she wrote Ice Cream. ^^**

* * *

><p>Hey again, guys, it's me, Sonny! I know I probably shouldn't be updating this thing again on the same day, since Chad kept telling me over and over again, "Only one topic per day!" It was pretty annoying how he kept repeating himself, actually.<p>

But... Chad's not here now. So he can't really stop me, can he? Besides, why can't I do more than one topic per day? It's fun! Chad's such a party pooper. Pfft.

And anyway, I think you guys seem to like my "wisdom" more than you like Chad's "wisdom", based on some of the feedback I got. Chad's definitely not gonna like that. Heehee.

Well, I'm glad you guys like me! Because you're all so awesome and nice, you deserve a smiley face! :D

Yay, smiley face! Smiley faces always make everything better! Well, they do for me, anyway. So I'm guessing they do for everyone else, too!

Sooo... I'm chillaxing in my room at my apartment while typing all this. Yeah, I'm not at the studio anymore. I don't stay there _that _late. And anyway, Marshall (our executive producer, if you didn't know) let us all go home early, because we've got dress rehearsal at 9 A.M., which is earlier than usual, so... yep.

Oh, you guys don't want to hear about this. I'm probably boring you to tears. Sorry! I'll start writing the topic now, I promise.

Ooh, scratch that. Mom just came in and told me that the food's ready. Mmm, baked chicken. Yum. Be right back!

...

I'm back! Okie dokie, one new topic coming right up!

**Sonny Munroe On The Ocean**

Oh, I love the ocean! It's so pretty. It's such a wonderful blue-ish color, and it's, like, a never ending expanse of water, which is really awesome, when you think about it. And when the sun shines on the water it looks extra pretty! And sparkly. I love it so much.

Too bad it keeps getting polluted with all those oil spills and whatnot. Why do people keep throwing garbage into the ocean? What's wrong with you people? Think of those poor turtles who get caught in all that trash! And all those other animals, too, like dolphins, and penguins, and baby seals, and... and... and it's just sad!

It makes me want to cry just thinking about all those poor creatures who die every day because of us.

I talked to Tawni once about how terrible it is that the environment keeps being polluted. It was sort of a pointless talk, though, since Tawni pretty much ignored me the whole time and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Then she cut me off, told me I was a treehugger, and walked out of the room.

I, personally, don't understand what she was talking about. I'm pretty sure that I've never hugged a tree in my entire life. I mean, I think I'd remember if I hugged a tree, don't you think?

But my point is, what's so wrong about caring about the environment? That's right, nothing. There is nothing wrong with caring about our home. I wouldn't expect someone like Tawni to understand, I guess, since she's more interested in her lipstick.

Oh, hey, talking about this just made me think of an example story for you guys!

A few months ago, I had this great idea to sort of help out the environment by picking up trash off the beach and such. I mean, it was a very small thing, but it's the small things we do that make the big changes. At least, I hope they do. My point is, I decided to go help clean the beach. Good idea, right?

So on the weekend, I headed off to the studio as usual. We don't really need to go to the studio on the weekends, but most of the time my castmates have nothing better to do, so they go to work to rehearse things or just hang out. I went that morning to see if anyone wanted to help me in my beach clean-up. Tawni refused to come help me. No surprise there. Nico and Grady said they were too busy trying to beat their high score on a video game, and no one knew where Zora was. I actually thought about going to Chad for help, but then I realized that he'd probably just say no, too.

So I was on my own. Not that I minded, that was ok with me, but... well, I'd sort of been hoping for some company.

Anyway, since no one wanted to come with me, I drove off to the beach nearest to the studio. Once I got there, I hopped out of the car and breathed in the salty ocean air happily. It's really relaxing at the beach, and if you've never gone there then I suggest that you do. It's great!

Ok, so it was almost lunchtime, which meant that there were quite a lot of people at the beach. I probably should've gone earlier, but oh well. And I'd actually forgotten my packed lunch at the studio in my excitement to get there. I was sort of hungry, but I pushed that hunger aside, got out of my car with my plastic bag in hand, and started to... well... pick up trash off the ground.

Yeah. It's that easy. Anyone can do it.

I took my iPod out of my pocket and popped the earbuds into my ears, then put on a song by Trey Brothers and started to sing along with the music as I walked along down the beach. I was having a grand time, I'll tell you that.

Then the screaming girls totally ruined the moment.

I was picking up an empty gatorade bottle when I heard their shrill shrieks. I stopped, startled, and pulled out my earbuds. Thinking that someone was drowning, I stared around, searching for the lifeguard.

Then I saw the teenage girls, about my age, running in my general direction and screaming something I couldn't understand. I froze, not entirely sure what was going on.

I probably would've gotten run over by them, but then somebody grabbed me from behind and pulled me out of harm's way. Of course, then the stampede just changed direction and headed toward me and my savior. My savior yelled at me, "Run!" I didn't have time to think about how familiar the guy's voice sounded before he'd grabbed my hand and charged forward, dragging me (and my bag o' junk) along with him.

The girls chased me and the dude across the beach, slinging various objects at us, like necklaces and charm bracelets and, in the case of one girl, a bra.

Uh. Ok. I've seen weirder things than that, but... that was still really, really odd.

We finally managed to ditch the girls after a while. I don't really remember how, since the whole chase was sort of a blur. But I'm pretty sure the guy who saved me pulled us behind a nearby shack, and we hid there as the girls ran past in the opposite direction. Wow. They were sort of dumb. No offense to them, of course.

I plopped down in the sand and tried to catch my breath. The dude, who I hadn't gotten a good look at yet, sighed and said, "Next time I'm wearing a disguise."

That's when I finally put two and two together and realized who that person was. I turned my head to gawk at him. "Chad?"

Chad, who had been staring around the corner of the shack, looked over at me with raised eyebrows. "Yes, I'm Chad. And you're Sonny Munroe, remember? You didn't hit your head, did you? What are you doing here anyway?"

I think I was going to say something, but I was distracted when I looked downward a bit and noticed HE HAD NO SHIRT ON.

Have any of you ever seen Chad Dylan Cooper without a shirt? I hadn't until then. Oh my gosh. He actually has abs. I didn't know he has abs, but he does. I really hate to say this, but Chad looks incredibly good without a shirt. I don't want to go into any more detail about it, because if Chad reads this and sees that I was fawning over his abs, I will melt into a puddle of embarassment and never show my face at Condor Studios again. Ever.

Anyway, my point is, he looked sorta/kinda/maybe hot-ish, and my mind was completely blown from too much exposure to shirtlessness. Yep. That's the safest way to describe it. Chad, if you do read this, please don't mention it to me. Otherwise I will be forced to get Zora to hurt you.

Moving on.

Apparently I just sat there staring at his abs for a long while, because Chad waved his hand in front of my face and said, "Hello? You in there?"

"Where's your shirt?" I finally managed to choke out. I can't believe that's the only thing I could think of to say. I'm so ashamed.

Chad gave me a confused look at first, then his eyes lit up, a smirk appeared on his face. "Why, you liking the view?"

I mentally slapped myself. "No, of course not."

His smirk widened even more. "If you like this, you'll probably like it even better if I take off the rest of my clothes, too, huh?"

Um. Ew. I smacked his shoulder. "Chad, you're disgusting. Shut up," I said, glaring at him. "And it's just weirding me out, that's all." Which wasn't a complete lie, actually. "Can't you cover it up?"

He scoffed. "Trust you to overreact. Can't I at least get a thank you for saving you from getting run over by my fans?"

That explained the screaming girls. I huffed and rolled up my sleeves before standing. "You just dragged me across the beach. How is that any different from being run over by those girls?" I retorted. "So no, I'm not going to thank you."

Chad stood up, too, and grinned at me. "Really?"

"Really," I said, nodding.

"I've got ways to make you do what I want, you know," he said slyly, winking at me. Whatever that meant.

I rolled my eyes. "Chad, I don't have time for this. I'm really busy, because I'm trying to clean up the - "

"Shh," Chad interrupted me, putting a finger under my chin and tilting my head upwards so that I was looking at his face. Without really thinking about it, I locked my gaze with his and temporarily forgot what it was I was trying to clean up.

I told you guys that his eyes are really blue, right? Well, on the beach, they look even more blue, for some reason. Like, ocean blue. That's pretty ironic, considering the topic right now is the ocean. I mean, his eyes are just so blue and deep and sparkly (well, one of them is) and you sort of get lost in them if you look too close, and -

Ok, really? Am I seriously blabbering about _this_, out of all things? I'm sorry.

And for the record, the fact that he has abs and really nice blue eyes doesn't make him any less of a jerk. And I still strongly dislike him as much as ever. So there.

Anyway, as I gazed into his eyes, I heard myself murmur, "Fine, thank you."

Chad smirked. "Told you I could make you say it."

Argh. Stupid hypnotizing ocean-y eyes. I snapped back to my senses and glared at him. "Whatever, Chad. Now if you'll excuse me, I have better things I need to be doing..." I started to walk off in the most dignified way I could muster, with my head held high and my bag o' junk held tightly in my hands. Well, apparently Chad couldn't bear to see me go or something, because he said, "Hey, wait!"

Next thing I know, he was standing in front of me, blocking my path. I didn't have time to stop walking, so of course I walked right into him. I bonked my head into his shirtless chest (and got a whiff of some nice smelling cologne while I was at it. He smells good. Is that weird of me to say? Yes, yes it is), then promptly freaked out and jumped back. "What the heck? Don't walk in front of me when you're not wearing a shirt!" I yelled at him.

His eyes widened, and he held up his hands defensively. "You're touchy today."

Did it ever occur to him that maybe I wouldn't be so touchy if he'd just put on a flipping shirt? I get that he thinks he's all that, but there was no need to go rubbing his abs in my face. Literally. "Well, I'm trying to help the environment, and you're distracting me," I said, sure that my annoyance was reflected in my expression. "Can you please just go away? I'm sure your fan girls would love to keep you company."

"You're trying to help the environment? How? Does it have anything to do with that bag of trash?" he asked, gesturing to my plastic bag. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or sincere. Either way, my annoyance with him kind of disappeared, though I was still a bit nervous about the lack of shirt thing. "Actually, yes," I said proudly, smiling. "I'm picking up trash off the beach. People are always littering here, and it's really bad for the environment. So I'm helping out."

He frowned. "But that's stupid. Why don't you just let other people do it for you?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's my contribution to Mother Nature, Chad. This is our home, and I'm going to do my best to help out our home as much as I can. Now, if you'd please move..." I stepped around him and started to quickly walk away (well, as quickly as I could go in the sand).

I was about two feet away from him when I heard his voice say behind me, "So do you need any help?"

I stopped short, then turned around to stare at him incredulously. "What?"

"Please don't make me repeat myself," he said, crossing his arms across his bare chest, which I did my best not to gawk at. Instead, I smiled. "Really? Chad Dylan Cooper is offering to help me?"

He shrugged. "There's always room to try something new, right?"

I laughed. "I guess so. Yeah, I'd appreciate some help. You're not going to change your mind on me, are you?" I peered at him suspiciously, and he grinned widely. "Nah, I think I can afford to do something for Mother Nature just this once. But just so you know, I'll deny that I helped you if anyone asks."

"Fine by me," I said happily. "And Mother Nature'll be pleased to hear that, Chad. Now come on, let's go!" I began to skip off, but stopped when he called, "Sonny, are you crazy? I can't go out there like this, my fans will attack us again!"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, what do you want me to do about it?"

"This shack should be selling some hats and sunglasses. Buy me some so I can disguise myself."

I laughed, thinking he was joking. Then I realized he was serious. "Oh, do I have to?" I sighed.

"If you want me to help you, then yes."

"...Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

We smiled at each other, then Chad ducked down again and I headed to the front of the shack to buy him a disguise. Along with the sunglasses and hat he'd requested, I bought a large shirt, which I tossed in his direction the second I went out back to meet him again.

"I didn't ask for a shirt," he pointed out, looking confused.

I gave him a pointed look. "Put it on, Chad." He made a face. "Oh, come on, Sonny, you know you like seeing me without a shirt."

That was true. But I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. I placed my hands on my hips and gave him the evil eye. Finally, he heaved a sigh. "Ok, ok, I'll put on the stupid shirt." With that, he pulled the shirt over himself, and I instantly felt relieved. Smiling, I said sweetly, "Was that so hard?"

"Sort of." He placed the hat on his head and added on the sunglasses, and his disguise was complete. I mean, I still recognized him, of course, but to other people it would probably be hard to tell who he was. Anyway, I beamed. "Let's go help the environment!"

"Yay," he said, not very excitedly. I just giggled and tugged him off down the beach.

We picked up loads of trash, and no one bugged us the rest of the time we were there. I guess Chad's disguise worked. And then he bought lunch for me after my stomach started grumbling. So overall, it was a pretty good day.

Too bad I still can't get that dumb image of his shirtless self out of my mind. I try to forget, but I can't. It's really aggravating.

Oh, man. This topic wasn't that good. I'm sorry, guys, but I'm awfully tired now. I have to hit the sack, my eyes are practically drooping from exhaustion. I promise my next topic will be a lot better than this!

G'night!

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><p><strong>Yeah... the only thing exciting that happens in here is Sonny's obsession over Chad's abs. I really am sorry, this is the best I could think of. :u But as Sonny said, the next chapter will be better, I swear. But I've noticed that a lot of the chapters I didn't think were that good are chapters that a lot of people found entertaining. So... hopefully you guys liked it anyway? I dunno.<strong>

**Well, please review! Every review is greatly appreciated! I keep saying that, I know, but only because it's true. c: **

**Anddd... I'm going to bed now. See you soon. ^^**

**~Ginger**


	13. Pencils

**The first day of high school actually wasn't so bad. Huh. Well, I hope the rest of my year will be good. c:**

**Well, thanks to everyone who reviewed for the last chapter, and all those who read and put this story on their alerts. :D Hope you all enjoy this next chapter!**

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><p>Hey again, guys, it's me, Sonny! I'm here at the studio again, really early in the morning, with my castmates. My <em>grumpy <em>castmates, I should say. Yeah... they're not really morning people. I'm usually not, either, but for some reason I felt pretty cheerful when I got to the studio.

Probably 'cause Chad's not here to ruin my day. Haha! Oh, I wish he could stay in Texas longer, I'm really enjoying his absence. Well, I guess I miss our daily fight, but... that's pretty much it. Other than that, I don't miss him at all!

And in case you're wondering, no, I'm not lying. Why would I be lying? Pfft. That's ridiculous.

Oh, speaking of Chad, he called me this morning. Yeah, I figured you guys might want to know, since, well, you're his fans and all. I personally don't see how you guys could possibly be fans of that jerk, but I guess everyone has got different opinions about certain people. Anyway, our conversation went sort of like this:

Me: Hi, Chad!

Chad: Well, you sound more cheerful than usual, if that's even possible. Happy to hear my voice?

Me: Psh, are you kidding me? I'm just happy that you aren't here to bug me all day.

Chad: ...

Me: Chad? You still there?

Chad: ...yes.

Me: Um... so what's up at your cousin's house?

Chad: You don't want to know.

Me: Actually, I do.

Chad: Trust me. You don't.

Me: Ok...?

Chad: How's it going with my wisdom center?

Me: Oh, man, I'm having loads of fun with it! It's going really well so far, all your fans seem to like me and -

Chad: LIAR!

Anddd... then he hung up, leaving me to stare at my phone and wonder what the heck that was all about.

Great conversation, huh? Not really. Now, what I can't understand is why he had to ask how it was going when he'd apparently already convinced himself that I was liar either way. He's so... argh.

Ok, on to the topic!

**Sonny Munroe On Pencils**

Pencils? That's a really random topic suggestion. Which is why I just had to do something on it, of course! Haha. Okie dokie, let's see... well, I'm sure all of you know what a pencil is. If you don't, then... well, I don't really know what to tell you. Maybe you could look up the definition of a pencil on Google or something? I dunno. But, then again, who doesn't know what a pencil is?

Erm... well, pencils are pointy. And good writing utensils. And... um... they're pointy! Wait, did I already write that? Oh, shoot, I did.

Huh. Well, I don't really know what else to say.

...

Ooh, I know! Pencils are extremely dangerous! Yeah, it's true! I mean, you know how they running with scissors is dangerous? That's nothing compared to running with a sharpened pencil. I mean, you could kill someone with those little suckers! Never run around with a pencil, guys. You only make that mistake once. Or twice, in my case. I guess I could tell you about one of those times...

Ok, well, you know how we have all these crazy, epic costumes on So Random? Yeah, sometimes my castmates and I actually take part in helping with making those outfits by brainstorming up the designs for them. And by my castmates I actually mean me and Tawni. But mostly me, since Tawni apparently would much rather admire her reflection than make an costume sketch for a... well, for a sketch. Hehe.

And apparently I'm a fairly good designer. That's what one of the costume designers told me, anyway, when I showed her one of my drawings of a potential costume. Pretty cool, right?

Anyway, I wrote a sketch one time about some really lame superheroes (if you've seen the Loser Force Five sketch, then you know what I'm talking about), and when this little story of mine takes place, I was working on some designs for the said superheroes. I'd already doodled out a possible design for Bed Head, and it looked really good, if I do say so myself.

I was just pondering over what Flatulance should look like when Tawni stormed into the room and yelled, "Sonny! I need to talk to you!"

I beamed at her, not noticing her tone of voice at first. I was just excited that she needed me for something. "Oh, hi, Tawni!" I chirped. "What is it?"

She glared at me. "How dare you tell all those lies about me! You are so going to pay for this!"

I stared at her, baffled. "What are you talking about?"

She shoved a Tween Weekly magazine in my face, snarling, "Care to explain _this_?"

I looked down at the article, which consisted of a bunch of quotes from me, apparently, saying that Tawni was egocentric and a fake, and that she shops at Goodwill. Or something like that. Either way, I'd never said any of those things. I looked up at her, stunned. "But I never said this!"

Tawni actually tore the page of the article in half. I guess she was really ticked off. "Liar! It's in print! It has to be true!"

I stared at her some more. "You do realize they probably just made all that up, right?"

Her frown deepened. "Maybe. But I _know _you said it! I just know it!" She pointed an accusing finger at me. "I knew you were out to get me! Well, this time I'm going to get you!"

I blinked at the finger she was pointing in my face. "...What?" I shook my head rapidly, trying to process the information. I raised my hand in confusion and opened my mouth to say something else, but Tawni screeched, "Don't point that pencil at me!" I quickly lowered my hand, as I was apparently still holding my drawing pencil, then said, "Tawni, I would never say those things about you. Ever. I swear!"

She folded her arms and looked at me frostily. "I don't believe you." Then she glanced down at my lap and frowned some more. "What's that?"

I hurriedly grabbed the scripts that I'd been drawing on and stuffed them in my bag. "Nothing," I said quickly. I'd been keeping my lame superheroes sketch a secret from my castmates, because I wanted to wait until the costumes were fully made before I surprised them with my idea. I was pretty confident that they were going to love the sketch. In reality, they actually didn't love it, which resulted in me somehow ending up in a Mackenzie Falls uniform... but that's a completely different story.

Anyway, as I continued to babble helplessly about how I was completely innocent, she turned and walked over to her mirror, producing a tube of lipstick from nowhere and uncapping it. "I need to apply a new coat of lipstick," she said nonchalantly. "So I'm going to give you a headstart. Once I'm done, I'm going to come after you and kill you. Go. Run." She waved a hand at me.

I briefly sat there gaping at the back of her head, wondering if she was kidding. But even though I'd only been there for a few weeks at the time, I knew Tawni well enough to know that this wasn't something she'd joke about. So I grabbed my bag and my pencil, stood up, and got the heck out of there.

At first I just paced the hallway with no idea what I was going to do. Then I figured I should run first, then try to patch things up with Tawni later. So I ran all the way to the nearest place of refuge: The Prop House. Which is the best place in the whole world, just so you know.

A few minutes later, I skidded into the Prop House, feeling panicky, and right away spotted Nico and Grady sitting on the couch playing video games. "Hey, guys! I need your help!" I gasped, running over to them.

They didn't even look away from the TV. "Sorry, Sonny, but we're really busy - OH! What was that move?" Nico exclaimed, turning to give Grady an awed look. "Teach me that!"

"No way, it's the only secret method of self defense I have!" Grady argued, hugging the controller. "You can't take that too!"

I rolled my eyes and tapped both of their shoulders. "Guys, this is a lot more important than some video game. Tween Weekly published an article where I apparently called Tawni a fake, which I never said, and now she wants to kill me!" I babbled. After stopping to take a quick breath, I added hopefully, "She was just kidding, right?"

Grady chuckled and bumped Nico's shoulder lightly with his fist. "Remember when that happened to us on our first week here?"

Nico snorted with laughter. "Yeah, doing that prank was worth getting chased after with those high heels of hers."

I didn't really know what prank they were talking about, but I didn't ask. I was more concerned about the last thing they said. "High heels?" I repeated anxiously.

"Yeah, she throws them at you," Grady affirmed, nodding. "It's pretty scary actually."

I felt the color drain out of my face. "What am I gonna do?" I said, panicking now. "Tawni's going to come after me and try to kill me and I didn't even say those things and I'm way too young to die now and - !"

"Woah, chillax, Sonny," Nico cut me off mid-babble, raising his eyebrows at me. "Tawni'll probably cool off sooner or later. And if you're still freaked, then just go see Zora."

"Yeah, Zora knows everything about this kind of stuff!" Grady added, bobbing his head in agreement.

I paused for a second to think about that, then nodded. "Got it. Thanks!" I barged out of there as the boys went back to their game and made my way to the nearest vent. If you didn't know, that's one of Zora's favorite spots to hang out. Why? Not really sure. That's just the way Zora rolls, I suppose.

Anyhow, I went to the nearest vent and rapped my knuckles against it. Luckily for me, Zora opened the vent on my second knock. "What do you want?" she asked impatiently.

I didn't waste any time. "Zora, I think Tawni's out to get me!"

Zora rolled her eyes. "What else is new?"

"I'm serious!" I persisted, throwing my hands up in the air. "Grady and Nico said she's going to throw her high heels at me and try to maim me, and I don't know what to do! They said you could help." I gave her a hopeful look. "Can I hide in the vents with you?"

She scoffed. "This is one of the first places Tawni's going to look. No way. But I can say that you'll probably need a weapon."

I blinked at her in confusion. "But Zora, I don't want to hurt Tawni."

Zora pretty much ignored what I'd said. She frowned down at me, then pointed at my hand. "Ah, I see you already have a weapon." I looked down at the pencil I had in my hand. "A... pencil?" I asked, now convinced that Zora was insane.

Zora nodded solemnly. "Tawni has an aversion to lead. But you better get out of here, just in case. Good luck, soldier." Then she shut the vents closed before I had time to protest.

I was about to knock again to ask her to give me better advice, when I suddenly heard Tawni's voice coming from down the hall. It sounded as though she were asking Nico and Grady where I'd gone. My panic returned in full force, and I scampered down the opposite end of the hallway.

I'm not really sure where it was I intended to flee to, but I eventually found myself near the Mackenzie Falls set. I stopped next to that Do Not Admit Wall that Chad has beside the door to the Mack Falls set (my picture's still not on that wall. Every time I ask Chad about it, he changes the subject. Don't you think that's kind of suspicious?) and leaned against the wall, trying to catch my breath and calm down my nerves. In the meantime, I stared blankly at the pencil, wondering what Zora had meant exactly by Tawni having an aversion to lead. Because... well, because it doesn't make any sense. I mean, who has an aversion to lead?

I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear or see Chad walk right past me on his way to the Mackenzie Falls set. I probably wouldn't have noticed him, either, if he hadn't decided that it would be fun to sneak up behind me and say loudly in my ear, "Boo!" Which is exactly what he did.

Naturally, I thought it was Tawni. I shrieked and whirled around, jabbing my pencil in a random direction, which just happened to be where Chad's eye was.

Luckily Chad had quick reflexes, and he managed to duck before I was able to permanently destroy his only sparkly eye.

"What the heck are you doing?" he yelled, glaring at me. "You nearly poked my eye out!"

I glared right back. "Yeah, well... you nearly gave me a heart attack! So I guess we're even!"

He scoffed. "Whatever. What are you doing here, anyway? We _real _actors don't need you Randoms contaminating our set."

Momentarily distracted from my problem with Tawni, I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. "Contaminating your set? Really, Chad? Really?"

"Just answer the question, Munroe," he said, giving me an annoyed look.

That made me remember about my Tawni problem. I glanced around nervously, then said, "Um, I think Tawni's coming after me to kill me."

He shook his head. "No, seriously, tell me what you're doing here."

"I am being serious!" I shouted at him, waving my arms in the air in my exasperation with him. "Apparently I said something about her in Tween Weekly that I actually didn't say, and now she's really mad and she's coming after me with her high heels and she's going to kill me!"

He stared at me, looking bewildered. "All this because of something in Tween Weekly?"

I nodded unhappily, then said sweetly, "So... do you think I could please hide on your set? Just for a while. I promise I'll leave afterwards. Pleeeaaasseee?"

Unfortunately, Chad didn't have time to answer me, because a shrill voice yelled from down the hall, "THERE YOU ARE!" I turned around and saw Tawni, running toward me with a pair of high heels in her hands and a killer glare on her face.

I squeaked in fear and automatically ran behind Chad. "Hide me! I'm not here!"

"No way, I'm not going to stand between you and those heels!" Chad said in a freaked out tone of voice. He pushed me forward and, get this, hid behind me.

Oh, yes. Chad Dylan Cooper sure fears nothing.

Note my sarcasm.

"Tawni, I swear I didn't do it!" I yelped, ducking as one of the high heels flew past my head. Behind me, Chad said indignantly, "That's dangerous!"

Tawni didn't appear to hear either of us and still kept right on coming. Out of desperation, I grabbed my pencil and waved it around in the air in front of me. "Don't come any closer!"

Tawni stopped a few inches away from me and gave me the evil eye. "Get that pencil out of my face!"

I held the pencil in front of me like a sword (or something), trying not to eye the last of Tawni's killer high heels. "Um, Tawni, can't we just talk this over like mature adults?" I said in a high pitched voice.

"If you haven't noticed, we're teenagers, not adults," Tawni said coolly. "And you lied about me and betrayed my trust!"

"I never even had your trust in the first place!"

"Yeah, well, it still counts! Now get that out of my face so I can - !"

"All right, quit it, Randoms," Chad said. He snatched my pencil from my hand and moved between me and Tawni, holding the pencil in front of his face protectively. "Sonny didn't say those things, I did. Now stop trying to kill her."

Tawni and I stared at him incredulously. "You?" I said, frowning.

"But the article said it was Sonny who said those things about me!" Tawni whined, actually looking disappointed.

Chad rolled his eyes. "You really are a dumb blonde. Just because it says that doesn't mean it's actually true."

"Ha!" I said triumphantly from behind Chad.

"Oh, get over yourself, Sonny," Tawni scoffed, folding her arms primly. Then she suddenly looked murderous again. "Wait. So you're the one who said that I shop at Goodwill? At _Goodwill_?" she screeched.

Chad smirked at her. "Why? Does it bother you, Blondie?"

Well, obviously.

Tawni looked like she wanted to fling her high heel at Chad's face despite the fact that he was holding a pencil, but Chad said in a smug voice, "If you hit me, I'll sue."

Tawni glared at him. "You _will _pay for this, Cooper."

"Oh, hey, would you look at that, I actually don't care," Chad said in mock surprise. "Shocking, isn't it?"

Tawni made a noise that sounded like a growl. She briefly glanced at me, then, without even apologizing for trying to kill me, turned and strutted off with her head held high.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, wow, that was close. I guess I should thank you for saving me."

"You should," he said, nodding.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "But you still haven't explained why you pretended to be me in that article."

He shrugged. "I thought it'd stir up some trouble with you Randoms. I mean, I did have to get you back for humiliating me with the musical chair thing two weeks ago." He made a face, and I grinned at him. "I didn't think Blondie would actually try to murder you, though." He chuckled. "That was going a bit to far."

I smiled. "Yeah, it was. Well... thanks."

He smirked. "No problem, Random."

Then he handed me back my pencil, said loudly, "Peace out, sucka!" and ran into his set. I just rolled my eyes and made my way back to Stage 3.

Tawni never mentioned the whole ordeal again, though she still didn't apologize. I guess that's ok, though. I mean, she was just being Tawni.

So, yeah. My life here is pretty crazy, huh? And this event only happened during my first few weeks here! It's gotten even crazier lately. Haha, I still love it anyway, though!

Ok, that's about it. I think it's time for our dress rehearsal now. I'll try to update as soon as possible! Bye!

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><p><strong>Hah, this chapter was so incredibly random. xD I had about three different ideas for this one, but decided to go with this instead.<strong>

**Soo... review please! :D And thanks for reading!**


	14. Colors

**Thank you to all m'reviewers! :D I'm almost up to 160 reviews now. You guys rock. I say that all the time, but I seriously mean it. Love you. **

**It was Demi Lovato's birthday today. C: I really hope she had a great day. I bet she did.**

**Anywho, enjoy some good ol' Sonny wisdom!**

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><p>Hey, guys, it's Sonny.<p>

So my curiosity got the better of me, as usual, and I decided to check out Chad's second topic.

Oh. My. Gosh. First off, Chad doesn't know the first thing about dogs, so just ignore his stupid wisdom.

And second, Chad, how could you tell everyone about my dog's death anniversary? That was personal! And you blabbed about it on the internet! I mean, ok, it's nice to know that you actually did care and weren't just there to mock me, but still! Nobody else in the world needs to read about me sobbing in my dressing room! You're so aggravating. Just so you know, when you get back from Texas I'm going to ignore you. Or get back at you. Or maybe both.

I feel so embarassed now. I hope you guys don't think any less of me because of what he wrote. Really, Chad's an idiot. No offense, Chad, but it's true.

Though apparently Chad admitted to all of you that he had a random desire to kiss me when that happened. Huh. Weird. I'm not entirely sure if that should make me feel flattered or terrified. Probably the latter. Just because.

One more thing before I start on the topic. Do _all_ of Chad's topics have something to do with me? Like, seriously, even though I've just read two of his ten topics, am I the only one who's noticed that I seem to be all he talks about? I dunno, maybe it's just me. I guess I'm kinda sorta guilty of the same thing, though... not that that means anything.

All right, all right, I'll quit boring you now. I'm sorry for ranting, it's just that all that stuff was really bugging me. Wait a sec.

:D

Yay, smiley face! I feel a lot better now. Moving on!

**Sonny Munroe On Colors**

I love all the colors! Especially bright, happy colors, like yellow and blue and green and such. I like colors like black, too, though, which some people think is surprising, considering what my name is, but... well, it's really not that big a deal. Black's an awesome color. Heck, it goes with everything!

The one color I'm not too crazy about would probably be pink. It was never one of my ultimate favorites, but I like it even less ever since I started sharing a dressing room with Tawni. She has so much pink stuff in her closet that sometimes it makes me want to puke. I don't really know why, it just does. I mean, if you could only see that bright, obnoxious pink robe she has, you'll understand what I mean. Don't tell Tawni I said that, though. I'm positive that she really would come and kill me this time if she knew I'd said that about her outfits.

My point is, who doesn't like colors? You can't not like colors. It's impossible. We're surrounded by colors everywhere, and it's all so beautiful and magnificent. I personally feel sorry for dogs, who can only see the world in grayscale. I mean, I guess they're sense of smell makes up for that, but still. If I could only see the world and blacks, grays, and whites, I'd be depressed.

Like, my favorite kind of candy is Skittles, because they're so colorful! Haha, taste the rainbow. I love that saying. And crayons are really colorful, too, and I love them. There are so many crayons with cool colors. Like, there's a macoroni and cheese color. Isn't that epic?

Ooh, talking about crayons gave me a good example story!

One morning after we'd finished doing a dress rehearsal, I decided to go hang out by myself in the Prop House, because it's just so nice and relaxing in there. So I was lying on the couch, playing a game on my cell phone, when the peace and quiet was suddenly interrupted as some person stomped loudly into the Prop House. To be honest, I half expected it to be Chad, since he likes to visit me and my castmates in "Chuckle City" (as he calls it) on a regular basis. Really, he does come by a lot for someone who claims to hate anything to do with comedy.

Anyway, when I looked up from my phone, I was surprised to see that it wasn't Chad but Grady who'd walked in. His face was the picture of utter dejection, and I immediately felt a pang of concern for him. "Hey, Grady," I greeted, lowering my phone. "What's up?"

"Oh. Hi, Sonny," Grady said, sounding sad, which just made me more concerned. You hardly ever see Grady depressed. "I'm just kind of bummed, I guess. Nico's been ignoring me." He gave me a wide eyed look that reminded me of a sad little puppy (what's up with all the dog references I've been making in this topic?).

"Why?" I asked, frowning.

"He's been flirting with some girl all day," Grady said, plopping down on the couch beside me and staring glumly at the ground.

His expression practically broke my heart. "Oh. Well, how about I hang out with you until Nico comes back?" I suggested tentatively. It was probably stupid of me to offer that, considering all the stuff I went through the last time I hung out with Grady (two weeks passed before people finally quit calling me Pat Mahiney and Smelma Pitts. Long story), but I really just hated seeing Grady looking so upset.

The second I said that, Grady visibly perked up slightly. "Really?"

I gave a big, reassuring smile and nodded fiercely. "Of course! We can do anything you want!"

He beamed. "Let's color!"

"Huh?" was my smart reply. I mean, I'd expected him to say "Let's play video games!" or "Let's go to Narnia!". "Let's color"? Not so much.

"Yeah!" he said eagerly. "I have my handy dandy coloring book with me right here!" He whipped out a coloring book on zoo animals seemingly out of nowhere, and I blinked, taken aback. "Oh. Well, ok, then."

Then Grady's face fell again. "I think I forgot my crayons," he said sadly.

Awh. Grady acts like such an adorable little kindergartner sometimes. It can be annoying, but mostly it's just sweet and makes him more loveable than ever.

Before I could say anything in reply, Grady let out a loud gasp. "No, wait, I didn't forget them! Chad stole them!"

I internally groaned at the mention of Chad. I mean, come on. Is one completely Chad-free day too much to ask for? "Why?" I asked patiently.

"Well, remember when Nico and I drew a mustache and a beard and Chad's cardboard cutout? He stole my crayons to get back at us. Now I have no best friend and no crayons!" He sighed and slumped his shoulders. "This is the worst Taquito Tuesday ever."

My eyes widened. "No, Grady, don't be upset! I'll get you back your crayons!"

He blinked at me hopefully. "Really?"

"Of course! That's what friends do," I said cheerfully. "I promise I'll get Chad to give your crayons back. Trust me, he'll give them back once I tell him how much you need them," I added to reassure him further, even though I wasn't really sure if Chad would care. But it made Grady smile again, which was all that mattered. "Thanks, Sonny. You're the best!" Grady gushed.

And... then he fell asleep. Like, I'm not kidding. He just closed his eyes and nodded off. I even waved my hand in front of his face to check. He was seriously out. How ironically random. I stood up and tiptoed out of the room, that way I wouldn't wake him. Once I'd left, I stormed off to Mackenzie Falls, all set to give Chad a piece of my mind.

Once I got to the Mackenzie Falls set, I barged inside and looked around for Chad. I couldn't see him anywhere, so I sort of wandered around a bit, searching for him. Then I noticed all the delicious looking snacks by one of the tables. I lingered next to it, staring at a plate of powdered donuts and contemplating whether or not to eat them. I had just decided that no one would miss one or two donuts when a cold voice said from behind me, "Who let _you _in here?"

I froze, then slowly turned around and faced the person behind me. "Hi," I said a bit guiltily.

Penelope, one of the main Mackenzie Falls cast members, frowned back at me, her hands on her hips. Actually, I don't think Penelope's her real name, but everyone calls her that, and I don't know what her actual name is, so... I'm just going to settle with calling her Penelope. "I asked you a question," she said bluntly.

I fidgeted, feeling awkward under Penelope's gaze. Her expression pretty much showed obvious dislike towards me, which wasn't much of a surprise, since all of the Mackenzie Falls cast give me that look of dislike every time they see me. Before I could stop myself, I said truthfully, "Um, I let myself in. I'm looking for Chad."

That was probably the wrong thing to say. Penelope's frown deepened, and she narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously. "Chad hates you," she pointed out in the same blunt manner.

I didn't get to reply, (which is a good thing, because I wasn't really sure what to say to that) because another voice said from beside me, "Well, you two seem to be getting along well."

I huffed and glared at Chad, who had just appeared and was leaning against the table, grinning at me and Penelope. "There you are, Chad! I've been looking for you!"

"What else is new?" he asked obnoxiously. I responded by picking up a donut and throwing it at him. Unfortunately, my aim was off and it flew past his head. Darn.

"Haha, nice shot, Munroe," he teased. "If your comedy's as good as your aim then it's no wonder your show so unpopular." His comment made Penelope dissolve into a fit of laughter.

I actually almost lost it then, but I managed to keep my head. I took a deep breath, then said, "Look, I just want the crayons you stole from Grady, and then I'll leave, and you can go back to kissing your reflection or whatever it is you do."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Really, Sonny? Really?"

I ignored that and just held out my hand expectantly, giving him a pointed look. He shook his head. "Fine, I'll give them back," he said calmly. "Once you give me back what you stole from me, of course."

I stared at him uncomprehendingly. "Wha?"

"Oh, don't pretend you don't know," he scoffed. "I _know _you took it."

"Took what?" I asked, totally baffled.

"My autographed picture of myself!" he whined.

Ahahaha... what?

"You have a picture of yourself that you autographed... for yourself?" I asked in disbelief. Chad is really something, I'll tell you that.

"Yes, and you stole it!" he exploded at me.

"No, I didn't!" I yelled at him. "I just want Grady's crayons!"

"You won't get them back until my Chadographed picture is returned, thief!" (Wow. Chadographed? Just when you think he can't get any more self-centered, BAM! He does.)

"Well, look who's talking?" I snapped.

"Ok, you two, settle down, I don't want to see you fighting," Penelope cut in. Although the way she said that actually sorta sounded like she _did _want to see us fight. I dunno. It didn't really matter either way, though, since we were both on a roll.

"Give it back!"

"I don't have it!"

"Yes, you do!"

"Argh!" I shouted, clutching my head in complete irritation. "Chad, quit it! I swear, I did not take your stupid autographed picture!"

"Of course you did!" he retorted. "Who else would take it?"

"I don't know, maybe Dakota?" I suggested dryly.

He glared at me. "No, it was you, I _know _it was you! You know, you've already got two autographed pictures of me, and you really don't need a third. So hand it over!"

"I just told you, I haven't got it! And I only have one autographed picture, because I tore the other one in half and trashed it," I added. Which was a lie. Heck, I've wanted to tear that picture apart thousands of times, but I can never bring myself to do it. I don't know why. Still, I knew it would get to him, and I was right.

"WHAT?" he gasped. "ARE YOU INSANE? HOW DARE YOU!"

Then he grabbed a cookie and flung it in my direction. I ducked, and it sailed harmlessly over my head. "You did not just do that," I said in a steely voice.

"Well, you asked for it!" he hissed.

Without answering him, I turned and silently picked up some tiny little cakes. I studied them for a second, then whirled around, yelled, "FOOD FIGHT!" and tossed a cake at Chad's face. This time my aim was perfect, and it smacked him right in his stupid smirking face. Whoo! I grinned and pumped my fist in the air. "Score one for Sonny Munroe!"

Chad didn't move at first, but then he wiped some of the icing off of his face and stared at me with a murderous expression. My triumphant smile faded. Uh oh. Before I had time to flee, a small pie hit me in the chest. Uh, ow. "Hey!" I yelped.

"Ha!" Chad said, grinning.

"Oh, yeah?" I scooped up a cupcake and lobbed it at him. Another direct hit! "What now, Cooper?" I laughed, doing a victory dance. My triumph was short lived, though, because another pie hit me in the face.

I think Penelope gasped in alarm and yelled at us to stop, but we both ignored her. I grabbed a tray of food and launched a few muffins at Chad, then fled off in the direction of the Mackenzie Falls meditation room as he chased after me with a plate of chocolate cake. And so the food fight continued.

At first the food fight was more of a war thing. But after chasing each other around and around the meditation room and then back onto the set, it started to be more fun. So fun that I actually started to crack up and enjoy myself as we threw food all over the place. Even Chad was grinning, looking like a delighted little kid, which, now that I think about it, was actually pretty adorable.

"I'm gonna get you!" he yelled in a playful voice, speeding after me and tossing a few donut hole missiles in my direction. Some hit me in the back of my head. I skidded to a stop next to one of the tables, then grinned as I spied the tray of loganberry smoothies. I grabbed a glass of one, waited until Chad had run close enough, then splashed the contents into Chad's face.

Really, Chad with smoothie all over his face and hair was just too much for me to handle. I burst into laughter, clutching at my sides as tears streamed down my cheeks. I was laughing that hard, yeah. But trust me, it was _hilarious_.

"This is so not funny, Munroe," Chad said, even though his grin totally contradicted his words.

"Y-Yes, it is!" I somehow managed to say through my snorts of laughter.

Chad rolled his eyes, still grinning, then placed his hands in the chocolate fountain. After he did that, he mussed up my hair with his chocolate-y hands. "Now _this _is funny," he declared.

"Hey, no fair!" I giggled. I darted back over to the table and picked up another pie, all set to throw it at him, when Penelope suddenly ran between us and shouted, "Both of you, stop it right now!"

Chad and I obeyed immediately, mostly, I think, because we were surprised by her sudden appearance. I mean, I'm pretty sure that we'd both completely forgotten she was even there.

"Look at this!" Penelope reprimanded us. "You've destroyed the set! When Mike sees this, he's gonna freak!" Mike's the director of Mackenzie Falls, I think. Just so you know.

Chad and I looked sheepishly around the room. There was food all over the walls and the fancy furniture, and cookies strewn across the floor, and chocolate and smoothie juice all over the rug, and... well, my point is, it looked pretty bad. Yikes.

"Look, Sonny didn't take your autographed picture, I did!" Penelope continued angrily. "Now quit throwing our food around and make her leave!"

"You took it?" Chad gasped.

"Told you I didn't have it," I said smugly.

"But... why?" Chad asked, looking confused.

Penelope made a face. "Well, I didn't have one. I mean, you gave an autographed picture to Chloe when she joined the cast, and you've given _her_ two pictures," she snarled, jerking her thumb at me and giving me a look of distaste. "I, on the other hand, have zero. And I wanted one."

I half expected Chad to ask why. I personally sort of wanted to know why she wanted a picture of him so bad, but Chad just shrugged. "Well, you could've just asked. I'll give you one later. Though my Chadograph had better be back in my dressing room when I go in there in five minutes, otherwise someone is going to lose their job," he added seriously.

Penelope paled. "Fine," she said quickly, then rushed off.

I blinked, watching Penelope go, then turned and stared around at the mess we'd made. "Wow," was all I could say.

Chad let out a nervous sounding chuckle. "Yep. I guess I'll have to clean this before Mike gets back. That stinks."

"I'll help," I offered immediately, but Chad shook his head. "No, I'm not gonna let you do that."

"But I want to," I argued. Chad frowned at me. "Nuh uh. I don't need a Random's help. Besides, if you help me, I won't give you back those crayons."

Oh. Right. That's what I'd come there for. I'd forgotten, what with the food fight and all. "Oh, yeah," I said. "Um, can I have them back now?"

He dug around in his pocket, then produced a small pack of crayons, which he handed over to me. "Take them. Sorry for accusing you of stealing my picture, by the way." He gave me an apologetic smile.

I was surprised and also incredibly pleased that he was apologizing, which is something he rarely does, but I just shrugged casually and pretended that it was no big deal. "Sure. Whatever. It doesn't really matter, anyway."

He smirked, and I could tell he saw right through my nonchalant act. "Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that." He paused, then added, "This was sort of fun, by the way."

I smiled, suddenly feeling oddly shy. "Um. Yeah, it was." I looked up into those blue eyes of his and felt my face burning. Ah, darn it. I quickly turned around, hoping he hadn't noticed, and said, "Ok, bye!" Then I ran off before he could see how red my face was.

So then I went back to the Prop House, where Grady was still snuggled up on the couch. I woke him up, and when he saw the crayon pack he yelled with delight and hugged me. After that we spent the next few hours coloring lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) and competing to see who could come up with the best joke. I didn't tell him what I went through to get his crayons, and he didn't ask, thank goodness.

Oh, and Grady and Nico are still buddies, don't worry. Nico came trudging in later on and told us that he'd just been rejected by that girl he was flirting with, then sat down by Grady and joined in our joke war. Grady acted sympathetic about Nico's failed attempt at a relationship, but I could tell he was really happy to have his best friend back.

All's well that ends well!

Ah, speaking of Nico and Grady, Tawni just walked in and told me that those two are having some problems in their dressing room and I have to go help them. Hopefully this won't take long. I'll be back soon, guys! But until then, see ya! :D

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><p><strong>Sonny, why are your topics so random? xD<strong>

**I was sort of torn between whether to do a topic on colors or food fights, so in the end I decided to just mix them both together and somehow came up with this. Haha, I had fun writing it. C:**

**As always, thanks to everyone who's been reading, and those who constantly review. You guys never fail to make my day with your awesome feedback. ^^ **

**Reviews would be great!**

**Catch ya later! ;D**

**~Ginger**


	15. Pretty Pretty Pretty

**What's up, guys? :D I don't really have much to tell you today, except, as usual, thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorited and whatnot! Andddd... enjoy the new dose of wisdom! ;)**

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><p>AHA!<p>

I knew Sonny was up to something weird! I had a suspicion that whatever she was doing had something to do with Chad, since she kept running to this little cow laptop of hers every chance she got. But still, a wisdom center? _This _is what she's been working on? Hah! That's a laugh.

Trust me, there's only one person in this whole entire studio who's truly smarticle. And that would be me!

I'm extremely smart. And pretty! As you people will soon learn, I'm always something and pretty! Just another one of the amazing qualities of _moi _(and I know French, too, see?)

Oh, I haven't even introduced myself. Well, hello America! I am the fantabulous Tawni Hart, the star of So Random! (all those other people you see on my show are just extras)

What am I doing here, you ask? Well, Sonny apparently forgot to log out of this little wisdom center, so I just came over to see if what she's writing has been about me. And it _hasn't. _Well, I come up occassionally, I've noticed, but no one ever thought to discuss my prettiness! I am appalled and offended.

So, until Sonny gets back (which will be a while, because Nico and Grady are being there usual doofus selves again), I think I'll just take over for a bit. I can tell that you people are in serious need of some Tawni wisdom! Without further ado...

**Tawni Hart On The Prettiness Of Herself (And The Stupidness Of Sonny And Chad)**

Let's start off with the most important thing: ME! As you all know from various pictures of me in Tween Weekly and other magazines, I'm the prettiest human being to ever walk the earth! Yes, it's true. Trust me, I don't lie about things like this. With my perfect blonde hair, my flawless skin, and my charming personality, I am just... amazing. Breathtaking. Awe-inspiring. In fact, there are hardly any words to describe my prettiness.

I even wrote a poem about my prettiness! Look:

_I am so pretty_

_Prettier than a kitty_

_I'm such a pretty little star_

_And all you people can only admire from afar_

_Because you'll never be as pretty as me! HA!_

Teehee! Isn't it amazing?

I also wrote a haiku once, something about... friendship and boats, I think? Ugh. I was delirious at the time, though, so I trashed the haiku. It was probably terrible, anyway. It definitely couldn't be as amazing as that poem about meee!

Oh, you people are such great listeners. Sonny's a good listener, too, I guess, but she blabbers to much. You wonderful people don't talk at all! I should open a wisdom center of my own. Heehee, just watch it become more popular than Chad's wisdom center.

Speaking of those two...

They're idiots.

Really. I mean, do they honestly believe that we can't see what's going on between them?

Well... Grady and Nico probably can't see it, because they're too involved in those little games they play on the TV... and Zora may be a (crazy) genius, but she's still only eleven. That girl has no clue about the ways of romance. I bet she couldn't even flirt to save her life!

But _I've _noticed. I see those little flirt fights of theirs. And I also see the way they look at each other occasionally. Sonny's annoying smile is always hugest when Chad comes by the Prop House. There's more proof right there! Before Sonny came to Condor Studios with her cheesy cheddar dust, Chad never stepped foot in So Random. Ever. Now he comes by every single day, just to say 'Good' and 'Fine' and whatever with Sonny.

Really, do they think I'm dumb or something? Puh-lease! Those two may say that they know people, but I know people, too. And one thing I know is that they like each other. Oh, sure, they deny it, but I can tell. Besides, it was pretty obvious after Chad got jealous over Sonny going out with James the Jerk, and when they went out on a fake date, and blahblahblah.

Not that I'm happy about them liking each other. Definitely not! It's a complete, total betrayal to So Random, and Sonny knows that. I guess I have to give her props for not making her feelings so obvious (unlike Chad), but even so. It's disgusting to watch those two. Well, ok, maybe if it weren't for the feud they'd be sort of cute... but there's a feud, so that makes them disgusting. Period.

They even went out a real date once, too. Yes, they did! They'll deny it every time you ask, but it's true, because I saw it with my own eyes. Look, I'll even tell you about it, since I can tell you're probably dying to know the details.

I was sitting by my makeup table in my dressing room one afternoon, putting on my special Cocoa Moco Cocoa lipstick, when I heard the door open behind me, and Sonny's voice chirped cheerfully, "Hi, Tawn!"

I rolled my eyes and paused in the applying of my lipstick. "Sonny, take your perkiness somewhere else. I'm busy."

Naturally, she didn't listen to me (shame on her), just sighed and flopped onto the sofa in the middle of the room. Then she started to hum some random tune. I closed my eyes, counting to three to try and keep my patience. Then I turned around in my revolving chair and gave her a sweet smile. "I'm going to say this as nicely as I can. GO. AWAY." I glared at her. "I can't apply my lipstick with you humming like that!"

She gave me a bright smile, looking happier than usual. "Aw, Tawni, you're such a party pooper."

I let out a 'hmph', then turned back to my mirror, all set to focus my attention back on my lipstick. Then I stopped and slowly revolved around to face her again. "Wait. You sighed. And now you're humming," I said. Then my eyes widened as a thought hit me. "Ooh, who's this guy you're going out with?"

Sonny's smile disappeared, and she quit humming. "What? I'm not going out with anyone," she protested. I detected the obvious lie immediately and shook my head. "Honey, don't lie to me." I pointed my perfectly manicured finger at her. "You are going on a date tonight! So who's this guy? Do I know him? Is he cute?"

Her eyes were as wide as plates as I peppered her with questions, until finally she shook her head quickly and said, "Tawni, you've got it all wrong! I'm not going on a date with Chad, I'm just - "

"Whoa, whoa, wait." I stared at her. "Chad? As in Cooper?"

She fidgeted, apparently realizing that she'd made a mistake with that little slip of the tongue. "Um... no?"

I gave her my best glare, attempting to act shocked and angry, even though I wasn't really that surprised. "Sonny! How dare you! You know fraternizing and going on dates with the enemy is against our code!"

She shook her head again. "No, no, Tawni, you don't understand! I'm not going on a date with him!"

"But you are going somewhere with him, right?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yes."

"Where?"

She looked uncomfortable. "Er, Lookout Mountain."

"Lookout Mountain?" I practically screeched. "That's a date place! You liar!"

"Please listen to me!" she begged. Her expression looked so pleading that I stopped yelling at her, though I continued giving her an evil eye for good measure. She waited for a second, then plunged into an explanation. "You know how we've been trying to get Marshall and Ms. Bitterman to stop dating, right? Well, I went to Chad for help, and he said he'd help me break them up." She gave me a hopeful smile, apparently looking to see if I was satisfied with her little explanation.

I wasn't. "Get to the part where Lookout Mountain comes into the picture," I said curtly, and her smile faded again. "Well, he said he'd only help me if I went with him there. So... yeah. That's it, though, I swear!"

I studied her. She seemed to be telling the truth. Or half of it. Knowing her, I had a feeling she would refuse to tell me anything besides that, no matter how much I pressed her. I sniffed. "Well, fine. Though Ms. Bitterman and Marshall had better be broken up by the time your little date is over."

"It's not a date!"

"You keep telling yourself that, Sonny," I said blithely, returning my attention to my reflection. I heard Sonny groan in exasperation behind me, and then she stomped out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts and my lipstick. _Finally._

As I put on another layer of Cocoa Moco Cocoa, I thought over what Sonny had said. It was definitely a date, no matter how much she denied it. I had to know how it went, and exactly what was said and done on their date, so I could have real proof that there was something going on between them. And since I doubted Sonny would tell me anything about their date afterwards, I was going to have to somehow see it for myself. I stared at my reflection and said aloud, "Well, it seems that it's time for you to take matters into your own hands, my pretty friend."

Which is exactly what I did.

As soon as I was done prettying myself up, I headed over to Mackenzie Falls. I made sure Chad wasn't around before searching for his personal assistant, some nerd samed Bert or Bart or Barf or something. Whatever. Anyway, when I found him, I managed to wheedle out of him the time Chad would pick Sonny up from her apartment, and even which of his many convertibles he would be taking. One of my many talents is getting people to tell me things, you see. As I said before, I am amazing.

I'll spare you the details of the long wait before the time of the date, and how I went all secret agent-like and snuck into Chad's car without him noticing. The simple point is, I hid in the backseat of his convertible, which is where I remained for pretty much the next hour. I was very cramped in there. It was worth it, though. Sort of.

Anywho, once I'd awkwardly settled down on the floor of his convertible, that way he wouldn't notice my presence (I have a very strong presence, if you must know), Chad came inside the car and plopped himself in the driver's seat. Even on the floor I could hear him humming, and I rolled my eyes. Apparently even guys hum when they're about go on a date. Figures.

The drive was fairly silent until we arrived at Sonny's apartment. Then Chad got out of the convertible and walked off. I presume he went inside the apartment to get Sonny. Where else would he have gone? I was tempted to poke my head up and look outside, but I resisted the temptation. Good thing, too, because then Chad came back, this time with Little Miss Sunshine And Flowers herself.

I heard Sonny ask eagerly from the front seat, "So what's the plan? How will you break up Marshall and Bitterman?"

"Nuh uh, I'm not telling you," came Chad's voice. I could tell he was smirking. Ugh. What I'd ever seen in him when I was seven, I'll never figure out. Too bad Sonny had to go and make the mistake of falling for him. Sometimes I pity her. Most of the time I don't really care, of course, but sometimes.

"Aw, Chad, I want to know!" she whined.

"Sorry, Munroe, but Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't reveal his secrets."

This time I couldn't resist poking my head slightly over the top of the back seat, so I could see as well as hear what was going on. Sonny was pouting, and Chad was just grinning at her. I rolled my eyes again. Those two are nauseatingly cute together. Let's hope they never actually start to date. Once that happens, I will definitely not be cool with that.

"Please?" Sonny asked.

"No. Can we change the subject?" He started to drive.

Sonny sighed and rested her head against the back of her seat. "Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

See what I mean? They're so flirting when they do that.

There was a long silence for a while as Chad drove along, and I started to get bored really quickly. But then Chad apparently saw his reflection in the rearview mirror, because he suddenly said loudly, "Oh, look at that handsome guy! He's gorgeous. Man, I'd give anything to be that guy. Oh, wait. I _am _that guy. Dilemma solved." Then I think he winked at his reflection.

Wow. Sonny was right, we are a bit alike. Of course, I'm a thousand times more amazing than he is, but still.

"Chad," Sonny said, sounding a bit nervous, though she looked exasperated at the same time. "Quit looking at yourself and keep an eye on the road."

"Sonny, you're such a worry wart. What do you think I'm gonna do, run over an old lady?"

"No, but you might run over a dog," she retorted, suddenly grinning hugely. He gave her a sour look. "Will you ever get over that?"

I really had no idea what they meant by this, but it wasn't a main concern of mine. What _was _a main concern was that Sonny suddenly stretched out her arms and nearly whacked me in the face. Luckily, I managed to duck down again before her hand could slap me. "Ah, this fresh air feels so nice!" she said, laughing.

"Of course it does. The air I breathe always feels nice," Chad said snobbily.

"Lalala, I can't hear you," Sonny sang, raising her hands in the air and yelling, "WHEEE!"

"You're such a dork, Sonny," Chad muttered. I heartily agreed with him.

Adding to her dorkiness, Sonny suddenly chirped, "Let's play I Spy!"

"No, thank you."

"But it's fun!"

"I'm driving, if you hadn't noticed."

"But I'm kinda bored now!"

"Deal with it," Chad countered, an annoyed expression on his face. I'd like to point out that he didn't sound annoyed, though. In fact, he sounded like he was enjoying himself.

Sonny shrugged, then grinned. "Ooh, I spy with my little eye something really big and mountain-y!"

He sighed and didn't answer, and she poked him. "Come on, Chad," she said, prodding him some more.

"Ugh. Fine. Lookout Mountain."

She gasped loudly. "How'd you know?"

"It probably had something to do with that fact that you actually said the word 'mountain-y'."

I actually giggled quietly at both of their stupidness, then slapped my hand over my mouth when I realized what I'd just done. I hoped they wouldn't notice. Luckily, Chad didn't, but Sonny did. She sat up straight and glanced around. I ducked down again before she could see me. "Chad, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" he asked, sounding disinterested.

"That noise. It sounded like someone laughing."

"It was probably Bob, your imaginary friend," he deadpanned.

"I'm serious," Sonny went on, her eyes wide. "Is there someone else in here?"

I held my breath anxiously, then let it out when Chad scoffed and said, "We're the only ones in here. Just you and me. You didn't watch another scary movie again, did you? Because you're acting paranoid."

"I haven't watched any since you watched the last one with me," she said, frowning.

Ooh. So apparently they've nearly run over a dog together, and Chad watched a scary movie with her? Well, heck. What else have they been doing together? Lemme guess, they were probably sitting in a tree, right? K-I-S-S-I-N-G? I wouldn't be surprised by that, either.

There was another long pause. Then Chad asked, "So why do you want to break up Marshall and Bitterman, anyway?"

"Eh. Well, it's kind of a long story," Sonny said awkwardly.

"I'm listening."

"Well, I sort of hooked Ms. Bitterman and Marshall up, because they were really cute together and obviously needed a special someone in their lives," Sonny started to say. "But it kind of didn't work out the way I wanted it to."

"How so?" Chad sounded confused.

"Let's put it this way: I have to eat worms on the show."

Chad scoffed. "Oh, come on, eating gummy worms isn't _that _bad."

"They're not gummy," she corrected him.

"Oh. Ew," Chad said, sounding grossed out.

"Yeah, ew. Ms. Bitterman's destroying the random in So Random. So as much as I don't want to, I have to do this." I peered over the seat again and saw Sonny chew her lip, looking anxious.

"You should really learn to mind your own business, Sonny," Chad pointed out. Sonny sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"Hey, I said you should. That doesn't mean you have to." He gave her a sideways look. "Your meddling is what makes you you. It's one of the things I-people love about you," he said quickly. Sonny didn't notice his little mess up, but I did. Really, that was all the proof I needed. As usual, I'd been right. He liked her.

I'd been lost in thought, so I didn't hear how Sonny replied, and when I bothered to listen again they were both being quiet. Then Chad finally cleared his throat and said, "You look really nice, by the way."

"Oh." Sonny sounded a bit surprised, if not pleased. "Um. Thank you. You, uh, look nice, too."

I mentally gagged at the nauseating cuteness.

There was more silence, and then suddenly the car stopped, and I heard Sonny say, "Wow, Chad. Lookout Mountain is... beautiful. Romantic." I mentally gagged again. "All the stars are so bright."

Chad sighed and then said admiringly, "Yes, I am." There was a very short pause, during which I expect Sonny gave him a look of disbelief, then, "Oh, you mean the stars up there. Yeah, they're a'ight. But they don't have their own show."

Oh, jeez. Then Sonny started to crack up, laughing and snorting (something I would _so _never do). I rolled my eyes again for about the fifth time that day, then let out a silent yawn. Gosh, it was awfully late. Well, not that late, but I felt awfully tired from sitting in that cramped position for so long, and I was quickly getting bored of listening to those two being all cutesy.

So I fell asleep.

I know, I know. Shame on myself, right? But don't blame me! I couldn't even keep my eyes open anymore.

Eventually I did wake up and momentarily forgot where I was. Chad looked pretty shocked to see me sitting behind him in the backseat. As for Sonny, I have no clue where she went. And then I found a new purse on my lap! What a lucky day!

Then Nico and Grady suddenly appeared out of nowhere and jumped into the car, yelling at Chad to drive off, which he did without question. I got a glimpse of Ms. Bitterman standing with a log raised threateningly over her head, and Sonny and Marshall watching us drive away with stunned expressions on their faces.

Yes, it was a very eventful night. The best event, obviously, was that I got a free new purse! Yes!

And, of course, I got complete proof that Sonny and Chad do indeed like each other, and -

...

Oh, darn. I think Sonny's coming back. I can hear her voice in the hallway. And I was just getting started!

Well, people, it seems I have to cut this thing short. Goodbye, America! And don't forget to watch my pretty self on TV!

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><p><strong>I apologize. I know you were all expecting something from Sonny. But... I seriously just could not resist. xD <strong>

**This will probably be Tawni's only appearance, by the way. I just wanted to see what it was like writing from her point of view.**

**Thank you for reading! Review please? Reviews make my day. :3**


	16. Pineapples

**Hey again, guys! :D Here's another update for ya. Sorry for the shortness and the lack of originality, I couldn't think of something better. Buttt... I hope you like it anyhow. I'm almost positive that you will. c:**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Oh. My. Gosh.<p>

Tawni. What the... I don't even...

What were you _thinking?_

Great. Thank you so much. Now Chad's going to kill me for letting you on here. I hope you're happy!

Oh, wait. Knowing you, you probably are happy about that...

Um. Guys, just ignore everything that Tawni wrote on that last topic, ok? Because none of it is true. Ok, well, some of it is true, but all of Tawni's opinions about me and Chad liking each other? Not true at all. Pfft! As if! Tawni's too self absorbed to be able to notice stuff like that, therefore everything she said is false. No offence, Tawn.

Really, I walked back into my dressing room yesterday to see Tawni fiddling with my laptop, and I was like, "Uh... what're you doing?"

And she looked flustered and said, "Oh, well, I'm playing a game on your laptop. It's called, er ... pinbowl."

"You mean pinball?" I asked.

"Yeah, that. Oh, would you look at that, it's time to go reapply my Cocoa Moco Cocoa!" Then she scampered off, leaving me behind to wonder if she was lying or not. Finally, I decided to believe her and went about the rest of my day as usual. But this morning something made me check this wisdom center thing, and I found _that_. I tried to delete it, but apparently you're unable to delete topic posts on this thing.

What kind of dumb blog is this that you can't even delete posts?

Oy vey.

Well, Chad'll be ticked off when he sees this. But you know what, Tawni? If I go down, you're coming with me!

Pfft. Anyway, before I leave for the studio (we're going to perform this new sketch I wrote, Legally Blind. It's about a blind blonde girl who goes to law school, and it's hilarious!), I'll quickly write a new topic. Then I'll write one last one when I get back home. Oh, and Chad will return from Texas in about 18 hours. Yay...

**Sonny Munroe On Pineapples**

Pineapples. Yep. I wanted to do a topic on something really random, and that's the randomest thing I could think of, so...

I actually really like pineapples! I think apples are better, but pineapples are pretty good tasting. And they make really awesome hats! I wish they weren't so spiky, though. I mean, their spikyness makes them unique, but sometimes when I pick them up I forget about those sharp edges, and I end up getting my hands badly poked. And it hurts, too.

Wow. I just realized how pathetic I sound by saying that.

Oh, well!

Also, I especially like pineapples on pizza! It's delicious! To be honest, I don't see how anyone couldn't like pineapples on pizza. My castmates certainly don't, and they think my love of pineapple pizza is weird. Well, you know what? Zora's love of spinach pizza is weird. So there.

Ooh, that reminds me of something I could use as an example story!

You may or may not know that my castmates and I go out for pizza after every show we put on. If you know this, good. If you don't, well... we do.

So on one pizza night about a month ago, my castmates happened to be really annoyed with me, for some reason. I won't tell you what that reason is, because I'm sort of embarassed about it, to be honest... but let's just say that I kind of, er, meddled a bit (though in my defense, I thought I was helping, not meddling), and things didn't turn out the way I planned. So everyone was pretty much giving me the cold shoulder.

I was moping in my dressing room over the fact that no one was talking to me when suddenly Tawni, Nico, and Grady walked in without warning. "It's pizza night tonight," Nico informed me randomly.

I stared at them, trying to tell if they'd forgiven me or not. From the cold expressions on their faces, it was obvious they hadn't. "Um, I know."

"You're in charge of the coupons," Tawni said bluntly.

"This I know, too," I pointed out.

"We're very mad at you," Grady continued.

"Ok, are you guys just going to keep telling me things I already know?" I asked, exasperated.

I heard the vents slide open behind me, and Zora's voice said, "What those geniuses mean to say is that we're not taking you with us for pizza night, so we want the coupons."

"And we will take them by force if necessary!" Grady shouted dramatically, then grabbed a nearby lampshade that was sitting randomly on the table, brandished it at me, and promptly dropped it on his foot. Real smooth, Grady.

"Wait," I said slowly, not really noticing Grady hopping around on one foot in pain. "You're not letting me come with you to pizza night?"

"No," Tawni said curtly.

"But - " I started to say.

"It's payback!" Zora's voice said from right behind me, and I yelped and whirled around to face Zora, who had somehow gotten down from the vents and came up behind me without me noticing. I honestly have no idea how she does that. "This is what you get, meddler!"

"I was trying to help," I said miserably.

"Yeah, well, it didn't help. We ended up looking like losers _on camera_," Tawni huffed, folding her arms primly across her chest and glaring at me. "And whose fault is that?"

"Yours!" Nico and Grady said together.

I gazed at my castmates, feeling hurt. Like I said, I'm not going to tell you what it is that I did, but I really had been trying to help everyone. I'd had good intentions, honest, and even though it hadn't worked out, I still couldn't believe my castmates were actually doing this to me. You'd think they'd at least appreciate what I'd tried to do for them, but nooooo.

"You know what? Fine. Take them." I headed over to my dresser drawer, pulled out a handful of coupons, and tossed it at Tawni's head. Unfortunately, I sort of forgot that paper can't actually bodily harm a person, so they all fluttered harmlessly to the ground before they could even hit her. Darn. "I don't even want to go to pizza night anyway." Ha, yeah, right. That was a total lie. I love pizza night.

"Great," Tawni said, smiling at me. "Now was that so hard?"

"Yeah, kind of," I mumbled.

"Pizza!" Grady yelled, scooping up some coupons and hugging them. "Let's go eat!"

"Yeah. And this time we won't have to get pineapples on our pizza," Nico added, frowning at me.

"Pineapples on pizza are good," I said defensively.

"Not they're not," everyone else said together. Then they all laughed and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind them.

I hung my head, dropped down onto the sofa, and sighed. Everyone hated me. Again. It's funny how often people hate me just because of my little mess ups.

Well, obviously there was no point in staying at the studio any longer, so I picked up my bag and trudged dejectedly out into the hallway.

As I was walking and replaying that whole scene in my head, I happened to bump into someone along the way. I mean, literally. I wasn't really looking, so I just slammed into this person. "Ah, I'm so sorry," I apologized, ducking my head and circling around the person.

"Sonny, what're you doing here?" said the person, sounding stunned. I froze and turned around to face the person, who I immediately recognized now that I was actually looking at him.

Do I really need to tell you who it was? No, no I don't.

"I happen to work here. What're _you_ doing here, Chad?" I asked accusingly, pushing aside my feelings of misery for the moment and frowning at him.

"Psh. What makes you think I'm doing something here? For all you know, I could just be passing through on the way to my car," he retorted.

I studied him. "You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Not."

"Are."

"Not."

"Are."

"Not."

"...Not."

"Are."

"HA!" I pointed triumphantly at him, and he made a face. "Ok, fine. I came here to pull a prank on Cloudy and Rainy. Happy?" Actually, he came there to sneak into our Prop House and measure it because he wanted to make it his new meditation room, but I didn't figure that out until about a week later. "I knew you Randoms were going out for pizza, so I figured this would be the perfect opportunity," he scoffed. Then he blinked at me. "Speaking of which, how come you aren't with them?"

"Um. Well, I tried to help everyone, messed everything up, and now my castmates hate me and ditched me in my dressing room while they went out for pizza," I said in a fake bright voice.

He shook his head. "See, there's another difference between me and you comedians. Something like that would _never _happen to me. I'm too popular to be ditched."

I rolled my eyes. "This isn't funny Chad." Then I sighed and said sadly, "I didn't think they'd take it this badly, though, not enough to leave me out of pizza night."

Unexpectedly, Chad said sharply, "Stop it."

I stared at him, taken aback by his tone. "Stop what?"

"Being depressed. I don't like it." He frowned at me, as though I was performing some sort of unthinkable crime by being sad.

I'm pretty sure I looked totally confused. "I'm sorry for being depressed?" I said uncertainly.

"What'll it take to make you smiley again?" he asked abruptly.

What the heck? He hates my smile. He said so in his first topic on this stupid little wisdom center. Not to mention this was just wayyy out of character for him. I reached over to feel his forehead. "Chad, are you ok? Do you need a doctor?" I said, feeling a tad bit worried. "I can call 911 if you want."

He glared at me, and I awkwardly removed my hand from his head. "Or not..."

"Seriously, Sonny, just tell me."

I eyed him suspiciously, half convinced he was playing a trick on me. "Well..." I said slowly. "I'd really like it if my friends didn't hate me, and if I could have a pizza night. But Chad, what - ?"

He interrupted me. "Come on, let's go." He grabbed my arm and dragged me off, with me yelping, "Hey! What? What're you doing? Where're we going? Chad Dylan Cooper, you tell me what you're doing right _now_! Or I'll... I'll hit you!"

He scoffed. "Yeah, right, you couldn't harm a fly." Psh. That's what he thinks.

Anyway, other than that he basically ignored my endless babbling and tugged me through the studio, all the way to Stage 2. When we got inside the Mackenzie Falls stage area, I jerked away from him and said sarcastically, "What, are you trying to make me smile by _kidnapping_ me? Gee, Chad, you're so sweet. You should get an award for nicest person of the year."

He shot me an annoyed look. "Would you please shut up?"

"Your kind comments are _so_ making me cheerful."

"You're even more annoying when you're not happy," he muttered in response, then gestured at me with his hands. "Just stay here, please. And don't touch anything." With that he pulled out his cell phone and walked off into the Mack Falls meditation room.

I was fairly ticked off with him, since he wouldn't tell me what he was doing, so just to spite him I went around and touched every single thing I could lay my hands on. "Take that, Cooper," I mumbled as I rubbed my hands all over the stage backdrop.

"You done?" came his steely voice from behind me, and I jumped practically a foot into the air and whirled around. "Um... I didn't do anything," I said lamely.

"Sure." He snapped his cellphone shut and then smirked at me. "Well, Munroe, Christmas is coming early for you."

"But.. it's still July," I said blankly.

He rolled his eyes. "Hence the word 'early'."

"Chad, what's going on?" I asked nervously, starting to freak out over why he wouldn't tell me what he was doing. Can you blame me? Anytime Chad does something that involves me, it usually doesn't end well.

He held up his hand. "Sonny, relax. I'm doing this for your well being."

"Doing what?" I practically screeched.

Just then, someone knocked on the door to the set, and Chad smiled. "Oh, good, it's here."

I felt my face pale. "What? What's here? Oh my gosh, Chad, did you order a bomb? You did, didn't you?"

"Good God, Sonny, you have a strange imagination," Chad said, sounding bewildered. Shaking his head, he crossed over to the other side of the room, opened the door, and said something I couldn't hear to someone I couldn't see.

As I was looking for an escape route, Chad closed the door and then turned around, holding a square box in his hand. "Huzzah, it's pizza!" he said cheerfully, waving the box around in the air.

"You hate pizza," I pointed out. "Chad, is this some kind of joke? Because it's not funny."

"I would never try to be funny. Funny is for losers. Sonny, quit being so paranoid." He lifted the lid of the box and held it up for me to see. "See? Pizza. No bombs."

I was so, so confused. Which is what I told him a second later. "I have no idea what's going on," I said blankly.

"You wanted pizza, I got you pizza," he said, shrugging. "It's really not that hard to figure out. See, now you can have your pizza night."

I walked over to him, no longer feeling confused or freaked out, just curious. "I don't understand, Chad. Why'd you do this?"

He met my gaze calmly. "I don't like seeing you sad."

"Oh. Well," was all I could say. Because what in the world was I supposed to say to that? Was I supposed to be grateful or something? His niceness was weirding me out, and I still wasn't entirely convinced that this wasn't some trick he'd staged to mess with my feelings.

"Go on. Eat." He held out the box to me.

I looked down at the pizza, and my eyes widened. "Pineapples? How'd you know I like pineapples on my pizza?" I choked out.

He smirked. "I did my research when you came to So Random. I have to learn about the competition, don't I?"

I'm not sure why, but I think that's when I realized that for once he'd actually done something nice just to be nice. I was touched. "Thanks, Chad," I said shyly. "I'm, er, sorry about freaking out on you earlier."

"Ah, it's no biggie."

I smiled, and his smirk widened. "There's that annoying smile I was waiting for! So are you going to stop being depressed now?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, why not." I picked up a slice of pizza and took a bite, relaxing completely once the delicious taste reached my tastebuds. "Though my friends still hate me," I pointed out after a few seconds.

Chad sat down on a nearby chair, and I plopped down beside him, still munching on my pizza slice. "Oh, please, Sonny, no one could hate you." When I raised an eyebrow at him, he added quickly, "Well, not completely, anyway. Trust me, the Randoms are going to forget all about what you did really quickly."

"You think?" I asked hopefully.

"I don't think, I know." He grinned and popped his collar. "Chad Dylan Cooper knows everything."

I laughed. "Sure he does. So does Chad Dylan Cooper want some pizza?"

He made a face. "Ew, no, pizza is for talentless losers like you."

"Nuh uh!"

"Don't deny the truth, Munroe!"

So I spent the rest of my time there attempting to get Chad to eat some pizza, while at the same time stuffing my own face. I bet I looked so very attractive. Probably not. I didn't really care, though. Nah, what I cared about was the fact that Chad actually tried to cheer me up like that. Isn't that sweet?

Of course, then he went and ruined it by stealing our Prop House... oh, but then he made it all better with that autograph. Eh. That's a different story.

On the bright side, Chad was right about my castmates forgiving me. When I went back to the studio the next day, they told me that they'd actually sort of missed me at pizza night, and that they'd talked it over and decided they were sorry for giving me the cold shoulder. They didn't actually completely forgive me until I went out and bought them all cookies, though.

Either way, they forgave me, and it was all better. Yay!

Ok, so it wasn't that great a topic, but I'm in a bit of a hurry, because I have to get to the studio soon so we can do the Legally Blind sketch (and so I can possibly strangle Tawni for saying I like Chad). I've wasted enough time on this as it is. But I'll write again later when I come back, and my last topic for the time being will be a lot better, I promise!

Bye!

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><p><strong>It'd be sweet if Chad actually did something like this for her. :'3 <strong>

**Anywho, review please with your feedback! I'd be so happy if you did. ^^ Peace out, suckas!**

**~Ginger**


	17. The Kiss Cam

**What? 210 reviews? **

**Oh my God. ;_; I don't know what to say. How did this happen so fast? I don't even know what to say, it's just... wow.**

**I'm so incredibly happy right now. THANK YOU.**

**Enjoy. :'D**

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><p>Hey, guys! Did you watch So Random? The sketch was awesome, huh? Haha, I had so much fun today!<p>

Though I'm a tiny bit sad, because this is my last topic on here for the time being. Even though the idea of a wisdom center is really dumb, I think I'm going to miss this. Maybe I can convince Chad to let me help him out again later on?

Hmm... that might be kind of pointless, though. After the whole thing with Tawni, I doubt he's going to be very enthusiastic about having me manage this thing again. Sigh. Oh, well.

Since this is my last one, I'm going to attempt to make this topic as super duperly awesometastic as I possibly can (key word being attempt)!

**Sonny Munroe On The Kiss Cam**

If Chad isn't already going to kill me for all the other stuff I wrote on here (and the whole Tawni thing), he's definitely going to murder me once he sees this. But, you know, he never actually told me that I couldn't talk about the Kiss Cam... he might've implied it, but he didn't come right out and say it.

So, with that logic, technically I should be safe. Maybe. Possibly. Hopefully.

Um... well, a lot of people have been asking me to talk about this, for some reason. I guess you all saw that article in Tween Weekly a few months ago, huh? As I keep telling everyone (*coughchaddylancoopercough*), _he was not my boyfriend. _It was just the Kiss Cam! Ok?

All right, I'm sure everyone knows what the Kiss Cam is. If you don't know what it is, I'm sure you can guess based on the name. Come on. Kiss. Cam. It's pretty obvious.

My experience with the Kiss Cam was totally unplanned and and unintentional, I swear. I didn't mean for it to happen! It just... happened! All these people were yelling and throwing popcorn and chips and stuff, and it was sort of freaking me out so I gave them what they wanted and kissed him! But Hayden was just a friend! Got it? Ok.

Yeah, so after that whole Kiss Cam thing, there was a bit of drama over at my apartment. See, it was actually Tawni that liked Hayden, so to make up for kissing her crush, I got her a date with him, and she had it over at my apartment, because her place wasn't exactly what you'd call... er, hospitable. Sooo... it's kind of a long-ish story, but in the end Tawni figured she was better off with movie stars, hotel heirs, and princes, and Chad broke down my door, and everyone except me threw up because of bad sandwiches (Tawni puked on my new Blarmie, which was really depressing).

...that probably didn't make much sense to you guys. Well, I'm too lazy to go into detail about it. And anyway, I think I probably talked a tiny bit about it in one of my past interviews, so...

Ooh, wait a sec! There was that one thing that happened afterwards that no one really knows about! Hmm... but Chad might not want me to tell you guys about this...

Pfft. Too bad, Chad, I'm telling them anyway.

Let's see... I'll start off from when Hayden left my apartment after the failed date, then.

As Hayden ran out the door (without a word to any of us, I might add. Kind of rude, but I guess he was still mad that Tawni lied to him about the needlepointing...), Tawni lifted her head from my Blarmie and stared at me blearily. "Ugh. Did someone just leave?"

Ignoring her question, I wailed, "You killed my Blarmie! The blanket with arms!"

Tawni made a face. "Ew. Ewewew." She tossed my ruined Blarmie onto the floor, then got up and walked off blindly with her arms stretched out in front of her (she lost her contacts, you see). "I need to get out of here, this apartment's making me sick."

I sniffled, then stood up, grabbed Tawni's shoulders, and steered her back to the couch, "Tawni, you can't even see! How are you going to drive home?"

"I don't know and I don't care! I need to prettify myself! So let me go!"

"Yeah, but - "

"I WANT MY HOT CLOSET!"

"Well, I want my Blarmie the blanket with arms, but you killed it!" I shot back, scrunching up my face unhappily.

Tawni opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted when Nico and Grady staggered out of my bathroom and made their way to the door. "Hi, Sonny. Bye, Sonny," they said together, making a beeline for the front door.

"Whoa, whoa, wait!" I yelled, and they skidded to a halt, glancing back at me nervously. I think they were afraid I'd chew them out for bringing me bad sandwiches, poor guys. "We cleaned up after ourselves, we swear," Nico said quickly, and Grady nodded in agreement, adding, "We swear on the existence of Narnia that we cleaned up!" This earned him a look of disbelief from Nico, but Grady didn't really notice. "Can we leave now?"

"I believe you," I said. "I just have a favor to ask you guys." I shoved Tawni towards them in a gentle-ish way, then went on, "Could you please take Tawni home? I don't want her driving when she's blind."

They looked relieved. "Sure thing, Sonny."

Tawni turned to face the wall gratefully, and I rotated her by the shoulders so that she was looking in the right direction over at Nico and Grady. "Good, I don't have to stay in this dump." She squinted her eyes at Grady. "Wait, do I know you?"

While Tawni attempted to figure out who Nico and Grady were, I pushed them all out into the hallway, then shut the door behind them and sighed. Alone at last. I made my way over to the living room area, gingerly picked up the ruined Blarmie, and started to sniffle again. "My Blarmie... the blanket with armmsss!" I blubbered, plopping back down on the couch and waving the Blarmie around uselessly in the air.

I'm not really sure how long I sat there bawling my head off, but then, all of a sudden, I heard someone say behind me in a throaty voice, "Where's the water?"

I think I almost had a heart attack. I mean, I'd totally thought I was alone, and then all of a sudden some guy sneaks up behind me and says something in a creepy sounding voice, and... well, and it was just really _scary! _

So I screamed, turned, and instinctively hurled my Blarmie the blanket with arms at the person's face.

"AHH!" screamed the person. "WHAT IS THIS THING?"

Instead of answering, I grabbed a cushion and whacked the guy as hard as I could in his chest. "Get out of my apartment!"

"Ow! Sonny, stop - OW! Sonny, it's me!"

I paused in my whacking, though I kept the cushion in my hands just in case. "Me who?"

"Who do you think?" the guy asked, sounding offended.

I dropped the pillow in surprise. "Chad?"

He pulled the Blarmie away from his face (which was puke-free, since when I threw the Blarmie at him, apparently it was the clean side that hit him. Phew) and tossed it onto the floor, looking disgusted. "Of course it's me. And what was that thing? It smelled bad."

"My Blarmie the blanket with arms," I pouted. "Tawni threw up in it."

"That explains the puke smell."

"Speak for yourself," I said, wrinkling my nose. "That sandwich must've been really bad."

He glared at me. "Which is exactly why I hate associating with you Randoms."

I ignored that. "You did clean up after yourself, right?"

"It went right in the toilet, so there was no need to clean. Now do you have any water? I need to get this disgusting taste out of my mouth."

I gestured toward the kitchen, and he stalked off towards the refrigerator, while I trailed behind him and attempted to comb my messy hair with my fingers. Not because I was self conscious about how I looked or anything. Of course not! That's ridiculous. I just... I was sort of... er... oh, never mind.

Anyway, as I handed Chad a glass to pour some water into, I muttered, "You know, it's rude to kick open someone's door like that."

Chad took a big gulp of some water, then wiped his mouth and scoffed. "Well, excuse me for rushing to your rescue. I didn't realize that was a crime nowadays."

I stared at him blankly. "What're you talking about?"

He shot me a look that suggested he thought I was stupid. "You called me earlier, and when I answered all I heard was screaming and a bunch of weird noises. I thought someone was attacking you. So I came to make sure you were ok."

I still had no idea what he was speaking of. "I didn't call you."

"Yes, you did," he said slowly, like he was talking to a little kid.

I frowned in confusion, and then suddenly it dawned on me. "Oh, I dropped my phone down the sink drain earlier. I guess it must've somehow called you when it fell. Weird." Thinking about my phone made me sad. Both my phone _and _my Blarmie were ruined. Bummer.

"You dropped your phone down the sink? That's so smart of you," he laughed.

"Actually, it wasn't really that - wait, were you being sarcastic?"

He rolled his eyes. "Your intelligence astounds me."

I childishly stuck my tongue out at him, then frowned again. "I don't understand something, though. Why did you care if I was in trouble or not?"

He narrowed his eyes. "What're you suggesting?"

I folded my arms across my chest and raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not suggesting anything, just asking a question."

Chad turned away and put his glass in the sink. "Sonny, we've been over this. I do not care about you or what you do. At all." He faced me again and smirked. "Why, do you _want _me to care or something?"

"No!" I said quickly, then felt my face flush when he just grinned wider. I decided it was time to change the subject. "Just so you know, you have to pay to have my door fixed."

He shrugged. "Sure, whatever."

"And I think you should buy me a new Blarmie, too," I added, nodding sagely. Chad looked confused. "Why?"

"Because you barged in my house uninvited and puked in my bathroom. So you owe me," I pointed out.

He sighed. "Sheesh, fine. Anything else you want?"

I think he was being sarcastic again, but I answered anyway. "A puppy!" I squealed.

"No," he replied flatly.

"Aw... why not?"

"I hate puppies."

"...you're such a jerk."

"And you have terrible comebacks."

As we talked/argued, we strolled back into the living room. He stayed standing, while I sat down on the edge of the sofa, because I didn't feel like standing anymore. So we bantered a bit more about random useless things I can't really remember. It was getting pretty late, though, so finally I told Chad, "Ok, well. You can go now. Good night."

He shook his head. "Wait, I still have one more thing I need to ask you about."

"Ok, shoot."

He'd looked fairly content before that, but once I gave him permission to ask his question, he was glaring at me as if I'd just announced that Zac Efron was the greatest actor of our generation. "Why was that weirdo here?"

I was offended. "Chad, Grady and Nico are not weirdos! How many times do I have to tell you that? Sure, they're goofballs, but - "

He cut me off halfway through my sentence. "Not _those_ weirdos, the other weirdo! What's his name?" He snapped his fingers, scrunching up his face in this kind of cute, boy-ish way.

"Um. Hayden?" I suggested tentatively.

"Hayden," he agreed, practically growling out the name. "What was _he _doing here?"

"Oh, he was here for his date," I said, smiling.

Chad's eyes widened. "WHAT? A date? With _him?_"

"Yeah! It was going pretty good at first, but then it just kind of went downhill..."

I don't think Chad even heard what I said, because then he asked furiously, "Why were you having a date with that guy?"

"Um. I didn't have a date with Hayden. Tawni did. Why would I date Hayden? I don't even like him that way." I peered curiously at Chad and wondered why he was so angry. I mean, he looked like his head was going to explode or something, that's how mad he was. That seems a bit suspicious, don't you think?

"But-But you kissed him!" Chad stuttered (that's right, he _stuttered_), an outraged expression on his face.

I threw up my hands in the air in exasperation (not literally of course, because if I actually threw my hands up in the air, then I'd be handless, and I'm not, so... yeah). "I told you, it was the Kiss Cam!"

"You could've said no to the Kiss Cam!"

"Chad, you _can't_ say no to the Kiss Cam! Haven't you been listening to anything I've said all day?"

He frowned at me, still looking ticked off. "Yeah, well... you still kissed him, though."

Wow. That's really the best argument he could come up with? Sheesh. I don't even see why he made such a big deal over it. Ok, I get that he thinks I used his tickets irresponsibly or whatever, but still, there was no need to get all fussy about it.

Anyway, I realized that yelling at him wasn't going to get me anywhere, so I took a deep breath and attempted to be reasonable. "Look, Chad, it wasn't my fault, ok? Everyone was chanting at us and telling us to kiss, so we did. That's it. I'm sorry for using your tickets irresponsibly, but I had no choice. I mean, the Kiss Cam could've made me kiss anyone, not just Hayden, but it just so happened that he was sitting right next to me and - "

My babble was silenced when Chad put a finger on my mouth to shut me up. "...anyone?"

I raised my eyebrows at him, trying to read the peculiar expression he had on his face. Swiping away his finger, I shrugged. "Yeah, anyone. I mean, I'd rather not go kissing random strangers, but it was the Kiss Cam, so - "

"Sonny, where's your camera?" Chad interrupted again, striding off in the direction of my room. I was sort of stunned by his random, out-of-the-blue question, but that didn't stop me from leaping to my feet and rushing over to jump in front of him before he could go into my room. "Don't go in there!"

"Why?" he asked, tilting his head.

"Because... it's my room. I need my privacy. Back off," I said defensively. Yeah, ok, so that sounded kind of pathetic, but it was the best I could come up with.

"You're making me curious. So now I can't back off," was his snarky reply, and then he easily shoved past me into my room. I scampered after him, feeling panicky, and hoped he wouldn't notice the little thing I'd added to my bedroom decorations just a few weeks ago.

Unfortunately, he did. For a second he just stared at the spot above my bed, and then he broke out into a huge grin. "Well, well, well," he snickered. "Look at that."

Damage control time. I darted in front of him and slammed the picture facedown, so he couldn't see it. "Shut up."

He didn't, which was to be expected, because Chad never shuts up about this sort of thing. "You put my picture right above your bed? Oh, this is rich!" he crowed. I swear, he looked like he'd just won the lottery or something, which just made me more annoyed with him. "I told you not to come in here."

He just laughed. "Oh, Sonny. Funny, funny little Sonny." Then he shook his head and laughed some more, while I huffed and folded my arms. "Chad Dylan Cooper, I'm very angry at you."

He clutched his sides. "Angry, huh? You look pretty calm to me."

"Maybe. But in my mind I've just killed you five times."

"Wow, Munroe, I never realized you could be so violent." He smirked over at me, then turned and studied my baby pictures on the bookshelf by my bed. "So where's your camera?"

"Why do you want my camera?" I asked, picking up the autographed picture he'd given me a few weeks ago and stuffing it under my pillow while his back was turned.

"Aw, you were so cute when you were younger," Chad cooed as he looked at one of my baby pictures. "What happened?"

I ignored the jibe at my lack of cuteness. "What do you need my camera for?" I repeated.

"Kiss Cam. Duh."

Oh, yes. Because that definitely answered my question. Not. "I'm sorry, what?"

He let out an exaggerated sigh that was probably meant to sound dramatic and turned to face me. "You said you'd kiss anyone if the Kiss Cam pressured you into it."

I wasn't sure where he was going with that. "Yeah, ok."

"So prove it," he finished casually.

I stared at him blankly for a second, still not understanding. Then all of a sudden realization hit me, and my jaw dropped. "No way! That is not what I meant!"

"What else could you have meant?"

"I... well... I didn't mean I was going to kiss you!" I flailed my arms around in the air helplessly. "And that doesn't even count, because it's not actually a Kiss Cam! And no one's pressuring me into kissing you! And... And I don't even want to kiss you!"

He sent me a dubious look. "Says the girl who has my picture on top of her bed."

"That doesn't make any sense - "

"And you said you would kiss anyone," he pointed out accusingly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to include the words _except you!_"

"Come on, Sonny, you know you want to kiss me."

"Uh, no, I really don't!"

"Sure, you do. Every girl does. I'm irresistible."

He's so full of himself. I hate him. Well, I don't really hate him, I guess... but I hated him at that particular moment.

I shook my head. "Chad, listen to me very, very carefully. I. Will. Never. Kiss. You. Never ever ever ever ever. Ever. You could put me in front of a gazillion Kiss Cams, and I would never do it."

"Righttt," he said in a doubtful tone of voice.

Ok, enough was enough. I seriously did not need to put up with Chad attempting to convince me to kiss him. So I got to my feet and pointed toward the door. "Out."

"You serious?"

"OUT," I growled.

"Fine, fine..." He started towards the door, but then paused and looked back at me. "You will kiss me one day, though," he said with a grin.

"You really are deaf, aren't you?" I said in disbelief.

He wagged a finger at me. "Don't deny it, Munroe. I think you and I both know that you're going to kiss me eventually. It's just a matter of time."

"You keep telling yourself that, Chad. Now can you please leave? Some of us actually need to sleep here."

He chuckled, then winked. "Catch ya later, Sonny." He blew an air kiss at me, then strode out of my room. A second later, I heard the front door slam behind him.

I let out a relieved sigh and flopped onto my bed. "Stupid Cooper," I mumbled, pulling the autographed picture out from under my pillow and glaring at Chad's little pouty face. I was very tempted to trash the picture, to be honest. I'm sure you'd be, too, if you had to put up with him every day.

But then I figured that even though Chad's really aggravating, it'd be mean to throw away his apology autograph. So I set it back on the spot above my bed, where it's still sitting today. I should probably take it down and put it in my drawer or something, but I'm too lazy to do that, I guess...

So... why'd Chad want me to kiss him? I don't know. He's such a confusing drama snob.

Though, like, two weeks later Chad somehow managed to get a guest star spot on So Random and kept bugging me about how I'd kiss him and fall in love with him. I guess he was still trying to prove that I would kiss him under pressure. Yeah, well, it all worked out, because he kissed a pig instead! HAH!

Anyway, my point is, the Kiss Cam is really overrated, Hayden is not my boyfriend, and I will never kiss Chad Dylan Cooper.

There, I talked about it. Hopefully you guys are satisfied now.

Well... that's it, I guess. My last topic. Wow. I'm a bit depressed now. I don't think even a smiley face could cheer me up.

I'm gonna miss doing this and reading all of your sweet little comments. You guys are awesome. It makes me wonder how such nice people like you could be fans of that jerk.

Ah, well. It's one of life's many mysteries, I suppose.

All right, then, I guess I'm gonna go now. Don't forget to watch So Random every week at 7 P.M! And wish me luck, so that Chad doesn't strangle me after he reads all this.

...I just gave you all a virtual hug with my mind, because I just love you guys so much.

Okie dokie, I'm going to stop now, otherwise I'll never quit yapping and you're all going to be annoyed with me, haha.

Sayonara!

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><p><strong>This chapter was kind of hard to write for some reason... but I managed to get it through! Yes!<strong>

**And yes, the great CDC does return next chapter. Feel free to weep with joy. c: **

**Thank you all so much for reading and supporting this story! :D Until next time... peace out, suckas!**

**~Ginger**


	18. Magic

**Hey, guys! Sorry it's taken so long to update this. It actually would've been done sooner, but my mom banned me from the computer, so...**

**Anyway, I hope you guys like this! :D**

* * *

><p>What.<p>

The.

Hell.

How... how DARE she! Holy freaking... there are just no words to describe my rage right now. No. Words.

It's bad enough I was forced to go to Texas for my important business... ah, heck, you guys already know it wasn't important business, because _she _blabbed and told you I had to go to my stupid cousin's stupid birthday party. Argh!

Well, that's what I get for trusting a Random with my personal stuff.

And she ignored every single thing I told her! I tell her only one topic per day, and she writes two topics per day! I tell her not to let anyone else even touch my Wisdom Center, and she stupidly lets Tawni flipping Hart take over! Oh, yes, and then Tawni flipping Hart says that my (nonexistent) feelings for Sonny are more obvious than Sonny's (existent) feelings are for me! Uh, I beg to differ!

And don't even get me started on that Kiss Cam topic she wrote. I'm absolutely positive that I specifically told her to NEVER discuss the Kiss Cam. And what does she do? SHE DISCUSSES IT.

I hate her so much right now it's not even funny.

You know what, Munroe? This. Means. WAR. Yeah, that's right! You and your little fun hut buddies better watch your back, because Chad Dylan Cooper is _not _going to let you off the hook that easily! And don't you dare come over and try to use your little cutesy voice on me to convince me to not be mad at you anymore, because it won't work this time! Oh, and you know what else? You are banned from the Mackenzie Falls set until... until, uh... tomorrow! Yeah, that's right, I went there! Take that!

Ugh. Excuse me while I calm down for a second.

...I apologize, my wonderful fans. I swear, I wasn't going to make our lovely reunion begin with a ginormous rant about _her_. I was just so aggravated. But no matter, I've got myself under control. She _will _pay for what she's put you through for the past few days, I promise.

Hmm... on one bright side, she actually did admit some interesting stuff. Like, for instance, I am now officially positive that she was jealous when that lunatic stalker girl macked on me on the ice cream parlor.

Hehe, and I see she was quite enthralled with my Chabs...

Maybe I should walk by her dressing room shirtless one day just to see what she does. Oh, man, that would be priceless!

Ok, you know what, I'm moving on. I can't just sit here blabbering about this all day. I'm Chad Dylan Cooper. I've got things to do and places to go to. So without further ado...

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Magic**

All right, I'm going to try and break this to you magic believers as gently as I possibly can...

YOU IDIOTS, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS FLIPPING MAGIC.

No, you cannot use the Force or whatever.

No, you cannot hop on a broomstick and zoom off to Target to buy a cauldron.

No, Sabrina the teenage witch and her magical talking cat do NOT actually exist.

And lastly - make sure you get this into your thick skulls - you are NEVER going to be accepted into Hogwarts. Never ever ever. Ever.

Wanna know why? Because magic simply doesn't exist! I'm serious. Say 'Avada Kedavra' right now and I promise you, nobody is going to drop dead. I don't see how some people can honestly think that it's real. Seriously, people? What are you, stupid? No offense, of course, but... come on.

Love isn't magical. Friendship isn't magical, no matter what some dumb My Little Pony show says. Zac Efron's acting? Definitely not magical at all.

Now all those things (except lovey dovey-ness and Efron's acting) are great, but there's no magic there. Trust me, I know. Don't listen to what Sonny says. Her ideas on magic are pathetic. Not kidding.

Not much more I can say to make you believe me, I suppose, so let's see if this latest story of mine can somehow convince you.

A while back, maybe a few months ago or something, my mom sent me on a shopping trip to WalMart. It was a Saturday, I'd had absolutely no plans (for once), and I'd been planning on sleeping in. So I wasn't exactly happy when Mom forced me to go. But, well, her foot did happen to be broken at the time... so it was the least I could do.

So a few hours after that, I found myself pushing a cart around WalMart. Ugh. I hate WalMart. There are way too many wackos who shop there for my liking. Which is one of the many reasons why every time I go there, I have to take precautions and disguise myself, so I don't get attacked by rabid fans.

Anyway, I had just stopped to inspect the DVD shelves (you know, just to make sure all the Mackenzie Falls season sets were in their rightful place in the front of all the other DVDs) when I felt something whoosh by me. I whirled around, all set to defend myself with my supreme ninja skills, and saw nothing in front of me. A bit confused, I looked to the right and saw some idiot girl zooming off with a cart and laughing like a maniac. She skidded around the corner, nearly crashing into a clothing rack, and then disappeared.

I frowned, wondering why the random girl's laughter sounded so familiar, then shrugged and went on with my shopping. I didn't need to concern myself with the antics of some lunatic. And after awhile I completely forgot about about the familiar sounding girl.

Until I passed by the toy aisle, at least.

I was taking a break from shopping and browsing through some of the crappy toys on the shelves (why people actually buy some of that junk I'll never figure out) when suddenly someone rammed their cart against mine. Startled, I let out a manly yell of extreme surprise/terror and glared at the person. "Hey, what's the big idea, you could've killed me, you - !" Then I stopped short and groaned. "Oh, come on."

The girl across from me blinked at me apologetically with big eyes. "Oops, I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm really sorry!"

I gave her a fiercer glare in response. "You know, this just so happens to be my break, and I don't want _you_ ruining my free time. So quit following me around, Sonny!"

Sonny (because it was Sonny, of course) frowned. "Huh? Wait..." She peered closely at me, and her brown eyes widened even more. "Chad? Oh, wow, I didn't even recognize you with your hair tucked under that baseball cap!"

"Yeah, well, since I'm so incredibly famous I have to wear a disguise. I'm sure you can understand that, Munroe. Oh, wait, you can't, because you're an unpopular loser." I grinned at her triumphantly.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Chad."

I changed tactics. "What are you doing running around with the cart like that, anyway? You could hurt someone." The thought that she might also hurt herself, too, sprang up in my mind, but I didn't mention it. Because then she'd think I cared, and as you very well know, I don't.

"Well... what're you doing at WalMart?" she countered back. "This doesn't seem like a place you'd come to regularly."

"I asked you first."

"I asked second."

"What's your point?"

"First is the worst, second is the best, and third is the one with the hairy chest!"

"What."

"Well, you did ask me what my point was."

"Do you really want to do this all day?"

She frowned at me before sighing in a way that meant she was giving up. Success! "Fine. I was just cart surfing with Erik."

Cart surfing. I don't even know what the hell that is, and that's really saying something, because I know everything.

At the time, though, I was a bit more preoccupied with the word 'Erik'. "Erik? Isn't that your pretend fan? I hate to break it to you, Sonny, but I'm pretty sure it's not possible to hang out with a figment of your imagination."

She laughed. "No, not Eric with a 'c'. Erik with a 'k'."

"Huh?" I said blankly.

She shook her head at me. "Look, he's right here, so why don't you just - " She abruptly quit talking as she turned to stare at the spot beside her, then her expression turned panicky. "Erik? Erik!"

I watched bemusedly as she dropped down to her knees and looked under the cart, then stood up and frantically whirled around in a circle. "Um, Sonny, are you _sure_ this Erik guy isn't imaginary?"

"Chad, did you see where he went?" she practically yelled at me.

"Oh, I get it, he's just invisible, right?" I mused.

"Chad!"

"An invisible boyfriend, by any chance? Sheesh, Munroe, I figured you had a low self esteem or something, but this is just -"

"CHAD! This is not the time!" She glared at me. "He was right here beside me just a minute ago! What if someone kidnapped him? No, I'm sure he just walked off or something... but what if he was kidnapped? He might be stuffed in a bag right now and about to be dumped in a river! Wh-What am I gonna do?"

Sonny looked like she was near tears, which was really odd to see, since I've never actually seen her cry over anything except dogs. I really just hate seeing her cry for some reason, so in an attempt to stop her from getting all teary, I strode over to grab her shoulders and sweep her bangs out of her eyes. "Hey, don't panic. I'm sure your boyfriend can take care of himself." I have to admit, I really hated saying that. That's another thing I can't stand. The idea of Munroe having a boyfriend, I mean. Not because she's ugly or anything, because she's actually sort of-ish attractive in a cute way (stupid cute), but even so...

I'm getting off subject.

Sonny sniffled and blinked up at me. "Erik's not my boyfriend."

Relief surged through me. Thank God. "Oh. Ok, then. So who is he?" I asked her as she craned her head over my shoulder, probably to look for the Erik dude.

"My kid," she said distractedly.

I quickly let go of her shoulders. "WHAT?"

Ignoring me, she ran off with a her face scrunched into a determined expression. "Erik! Erik, where are you?"

I stood there stupidly for a moment, trying to process this new information. In retrospect, I probably should've just finished up my shopping and moved on with my life. But the idea of Sonny Munroe having a kid was just... I don't even know how to describe how hard that shocking news hit me. I mean, I never actually thought about it much, but... well, I'd always assumed she was a virgin! Right? RIGHT?

Anyway, my complete shock caused me to temporarily lose my common sense as I grabbed my cart and chased after her. Yep. Just great.

After a while of her running and me chasing (my cap fell off while I ran after her, darn it), she _finally _stopped and cried out in relief. "Oh, Erik!"

The little boy sitting cross-legged on the floor, playing with a toy dinosaur, turned his head in her direction. He looked kinda like he was maybe three or four years old (I couldn't really tell), with curly brown hair so dark it was almost black and big blue eyes. When he saw Sonny, he grinned hugely and waved the T-rex around in the air. "Hi, Sunsun!"

Sonny dropped down to wrap him in a tight hug. "Erik, you scared me so badly! Don't ever run off like that again, ever!"

Erik bonked his toy dinosaur against her head. "Stop it," he whined in protest. "I wanna play dinosaurs."

Beaming and obviously feeling less panicked, Sonny nodded agreeably. That's when the kid noticed me gawking at them from the opposite end of the aisle. He pointed at me and babbled, "Sunsun, it's your boyfriend!"

Sonny turned around to see who Erik was looking at, and when she saw me her face turned as red as a tomato. "No, Erik, that's just my friend. Who's a boy," she said quickly. "He's not my - "

"It is!" Erik said proudly. "You said so when you were sleepin'!"

Sonny's face turned even redder, if that was possible, and she just stammered incoherently.

I smirked slightly, enjoying Munroe's embarassment and the fact that the kid had basically just given me proof that Sonny dreamt about me. But I was still concerned about Sonny's apparent lack of virginity, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I normally would have. "Nice kid you've got there, Munroe. You know, it might've been nice to know that you're a _mother_."

Sonny shot me an incredulous look and regained her ability to speak. "What? I'm not a mother."

"You said that was your kid!" I pointed out accusingly.

"Well, yeah, but that - oh!" She started to snicker. "That's not what I meant, Chad. Erik is the kid I babysit on Saturdays. He lives in the same apartment I do, with his mom." She grinned brightly at me.

I was torn between fainting from relief or dramatically raising my fist and yelling 'YES!' to the ceiling. But since the first option wasn't manly and the second option was stupid, I chose neither and just said, "Oh."

She giggled lightly. "Don't worry, Chad, I'm not planning on having any kids until I'm married."

It was time to change the subject. I gestured to Erik, who had ditched the dino and was using a Transformer toy to punch a Ken doll in the face. Good for him. "Ok, so... if you're babysitting, why did you take him to... this place?"

Sonny's face lit up. "Because WalMart is one of the best places ever!"

I made a derisive noise in the back of my throat. "You're kidding me, right?"

She shook her head, still smiling. "I'm serious. I used to love coming to WalMart as a kid. There's always something to do here. I mean, you can go cart surfing, you can play with toys, you can read books and play video games and eat at Subway and - "

I cut her off before got the chance to bore me to death. "Only an idiot would think that WalMart is _fun_."

Her smile turned into a frown. "Says you. You don't even know what fun is."

I scoffed. "Oh, really? Fun is getting a nice two hour massage, and sipping loganberry smoothies, and winning a Tween Choice award. This, Munroe, is _not _fun."

She gave me a sweet smile. "You just proved my point."

"What point?"

"All I'm saying is, Chad, is that you won't know what you'll think about something if you don't try it. WalMart is a magical place."

It was at this point that I practically died laughing and couldn't speak for several moments. Sonny rolled her eyes at me as I cracked up. Erik actually reached up to tug Sonny's sleeve and said very seriously, "Sunsun, Mackensee is having a sees-yur."

Once I got control of myself, I grinned at Sonny and said, "This isn't Disneyland. It sure as heck isn't magical. Nothing is."

Her jaw dropped. Looking horrified, she covered Erik's ears and glared at me. "Chad, don't say lies like that in front of Erik!"

I shrugged. "Suit yourself. Now excuse me, I need to go get some bread..." I was about to return to my cart when Sonny grabbed a styrofoam sword and darted in front of me. "Oh, no you don't. You, Chad Dylan Cooper, are going to have some _real _fun for a change."

"I don't have time for this," I groaned. "My mom is waiting for her groceries, and - "

"Every mother wants their kids to have fun. She'll understand, trust me."

"Oh, come on, Sonny..."

"If do fun stuff with me and Erik for thirty minutes, I'll help you get the groceries you need. And help load them into your car," she said hurriedly.

I paused and considered that for a moment. I really didn't know why she wanted me to stay so badly (it probably had something to do with her unrequited love for me, I'm guessing), but I figured that was a pretty good deal. "Well..."

"Great!" she squealed before I could finish, flinging her arms around my neck in her excitement.

I froze in place. "Uh, I never said yes." She just grinned at me. "But you were going to."

I shrugged uneasily and lightly pushed her off of me. "Yeah, well, this better be worth it."

"It'll be the best thirty minutes of your life," she told me sincerely, then tapped my shoulder with the styrofoam sword. "En garde!"

I gazed at her in disbelief. What, she actually expected me to have a stupid fake sword fight with her or something? That was so childish! And CDC does _not _do childish. "I changed my mind. I'm outta here." I turned around, only to find my path blocked by the little twerp, who was holding a toy lightsaber in front of him and regarding me very solemnly. "Choose your weapon, Mackensee."

I looked back and forth between them, then slumped my shoulders in defeat. "If a paparazzi happens to take a picture of me having a duel with you two, it'll be on your consciences," I muttered grimly as I picked up a plastic sword. The only responses I got were grins and whooping as both of them charged at me with their "weapons".

I have to say, having a sword fight with a Random and the twerp wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I guess it was sort of fun, just letting go and acting like a five year old again. I wasn't even that bothered when people stopped to gawk at us chasing each other around with swords (and that one lightsaber, in Erik's case).

After fighting with swords, we grabbed a basketball and played three-square, until Erik decided that the basketball was actually a pineapple in disguise as a basketball and we should quit playing with it because he's allergic to pineapples. After that we did a bunch of other things, too, most of which I can't really remember. Let's see... we dressed up all the mannequins to look like hippies and rappers, tried to beat each other at juggling with oranges, raced each other on scooters, discreetly hid all the Justin Beiber CDs so no one could find them, and a ton of other stuff. By that time, I was actually really enjoying myself, but I did my best to pretend like I wasn't, so Munroe wouldn't get the satisfaction of being right.

Once Erik barged through an elderly couple holding hands, shouting "RED ROVER!" at the top of his lungs, Sonny and I figured it was time to take a break. We calmed the kid down, then got him a cookie from the free samples near the bakery section and headed to the Subway inside WalMart to go get some lunch.

As we were eating our sandwiches, Erik tried to educate me on the world of Star Wars. "Mackensee, you know who Anakin is?"

"Uh... he's the good guy, right?"

Erik looked frustrated with my lack of Star Wars knowledge. "He's Darf Vader!"

"He is?" I asked, pretending to be shocked. Erik nodded so fast I thought he was going to break his neck. "Yeah, 'cause he went to the dark side. And he's Luke's dad!"

"Really? Well, that's pretty cool," I said agreeably. The kid nodded again. "I like R2D2." He giggled. "He's funny!"

I grinned and tossed the kid a potato chip. He caught it in his mouth and chewed noisily, beaming at me all the while. I smiled, then felt Sonny's eyes on me and turned to look at her. She was watching me with raised eyebrows. "You're good with kids."

I shrugged. "So?"

She looked confused. "Well, you're a ginormous snob, so I kinda always assumed that you'd hate kids. Or something," she mumbled.

I just laughed. "Yeah, well, I'm full of surprises, huh?"

At that she brightened. "And so is WalMart!"

"Whaddya mean?"

"Well, you obviously had fun, Chad. So now you know that WalMart really _is _magical, in it's own special way." She spread her arms out wide to somehow further prove her point. I smirked. "Sonny, you need to quit watching those Disney movies. There's no such thing as magic."

She gasped. "Yes, there is!"

"Magic doesn't exist. Stuff like Harry Potter is completely made up."

"I'm Harry Potter!" Erik interjected, frowning at me. I held up my hands in surrender. "Sorry, dude, I take it back. You totally exist."

"Chad, that's not the kind of magic I'm talking about." A soft smile appeared on Sonny's face. "Magic is everywhere. It's in the laughter of a little child, and the pure joy of just letting loose and having a blast, and in the wonder and beauty of nature..." She looked at me, her expression a mix of thoughtfulness and something else I couldn't recognize. "Magic is holding hands with someone you really like, and looking into their eyes and seeing their real self there." She gazed at me for an awfully long time, and I just looked back, not sure what to say. Then she blushed, turned away, and murmured, "That's my idea of magic."

I just continued to stare blankly at her, unable to say anything, when Erik tugged on my sleeve. "Mackensee?"

I somehow tore my gaze away from Sonny and looked down at the kid. "Yeah, kiddo?"

Erik peered at me with his huge, curious blue eyes. "Is Sunsun really your girlfriend?"

I glanced quickly back at Sonny, who appeared to have frozen in the process of eating her sandwich. She dropped her food abruptly back onto her plate, muttered something that sounded like, "Oh, look, a penny" and dove down to the floor. I returned my attention to Erik. "Nah, she's not."

Erik pouted. "Why not?"

I hesitated for a second. Just a second, though. "Well, for starters, we're enemies. We're kind of required to hate each other."

"_Noooooo!_" Erik argued, folding his arms across his tiny chest. "You're not enemenemies!" His face suddenly brightened, like he'd just gotten a brilliant idea. Just as Sonny poked her head back up over the table, Erik pointed at both of us and announced cheerfully, "You're magical!"

I almost snorted with laughter, but I managed to keep a straight face. "Really?"

He smiled brightly, grabbed my hand, and with what seemed like considerable effort hauled my hand on top of Sonny's. Both Sonny and I just stared at my hand on top of hers, while Erik jumped up and down excitedly and yelled, "S'magic!" over and over again.

I felt my face redden, and I jerked my hand away. "I should - I should probably, er..." I inclined my head uncertainly to my cart. "...go," I finished lamely.

"Yeah," Sonny said, nodding and looking embarassed. "I'll go help you with your groceries," she added, standing up. I shook my head. "No, it's ok."

"You sure?" she asked, frowning. I hid my own embarassment by smirking at her. "Yeah, I can handle a few groceries. I guess I'll catch ya later, Sonny."

"See ya." She gave me a strained smile.

Erik, meanwhile, looked pretty upset. "Mackensee, don't leave!" he wailed, dropping down and clinging to my leg. I smiled and ruffled his hair. "I have to go, kid. But I'll see you again soon."

"Promise?" he asked, craning his neck back to look up at me.

My smile widened. "I promise. And you can tell me more about Star Wars and Anakin then, too."

Erik let go of my leg and hopped up and down eagerly. "Yay!"

I chuckled, grabbed my cart, and started to walk away, but not before Erik yelled, "Hey, Mackensee, I have a gazillion girlfriends!"

I looked back just in time to see Sonny explode into laughter. She shot me a huge grin before saying, "Oh, Mackenzie, have fun checking out!"

Then both Sonny and Erik shouted together, "CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT!" Then they both cracked up some more, completely oblivious to the fact that everyone within ten feet was looking at them like they were insane. I got the heck out of there before anyone could think I was associated with them.

And that was the end of my "magical" day.

Magical. Yeah, right.

It was pretty fun, though. That Erik kid was cool. If I ever have a kid one day, I hope it's like him.

Though you know what's really weird? Even though it turns out he really wasn't Sonny's kid (thank God), he kinda looked a bit like her, with that big grin and brown hair of his. And his eyes looked like mine. Huh.

Do you think it's a sign?

Anyway, that's about it. Lesson of the day: Magic does not exist, no matter what Sonny and Erik seem to think.

Well, I hope the extreme longness of this topic made up for what you've been through these past three days. I feel a bit calmer now than I did when I started typing this, but Sonny's still gonna get it when I see her tomorrow. She better watch her back.

MWAHAHA!

Sorry, I figured that statement needed some dramatic evil laughter. Anywho...

I better go now. I need to go arrange my schedule for next week. Speaking of which, next week I'm going to appear on Gotcha! with Gilderoy Smith! I'll be talking about a book. Which book? I don't know... I guess I'll have to find a book to read. Or pretend to read, because reading takes up too much time. And it's stupid. So... any suggestions?

So if you can, my wonderful fans, check out my appearance on his talk show, next Tuesday night!

Ah, it really is good to be back.

Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>Oh, I missed writing in Chad's POV. ;_;<strong>

**Haha, this chapter was really random. I tried incorporating a few things in here, like my love of WalMart and my newfound love for Star Wars (yes, I'm a total dork.) I love Anakin and Padme so so much. :'3 **

**Erik is based off of my little cousin Chase, who has actually said and done many of the things that Erik said and did in here. C:**

**Oh, yes, and some people asked me when the writing of this Wisdom Center is taking place. Well, if you read carefully, now you know. xD **

**I hope you guys liked this chapter! I'll try to update soon, if I can.**

**See ya!**

**~Ginger**


	19. Chairs

**Hey, guys! I actually managed to right another chapter quickly this time. Ha! I feel so accomplished. I guess it kinda helps that I didn't really think this one through and just wrote stuff that randomly came to my mind. So... this chapter might not be that great.**

**But I hope you guys like it anyway!**

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><p>CDC, what it do?<p>

Lemme just start with an update of what's been going on at Condor Studios since my last topic.

The war between So Random and Mackenzie Falls has officially begun! After confronting the Randoms and informing them that they were going _down _(Sonny actually played innocent and acted like she had no clue why I was so mad at her. Yeah, right. I didn't fall for it), I gathered my cast together, and throughout the day we hid around the studio and played practical jokes on the unsuspecting Randoms. Those losers didn't even know what hit them.

HA!

That'll teach Sonny for writing those terrible things on my Wisdom Center.

One more thing. I've decided what book I'm going to read for my interview with Gilderoy Smith. It was a tough decision, but in the end I decided to go with Horton Hears a Who. Dr. Seuss is a flipping brilliant writer, so it shouldn't be that hard a read. I hope.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Chairs**

Chairs = Epic invention

Because who the hell wants to stand up all day?

Ok, sure, if you're tired of standing you could just sit on the ground or the floor or something, but come on. You don't know what kind of gross stuff is on that ground. If your legs are tired, chairs are the better solution.

Of course, there are some really horrible chairs out there. Like those rickety chairs that feel like they're going to fall apart when you sit on them, or the really hard uncomfortable ones. And I _especially _hate the ones where they're so insanely plushy that it feels like the freaking chair's going to swallow you up. Those things are really hard to climb out of.

Really, what geniuses even had the idea to make those dumb kind of chairs?

Anyway, the point is, most chairs are pretty cool. I guess.

Let's move on to the story, shall we?

One Saturday at the studio, I was lounging in the cafeteria, munching on a Chad sandwich (best sandwich ever, by the way), when I happened to notice something very strange. On the other side of the cafeteria, Sonny Munroe was sitting with a guy. And laughing with that guy. And talking with that guy. And EATING with that guy.

Ok, so I suppose it's not very strange from an outsider's point of view. But trust me, if you knew Sonny, seeing her chatting with a guy is not something you see every day. Since she's so... you know... unpopular. And stuff.

Anywho, because I was very concerned with the strangeness of this occurence, I figured I had the right to know why Sonny was having lunch with that guy. I didn't actually care, of course. If you must know, it is my self-appointed job to make sure that weird things do not occur inside the studio. So yes, it was basically my _job _to know what was up.

I was about to abandon my sandwich to go confront Munroe myself when she suddenly stood up, all the while giggling like crazy, grabbed the dude's hand, and dragged him out of the cafeteria.

My jaw dropped. Hand grabbing? Oh, no. That was not a good sign.

I looked around the area for clues and happened to see Tawni chowing down on a Tisdale Triple Decker. As much as I don't like Blondie, I had a feeling she would know what was going on, since she has to share a dressing room with Sonny and all. See what a brilliant thinker I am?

I strolled casually over to Tawni's table and plopped into the chair across from her. "Hey, Tawni. You look splendid today," I said, giving her a charming smile.

She frowned at me and daintily wiped her mouth with a napkin before answering. "Chad, are you trying to suck up to me for some reason?"

"What? Of course not! I would never do such a thing."

"Right." She rolled her eyes. "What do you want? I don't want to be seen associating with you."

I was very tempted to snap a witty retort at her, but I controlled myself. Be polite, be polite... "Well, I was just passing through, and I saw something very interesting."

"Don't tell me." She held up a hand before I could continue. "You saw your reflection, right? I hate to break it to you, but that's not interesting at all. Can you go away now?"

Urgh, she was so aggravating. I dropped the charming smile and said, "Look, Blondie, I just want to know what's going on. Why was Sonny eating with that... that _guy_?"

Tawni shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters!" I spluttered.

"Hmph. Well, I'm guessing she was eating because she was hungry. That is why most people eat, you know."

I groaned in frustration. "I know that, but why was that guy there?"

"You mean Bradley?" She waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, he's just visiting Sonny."

So that was the dude's name. Bradley. Stupid name. "Why was he visiting Sonny, though?"

Tawni flipped her hair and sighed, like the conversation was boring her. "Well, he's - " She stopped abruptly and stared at me, then smiled. "He's her new boyfriend. Didn't you know that, Chad?"

I gaped at her, shocked. Sonny had a _boyfriend_? "No! When did this happen?" I shouted, appalled by this piece of news.

"Over the weekend, I guess," Tawni said, still smiling. She seemed to be taking pleasure in my annoyance, darn her. "Why, does that bug you?"

"No," I scoffed. "I'm just... you know, concerned about Sonny's well being. That guy doesn't seem like her type."

Tawni twirled her fork between her fingers, now grinning like a Cheshire cat or something. "Awh, is little Chaddy jealous?" she crooned. I glared at her. "You know what, you don't even know what you're talking about. So do everyone a favor and shut up."

She set down her fork and smirked. "Defensive much?"

I scooted by chair back and stood up. "I don't have to explain myself to a dumb Random like you," I huffed. "I have better things to do. Places to go to, scripts to memorize. So if you'll excuse me."

I started to stalk off, but paused as Tawni called after me, "They're probably going to hang out in the Prop House, by the way."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "That's great. What makes you think I care?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Just a feeling."

I attempted to think of some sort of intelligent response to that, but by then rage was bubbling up inside me and I couldn't really think straight. So I just growled at her, turned, and barged out of there.

I spent a bit of time in my dressing room, pacing back and forth and thinking about the situation at hand. Munroe probably wouldn't like it if I just waltzed into the Prop House and told her that her boyfriend was no good for her. Nope, she'd probably get pissed and throw a chair at me or something (I wouldn't put it past her). There was only one thing to do.

I was going to have to go undercover.

(Insert dramatic spy music here)

I made a trip to the Mackenzie Falls's prop room and found a fake mustache, a black wig, nerd glasses, and an assortment of clothes that looked like something a janitor would wear. As much as I really didn't want to wear them, it was indeed necessary, so I donned the items and then checked out my reflection.

Well, I certainly didn't recognize the person in the mirror. Scary.

Once I'd established that my disguise looked believable, I snuck out of the Stage 2 (nobody needed to see me dressed up like a janitor) and made my way to the So Random Prop House.

When I arrived, I peered cautiously around the wall and into the Prop House. Just as Blondie had said, Sonny and the Bradley dude were seated on the couch, watching something on the TV. Sonny was babbling energetically about something to the guy, who was just laughing at every word she was saying.

I frowned and pushed the nerd glasses up the bridge of my nose. Oh, hell no. I was not going to let Sonny waste her time on this idiot. Maybe I hadn't always had her best interests at heart or anything, and maybe we weren't exactly friends. But the fact is, we _were_ frenemies. As much as she constantly irritated me, I knew there was no way I could allow her to do this.

Just as I was thinking this, my glasses fell off my nose and clattered down to the floor. Inside the Prop House, Sonny peered over the idiot's shoulder. "Who's there?" she asked curiously.

I picked up the glasses and straightened up. "Er... hello," I said, attempting to disguise my voice with a fancy schmancy accent.

Sonny frowned. "Do I know you?"

"No, of course'a not," I said quickly, moving slowly into the room. "I'm just the... uh... chair inspector."

The idiot sitting next to Sonny raised his eyebrows. "Chair inspector? Is there such a thing?"

"Yes, doofus," I snapped, momentarily forgetting to use the weird accent. When they both just stared at me, I stammered, "I mean, naturally. You'a never know'a what kind of dangerous things live in the chairs. Excuse'a me," I added, moving forward and squashing myself between the two of them. The idiot glared at me. "Hey!"

"Um, mister, not to be rude or anything, but do you think you could inspect our chair later?" Sonny said, looking a bit annoyed.

I pretended not to hear her. "Hmm, nice chair. Soft, plushy, very comfy, but... ooooh, yes, this chair is highly infected with, er, wangledoodles." I nodded sagely and patted a pillow to further prove my point. "It must'a be decontaminated right away!" I glared at the idiot. "But first you must'a move." I shoved the dude off the sofa, and he fell heavily onto the ground below. Sonny gasped. "Bradley!"

"Ow!" the idiot yelled, glaring daggers at me. "That hurt!"

I shrugged and addressed Sonny. "What? The carpet softened his fall." I picked up a pillow and clicked my tongue. "Ugh, full of wangledoodles. There is'a only one'a way to get rid of them." I then proceeded to chuck pillows at the idiot, who yelped and cowered as they bounced off him. "Ah! Jeez, get away from me, you freak!"

"Oh, did I hurt your feelings, good'a sir?" I asked, widening my eyes, then threw another pillow at him for good measure. "Hmm. Too bad."

"Mister chair inspector, can I talk to you alone for... just a moment?" Sonny said, sounding strained. I blinked at her. "Of course'a."

She stood and stalked out the door, pausing only to tell the idiot to wait there. The guy nodded and narrowed his eyes at me, practically spitting, "You're the worst chair inspector I've ever met!"

Heh. Probably the _only _chair inspector he's ever met.

I strode out into the hallway and tilted my head when I saw Sonny glaring at me fiercely. "What'a?" I asked, feigning innocence.

"Oh, cut it out with that terrible accent," she said, rolling her eyes. "I know it's you, Chad."

"Chad?" I tapped my chin. "You mean Chad Dylan Cooper, the handsomest and greatest actor in your'a generation? I am'a honored that you think I resemble his greatness."

Without a word of warning, she yanked the wig off of my head. "Hey!" I exclaimed, reaching to grab the wig from her, but she held it out of reach. "Why are tormenting Bradley? He didn't do anything to you, Chad! And... why are you pretending to be a chair inspector?"

Great. My cover was blown. Well, might as well come clean. I sighed. "Look, I was just trying to protect you, ok?"

"Protect me?" she looked bewildered for a second, then the frown came back, and she folded her arms. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much. And why in the world would you want to protect me?"

"Well, that guy isn't right for you!" I gestured wildly to the said idiot inside the Prop House. "How can you not see that? I mean, look at his hair! That is terrible hair. And he's not even that good looking."

She just stared at me, and I admitted reluctantly, "Yeah, ok, maybe I am butting in to your personal life, but if you can't see it, then I figured I'd have to help you see it, for your own good, so - "

"Whoa, whoa, wait," Sonny interrupted. "What're you talking about?"

I let my arms fall to my sides. "That guy is your boyfriend, and he shouldn't be. Got it?" I said, frustration seeping into my voice.

Astonishment crossed her face. "Boyfriend? Who told you that?"

I peered at her, wondering why she seemed so startled. "Tawni did."

"Tawni," she mumbled under her breath, shaking her head. "I swear..." She smiled slightly and looked back up at me. "Chad, Bradley isn't my boyfriend. He's my cousin."

My mouth fell open, and my glasses fell off again. I didn't even bother to pick them up this time. "Huh?"

She actually giggled. "Yeah. Bradley flew in from Wisconsin today to visit me and my mom. I've been showing him around the studio all day today. We practically grew up together. He's like my big brother."

"Oh." Well, I felt sheepish. Served me right for believing what Blondie said. I can't believe she actually told me that. I hate her.

Sonny placed her hands on her hips and grinned over at me. "How come you were so bothered by the possibility that Bradley was my boyfriend?"

I racked my brain for something to say. "Um... well, you shouldn't date guys like that."

"Why not?"

"Because... well, you look too much like each other, and people who look like each other often have failed relationships, and then you would've gone and cried and I would've had to cheer you up, which I hate doing." I was actually very impressed with my quick thinking.

"So what you're saying is that you did this so you wouldn't have to come cheer me up," she said, giving me a look of disbelief.

"Exactly!" I affirmed, nodding.

She scoffed, obviously not believing me. "Right."

"Anyway, your chair is all good," I went on hurriedly. "So I'll just be leaving now. You have fun with your, er, cousin." I turned and was about to hightail it out of there when Sonny's voice stopped me. "Hey, Chad."

I glanced over my shoulder. "What?"

She was smiling. "Just for the record, if I ever need protecting from a guy who's not right for me, I'll make sure to call you."

I grinned. "Really?"

"'Course." She hesitated. "And Chad, what you did was actually kinda sweet. In your own weird, self absorbed way."

I made to pop my collar, then realized I wasn't wearing my suit and that I didn't have a collar. So I just popped my invisible collar and smirked. "Hey, anything for my favorite Random."

She beamed at that, which made me feel much better about myself. I turned and jogged off before Sonny could say anything else, because I'd just realized that I had rehearsal in ten minutes.

So, long story short, everything ended pretty well.

Oh, and by the way, I found out that there actually _is _such a thing as a chair inspector! Weird. I thought I'd just made that up. Well, maybe one of you might like to make that your career choice one day.

Does that mean there might be such a thing as a wangledoodle, whatever the heck that is?

Anywho, that's it for my Chadly Wisdom Center today. It could've been better, but I'm pretty distracted right now, what with planning war against the Randoms. But I hope you all learned something from it.

Until tomorrow, then. Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>Wow, pretty short chapter. Oh, well. I'm so excited for what's coming up next in this story, though! I already have a future chapter written, and I'm practically dying to show it to you guys. Unfortunately it's gonna have to wait...<strong>

**Well, thank you guys for reading! And to all of you who review, thank you so much for making my day with your awesome reviews. You rock. :'D**

**Bye for now! Oh, and please review! C:**


	20. The Greatest Actor Of Our Generation

**Yay, another quick update! :D I kinda rushed this a bit, though, which you'll probably be able to sense as you read this... I just wanted to get the 20th chapter done before tomorrow, because my mom might ban me from the computer again (for my health, she says. Psh. Yeah, right, like the computer is what's making these stupid rashes appear on my eyes). **

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Psst!<p>

Hey, guys, it's Sonny! I can't stay long, because I'm supposed to be doing homework.

Yeah, I know, I shouldn't be on here in the first place, because Chad'll get angry and blahblahblah, but... well, that's actually the point. I mean, he can't just do that to my friends and expect me to twiddle my thumbs and do nothing about it! If that's what he thought, well, he's got another thing coming!

Oh, and here's a little heads up, Chad. Seeing as how easily I managed to log into your account, you may want to think about changing your password. For someone who's apparently so wise, you sure can be dumb.

Hmm... I have a feeling this might backfire on me, but it's worth the risk. And anyway, even if it does backfire on me, I have been gifted with the ability to reason with Chad, so it should all work out. Hopefully.

He's going to be so mad at me, though...

But... he asked for it! So there.

Oh, come on, self, quit stalling. Girl up.

Well, here goes...

**Sonny Munroe On The Greatest Actor Of Our Generation... ZAC EFRON**

Because he is a WAY better actor than Chad will ever be. EVER. Has it sunk in yet, Chad?

If I had to choose who I liked better, it'd be Team Efron, hands down. Definitely not Team Cooper, I'll tell you that much! Wanna know why? Because Zac Efron is much more talented and dreamy, what with his gorgeous hair and those amazing blue eyes, which I can guarantee are much better than Chad's.

AND ZAC EFRON IS HOTTER THAN YOU WILL EVER BE, CHAD.

You mad now?

Well, serves you right. I'm just getting started.

A few weeks after filming Chad's movie, I hung out with Selena Gomez (yeah, Selena Gomez! AH!). We went shopping and stuff, which was really fun, and she was nice about practically everything, which just made that double the fun. Finally we took a break and stopped at a local café to rest. We ate and chatted about random things, until I started questioning her about what some of the greatest stars of Hollywood were like.

"Is Sandra Bullock nice?"

"Oh, I haven't met her yet, but I hear she's incredibly sweet."

"What about... um... Justin Bieber?"

Selena made a face. "Ugh. Pompous snob. Almost as bad as your Chad."

"_My _Chad?" I asked, bewildered, but Selena just waved her spoon in the air at me. "Ask me about someone else. Anyone else."

I thought for a second. "What about Zac Efron?"

Selena's expression brightened. "Oh, I like him. For one of those big, hot-shot actors, he's very friendly. And he's got a good taste in girls. Vanessa Hudgens is a sweetheart. They're so cute together," she sighed, and I rolled my eyes. "Hey, wizard, you do know they're broken up, right?"

"You're still insisting on calling me a wizard?" She shook her head in disbelief, then added, "And I know, but they were so adorable. They need to get back together."

I chuckled and bit into my chicken sandwich. "Sure." That's when a thought occurred to me, and I snapped my head up to look at Selena. "By the way, Sel, I was wondering... how come Chad hates Zac Efron so much?"

"Oh, wow. This is the fifth time you've brought up Chad in thirty minutes. I so didn't see this coming," she said sarcastically. I frowned. "Please just answer the question."

"Why do you want to know?"

"Curiosity." I tapped my fingers against the table. "I mean, Zac's on Chad's banned wall, so something must have happened. Did they get in a fight or something? Is there some hidden history that I don't know about?

Selena leaned back in her chair in defeat. "There's really not much to it. I've known Chad for a while now, and if there's one thing I know about him, it's that he hates being upstaged. So naturally he would loathe, despise, and abominate Zac."

"That's it?"

She shrugged. "Yeah."

I put my chin in my hands and mulled over that for a bit. Then my eyes widened, and I jerked upward. "I got it!" I yelled to no one in particular. Selena shot me a baffled look. "Sonny, you ok?"

I ignored what she'd said and told her eagerly, "What if Chad knew that Zac is actually a nice guy? Then he totally wouldn't hate him anymore!"

"I don't think Chad would really care..." Selena started to say doubtfully, but I cut her off. "Of course he would! Hating someone you don't know is one thing, but hating someone you've actually met is a completely different thing!"

"Chad might not agree with your reasoning," she remarked.

"Well, it's for his own good. All I have to do is somehow find Zac Efron's phone number, call him, and get him to come down to the studio so we can convince Chad it's possible for two talented actors to get along. Where could I find Zac's number, though...?" Out of the corner of my eye, I happened to see Selena glance down guiltily at her purse.

I whirled around to face her. "Do you have Zac's phone number?"

"Um..."

"Do you?"

"Well, yes. But I really don't think this is going to - "

I clasped my hands together and gave her a pleading stare. "Oh, come on, Selena, I'm sure it'll work! Pleeeaaasseee?"

She hesitated. "Look, I don't really think this will accomplish anything. But I'll give you his number."

"Yay!"

"If..."

My face fell. "There's always an if," I muttered.

She smiled. "_If _you admit that you care about Chad."

I scoffed. "Well, that's easy. Of course I care about Chad. Not in the way that you're thinking, though," I added quickly when I saw Selena's triumphant look. She frowned. "Oh, come on, Sonny, you _know _you care about him! Look how much you've been talking about him today! You can't deny it forev - "

"Yes, I can," I said firmly. "Selena, please just give me the phone number. I promise I'll make it up to you somehow, someday."

She groaned. "You and Chad have to be the most stubborn, annoying people I've ever met." She fished in her purse for her phone, a piece of paper, and a pencil, then wrote down a phone number on the paper and handed it to me. "Here."

"Thank you, Selena!" I squealed, reaching across the table to wrap her in a big hug. She started to laugh. "You're welcome. Good luck with your brilliant plan, I suppose. I have a feeling it might not end well, though."

"Of course it will," I said confidently. She shook her head. "I hope so. Well, c'mon, let's go. We've got a bit more shopping to do!"

Skipping ahead a bit... after my day with Selena, I managed to work up the nerve to call Zac, and when he actually answered the phone, I swear, I almost DIED. Like, really! It's not often that I actually get to talk with big celebrities!

After introducing myself, I explained the situation to him and asked him if he could maybe come down to the studio tomorrow, you know, if he wasn't too busy. And he said he would!

My awesometastical plan was about to be put into action. YEAH!

Anywho, the next day, when I walked into the studio, I happened to bump into somebody on my way to Stage 3. "Oh, sorry, I wasn't really - " I started to say, then glanced up and was temporarily rendered speechless.

"It's all good," Zac Efron said, smiling at me. "I wasn't looking where I was going either."

"Ohmygoshyou'recoolerinperson," I blabbed, then cleared my throat. "Um, I mean, hi Zac. I'm Sonny Munroe. We talked on the phone yesterday, remember?"

"Oh, _you're _Sonny!" he exclaimed, grinning. "Hey, nice to meet you. So you wanted me to come talk to, uh, Chad Dylan Cooper, right?"

I nodded, feeling starstruck. "Uh huh. But first... can I have your autograph?"

Once I'd pestered him for an autograph and a photo with him (I hope he wasn't annoyed with me. He didn't seem like it, but since he's the **greatest actor of our generation**, you never know), I gave him a brief tour of the studio. I was really anxious to get him to meet with Chad, so that we could all be friends and stuff, but Zac was kind of hungry, so we put off going to Stage 2 for a bit and headed off to the cafeteria.

It all kinda worked out, though, because when we walked into the cafeteria, I spied Chad sitting by himself at one of the tables, admiring his reflection in a spoon, as usual.

I nudged Zac. "Look, there he is!"

Zac glanced at Chad, then looked back at me with raised eyebrows. "So... you want me to go over there and talk to the guy that hates my guts?"

"Yes!" I said eagerly. "Chad needs to see that he doesn't have to be threatened by better actors, that he can actually get along with them."

Zac frowned. "That's all well and good, but, uh, are you positive this will work? Opinions can't be changed easily, you know."

"Please don't back out of this now," I pleaded. "As big of a jerk as he is, this would be really good for him."

He sighed. "Well, ok. But if your boyfriend throws a chair at me, it'll be on your conscience."

"He's not my - " I started to protest, but Zac just grinned at me to show me he was joking. I smiled. "All right, wait here, I'll go talk to him." I turned, took a deep breath, and walked over to where Chad was sitting. I stopped next to him and waited for him to notice me, but he was too absorbed in staring at his reflection. Figures. I rolled my eyes before taking another deep breath and saying in the sweetest voice I could muster, "_Chaaaad._"

He glanced up at me, looking resigned. "What do you want, Munroe?"

I fidgeted. "Oh, nothing much. I just have someone here that I thought you'd like to meet."

He gazed at me blankly. "Beyonce?"

"Uh... no." I extended my arms and smiled. "Zac Efron!"

Thinking back on it, his expression was quite priceless. "What."

It was then that Zac strolled over to my side and waved at Chad, smiling in a friendly manner. "Hey, man, it's good to meet you."

Chad stood up so fast that I actually jumped in surprise. He glared at Zac fiercely and said, "Efron. I knew this day would come." He raised his fists. "Come on, let's go. Bring it on!"

Zac glanced at me dubiously, but I motioned for him to go on. He sighed and looked back at Chad. "Listen, Chad, Sonny thought it'd be good if we hung out a bit. She said she thinks we could be good friends."

Chad lowered his hands and turned to stare at me, shock plastered all over his face. "You said that?"

"Um, well, I implied it," I stammered, taken aback by the mixture of betrayal and fury in Chad's expression. He pointed at Zac and said heatedly, "Sonny, are you flipping insane? You really think Efron and I could be friends? NO. WAY." He glared daggers at me. "He's my sworn enemy! I thought you knew that."

"Yeah, but couldn't you just try and be nice to him?" I asked. "I know you're capable of that. He's a really cool guy! And maybe you'll change your mind about him, and you might even get along really - "

"Never," Chad growled. "I don't want anything to do with that doofus, and since you're obviously so buddy-buddy with him, I don't want anything to do with _you _either!"

As soon as he said it he looked a tiny bit regretful, but then he resumed looking ticked off again. It didn't matter, though, because the damage had already been done. I gasped. "Excuse me?" I tried not to look hurt, but it was no use. You really did hurt my feelings then, Chad.

"Hey, it's fine, just let it go," Zac murmured at my side, but I ignored him and directed my next words at Chad. "I was trying to help you!"

"Help me?" he scoffed. "How would this help me?"

"Because then you'd see that you don't have to be threatened by people who are better actors than you are, and - "

Wrong thing to say. Anger flared in Chad's eyes. "He is not a better actor than me! I'm much better than he is! And you know what, Sonny, your help never actually helps! It just makes everything worse, so why don't you just mind your own business and stop messing with my life!"

I drew back, staring at him with wide eyes. Something in my expression made the anger disappear from Chad's eyes, and he stepped forward with his hand outstretched. "Sonny, I'm sorry, I didn't mean - "

I batted his hand away and glared at him, trying hard not to cry. "Come on, Zac, let's go. I guess Chad doesn't appreciate the things I try to do for him." I started to stalk off, then whirled back around and shouted, "And for the record, Chad, I don't care how good of an actor you are! You are a _terrible _human being!" With that I ran out of the cafeteria, ignoring the stares of Chad and Zac and the other few people in there.

Eh. Not one of my greatest moments, I guess.

But I was pretty mad. And hurt. What Chad said was awfully mean.

"Sonny, I'm sorry about that," Zac said when he caught up to me. "I wish I could've done something. You ok?"

I wiped my eyes and shook my head. "I'm fine, Zac. There's nothing you could've done. Chad's a big fat jerk, and I should've known he'd react like this." I sighed and hugged my arms to my chest. "Thanks for coming out here, though, I really appreciate it."

"No problem," he said, smiling. "Catch ya later." Then he walked off. I was actually a bit relieved to see him go, to be honest.

Ah, I'm running out of time to write this. Gonna have to skip ahead a bit...

A while later, I was sitting in my dressing room by myself, frowning at my reflection in the mirror. "You need to quit meddling, Sonny. Quit meddling. Quit meddling," I chanted to myself.

I almost had a heart attack when someone said beside me, "Hey."

I turned in my revolving chair to stare at Chad, who was standing next to me awkwardly and looking anxious. Funny, I hadn't even heard him come in. After getting over my initial surprise, I remembered what he'd said to me in the cafeteria and glared at him. "What're you doing here? I thought you didn't want anything to do with me," I huffed.

His face contorted with something that looked almost like shame, except Chad doesn't have the capability to be shameful, so it was probably some other emotion. "I didn't mean that."

"Of course you didn't. Well, I'm not going to bother you any more. I won't mess with your life or whatever." I turned back to my table, but Chad whirled the chair back around so that I was facing him. I opened my mouth to protest, but he silenced me with a look. "I was just mad, ok? Seeing Efron made something in me snap, and... well, I guess I took it out on you. I'm sorry." He looked so sincerely apologetic that I almost forgave him, but I refused to let him off the hook that easily.

"You know, I was just trying to help you," I muttered.

"Why? I hate that idiot, and nothing's ever going to change that."

I groaned in frustration. "You're so annoying! This wasn't even completely about Zac, ok? I just wanted you to see that being the greatest actor of your generation doesn't mean everything. I thought maybe if I managed to do that, I dunno, things would... change. Obviously I was wrong."

He raised his eyebrows. "You have some weird reasoning."

I lowered my gaze. "Just go away, Chad."

"Sonny, I mean it, I really am sorry. Ok? Don't be mad," he said, sounding frustrated.

I didn't answer.

"What can I do to make you forgive me?" he went on, sounding a tiny bit desperate now. That made me look up. "Chad, stop it."

He just stared at me, and I sighed. "You mean it, don't you?"

"Yes!"

I regarded him in silence for a second, then punched his shoulder. "Ow!" he yelped, rubbing his shoulder where I'd hit him. "What was that for?"

"Being a meanie-pants," I mumbled, glowering at him.

He actually grinned. "Meanie-pants? That's so stupid." When I frowned he added quickly, "But I guess I deserved that. I really am sorry."

"You said that already," I pointed out matter-of-factly.

"Which just goes to show how much I mean it," he said, smirking. I just shook my head at him. His expression became serious again. "So are we good, Munroe?"

I hesitated before nodding curtly. "Fine."

"Good." He sighed in a relieved way. "Just for the record, I never want to speak about this ever again."

"Fine by me."

He then nudged me. "And you know, I really cannot believe you said that Efron is a better actor than me. The nerve of you," he said playfully. I knew he was trying to goad me into having an argument with him, and for some odd reason I was touched. Yes, I realize how weird that sounds. But our bantering actually makes me feel better, something that Chad knows.

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. "Well, it's true. He is the greatest actor of our generation after all."

Chad gasped over dramatically and made his eyes real wide. I giggled a bit at how funny he looked. "You take that back, Random!"

"I will not," I retorted, grinning. "He's much nicer than you are."

"Which makes him a sissy."

"He has better hair!"

"I beg to differ. There is no one in the world who has lush hair like mine. And everyone knows that blond guys are better than any others."

"Oh, yeah? Well, he's won two more Tween Choice Awards than you have!"

"Hey, that is not a fair argument!"

We spent maybe twenty more minutes arguing about who was better. We eventually succumbed into laughter over how stupid our banter was, and that's about when Tawni walked in and kicked Chad out of our dressing room.

So I didn't get Chad to be friends with Zac, but I guess it worked out, sorta. Chad still hates Zac's guts, though.

Which is why he's going to be so incredibly mad when he sees I wrote a whole topic on him. And used _this _as an example story, when Chad already told me that he really just wanted to forget the entire thing.

Oh, boy.

Well, if he is mad, he can't stay mad forever. And as I already said before, you brought this on yourself, Chad!

Ooh, something completely off topic: In two days I'm gonna appear on Gotcha with Gilderoy Smith! Is that awesome or what? It'll be my first talk show appearance ever. I've really excited, but also kinda nervous. Good thing Tawni's coming with me on there. I'm sure she's got tons of experience with going on talk shows.

Well, I gotta go, have to finish my geometry homework (blegh). Bye guys!

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><p><strong>Heh. I really just couldn't resist.<strong>

**Though you know, Sonny, as much as I admire your bravery... Chad's probably going to kill you tomorrow. Just saying. **

**Also, I moved the day of the talk show to Tuesday, because Friday felt like it was too far off...**

**Well, thanks for reading! Please review! I'll update when I can. c:**


	21. Lollipops

**Hey, guys! Oh, man, you wouldn't believe the crazy day I had yesterday. At school our class won this contest, so the campus ministry or whatever provided us with breakfast as a prize. We had breakfast pizza and donuts and it was _heavenly. _I seriously just about stuffed my face. Good thing I can eat as much as I want and still stay slim. :D And a lot of funny stuff happened during that class period, some of which I might use in a future chapter of this story... hmm...**

**Oh, and then I ate a muffin without realizing there was nuts in them. That was kind of bad, since I'm allergic to them (the allergic reaction wasn't that serious, though, because I spat out the muffin before I managed to actually swallow any of the nuts), but it was also really funny, because a few of my friends started freaking out because they thought I was going to die. Ha!**

**The only really bad thing that happened was my glasses breaking. I was cleaning them, feeling all pleased with how good my day went, and they randomly snapped clean in half. And I was like, "...oh, shit, Mom's gonna kill me." She didn't, of course, but she was a bit upset with my apparent stupidity. And today we went to go see if the jeweler could weld my glasses together, but apparently they can't. And the glasses store in WalMart couldn't replace the frame, either, because it's apparently not possible with that type of glasses. **

**We were about to give up, but then my mom remembered that my friend Caroline has almost the same eye grade as me, and I knew for a fact that she still kept her old glasses even though she wears contacts now. So luckily she lent them to me, and I can see now! Yay!**

**Ok, I've blabbered waaaay too much. Gonna stop now before I bore you all to death. Enjoy!**

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><p>I will not get angry... I will not get angry... I won't let this get to me...<p>

...

...

GAHHHH HOLY CRAP I'M SO PISSED I CAN'T EVEN TYPE PROPERLY FGSKJSHGKHAS

...Ok, I'm calm now. I'm perfectly fine.

You seriously have a death wish, don't you, Munroe?

And for your information, I just changed my password into something that's virtually impossible to figure out. So let's see you try and get into my account now! HA!

On the plus side, I did learn something from Sonny's terrible writing. Apparently she's going on Gilderoy's talk show, too, along with Blondie. On the same day that I'm going. How did I not hear about this before? Hmm... I have a weird feeling about this...

Anyway. I'll deal with all this later, once I get to the studio. Then I'll get back at Sonny. But for now, the important thing is my Chadly wisdom. Sorry you had to witness my brief freakout, my wonderful fans. I'll attempt to make it up to you with this topic.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Lollipops**

Oh, how I adore lollipops. They're really delicious. Not as good as cinnamon rolls or loganberry smoothies, but they're very satisfying when you have a desire to eat something sweet.

Really, go look up all the images of lollipops on Google. Don't those gorgeous pictures just make you want to drool? Yum.

My favorite lollipops are those ridiculously ginormous ones, just because it takes forever to eat them. And the longer it takes to eat a lollipop, the longer you get to savor it.

There's really not much else to say about lollipops... if there's anything else you want to know, just go buy one. I think they're probably only, like, 25 cents or something. Maybe less.

Ok, let's see...

A few weeks ago at the studio, I was making my daily round by the So Random stage. You know, just to make sure everything was shipshape and all. As the greatest actor of my generation (a title which I still proudly hold, NOT Efron, thank you very much), it's my duty to see to it that everything at Condor Studios runs smoothly. Otherwise I would definitely _not _be there. (and ok, I sort of wanted to tell Sonny something, too)

As I approached Sonny's dressing room, Gravy and Hippo walked past me wearing outfits that made them look like cotton candy. They glanced at me when they passed by, but didn't really react, just continued to chatter about elephants laying eggs or whatever.

I watched them go, wondering how two people could possibly be so stupid, then knocked on Sonny's dressing room door. "Hey, Munroe, you in there?"

"Yep! Come on in!" chirped her overly perky voice from inside the room. I rolled my eyes before entering.

The first thing I saw was a giant lollipop. For a few brief seconds I thought I'd hit the lollipop jackpot. My eyes widened. "What the...?" Then the lollipop turned around, and I realized that the ginormous sucker was just a costume. Sonny's grinning face peered out at me through the headpiece. "Whaddya think? Does the costume look good or what?"

I inspected the outfit she was wearing and tried to think of some way to respond to her question. Because there are just no words to describe that thing. No. Words. "It's... something," I finally managed to say. Apparently this was the safest thing to say, because Sonny beamed at me. "Thanks! The costume department just finished making it for our next sketch. We're doing this Candyman thing, and it's going to be _so _funny - "

I attempted to cut her off before her ceaseless chatter could make me do something incredibly stupid to get away from her, such as throw myself out a window (you know, if there were even windows in the room). "Anyway - "

"And the costume even kinda tastes like a lollipop!" she added before giving me a sly smile and saying, "Would you like to taste?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Just so we're clear, you are talking about the lollipop, right?"

Sonny threw back her head and laughed. I noticed that she didn't answer my question. Sighing, I ran a hand through my perfect hair. Being around Munroe was so distracting that I'd actually completely forgotten why I'd been searching her out in the first place. "Ok, Sonny, could you please quit it so I can talk?"

After a few seconds, her giggle-snorts came to a stop. "Talk?" She blinked. "Oh, I get it, you want to brag about some picture of you in a magazine, right? Eh, well, go right ahead, I guess."

I glared at her. "That isn't what I wanted to say."

She rolled her eyes and tugged off the lollipop headpiece. Her hair was slightly messy and static-y without the thing. You'd think this would make her look ugly, but it didn't. It just made her look more... I dunno. Cuter, I suppose is the only word for it. How is that possible? Beats me.

"Then what exactly _do _you want, Chad?" she asked me.

"Well, I just - WHOA, SONNY!" I recoiled as Sonny started to unbutton her costume. "Jeez, are you crazy? There is no stripping in the studio!"

She looked at me as though _I _were the one that was insane, as opposed to her, the one who was really nuts. "I have my regular clothes underneath this one, Chad," she said after a moment of just staring at me. "You don't actually think I'd undress in front of _you_, do you?"

Maybe. That is what my disgusting teenage boy hormones were sort of hoping, anyway. "Yeah, well," I huffed, not wanting to admit anything. "I'm gonna turn around anyway, just in case you're lying to me."

As I turned resolutely away from her, Sonny made a little noise that sounded half incredulous and half amused. "Well, that's not neccessary, but I do appreciate the gesture, Chad."

I nodded silently and studied the tacky sofa intently until Munroe finally said, "Ok, you can turn back around now." I cautiously faced her again and was relieved to see that she was wearing jeans and a plaid T-shirt. "You should warn me before you do these things," I muttered.

Sonny rolled her eyes, grinning a bit, and set the costume onto her chair. "So what did you want?"

"You made me forget," I accused. She raised an eyebrow. "Really? That's unfortunate," she said in a way that sounded like she was thinking the exact opposite.

I glared at her. Even though I could no longer remember what it was I had wanted to say to her, I had a strong feeling that whatever it was would've really annoyed her. I felt like I'd just been cheated out of an opportunity to get her all riled up. "Yeah, it was something really important, too."

She grinned. "Must not be that important if you forgot it so easily."

Stupid, aggravating Random. I felt a surge of irritation, accompanied by a desire to get even with Munroe for that comment she made. Without really thinking about it, my gaze settled on the dumb lollipop outfit, and a brilliant idea popped into my mind. "Speaking of important, Munroe, is that costume something you really need?"

"Well, yeah," she said, obviously confused by my question. "I mean, it is for our sketch tomorrow. And I think the costume department wants it back to work on a few kinks before it's ready for showtime..."

That was all I needed to know. "Oh, well, that's good to know." With a suave smile, I snatched up the costume. Her eyes widened in alarm. "Chad, what're you doing?"

"Oh, just borrowing," I said, giving her a wink. I held the outfit out of reach as she made a desperate grab for it. "Chad, give it back!"

I laughed. "Too slow, Random!" I dodged another of her grabs and made a break for the door, pausing only to call, "Peace out, sucka!" over my shoulder.

"Chad Dylan Cooper, get back here!" Sonny yelled, sounding exceedingly angry. This bit of knowledge made me smirk with triumph. I glanced over my shoulder to see Munroe chasing after me, looking furious. "Gotta catch me first," I taunted before saluting her and charging off.

I have to hand it to her, she didn't let me out of her sight for a second. In fact, she stayed right on my tail the whole time we were running around the studio. It was really quite impressive, actually, considering I did everything possible to ditch her somewhere. I ducked underneath some guys carrying props and weaved through a bunch of Meal or No Meal girls, and still she stayed right behind me, yelling at me angrily as she chased me. I didn't even know Munroe knew how to use language like that. Tsk.

Finally, I managed to sort of lose her somewhere by the cafeteria. I soon approached the Mack Falls stage and darted through the doors, running past a couple of my co-stars as I went. "Hey, Chad, what's up?" Trevor greeted as I skidded by him and Chloe. "What's with that weird costume you're holding?"

"Just messing with a Random," I explained quickly.

While Trevor proceeded to crack up, Chloe shot me a disapproving look. "You mean that Munroe girl, right? You know, you really shouldn't be so mean to her."

I paused to stare at her. "Since when're you on _their_ side?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Trust me, I'm not on their side. It's just that out of all the other losers, she seems nicer and normal-ish. It's hard to hate her."

"Yeah? Well, try harder," I shot back.

She frowned and opened her mouth to respond, but an angry voice cut her off. "CHAD!" I whirled around to see Sonny glowering at me from the doorway. "Give it back!"

"Gotta go," I said quickly and ran off to the safety of my dressing room. I ducked inside and was just closing the door when Sonny ran up and started pushing on the outer side of the door, yelling, "Don't you DARE close that door on me, Cooper!"

I struggled to close the door anyway, but it was pretty hard. I swear, for someone fragile like her, she can be really strong when she wants to be. "Make me!" I called childishly.

I suddenly found myself tumbling forward as Sonny gave an extra hard push on the door, which swung open to reveal her with her hands on her hips, frowning down at me. "This isn't funny, Chad," she said. She didn't sound as angry as she had earlier, but she still looked annoyed. "I want it back."

"And I want you to get out of my dressing room," I pointed out, getting to my feet and holding the costume behind my back.

Her dark eyes flashed. "I'm serious."

"So am I," I countered, grinning.

She looked like she wanted to slap me or something, but then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes again, her expression just looked pleading. "Can I please have it back, Chad?"

"No."

"Please?"

"NO."

"Pleeeaaassseee?"

"No," I practically sang. "Finders keepers, losers weepers!"

She folded her arms. "Do you _really _wanna go there, Cooper?"

I smirked. "If it gets you mad, then sure, why not?"

To my surprise, she gave me a sweet smile. "Oh, I see," she said calmly. Her casual tone reminded me of the calm right before a terrible storm came. "So you really aren't going to give it to me, huh?"

"Nope."

Sonny shrugged. "Oh, ok, then. That's fine by me."

I frowned, a bit disappointed by her lack of anger. "Really?"

She nodded, still smiling. "Sure. But just so we're being fair..."

Before I could even blink, she'd strode over to my cardboard cut-out of myself and had grabbed it by its cardboard shoulders. Then she glanced over at me. "I think I'll take this in exchange."

I felt my eyes widen. "Heck no!"

She made a pouty face. "Second thoughts, Cooper?"

I quickly tried to reorganize my facial expression into something that made me look like I could care less about my cardboard cut-out. I think I failed. I mean, that was my baby she was holding for ransom! "Pfft, what? Psh. No, of course not."

"Oh, that's too bad." She grinned. "You know, I think your twin here might like to grow a mustache." With a flick of her wrist she produced a black sharpie from her pocket.

"You're bluffing," I scoffed, attempting to sound confident.

"Maybe he'd also like a beard. Oh, and a unibrow, too," she added thoughtfully.

My jaw dropped. "You wouldn't dare!" I said, horrified.

Her grin widened. "Try me." She uncapped the sharpie and lowered it slowly to my baby's handsome face. "Here comes the airplane," she crooned, as though she was a parent feeding a child. I think she was probably trying to get on my nerves. Well, she succeeded.

I stared, half expecting her to suddenly stop and yell, "APRIL FOOLS!" But since it wasn't even April, she didn't, and I realized that she was very serious. I told myself to stay strong, but looking at my poor cardboard cut-out's face, I knew I couldn't put him through that. "Gah, fine!" I shouted, tossing the outfit onto the floor. "Take the stupid costume!"

She grinned and stepped to the side, and I immediately made a beeline for the still smiling cut-out. "Oh, baby!" I cried, seizing it and inspecting its face to double check that Sonny hadn't gotten any sharpie on it. Once I was positive it was all right, I tucked it under my arm and turned to look at Sonny, who had just picked up the weird lollipop costume and was dusting it off. "Well played, Munroe," I admitted grudgingly. "I guess I have to give you props."

She smirked at me. "Props accepted."

I rolled my eyes. "You didn't have to threaten my cardboard cut-out, though. I would've given you the dumb thing eventually."

"Yeah, right," she said, obviously not believing me. "And anyway, that was my last resort. You forced me into it," she pointed out, shrugging.

I groaned. "You're such an annoying diva."

"And you're an aggravating jerkthrob," she retorted with a smile.

As irritating as she was, I couldn't stop a grin from sliding onto my face. "Oh, please, I think we both know you love me," I said, waggling my eyebrows as she started to walk past me. She paused to shove my shoulder playfully. "You wish, Cooper."

"I don't think so."

She stuck her tongue out at me. "Yeah, well, I know so."

I tried not to laugh and failed miserably. "Get out of my dressing room, Random!"

"Don't tell me what to do!" she giggled.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Fine!"

"Fine, I'm leaving!"

"Good, get out of here!"

Unperturbed, Sonny beamed cheerfully at me, then turned on her heel and skipped off.

I watched her go, smiling, then jumped about a foot in the air when a voice said from behind me, "What was _that _about?"

I whirled around to see Chloe looking at me curiously. I spluttered incoherently for a second, then regained control of myself and asked, "Were you eavesdropping?"

She raised her eyebrows and ignored my question completely. "For someone you tell us that you despise so much, you and Sonny sure seem close."

I scoffed. "Chloe, you're new here, so I'm going to forgive you for making that ridiculous assumption. But trust me, Sonny and I loathe each other. You know how Devon hates sushi, right? Well, my hatred for Sonny is, like, ten times that." There, that should convince her.

"Is that so," she said, her face expressionless. I nodded firmly. "Yes. So don't even bring that up again. Ever."

She held up her hands appeasingly. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry. I guess I was wrong, then."

"Very wrong indeed," I agreed.

For some reason she smiled. Then her smile disappeared, and she was all business. "Ok, you've had your fun. Ready to go film?"

"I always am," I said casually, and then we walked silently back to the set.

So the lesson is this: As amazing as lollipops are, you probably shouldn't steal lollipop costumes from overly perky brunettes, because chances are it won't go down well with them.

And that's about it for today! Hope you learned a lot from my Chadly wisdom. Make sure you check out my Wisdom Center tomorrow for some more wisdom from yours truly!

Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>Review please? c:<strong>


	22. Hats

**Hey, guys! :D What's up? I'm sorry I didn't upload this sooner. I was actually going to update on my birthday last Saturday (I'm 15 now. Whoo!), but I didn't have time, what with all the studying I was doing over the weekend for exams. Sorry. xD **

**But here, at last, is the newest topic of our favorite celebrity!**

**Enjoy! :D**

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><p>Well. It seems like Sonny and I aren't fighting any more (for now). I'm a bit disppointed, actually. I was really looking forward to enacting my revenge on the Randoms for what Sonny wrote about Zac freaking Efron.<p>

Except somehow Munroe can always weaken my resolve when it comes to these things. I hate admitting that, but it's true. I don't know how she does it. This is yet another reason why I HATE her. HATE HATE HATE.

See, shortly after I arrived at the studio this morning, Sonny barged onto the Falls set (she always seems to be coming on here when she's not wanted), going, "Chad, we need to talk." And I said sarcastically, "What, you need to tell me that you're gonna spread _more_ lies all over the internet about how amazing Efron is? If so, I think I'll pass."

She frowned at me, looking upset. "No. Look, I just want to say that, well, I know you're angry."

"That's an understatement," I scoffed.

She fidgeted. "Yeah, well... even so, I don't think you should take it out on my castmates," she went on, her voice gaining a bit of confidence as she spoke. She stood up a tad straighter and gave me a defiant look, as though daring me to argue with her. "They didn't do anything. They don't even know about your blog - "

"Chadly Wisdom Center," I corrected automatically.

"Pfft. Whatever."

"And Blondie knows about it!"

"Her name's Tawni," Sonny said with a roll of her eyes. "And she doesn't count. My point is, please don't start pranking them again, because this is between you and me. Not them."

I folded my arms. "Why should I?" I asked, glaring daggers at her. "What you wrote on my Wisdom Center was highly offending, Sonny. And since pranking your friends seems to be the ultimate way to get to you, then I don't see why I have to stop. And you _did_ ask for it."

She met my gaze steadily. "Chad. Please," was all she said.

I'm not really sure if it was her expression or just the fact that her eyes looked really nice in the lighting of the room, but whatever it was, I found myself saying grudgingly, "Oh, fine. I don't want to waste my time with those losers anyway."

The genuinely grateful expression that crossed her face at that moment made me feel a bit less regretful about my decision. "Thank you, Chad!" she cried happily, and I suddenly found myself engulfed in a ginormous hug. I stiffened. Well, hell, I definitely didn't see that coming.

"Uh," I said awkwardly. Sonny quickly pulled away from me, cheeks flushing slightly, and muttered, "Sorry, force of habit."

I tried not to laugh at how embarassed she looked, but I failed. "Munroe, it's really hard to be mad at you," I chuckled.

"Then don't be!" she blurted out.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Easier said than done."

She sighed. "Chad, I'm extremely sorry for what I wrote while you were in Texas. I'm not sure what exactly it is that you're so upset about, because I honestly thought I was doing good managing your blo - Wisdom Center," she amended hastily when I narrowed my eyes at her. "But whatever it was I did wrong, I didn't mean to, and I'm truly sorry. Again."

"And the Efron thing? What about that, huh?" I snapped. "You obviously meant to tick me off with that garbage that time."

"I'm sorry for that, too," she said apologetically. She hesitated before adding, "I was kind of hurt by your reaction to my topic posts, and I got defensive and just wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine. But I see now that stooping to your level was wrong."

"Gee, thanks."

"My point is," she said quickly, "I'm sorry and would you just please forgive me already because I don't really like you being mad at me all the time, I mean, yeah, when we fight we're kind of mad, but it doesn't last for so _long_, and it's really just weird, so would you maybe - ?"

I put a finger to her lips to shut her up before she could babble me to death. "Sonny?"

Her eyes crossed as she attempted to stare at my finger on her mouth. "Hmm?"

"If I forgive you, will you please quit bugging me and go away?"

She nodded so fast I thought her head would fall off her neck and looked up at me with her big, sincere brown eyes. "Cross my heart and hope to eat pie!"

I gave her a bewildered look. "_What?_"

"Well, I certainly don't want to hope to die!" she pointed out, her expression horrified. "I never understood why anyone would say that, because who in the world even wants to - ?"

"Ok, all's forgiven," I cut in, pushing her towards the door. "Leave. And keep away from my Wisdom Center."

"No problem!" she chirped cheerfully, looking exceedingly happy. "I won't ever touch it again, unless you give me permission! And I won't write about how Efron is better than you, even though he totally is!" She grinned slyly at me.

I shot her a murderous look. "Excuse me?"

"Well, gotta go!" she giggled, practically skipping outside. "See you later, Chad, and thank you!"

Then she was gone, leaving me to wallow in my hatred for her and her stupid cuteness. Urgh.

And that is how our two day feud came to an end. Or... three day feud. I don't even know anymore.

Ok, I'm moving on from this now. I've got to get ready for my appearance on Gilderoy Smith's talk show tonight, and I really can't afford to waste any more time. So, on to the actual topic!

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Hats**

I like hats. Some of them look really cool, and they're very useful when it comes to hiding from the paparazzi. But most of the time I don't use them because they just hide the amazing-ness of my lush, blond hair.

And some hats are really just dumb. For instance, the fez. Who the hell came up with the idea for such a ridiculous, stupid looking hat? Really, it just astounds me.

And you know what hats make me think of? One of the two doofuses from the Random crew. Nico, I think his name is. He wears hats. All. The. Time. He's wearing some sort of hat 95% of the time I see him. And they're different hats every time! Who wants to waste money on _that_?

Oh, well, that actually reminds me of an example story. I may have to make this short, because the talk show isn't that far off, so bear with me, guys.

One day I happened to find my favorite tie lying on the floor of my dressing room, and I knew instantly that Sonny must have somehow snuck in and randomly tossed it there just to annoy me. Well, it worked. I picked up my tie and stormed off to the So Random set, all set to give that girl a piece of my mind.

When I got to the Prop House, I saw all the Randoms there, but no Sonny. I focused on Tawni, who I figured would know where Sonny was, since they're roommates and all, and asked, "Where's Munroe?"

She shot me a bored look. "Oh, it's you. Why am I not surprised?"

I frowned. "Cut it out, Blondie. I just want to - " I paused in what I was saying as I noticed that the other Randoms were peering underneath the sofa and thoroughly inspecting the Egyptian thingie and whatever. "Um, what are you guys doing?"

Nico's head popped up from behind a table. "We're looking for my hat," he said, sounding distressed.

I tried not to laugh, but it was hard. "A hat? Really, now? That's so tragic."

He glared at me, apparently sensing my sarcasm. "Yes, really. It's an amazing hat." His expression became slightly dreamy. "It's so cool and awesome, and I waited for ages to buy it."

"It lights up when you clap!" Grady added helpfully from where he was looking underneath a plastic cup.

Nico nodded in affirmation. "Yeah. I bought it two days ago, and now it's gone, and I have no clue where it is."

I shrugged. I had little interest in the woes of an idiot. "Ok, whatever. So where's Sonny? I have to talk to her about something."

"Why should we give you that information?" Weird Girl asked sourly from a corner of the room.

"Because I'm the best actor in this room," I said, shooting her an annoyed look. "Therefore you losers should give me anything I want."

"I beg to differ," she scoffed.

I rolled my eyes. "Look, Randoms, I'm not in the mood for playing games," I said, waving my tie around in the air to emphasize my words. "Just tell me where Sonny is."

The Randoms exchanged stony looks before frowning at me. "Or else what?" Nico asked suspiciously.

"Or else I'll break that stupid gnome," I said smoothly, nodding at the said gnome. Instantly Weird Girl zipped over to the bearded ceramic guy and growled possessively, "You touch Gnomey, you die."

"Oh, yes. Because I'm so very threatened by a pint-sized midget," I said, smirking.

Weird Girl looked like she wanted to lunge at me, but Nico and Grady held her back. Meanwhile, Blondie looked up from where she was sitting examining her nails and said in the same bored voice as before, "She's looking for Nico's hat in the cafeteria. Satisfied?"

I didn't want to waste precious breath responding to her, of all people, so I just nodded curtly and turned, about to leave. But Tawni's next words made me pause. "Chad, I really don't care what it is you want to talk to Sonny about, but don't say anything that'll burst her dorky little bubble. Ok?"

I frowned at her, forgetting for a moment that I didn't want to talk to her. "What do you mean?"

She blew on her nails and rolled her eyes at the same time. "Let's just say that this missing hat thing has made her think she's a modern day Nancy Drew or something. She's ridiculously excited about acting like a detective, so you might as well just play along with her if she asks you to do anything."

My frown deepened. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I know otherwise you'll probably go pop her dumb bubble and then she'll be upset and come running to me for comfort. And I don't do comforting," she snapped. I thought she sounded a tad bit over-defensive. I raised an eyebrow. "Riiighhhttt. Anyway..." I flashed them all a smile and yelled, "Peace out, suckas!" before darting out of their Prop House.

Anyway, by the time I'd left the So Random area, Blondie's words had already slipped out of my mind, and I'd resumed being ticked off at Sonny for what she did to my tie. I'd actually completely forgotten about the whole Nancy Drew thing she'd mentioned until I happened to slam into someone as I was turning a corner. "Ow! Watch where you're goi - !" I stopped abruptly and stared.

"Hi, Chad!" Sonny said brightly, beaming at me through a magnifying glass that made her already big eyes look even huger. "What's up?"

"What. Are. You. Wearing?" I somehow managed to say through my repressed laughter and eyed her awful looking plaid trenchcoat and cap. She looked like a female Sherlock Holmes. Not kidding. Even though the outfit was the same horrible green color as puke, Sonny still pulled it off ok. Don't ask me how this is possible. However, it was still incredibly hard not to bust out laughing at how ridiculous she looked in it.

"My detective outfit!" she chirped brightly. "Isn't it cool?"

Cool? I couldn't help it. My laughter just exploded out of me. Sonny raised her eyebrows and placed her hands on her hips, watching me with an indignant expression as I cracked up. "What's so funny?"

I tried to get ahold of myself. "Sonny, why the heck are you dressed like that?"

She glanced around the hallway as if she was afraid we might be overheard, then whispered, "I'm solving a mystery! Nico's hat went missing, so I'm looking for clues to find out what happened to it." She grinned. "I think I'm about to bust this case wide open!"

Tawni's words came back to me. Right. "Ok..." I said dubiously. "Are you sure you even know what you're doing?"

"Of course!" she said, beaming. "I used to read Nancy Drew books all the time, and I've learned a ton about solving mysteries from her. I'm now capable of noticing tiny details that may make a big impact on the course of our lives," she added very seriously, and I had to struggle to keep my face straight. She frowned when she saw my mouth twitching, then shrugged and went on. "For example, I see that you're holding your tie in your hand, which is really weird because you never do that. Is something wrong?"

Oh, yeah, I wanted to yell at her about my tie being on the germ infested floor. Right. I narrowed my eyes fiercely and opened my mouth to give her a piece of my mind, but then I remembered what Blondie had told me in the Prop House. I hesitated. Sonny seemed so excited about this, like a little kid who'd just walked into a toy store for the first time, and it really would've been a shame to mess up her joyfulness.

And anyway, maybe she hadn't tossed my tie on the floor. Maybe Devon had done it. Or Trevor. Or maybe that Mack Falls girl who never talks. Don't mute people do things like that to express their frustration at not being able to speak? I dunno.

Either way, I found myself saying lamely, "Oh, yeah, well... it was kind of strangling me, so I just... took it off. I guess."

"Oh." She frowned briefly. "Well, ok." Her eyes lit up as though she'd just had an idea, and she tugged eagerly on my sleeve. "Ooh, Chad, would you maybe like to help me on the case? Huh huh huh? It'll be so much fun!"

I'd love to say that I said no. Because I really, truly wanted to say no. I had _much_ better things to do than spend my time with the bubbly, hyper ball of sunshine. "Sure, I haven't got anything better to do." Ah, hell.

She beamed at me. "Yay! You'll be my partner, then." She dramatically raised her fist and yelled, "Let's go solve a crime!"

I winced. "Can we not advertise it to the world, please?"

She ignored me and started walking off, already chattering away about the clues she'd gathered so far. Something about a preacher man wearing a sombrero and a donkey with a beard. I don't even know, I was barely paying attention. I just strode along beside her, nodding and saying, "Uh huh" every time she paused in her endless babble to take a breath.

Suddenly, as we were entering the cafeteria, she stopped abruptly, and I almost slammed into her for the second time that day. "Hello, I'm walking here!" I said, annoyed. "Be considerate of other people, Random!" Before I could say anything more, she dove behind the wall and then cautiously poked her head around the corner to stare at something in the cafeteria.

"Uh, what are you doi - ?" I started to ask, then let out a small yell of surprise as she yanked me down to the ground beside her. "Chad, don't talk so loud!" she whisper-yelled, making a shush-ing motion with her finger. "We're in the middle of solving a crime. We have to be totally secretive and inconspicious!"

"Inconspicious. Right. Because that trenchcoat you've got on is _so _inconspicious," I said sarcastically, giving her outfit a pointed look. She huffed in a defensive way. "My _point_ is, be quiet." She peered out around the wall again, then drew back and nodded firmly. "I was right. She has Nico's hat."

"Who does?" Curiously, I looked around the wall. At first I had no idea who Sonny was jabbering about. Then I saw a little girl, sitting in a corner, eating a slice of cake, and wearing this God-awful hat.

Who was this innocent looking little girl?

Dakota. Freaking. Condor.

Yeah. If you remember from my past topic on dolphins, I think you know that there is nothing innocent about that brat.

I retreated back behind the wall. "That has to be the stupidest hat I've ever seen," I remarked casually, then ducked as Sonny tried to whack me on my head. "Nico paid a lot of money for that!" she admonished me. "So don't be so mean."

I snorted. "Whatever."

She scoffed at me before tapping her magnifying glass thoughtfully. "So Dakota is wearing Nico's hat..." She trailed off, then whipped her head around to look at me. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Watson?" she asked in a terrible British accent.

"I'm thinking my name's not Watson."

Ignoring me, she said in a hushed voice, "Dakota must be the thief!"

"Wow. You are brilliant. How in the world did you possibly figure that out?" I said flatly, my voice practically seeping with sarcasm.

Somehow she completely missed my sarcasm and flashed me a bright smile. "Elementary, my dear Watson."

"Would you quit calling me Watson?"

She stroked her chin. "Would you rather I called you Ned Nickerson?"

"Isn't that Nancy Drew's boyfriend or something?" I asked dubiously.

"Yes," she said, looking dreamy. "He's so sweet."

I made a face. "Ugh. I'll pass, thanks."

She shot me an irritated look, looking like she wanted to yell at me for dissing some stupid "sweet" fictional character, then froze. "Ah, Dakota just came out! Hide!"

"There's nowhere to hide," I pointed out. She flailed her arms around uselessly in the air. "Well... act like a tree then and hope she doesn't notice us!"

I shook my head. "You suck at this detective thing, Munroe."

"I do NOT!"

Someone cleared their throat from behind us. Both of us quit talking abruptly and looked over our shoulders to see Dakota standing there, tapping her foot and frowning at us. "I can hear you, you know," she said matter-of-factly.

I hurriedly stood up. I mean, as much as I hate the kid, she _is _my boss's daughter, so it's always right to show the utmost respect. "Hey, Dakota! I'm loving the new hat," I said, giving her a suave smile. The little brat smiled slyly. "Thank you, Chhhaaadddd!" The way she drew out my name like that was really creepy. Just saying.

Sonny hopped up beside me. "That's not your hat!" she said accusingly. "That's Nico's!"

Dakota raised her eyebrow. "Really?"

Sonny nodded empathetically. "Yes! You stole it! You - mmff!" The rest of Sonny's words came out muffled as I slapped my hand over her mouth and grinned apologetically at Dakota. "Sorry, she's kind of delirious right now. Thinks she's Sherlock Holmes... OUCH!" I released my hand from Sonny's face and shook it. "You bit me!"

"You asked for it," Sonny responded before turning to Dakota and saying, "Look, Dakota, I know that's his hat, ok? Now Nico spent a lot of money on that, and he really loves it and cherishes it and he really, really misses it. Do you think you could give it back? Please?" She gave Dakota a hopeful smile.

"It's really hard to take you seriously in that cap of yours," Dakota commented off-handedly.

I had a sudden desire to say, "Look who's talking!", but I didn't feel like getting involved. And, also, if I defended Sonny like that, she might mistakenly think I cared for her, which... I don't.

"Please, Dakota. Look down deep inside yourself," Sonny said pleadingly. "You know it's wrong to steal. You _know_ it."

After a few seconds of just looking at her, Dakota shrugged. "Maybe. But I made a bet with that doofus, and I lost. I NEVER lose a bet. Ever," she said, glaring at Sonny. "So yesterday I snuck into his dressing room and took the dumb hat as revenge. He deserved it."

"Well, yeah, but... now he's sad." I almost facepalmed at how lame Munroe sounded.

"Good!" Dakota grinned hugely.

For a moment Sonny looked like she was about to give up, but then her face brightened, and she grabbed ahold of my arm. "If you give back the hat, Chad'll let you hang out with him for the whole day!"

"Chad'll do _what_ now?" I asked incredulously, staring at Sonny.

"DEAL!" Dakota squealed, flinging the hat aside and launching herself at my leg. I internally groaned as she clung tightly to my ankle, then gave Sonny the look of death. "I am so getting back at you for this."

She picked up the ugly hat, dusted it off, and smiled at me. "Thanks for your help, Ned!" she giggled, then turned and skipped off. "I owe you one!" she called over her shoulder as she left.

"Don't call me that! Sonny, get back here, don't leave me alone with this kid! SONNY!"

Long story short, I ended up having to spend the whole day with that horrible child, all because of Sonny. I'll spare you the gory details.

One thing's for sure: If Sonny asks me to help her on some detective thing one day in the future, I'm saying NO.

Never.

Again.

Ok, so that seems to be all the time I can afford to put into this topic. Lesson of the day: Don't buy ugly hats. Just... don't. Not only do you look retarded in them, but if you lose them, there's a chance that you just might have to go through what I went through.

Well, hoped you learned loads! And make sure you all watch me on Gotcha! with Gilderoy Smith tonight!

Oh... I just remembered I didn't get a chance to read that Dr. Seuss book. Oops. Eh, I'll just wing it.

Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>Review, please! The more reviews he gets, the faster Chad will update. ;D<strong>

**Oh, and just in case another chapter isn't uploaded any time soon, merry early Christmas to all of you! C: **

**~Ginger**


	23. Cats

**Hey, guys! How was your Christmas? Mine was great C: Ahh, I love having no school.**

**Anyway, here's a new chapter for you guys! I sure hope you like it, considering that I'm not entirely too happy with it. But it's good enough.**

**Enjoy! :D**

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><p>That talk show. Was. AWFUL. Not only is Gilderoy Smith a pinhead, but his show is pointless and dumb and no one should watch it.<p>

In fact, we should all BOYCOTT it. Yeah, that's a great idea! The sooner we stop watching it, the faster it'll get canceled. Perfect!

And you know what's the worst part of the whole talk show? I didn't even get to talk about my book! Well, ok, I didn't actually read the book in the first place, so there probably wouldn't have been much to talk about, but... even so! Jeez, I can't believe that Gilderoy jerk make me waste my time like that. I could've been doing way better things, like memorizing my script or getting a massage to ease off all my tension from this past week, but _noooo_.

Anyway... for all of you that actually watched the show last night, I apologize. I'm sure you were very disappointed by how little attention I receieved there, since I know I'm basically the only reason why you even bothered to tune into that lame excuse for a talk show.

And I still fail to understand why Gilderoy Smith was doing a segment on the Randoms. Pfft. Those losers are always trying to steal my spotlight. When will they learn that it is against the laws of nature to try and outshine the greatest actor of his generation?

...Oh, and I'm sure some of you are probably wondering what happened with Sonny and me after we went backstage during the "commercial break", but... I'm not going to tell you. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to tell you guys, but Sonny and I made a pact to keep that whole conversation a secret. And if I went and blurted out our private conversation to the world, she might go diva-crazy on me. I really don't need that happening right now, so... yeah.

Then again... you are my loyal, trustworthy fans, and I'm sure you would be able to keep your lips sealed if I told you about it.

Hmm... I don't know. I'll think about it, I suppose.

Moving on. I don't want to dwell on this any longer, especially when I have a topic I need to start on.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Cats**

I don't really like cats too much. But I guess, in a way, I kind of admire them. I mean, they are very independant and intelligent (like me). The complete opposite of dogs, who're always chasing you around and annoying the crap out of you and drooling and blegh. Cats don't do that, which is why I think they're better than dumb mutts.

I hate when they rub on my legs, though. And when they purr. And when they freaking leave their fur everywhere! Why would anyone want a pet that sheds nonstop? Like those crazy cat ladies who own twenty-something cats. Doesn't all that fur bug them? And more importantly, don't they have better things to do than pamper some stupid cat all day? I swear, it baffles me to no end.

But even with all that, cats are still _much_ better than dogs. _Anything _is better than dogs. But even so, that doesn't make me want to go cuddle with some random cat off the street. Uh, those things could have diseases!

You know what? Take my advice and just avoid cute and furry animals in general. You'd be better off if you did.

Now. Story time.

So one day at Condor Studios, this idiot (who shall remain nameless) that worked on Mack Falls as a stagehand or something spilled some kind of juice all over me. Outraged, I set off to find Mr. Condor, to complain about the poor workers and advise him to fire the said idiot.

I never actually got the chance to complain to the big boss, though, because a few minutes after I'd stepped foot off the set, I heard someone behind me yell, "Chad, wait up!" I could recognize that perky voice from anywhere. I internally groaned and rolled my eyes, because I really didn't have the time to put up with her at that moment, but I grudgingly waited for Munroe to run up to me, even though I was just itching to run in the opposite direction.

She came to a stop in front of me and bent down to put her hands on her knees, panting slightly from all the effort she'd exerted into running after me. I eyed her warily with my arms folded and a frown on my face. "What do you want, Sonny? I have some important business to attend to, so make this snappy."

She held up one finger as she gasped for air, and I waited impatiently until she straightened up, pushed back her hair, and stared hard at me. "Chad, are you trying to prank me again?"

"Huh?" I asked, completely taken aback by this unexpected question.

"Because if you are, I don't think it's very funny," she went on, placing one hand on her hip and glaring at me.

"I have no clue what you're yakking about," I said coolly.

Uncertainty crossed her face. "So... you didn't send it?"

"No," I scoffed, shrugging. "Send what?"

"Oh. Um." Sonny squirmed uncomfortably, looking a bit embarassed now. She took a deep breath before blurting out in a rush, "Well, there was some chocolate and flowers for me at the front desk today from some secret admirer or something, and I thought maybe you had sent it just to get on my nerves or something, though I guess Tawni was right and that was some pretty weird reasoning, but still, I guess I was sort of hoping - I mean - I don't know what I mean," she finished lamely.

I was silent for a few moments, trying to process what she'd just said. "Wait... you have a secret admirer?"

She bobbed her head up and down. "Apparently. That's what it said so on the card, anyway."

Oddly enough, this information caused me to feel a twinge of annoyance. "Why would anyone want to be your secret admirer?"

She briefly looked offended, but instead of slapping me (the way I'd expected her to react), she just sighed and shrugged. "I dunno, but I'm really curious to know who he is."

I snorted derisively and started to turn away from her, but then I paused as a thought occured to me. I slowly faced her again, a grin on her face. "So you were hoping _I _was your secret admirer?"

She gaped at me for a second. Then her cheeks reddened slightly, and she spluttered, "What? Pfft! No! I didn't say that!"

"You implied it," I pointed out, smirking.

"No, I didn't! You're twisting my words around," she huffed. "Like I said, I just thought you'd sent it to annoy me and rub it in my face about how a loser like me doesn't have secret admirers or something. Because that's totally something you would do. Trust me, you are the _last _person I want to send me chocolates and flowers."

I eyed her dubiously. "Right."

She quickly and obviously changed the subject. "So where're you going, Chad?"

I glanced over my shoulder as I remembered what I'd come out to do. "I'm going to talk to Mr. Condor about some of the terrible workers here."

"Oh. Well, that's nice. Can I come with you?"

"No way, Munroe," I said, giving her the fiercest glare I could possibly give her, which she returned with a sweet smile. "Please, Chad? I won't bug you." Yeah, right. "Besides, I think my friends are mad at me for leaving them to come over and ask you about that... thing, so I really haven't got anywhere else to go."

"As much as I'd love to hang out with your perky, irritating self, I think I'm going to have to pass," I responded, waving her away. This was when promptly clung to my arm and refused to let go unless I allowed her to tag along with me. She was being really stubborn and aggravating, so after yelling at her for a while without making any progress, I just gave up and said yes, which made her squeal like a kid in delight (naturally).

Of course, I really didn't want to bring her with me to go see Mr. Condor, because she probably would have found some way to ruin my meeting with him and get me fired. I have a very strong feeling that that is what would have happened. So I decided that I'd just hold off talking with Mr. C until later and instead escort Sonny to the cafeteria to get a cookie or something. And possibly ditch her along the way.

Anyway, as we were walking and bickering down the hallway, I heard a strange noise. I lifted an eyebrow at Sonny. "Munroe, I know you like to bawk and everything, but _meowing_? Don't you think that's just a little too much?"

Sonny's brow furrowed. "I'm not meowing."

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you - " I broke off as I heard yet another small mewing noise. It suddenly became quite apparent that the noise wasn't coming from Sonny. "There it is again!"

Sonny's eyes widened, which I guess means she heard the meowing, too, and she dropped down to her knees and began to crawl around the floor, cooing, "Here, kitty kitty kitty!"

"Sonny," I said, exasperated. "Quit crawling on the floor, you look like a fool."

Predictably, she ignored my wise words of advice. "Chad, help me look for the kitty!"

I rolled my eyes. "Sure." I glanced around the hallway, then said flatly, "Oh, darn, I don't see anything. That's too bad. Let's go." I tugged on her arm, but she shoved my hand away. "No! I'm going to find that kitty if it's the last thing I do!"

I involuntarily let out a loud groan. "Jeez, Munroe, what is it with you and animals?"

Instead of replying, Sonny gasped and yanked me down to the ground beside her. "Chad, Chad, there it is!" She eagerly pointed at a large potted plant. "Look, it's hiding behind that plant! Oh my gosssssh, isn't it so _cute_?"

...yeah, ok. So the ridiculously fluffy, orange kitten crouched behind the plant _was _a bit cute, I suppose. But as I've said before, cute things are always dangerous. And possibly evil, like dolphins. So I would've been more than happy to kick the kitten and then run as far away as I could.

Before I could voice this aloud, though, Sonny scooted closer to where the kitten was. It shrank away from her, and its fur started to bristle slightly. "Awh, don't be scared," Sonny crooned, holding out her hand in front of the kitten palm up, like she expected it to give her a high-five or something. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

I was exasperated. "Sonny, just leave the dumb cat alone. Can't you see it doesn't like you?"

"Shh!" Sonny glared at me, then turned her gaze back on the kitten. "C'mon, don't be shy, sweetie."

The cat poked its head out from behind the plant and warily sniffed Sonny's fingers, then tentatively padded closer toward her. Sonny waited patiently in her crouched position, blinking down at the fuzzy little creature, until finally the kitten brushed up against her legs. Then I guess she couldn't take it anymore, and with a squeak of joy she snatched it up and cuddled it to her chest. "You're SO cute! Yes, you are! _Yes, you are!_" she giggled in a stupid baby-ish voice.

"Sonny, don't touch it, it might have tons of diseases!" I exclaimed, appalled. She glanced at me, a goofy grin on her face that just got wider when the orange ball of fluff rubbed its head against her chin and purred. "Oh, please, Chad, something this cute couldn't possibly have a disease! Right, kitty?" She kissed the top of the kitten's head.

I rolled my eyes, then inspected the hallway, to see if there was anyone around who might have possibly lost a cat. "How'd that thing get in here, anyway?"

"It must've snuck in when someone opened the front door and got scared by all the people," Sonny said reasonably, still gazing adoringly down at the kitten. "It's just the cutest thing!"

"You said that already."

"I wish I could just stuff you in my jacket and take you home with me!" Sonny continued to say to the cat, who was purring very loudly now. Both Sonny's conversation with the dumb cat and the fluffball's purring was getting on my nerves. "Too bad my apartment doesn't allow pets," Munroe went on, frowning.

"Yeah, what a shame," I said in a fake sympathetic voice. "Oh, well, better leave the thing here. Let's go..."

"Oh, Chad, you're such a party pooper!" Sonny laughed, then picked up the kitten and looked underneath it. Surprise crossed her expression. "It's a girl! That's so weird! It's really rare for a ginger cat to be a girl, because - "

"As much as I'd love to hear the biology lesson, didn't you want to go get a cookie?" I interrupted impatiently.

Instead of answering, Sonny just hugged the kitten closer to her body and said proudly, "I'm gonna name her Ginger! That's an awesome name, huh?"

Ginger. For a ginger cat. How original. "If I say yes, will you put the dumb cat down?"

Sonny frowned and looked like she was about to snap something at me, but then the cat started to meow insistently at us. "Ugh, does that thing have an off button?" I asked, covering my ears and glaring at Ginger, who just kept yowling up a storm.

"Chad, I think she's hungry," Sonny said. "Maybe we should feed her."

"Oh, sure. Let me just grab some spare cat food from my dressing room," I said sarcastically.

Sonny looked thoughtful, then her face suddenly lit up. "Ooh, maybe they've got something in the cafeteria that she can eat! C'mon, Chad, let's go!" Without warning, she yanked hard on my coat sleeve and pretty much dragged me halfway across the studio, turning a deaf ear on my indignant yells. The nerve of her.

When we got to the cafeteria, she stopped by the doorway and looked at me. "Chad, I'm gonna go buy Ginger some food. Can you wait here with her?"

No. Way. In. Hell. "I don't think s - "

"Great, thanks!" she cut in, beaming at me and plopping the cat into my arms. I yelped and almost dropped it. "Ah, jeez, take it back, I don't want to touch it!"

"Don't be such a sissy, Cooper," she said, smirking at me. I attempted to regain my composure, even though I really did not like the fact that the stupid cat was digging into my shoulder with its claws and was probably shedding all over my brand new coat. "I'm not a sissy."

"Good."

"Good."

"Good."

"Good."

She gave me a big smile and patted the shoulder that the cat wasn't clinging to. "I'll be back in a jiffy." Then she scratched the kitten under its chin before scampering off to the lunch line, leaving me with the little beast.

I awkwardly attempted to pry Ginger's claws away from my coat, but that didn't really work out. I huffed. "Stupid cat. It figures that Sonny had to go and find you and then dump you on _me_."

Ginger's green eyes stared up at me blankly up at me as I continued to rant, "I mean, she knows I don't like cats. Only people like that So Random teacher like cats. I don't like cats. I hate them. Yeah, ok, you're cute, but I'm sure that's just some sort of facade to trick me, like with those dumb dolphins." I scoffed. "Yeah, I've learned my lesson about that. So quit giving me those goo-goo eyes!" I glared at the cat fiercely, hoping that maybe my piercing gaze would cause it to die of fright, and then I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.

Instead of doing that, though, the cat meowed loudly, then started up its purring engine. I rolled my eyes. "Seriously? Is that all you do? Purr?"

My only response was more purring. I sighed, feeling resigned all of a sudden, then lightly patted its head. "Pfft. I guess you aren't _that _bad. If only you'd just quit purring and shedding." I scratched it behind the ears, which made it purr even louder, if that was possible. Since it still wasn't making any move to attack me or anything, I tentatively stroked the fluffy fur on its back. "At least you aren't biting me."

It was weird how petting some stupid animal could be so relaxing. As I waited for Sonny to come back with food for Ginger, I kind of talked to her. Well, not really 'talked' to her. Only crazy people talk to animals. I simply expressed my thoughts aloud, and the cat just happened to be my only audience.

"What kind of idiot would want to be Sonny's secret admirer?" I asked while I petted Ginger. "I mean, she's a Random, and the Randoms are horrible actors. And... she's not that great looking. I've seen girls way more attractive. Ok, sure, Sonny's actually really cute, but... well... oh, I don't have to explain myself to you." I slapped my forehead, feeling like an idiot myself. But I continued talking, anyway. "And chocolates and flowers? How corny is that? You know what that tells me? Whoever this guy is, he must be an uncreative, talentless loser. Yep."

Ginger meowed and bumped my chin with her forehead. I sighed and leaned against the wall. "Get off my back, cat. I don't know why I care, I just do. Not that much, mind you, but... maybe a tiny bit. That's not a crime, is it?" I clutched the cat closer to me. "And no, that does not mean I like her. I just happen to be concerned about her well-being."

An image popped into my mind at that moment of Selena Gomez, saying in a snooty, know-it-all voice, "Oh, please, Chad. You may be the greatest actor of your generation, but when it comes to Miss Exploding Ball Of Sunshine, everyone can see right through you."

Irritated by this image, I hauled the cat up and waved her around in the air as a sort of protection, yelling, "BEGONE, WIZARD!"

"Uh... Chad? What're you doing?"

I froze, still dangling the cat in front of me, and glanced to my left to see Munroe standing there with a piece of chicken and a cookie in her hands. She was gaping at me. I felt my cheeks start to burn, and I quickly put the cat on the ground. "Oh, um, I was just... practicing some lines." I chuckled nervously. "You know, for Mack Falls. We'll be filming a Halloween episode soon."

She shot me a dubious look, then shrugged and knelt down on the ground. "Ginger, I got you some food!" She waved the piece of chicken around in the air. Instantly, the cat zoomed off towards her. It didn't seem to be interested in the chicken, though. Instead, it made a beeline for the cookie Sonny held in her other hand. Sonny managed to hold the cookie out of reach just as Ginger tried to bat it out of her grip.

"No, Ginger!" Sonny scolded the kitten lightly. "That's not for you! Cookies aren't good for cats!"

Ginger's insistent meowing sounding aggravated, which made me laugh. "I don't think the cat really cares."

Sonny rolled her eyes in my direction. "Here, take the cookie." She held it out to me, and I took it. Then Sonny picked up the kitten and set it down gently in her lap, breaking pieces off of the chicken and holding them out to Ginger. "Here ya go, Ginger, eat up."

Ginger didn't seem to want to eat up, but I guess she really was starving, because after staring longingly at the cookie I held, she turned, snatched some chicken out of Sonny's hand, and began chowing down.

Without really thinking about it, I knelt down beside Sonny and patted Ginger as she ate. I was still deep in thought about something or other, but Sonny's voice yanked me back into reality. "You seem to really be getting along with Ginger," she said, smiling softly at me.

I looked back at her, stunned, before laughing. "Getting along with the cat? Psh! Yeah, right."

"I'm serious! You're actually petting her now. And awhile ago you were, like, dancing with her."

I quickly pulled my hand away from Ginger before scoffing and saying, "Please, I was not dancing."

"Then what were you doing?"

"I already told you, I was rehearsing a scene!" I lied.

"Whatever." Sonny went quiet for a second, then spoke up again. "Are you sure you don't like Ginger? Because if you do, maybe you could take her home with you."

"Even if I liked the cat, which I don't, I couldn't. My mom's allergic," I said, shrugging.

"Oh." She seemed disappointed. "Well, what are we gonna do with her?"

I shrugged again.

After a few more moments of blissful silence, Sonny snapped her fingers eagerly. "Chad, I got an idea! How about we go outside the studio and see if someone wants to adopt Ginger? We could let people pet her and play with her and stuff, and if they seem like they'd take really good care of her, we could give her away and she would have a good home! Doesn't that sound like a good idea?"

I didn't respond for a second, and when I did I just said, "Oh. Yeah, ok." I didn't want to admit it, but I really had no desire to give Ginger away. It wasn't like I'd gotten attached or anything. Pfft, please. I just... well... oh, never mind.

So, after feeding Ginger (who apparently still wanted that cookie, for some strange reason, so Sonny had to quickly stuff it in her mouth before Ginger could steal it away), we headed back to the Prop House. Sonny's friends were kind of cold towards her at first, but when they saw the cat they pretty much thawed out and went all gaga over it (except Blondie, she started screeching about how she didn't want fur on her outfit). They helped us find a box to put Ginger in, and then we all searched for something to keep the cat busy with while we were trying to get people to adopt her. We found a yarn ball, one of those little laser pointer thingies, and a stuffed mouse among the many props in that place. As soon as we'd gathered everything together, Sonny and I said goodbye to her loser friends and headed outside of the studio.

Once we got past the front doors, I set up the table that Sonny had pretty much forced me to drag along, then Sonny plopped the box on top of the table. Ginger poked her head out of the box and meowed cheerfully at us. Sonny grinned at her. "That's right, Ginger, we're going to get someone to adopt you!" She switched her grin on me. "Don't worry, Chad, we'll get someone great to adopt her!"

"I'm not worried," I protested. Sonny just shook her head in response and turned away from me.

Over the course of the next hour, some people came over to check out the kitten. Most of them were people who worked at the studio, and others were visitors. But none of them wanted her. Well, ok, I'm lying, maybe three people wanted her, but I used my brilliant deductive reasoning to point out to Sonny different ways that I thought they weren't capable of owning a cat.

Either way, none of those people got her, which was just fine with me.

Later on, as I was danging a string of yarn in front of Ginger's face, Sonny perched on the edge of the table and sighed, looking upset. "We still haven't gotten anyone to take Ginger away. And it's starting to get late, too."

Ginger leapt for the string, missed, and tumbled back into the box, letting out a squeak of indignation. I chuckled before glancing over at Munroe. "Well, maybe it's a sign. Maybe we should just let her stay at the studio or something."

Sonny stared at me. "Are you crazy? Condor Studios is not a safe place for a poor, defenseless kitten!"

"Well, I don't know about Chuckle City, but Mack Falls is definitely a safe place," I remarked. "I could keep her in my dressing room."

She was already shaking her head. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"_I _do," I retorted.

She glared at me. "Quit being so selfish and think about Ginger for a moment! Do you really think she'd like being cooped up in your dressing room? What if you got distracted staring at your reflection and completely forgot to feed her?"

"That would not happen!"

"You say that now, but what if it actually does happen?"

We were both glaring at each other by now, and we probably would've gotten in a full-blown argument if a voice off to the side hadn't squealed at that moment, "OH MY GOSH, IT'S CHAD DYLAN COOPER!"

Sonny and I both turned our heads to stare at the girl dashing over towards us. She was maybe a few years younger than we were, with shoulder length, dark brown hair and quite a bit of bracelets dangling from both of her arms. She came to a stop next to me and hopped up and down, her brown eyes glinting with excitement. "It's really you! It's really you!" she kept saying over and over again.

I gave her my charming signature smile. "Yes, it's me. It's ok, I understand how incredibly mindblowing it is to be in my presence."

Beside me, Sonny scoffed. "Keep dreaming, Chad," she muttered, which made me glare at her. The brunette girl turned to see who I was looking at, and then she squealed some more, practically bouncing off the walls now. "AAHHH, IT'S SONNY MUNROE! OH MY GOSH!" She siezed Sonny in a humongous hug and cried out, "Oh my gosh, Sonny, you're my role model and So Random is so awesome ever since you replaced Mandy and I want to be _just _like you one day and I can't believe you're here with Chad Dylan Cooper, this is so awesome!"

Sonny looked a tad startled at first, but then she beamed, an incredibly pleased look crossing her face. "Awh," she said, hugging the girl back. "Thank you! I'm really honored to be your role model."

I almost snorted with laughter at that, but Sonny glared at me over the top of the girl's head, so I shut up.

The girl pulled away, flailing her arms around in the air. "I can't believe I'm actually meeting you guys! You're, like, my favorite celebrities ever! And you both had so much chemistry that one time Chad guest starred on So Random and aahhh!" The girl seemed to be running out of things to say, so she just continued to bounce up and down excitedly.

I smiled. "So what's your name?"

She looked like she was about to explode with joy. "Vanessa."

"It's nice to meet you, Vanessa," Sonny and I said at the same time, then exchanged glares. Vanessa grinned. "Same here! Wow, I never thought something like this would ever happen to me! I feel so lucky." She dug around in her slingbag for a moment, then pulled out a slightly wrinkled piece of paper that was half covered with doodles and a pen. "Can I have your autographs?"

Sonny and I both nodded, then grabbed for the pen at the same time. We both fought over the pen for a bit (Sonny won, I'm ashamed to say), then signed the paper and handed it back to Vanessa, who said happily, "Thank you!" It was at that point, I think, that Vanessa noticed Ginger meowing away in the box beside me. Her eyes widened, and she moved closer to the box. "Is that a kitten?"

"Yeah," Sonny said, smiling. "Her name's Ginger. We found her in the studio today, so we're giving her away to someone who could take really good care of her."

Vanessa stroked Ginger in a slightly reverant way. "She's so adorable! Oh, I think she likes me!" she exclaimed as Ginger started to purr. "Do you think I could have her?"

"Of course!" Sonny said brightly.

"No way," I said flatly at the same time.

Sonny frowned at me, then told Vanessa, "Ignore him, he's having issues. Go ahead, take her. I'm sure you'll give her a really good home."

Vanessa grinned back at her, then proceeded to try and pick up the box. She sort of failed, though, since I stubbornly tugged the box toward me. The girl looked kind of hurt, but I didn't care. She could NOT have Ginger. Sonny glanced at me, then at the cat, who was still purring up a storm. "Excuse me," she mumbled to Vanessa, then moved over to my side and hissed in my ear, "Chad, what're you doing?"

"She can't have her. She's completely unfit to take care of Ginger," I retorted firmly.

Sonny's gaze softened. "Chad, you really do like Ginger, don't you?"

"Heck no," I scoffed.

Sonny gently touched my arm. "Vanessa's gonna give her a really good home, I promise. Ginger'll be very happy."

As I stared at her uncomprehendingly, Sonny went on softly, "It's time to let her go."

I hesitated, glancing down at Ginger, who gazed back at me trustingly. I stroked the top of her head, then backed away from the box. "Take good care of her," I told Vanessa grudgingly. She beamed and hauled up the box, looking down at Ginger lovingly, which made me feel a bit better. "Thank you both so much! This was the best day ever! Bye, Sonny! Bye, Chad!" Giving us one last grin, she turned and ran off with Ginger.

I stared after them until Sonny's voice beside me said, "You did a good thing."

I shrugged. "Yeah. Well. It doesn't matter."

"To you it does," she pointed out.

I snorted. "Fine, it does. You know, if you hadn't gone and come to me about that stupid secret admirer thing, we never would've found that dumb cat and life would've gone on smoothly. But nooo."

"So it's my fault now?" she asked incredulously.

"Well, it's never Chad Dylan Cooper's fault," I retorted, and Sonny grinned. "You're referring to yourself in third person again! See, there's the Chad I know and sometimes get along with!"

I almost smiled, and she bumped my shoulder lightly with her fist. "Hey, Ginger'll be fine. And anyway, I'm sure you'll find another cat you'll love just as much one day."

"I doubt that."

"I don't."

"That's because you're mental."

"At least I'm not a spoiled brat like you."

"Oh, no you DIDN'T, Munroe!"

And so we bantered playfully some more for a bit until we finally parted ways.

So, yes. I suppose I felt a bit of affection towards that cat. I'm so over it now, though, I swear. Dumb cat.

Anyway, that's about all the Chadly wisdom for today! And I'll think about whether or not I should tell you guys what happened backstage at that awful talk show. Don't get your hopes up too high, though, because I might not. Then again, I might. I don't really know. But I'll make my decision by the next time I update.

Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>Oh, yes, I inserted myself and my cat character into the story. Go me.<strong>

**Anyway, thank you guys for reading! I really appreciate how supportive you all have been so far. :3**

**If I get at least 12 reviews for this chapter, I'll upload the next one by the end of this week. ;D So review, please!**

**~Ginger**


	24. Let's Talk

**Holy craaappp, I got past 300 reviews already. :o I can't even express how cool this is.**

**Anywho... here's the one most of you have probably been waiting for. xD I did my best. Hopefully I did it justice. Well, enjoy!**

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><p>Ok, so I've decided that I will reveal to you what happened during Gilderoy's stupid little talk show. I figured that since you're my beloved fans, you deserve to know what went on backstage. If Munroe gets mad at me, then she'll just have to deal with it.<p>

And also, didn't she say once that she's never going to read any of my other topics since, according to her, they're stupid (which is completely untrue in every way)? Based on that knowledge, she won't have any idea that I discussed this with you. So technically, it'll be like I'm not even breaking our pact. If you look at the situation a certain way, anyway.

Besides, I'm Chad Dylan Cooper! I'm not going to let some Random influnce my decisions, no matter how cute that said Random happens to be.

So there.

Ok, here we go. Hope I don't end up regretting this.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On What Actually Happened Behind The Scenes During Gilderoy's Idiotic Talk Show, Which, By The Way, Should Be Canceled Because It's Pointless And Dumb**

Before I go into this, I just want to remind you that what I say must NEVER get out. Never. What happens in the Wisdom Center stays in the Wisdom Center, ok? Good. I know I can trust you guys.

All right, then. I'll start from right after Gilderoy showed that video of Sonny and me (I wonder where he got that from? Stupid Gilderoy. On the bright side, I looked and sounded extremely good in the video, don't you agree?).

"Still, it seems the two of you have a little something-something going on," Gilderoy said smugly in response to Sonny's shocked outburst to the video. "Care to comment?"

I peered at Sonny anxiously, wondering what she was going to say.

"Yep," she said, giving Gilderoy a sweet (and totally fake) smile. Then she turned her head toward the crowd and finished, "Right after this commercial break!"

Gilderoy looked confused. "We're not taking a break."

Sonny, still smiling, grabbed my wrist in a tight hold that almost bruised my arm, "Well, we are. Let's go," she added to me. I was going to protest, since I still hadn't gotten to talk about my book yet, but judging from her glare she seemed kind of ticked off. And ticked off Sonny isn't really someone you want to mess with. So I, being the gracious person that I am, kindly allowed her to drag me off the stage.

Behind us, Tawni's voice went, "You're leaving me here by myself?"

"Yes," Sonny said, nodding firmly.

"YES!" Tawni squealed, and practically ran over to go sit on Gilderoy's desk, blabbering about her many talents and... something about a rubber pencil? I don't even know.

Meanwhile, the two of us walked calmly backstage. Well, I walked calmly. Sonny kind of just stalked. Her forced smile had by then evaporated, and now she was ranting. "I can't believe Gilderoy tried to do that to us!"

"Yeah, he's a jerk," I agreed. "I can't believe I read that book for nothing." I made a face. Sonny blinked at me, then lowered her gaze and said seriously, "You know, Tawni and I made a pact earlier that we shouldn't tell anyone's secrets, and I think that we should probably do the same thing." She looked up and stared at me directly in the eye.

Oh, God. I almost panicked. She knew, didn't she? She knew that I'd been lying, I could see it in those big brown eyes of hers, darn it. Well, since she already knew, there was no point in hiding it any longer.

After a bit of internal struggle, I blurted out, "Ok, fine, I didn't read the book."

Sonny gave me a strange look, and after a second I realized how utterly stupid I sounded. Of course she wasn't talking about that dumb book I was supposed to have read. Duh. Why the hell would she be? "Oh, you were talking about between _us_." I gestured from her to me, and she nodded slowly, her expression almost a grimace.

I grinned. "Well, we don't have secrets." My grin slid off my face. "Do we?" I asked uncertainly.

Sonny's eyes widened. "I... dunno. Do we?"

We stared blankly at each other for a several long moments, then Sonny laughed. Her laugh didn't sound like her usual laugh. This was more high pitched. Hmm. "Psh. Of course we don't. I mean, why would we, it's not like there's anything we'd be... keeping from each other..." Her voice kind of trailed off at that.

"Yeah," I said quickly. Why did my face feel so hot all of a sudden? "Because if we were keeping something from each other, we'd know, right? Since, well, we know almost everything about each other." I resisted the urge to add "unfortunately" at the end of that statement, because now didn't feel like the right time to tease Sonny.

"Exactly! So we're good. I mean, I know you like the back of my hand, and I'm positive you aren't hiding anything from me." Her confident expression suddenly looked unsure. "Right, Chad?"

Great. Now my face was flushing all over. "Er..." I stammered. "No?"

"You aren't sure?" she asked, her brow furrowing.

I cleared my throat. "Of course I'm sure." Then a thought occurred to me, and I shot her a look of accusation. "What about you, huh? Are you sure _you _aren't keeping secrets from me?"

"Wha - I - I mean - pfft! Psh! No!" She waved her hand dismissively, but I noticed that she wasn't meeting my eyes anymore.

Silence.

Then...

"You are keeping something from me, aren't you?" I asked.

She rubbed her arm absently and looked guilty. Aha! The Chad was right again, as usual. "I don't - I - " She took a deep breath and sighed. "I don't know," she murmured. "Maybe." She peered at me through her long eyelashes. "And so are you."

Appalled, I opened my mouth to argue, then shut it and reopened it several times. I cleared my throat once more and shoved my hands in my pockets. "Possibly." I was really reluctant to admit it, but some annoying voice inside me was telling me that there really was something I'd been keeping from her since I don't know when. I guess I'd been aware of it for a while, but I'd never really come to terms with it.

"So what are we going to do about it?" Sonny asked

"Tell each other, I guess," I offered.

Now she looked apprehensive. "That might be harder than it sounds."

"Might as well try." I fidgeted nervously. What was this? The greatest actor of our generation was _nervous_? No way. Chad Dylan Cooper does not get nervous.

And yet... I kind of/sort of/maybe felt a teeny, tiny bit nervous.

I don't usually do this whole confession thing, ok?

"Ok, um..." I racked my brain to think of some way to start. "I actually hate nuts," I finally admitted.

She scoffed and said sarcastically, "Really, now? Well, I definitely didn't see _that _one coming."

"You know, that was hard for me to say, so don't be so hateful," I admonished her. She gawked at me. "_I'm _hateful? Me? Oh, sure, because I'm the one that goes around shoving puppies and tossing egg salads at people."

"Oh, yeah?" I glared at her, anger flaring inside me. I prodded her shoulder fiercely. "You're the one who always goes around acting like Little Miss Perfect, with your stupid soft hair and your stupid... argggh," I flailed my arms around in the air at her, and she stepped back a bit, looking startled. I went on angrily, "And you're always messing with my feelings, and you know what? I hate it! So yes, that makes you hateful!" I folded my arms and smirked triumphantly.

She just stared at me, slack jawed. I didn't understand why she was lookng at me like that until she spoke. "...What?" Sonny finally said in a tiny voice. "Messing with your feelings? Are you trying to say that - "

I felt my eyes grow huge. Oh, great. This was like Selena all over again. "No!" I burst out, desperately trying to do damage control. "I don't like you! Get off my back, woman!"

She stared some more. "I never said anything about you liking me," she whispered.

Aw, crap. Someone just shoot me, please. "But-But-" I stammered helplessly. "Well... you implied it!"

"No, I didn't."

"Yeah, but..." I stuttered a bit more, then sighed and rubbed my forehead. "Urgh. I'm so, so confused."

Sonny didn't appear to have heard me. I guess she was more concerned about the subject that I'd (stupidly) brought up. "I mean, wait a second. Us... liking each other?"

Oh, jeez. This discussion of ours was starting to get nerve wracking. My palms were actually sweating. What the heck? "Yeah, I mean, I don't really want to talk about my feelings in front of a live studio audience," I said, trying and failing to sound relaxed.

"Yeah, yeah, right!" Sonny agreed quickly, looking flustered. "Especially feelings that we've never talked about before."

"Yeah." I frowned. "Do you have feelings?"

"Do _you_ have feelings?" she shot back.

We stared each other down uncertainly. My hands felt sweatier than ever, but I refused to wipe them on my pants, because than Sonny would see and she'd think I was, like, quietly freaking out. Or something. And I was, actually, but she did _not_ need to know that.

"I mean," I started to say haltingly, "since you're really asking, and it's just... just the two of us..."

"Right, and there's, like, no cameras this time or anything," she pointed out shyly.

I fidgeted as I struggled to say something that would sound clever or witty or charming. Because Chad Dylan Cooper is _never_ at a loss for words. Not counting that particular moment. "I really - it's just tha - "

"No, listen," she cut in, with a warm smile. "It's what I'm here for."

I felt myself relax a bit as I saw how completely understanding she looked. Maybe this wasn't going to be that bad...

"You go first," Sonny said hurriedly.

"No, you go first," I retorted.

"You go - well, ok, um... same time."

"Yeah." I nodded and looked down, avoiding looking directly at her for as long as I possibly could.

After a short pause, Sonny said, "One."

Was she stalling? I looked back up at her in time to see her cheerful expression dissolve. "Two..." she went on slowly. Now her expression reminded me of a deer caught in the headlights.

Yep, definitely stalling.

Fine by me.

"I was gonna say that, yeah." I licked my lips nervously, trying to prolong the silence. "Um. Two and a half?" I offered helpfully.

She shook her head. "Ok, the counting's not working out. Let's just... say it right now and get it over with."

Darn it. I didn't want to show how freaked out I was, though, so I just nodded tersely, then took a few deep, calming breaths. _Man up, Chad, you can do it, _I told myself.

"Kinda," I admitted in a rush, before I could chicken out.

"Just a tiny bit," she blurted at the exact same time.

We stared at each other blankly. My mouth dropped open, and so did hers. "Really?" we asked together. Sonny's face turned bright red. "Yeah, well, I mean, I guess I always thought you were, um, attractive. Ish. But I'm completely over it," she added quickly. "I don't have any, er, feelings. Not anymore. I swear."

"Oh," I said, feeling a tiny bit disappointed, for some reason. "Yeah, uh, same here. Sure, when I met you the second time I thought you were pretty, but now? Pfft. No feelings whatsoever. Because... that would just be awkward."

"Oh." Her face, which had actually perked up slightly when I mentioned that I'd thought she was pretty, fell a tiny bit, then she smiled. "Yeah. Well, that's good to know. Phew."

"Phew," I repeated, swinging my arms at my sides. That aggravating voice inside me compelled me to say something more. I hesitated before continuing. "And even if we _did _still, you know, have those feelings for each other, it's not like we could do anything about it. Right?"

"Totally," she said unenthusiastically. "Our casts hate each other. We're enemies, so it would never work out." She shrugged her shoulders. "Good thing we haven't got any feelings, huh?"

"Yep. We probably would've made a good couple, though. Maybe." I paused thoughtfully before saying, "Not that I care."

"I know," she sighed. "Guess it's just the way it's meant to be."

I gazed at her for a second, trying to figure out why she looked kind of depressed. "You ok, Sonny?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah! I'm better than ok!" She smiled at me, and I was relieved to see that she seemed normal again.

"Great." And you know, I actually felt a lot better. Like, lighter, if that makes any sense. "Whoo. Glad we got that over with. I feel like this big load's been lifted off of my shoulders," I laughed, shoving my hands back in my pockets again.

She grinned her perky grin. "Me, too!" Her chocolate colored eyes softened, and her big grin became a sweet, shy smile. "You know, Chad, that was... so much easier to say than I thought it was going to be."

I smirked and raised my fist. "No more secrets?"

She bumped my knuckles lightly with hers and giggled. "No more secrets," she agreed, then gestured to me with her hand. "C'mon, we better get back out there."

"I'll be with you in a sec," I told her, stepping back to let her go. Sonny smiled again before brushing past me to go back onstage. I patted her back as she went out, feeling the need to reassure her that everything was going to be ok now. I dunno why.

I sat down on the leather sofa and spent a few minutes thinking. I was a bit surprised, I suppose. I mean, I'd seriously thought that for the past few months she'd been completely obsessed with me. Well, ok, maybe not obsessed, I guess I'd just been exaggerating whenever I said that... but it had sort of seemed like she felt _something_. I guess I was wrong. Huh. Weird. I'm never wrong.

Well, guess there's a first time for everything.

After pondering over the whole situation, I figured the audience was probably missing my amazing presence, so I got up and walked leisurely back onto the stage, where Sonny was already seated calmly in her chair. I sat down next to her, met her gaze, and gave her a charming wink, which made her giggle. From his desk, Gilderoy glowered moodily at us for no apparent reason. Obviously the dude has some serious issues.

Tawni, on the other hand, just glanced at Sonny and me occassionally with a sly smile on her face, like she knew something we didn't. Hm. I wonder what happened while we were gone?

Anyway, there wasn't much time left on the show. Gilderoy asked us a few half-hearted questions (I guess he'd given up on getting any scandalous dirt and gossip from us), and we answered as honestly as possible without revealing anything. Then finally, after what felt like ages, Tawni shoved her face in front of the camera and said, "This was Gotcha! with Tawni Hart! Good night, everybody, and don't forget to watch me on So Random every Friday!" And with that the show was over.

Thank. God.

So there you have it. That is what happened backstage.

Yeah, ok, so maybe the dumb relationship wizard was right, and I was in denial. Maybe I did have a _small_ crush on Sonny Munroe. So what? It's not that big a deal. Sheesh. Get over it and find a hobby.

Trust me, I'm completely over her. The whole thing was like... like a cold. Sick for a few days, then poof! Gone. Vanished. All better! Sonny can go look as cute as she wants, but it won't affect me in the slightest. Really. Know why? 'Cause I have no feelings for her. None. Nada.

All right. Now that that's all cleared up, I think I'm going to go to sleep now. I'm exhausted.

And just in case this has slipped your minds, NO BLABBING. To anyone. I'm completely serious here. Got it? Good.

Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>Review please? ;3<strong>

**Also, if anyone has any topic suggestions for future chapters, please suggest them! I'm trying to see what'll happen if I plan these things ahead of time instead of writing whatever pops into my mind.**

**Bye for now!**

**~Ginger**


	25. Rollercoasters

**Hey, there! Sorry it's been so long. I had a difficult time writing this chapter. I hope you'll forgive me, though. c:**

**Haven't got much else to say, so enjoyyy!**

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><p>Hello again, my wonderful fans! Missed me much? Sorry to keep you waiting. As the greatest actor of our generation, I've been extremely busy. First there's filming for Mack Falls to do, and then there's bossing my personal assistant, Bart, around, and then I have to give interviews and whatnot. Oh, and mess with Munroe and the other Randoms. That's a necessary part of my day that can't be skipped.<p>

But don't despair! I'm back and ready to give you lovely people yet another spoonful of my wisdom.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, things have gone back to normal since the Gilderoy thing. Sonny and I haven't talked about it at all, so it's basically like it never happened, which is just the way I prefer it. Though I guess you could say we've been just a tad nicer to each other lately. When I dropped my script papers, she helped me pick them all up instead of just pointing and giggling at me. I opened a door for her without her asking me to. Stuff like that.

I'm sort of hoping that this little truce will end really soon, though. Is that weird? I don't know. It feels like ages since we've had a good fight, and I miss bickering with her.

Another thing I'm hoping is that Penelope and Chloe will quit pestering me about what Sonny and I talked about backstage. It's incredibly annoying. Thank God Devon and Trevor aren't giving me any problems about it.

Anyway, I've wasted enough time. On to business.

**Chad Dylan Cooper On Rollercoasters**

Oh, dear God. I do NOT like rollercoasters. At all. First off, I'm not a big fan of how high those things can go. Heights are right up there on my top list of enemies, right next to Zac Efron and dolphins.

Second, I fail to see how anyone could possibly enjoy zooming throught the air, or going up and down at breakneck speeds that make you want to hurl. How? How the hell is this FUN? That's not fun, it's horrifying.

Some people say rollercoasters give them an adrenaline rush. That's a load of crap. All they give you is an intense fear that you're going to fall off the rollercoaster and splat to your death on the ground sixty feet below you. But you people don't want to admit that because it'll make you look like a chicken, so you try to pass off your screams (or, in my case, manly yells) of extreme terror as the result of adrenaline.

It's fine to admit that I'm right. You all _know_ the Chad is right. So don't bother trying to deny it.

Now I'm sure you're wondering what _my _experience with rollercoasters was like, yes? Eh. It doesn't bring back pleasant memories, but I'll tell you about it anyway, since sharing every bit of my Chadly wisdom with you guys is what I'm here for.

One day at the Falls (aka Stage 2), my cast and I happened to have an entire day off after finishing a Mack Falls taping incredibly early. I think the majority of us were probably just going to head home and chill, but Chloe, who'd just joined our cast at the time, just happened to have other ideas. Unfortunately.

"Guys, you know what I think we should do?" she announced as we were lounging on our comfy sofas. When we all just looked at her, she went on, "There's this fair going on nearby, and I think we should go to it together!"

When we continued to stare blankly at her, she went on to explain how she always used to go to fairs back in her hometown and how they were really fun and we should go because we'd so enjoy ourselves and it'd be great for bonding and blah blah blah.

I don't really care much for fairs, since they aren't exactly on my list of places where I cool dude like me would hang out. If it had been anyone else, I would've immediately told them this, but since Chloe was the new girl of our cast, I chose to say nothing at all. Then, since Penelope and Devon looked like they were about to start making fun of Chloe, I shot them both warning looks, and they followed my lead.

Our silence obviously disturbed Chloe. "Well? What do you think, Chad?" she asked, turning to me with a hopeful expression on her face. She'd only been here for a few weeks and she already knew that I made all the decisions around here. Smart girl.

I arched an eyebrow, all the while trying to figure out what would be the fastest, easiest way to crush her hopes. "Yeah, see, the thing is, Chloe, we don't usually do that sort of thing - "

"Yeah, Chloe," Penelope cut in, which annoyed me to no end, because I really hate being interrupted. "If you want to be on the A-list, you have to _act _like you belong there."

"Going to a fair doesn't cut it," Trevor added helpfully.

Penelope nodded firmly. "Exactly. And if you want to do something as lame as ride ferris wheels and eat hot dogs all day, then you might as well go join those So Random losers, because there's no place for you here." I blinked. That was a tiny bit harsh. All the same, I kind of agreed. And I wasn't that surprised that Penelope would be the first one to get on Chloe's back about this, because as far as I can tell, she's never really liked Chloe. I'm guessing she just hates having competition. And believe me, when she thinks she's got competition, that chick can be downright scary.

Anyway.

Chloe, who had been looking more dejected with every word that Penelope said, suddenly perked up and looked around at me. "Oh, yeah, the Randoms will be there, too!"

Why she thought this bit of information would interest me, I have no idea.

But ok, I guess I _was_ a tiny bit more interested in her proposition. Just because I hadn't seen any of them at all that day, and if I missed my daily activity of bugging Munroe, the results may have been awful. The world might have ended. You never know. So, yes, Chloe'd gotten my full attention now. "Why?" I asked dubiously.

Chloe shrugged. "I dunno. I think they're doing charity work or something. But if we went there, we could direct attention away from them and onto us! We'd get more publicity for ourselves and promote Mack Falls, and, at the same time, get a chance to irritate the Randoms, which you people seem to like to do for some reason. It'd be like... killing two birds with one stone! So how about it?"

Penelope sniffed. "I think that's the dumbest thing I ever heard."

"I second that notion," Devon agreed, looking up from his electric manscaping device (don't even ask).

Chloe blinked at me. "Chad?"

I pretended to think about this for a long while to make the situation more dramatic, even though I'd already made up my mind. "Well, you have a point. There's no such thing as too much publicity," I finally said. "So why not?"

After having to sit through a round of Chloe's triumphant 'Whoo!'ing and everyone else's groaning and protesting (not that they could do anything about it. As the most amazing teen heartthrob to set foot on this planet, my word is law), we grabbed some nifty disguises, jammed ourselves into Trevor's car, and drove over to the local fair.

Once we got there, Chloe spent about an hour showing us all the "neat" things to do at a fair (I'm not going to bother going into an amazing amount of description over what that hideous place looked like. Let's just put it this way: If you've ever been to a fair somewhere, most likely the fair we went to looked just like the one you went to. In the end they're really all the same). I, personally, was more interested in finding the Randoms, promoting ourselves and annoying them, and then getting the heck out of there. Also, I was curious about the kind of charity work they were doing. Not that I really cared.

After a while of aimless wandering around, playing stupid carnival games, and riding on dumb little rides, I decided that enough was enough. Turning to my cast, I said seriously, "All right, I hope you guys had a good time - "

"We did!" Chloe said happily at the exact same time Penelope muttered, "Yeah, right."

I acted like they hadn't spoken. " - but now it's on to business." I then gave the order to split up and go do some self-promoting for the Falls, so that all these potential fans would watch our show instead of going to dumb places like this stupid fair. Or bookstores (which have absolutely nothing to do with this topic, but I felt like adding that in because it's true. Bookstores are a pointless, complete waste of space).

I don't really know how exactly they went about promoting our show or if they were even successful. I don't particularly care. Because as soon as they'd left to go around the fair grounds advertising themselves, I set off to go satisfy my overwhelming curiosity about the Randoms' charity work.

I'm not entirely sure why, but I absolutely _had _to know what it was they were doing. As hard as it is to believe, this was just more important than the Falls at the moment.

Yeah, I know. I can't believe I even wrote that.

I strolled around the area, trying to be inconspicious (which was hard, since Chad Dylan Cooper and the word 'inconspicious' don't usually go together). It took forever to find those Randoms, but my determination paid off when I heard two annoyingly familiar voices and looked over to see Cloudy and Rainy. Ugh.

They were sitting at one of those booths where you throw some balls through a hoop, and if you get them all in you get some kind of dumb stuffed animal as a prize. So _that _was their charity work. Lame.

But where were the other Randoms?

I casually sidled up, hoping they wouldn't see through my disguise so that I could interrogate them. "Hello, good sirs. How are you on this fine morn?"

They gave me a strange look. "Dude, why are you talking like that?" asked Gravy or Grady or whatever his name is. Well, at least they didn't seem to recognize me. Ignoring his question, I summoned up all my acting skills and widened my eyes, pretending to be shocked. "I know you two! You're on So Random!"

They both grinned and high fived. "I knew someone would recognize us sooner or later!" exclaimed Hippo. Or maybe his name's Nico. I forgot. I'll just call him Hippo.

I resisted to urge to roll my eyes at their idiocy. "Of course, you guys are great!" I somehow managed to choke out. Then I made a big show of looking around. "But wait... where's the rest of your cast? And why are you here, anyway?"

You'd think they would get suspicious of why I was asking them these things, or at least notice how familiar I looked. But they didn't. In fact, they were only too eager to explain exactly why they were there. Haha, suckas! Randoms are so easy to manipulate (well, except for Sonny, I suppose... but she doesn't really count). Turns out Sonny pestered all the Randoms to come to the fair to raise some money for some charity for kids (big surprise), and even though they didn't want to, she'd got Marshall to support her idea, and he _made _them go.

"Ok," I said, trying not to let my frustration show as they both _finally_ finished their unnecessarily long-winded explanation. "So where are the others?"

Hippo tapped his chin. "Well, Zora's sick, so she's not here. Grady and I were assigned here, and Sonny and Tawni were assigned to the kissing booth."

My brain didn't really register what he'd just said, so I simply nodded. "Really?"

He nodded solemnly. "Yep." A grin split across his face. "They're not enjoying it," he chortled, elbowing Gravy, who laughed along with him.

I allowed myself a small smirk, imagining the look on Sonny's face at the idea of kissing some random stranger. Knowing her, she probably wasn't going to really -

Whoa. Hold on a minute.

...Sonny Munroe was working at a kissing booth.

_A kissing booth._

Which meant she had to kiss about a gazillion people.

On the lips.

K-I-S-S.

I had a sudden urge to have a tantrum and kick something. Of course, that would've been extremely childish and uncool, so I used my extraordinary talent to push down that urge and pretend to be as casual as ever. Even though I looked completely calm, cool, and collected on the outside, my mind was racing. Didn't Munroe know that you could get all sorts of diseases from kissing so many people in one day? I mean, come on! It's common knowlege! God, was she stupid or something? "Where is this kissing booth exactly? Just out of curiosity. I don't actually care."

"Down there," Gravy supplied helpfully, pointing off in the opposite direction. "It's near the popcorn stand."

So now, since I was the only one with common sense around there, apparently, it was up to me to go to her rescue. Again. Urggghh. I seriously hate it when she does this to me. I could be doing much better things than saving her butt all the time, but _nooo._

"Uh, dude, is your eye twitching?" Hippo asked, peering at me closely. Then he blinked. "Hey, do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar..."

Not good not good not good. I gasped dramatically and pointed somewhere to the left. "Look, it's the secret entrance to Narnia!"

As I expected, those chumps practically tripped over themselves to go see what I was pointing at. As soon as they looked away, BAM! The Chad was gone and off to save the day!

-cue Indiana Jones theme song-

I knew I'd arrived at the kissing booth the second I saw... well, the sign that said 'The Kissing Booth'. But what really clued me in was the the long line. DEAR GOD. That was a seriously LONG line. Didn't these people have anything better to do?

Sonny was sitting at the booth, looking slightly resigned, but she perked up as this one guy (who I guess girls would consider handsome, but trust me, he wasn't) moved to the front of the line. Well, if she thought that she was going to kiss that clumpnugget, she had another thing coming!

I jogged over to the booth and stepped casually in front of the clumpnugget. "Excuse me, greatest actor of his generation coming through," I said for his ears only. Then I turned my gaze on Sonny, who was staring at me with her jaw practically hitting the ground, and said in fake surprise, "Oh, wow, Sonny Munroe! What's up? I'm a big fan! Can I have your autograph?"

Her brown eyes narrowed at me, and she opened her mouth to reply. But just then the guy behind me said indignantly, "Hey, get to the back of the line! I was here first!"

I scoffed. "Big deal."

"You wanna go, buddy?" he growled, clenching his fists.

I replied simply by reaching into my pocket and handing him twenty bucks (it pained me to do that, but it was for a good cause).

Immediately, his defenses went down, and he snatched the money out of my hand. "Swweeettt," he crowed before walking away. I smirked. Score one for Chad Dylan Cooper!

I was distracted from my success when Munroe reached over and whacked me lightly on the head. "Chad!" she hissed in a low voice. Dammit, she'd recognized me. She seems to have this uncanny ability to see through my brilliant disguises. It's not fair. "Why did you do that? What is the _matter_ with you?"

I glowered at her. "What's the matter with me? What's the matter with _you_?" Gesturing to where she was standing at, I went on, "A kissing booth? Are you really that desperate to get to first base with someone? That's just sad."

"You're such a jerk."

"I know. You tell me at least five times a day."

She huffed and folded her arms. "I didn't _ask_ to do this, but it's where I was assigned. Trust me, it's not exactly my idea of fun. But all the money we earn is going to charity, so I just have to grin and bear it." As if to prove her point, she plastered a huge grin on her face, though her eyes were still practically throwing poison darts at me. "Besides, my shift's almost over."

I shook my head. "Why is everything always about stupid charity with you?"

"For your information, Chad, it's nice to help people, and it feels good to be doing something for others, which is something you'll probably never understand. So I shouldn't even bother explaining."

I raised an eyebrow. "That's your idea of an insult? Jeez, Munroe, you're lacking creativity."

Her grin disappeared. "Look, you're holding up the line, so unless you've got anything else to tell me, please go away. There are starving children depending on me."

I was going to roll my eyes, but then suddenly an idea hit me. Sonny was sitting there, right in front of me, willingly offering to kiss anyone for the mere price of one dollar. And the best part was, it was for charity, so she wouldn't turn anyone away. So if I happened to, I dunno, slip her a dollar, maybe...

Ok, I know what you're probably thinking right now. Probably something along the lines of, "OMG HE LIKES HER AHHH FANGIRL GIGGLE TIME".

Have we not cleared this up already? I do NOT like Sonny like that. Besides, you people haven't even given me a chance to explain. I didn't want to kiss her because I _like _her. No, ew, what, that's just wrong.

It's just that I was curious. She didn't have a boyfriend, which was great and all, because the majority of the guys she did happen to date were idiots, but... why? Why was she single exactly? Was she a bad kisser? Or was she so good a kisser that guys who dated her felt totally inadequate and went to hide under a hole from shame?

Most likely it's the first one. I don't think the latter is possible.

Still, though. I'm Chad Dylan Cooper. It's my business to know everything and anything.

Therefore I had to know.

See? My logic makes perfect sense.

"Actually, I do have something else to tell you," I said, smirking.

"Oh, really?" she asked dryly.

I suavely whipped out a dollar and placed it in front of her. "I'd like to help those starving children, too," I announced, giving her an innocent smile.

For a moment she just stared down at the dollar. When she looked back up, her eyes were wider than usual. "You're kidding. Right?" I just looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Oh my gosh," she said slowly, her expression one of disbelief. "You've lost your mind."

"Have I, Sonny? Have I really?"

She ignored me. "I'm not going to kiss you!"

"But Sonny," I said, placing my hand dramatically over my heart. "Think of those poor kids."

"I am! But - "

I pursed my lips thoughtfully. "You know, I think I can almost hear those starving children crying right now..."

While she was busy stammering and trying to prolong the inevitable, the people behind me were starting to grumble impatiently. I guess she noticed this, because her shoulders slumped, and she muttered, "I hate you."

I grinned. "And...?"

She sighed. "Let's just... get this over with." She rested her elbows on the table and leaned closer to me, so that our noses were almost touching. I did not expect her to do that. I almost jumped from surprise. Instead, I just gulped at the closeness and tried to look like I wasn't taken aback at all.

Her eyes were sort of darting frantically from side to side, and when she spoke next her voice was a tiny bit squeaky, like she'd just realized the hugeness of what she was going to do. "Ready when you are."

I cleared my throat. "Um, yeah. Ok." Wait. Was I supposed to make the first move? Or was she? I didn't know. My mind had gone completely blank. Ah, hell.

Deciding to just go for it, I moved my head forward just a bit. Munroe had squeezed her eyes tightly shut, and her breath was coming out sounding slightly ragged. Well. That did not help my nerves at all. Why does she do this to me? She's so annoying.

All right. Just a bit closer... man up, Chad.

Getting even closer... just a bit more space to fill now...

_Closer..._

All of a sudden, this alarm sitting on the countertop that I hadn't noticed before made a _ding! _noise.

Sonny jerked away from me, and her eyes snapped open. Relief flooded over her features. "My shift's over!" she gasped out, looking a bit flustered. "Um, well... bye." With that she darted away before I could even protest.

As soon as she left, Blondie appeared in the spot where'd she'd just been standing, a tube of lipstick in her hands. "Oh, the guys here had better be cuter than the last time..." Then she looked up, saw me, and groaned. "Oh, come on!"

Oh, no. I was definitely not going to put my lips on _hers_. Blegh. "Feeling's mutual, Blondie," I said curtly. "I think I'll just be going now."

"Please do," she said, her face reflecting the disgust I was feeling.

I got out of the line, then pushed my way through the crowd of people, heading off in the direction I'd seen Sonny going in. I'd paid a dollar for a kiss, and I was going to get that stupid kiss whether she liked it or not!

I eventually found her lounging in the shade of a tree, licking some ice cream off of a cone. When she saw me approaching, she immediately brandished her ice cream cone at me and said in a panicky voice, "Don't come any closer!"

"Sonny - "

"I have an ice cream cone, and I'm not afraid to use it!" she interrupted stubbornly, scrunching up her face in a was that somehow came out looking really cute.

"Oh, yes, I'm so scared now," I said sarcastically. "Look, I just want to talk, all right?"

She reluctantly lowered the ice cream. "What do you want now? And if you want what I think you want, the answer is no."

"I gave a dollar to your dumb charity. You owe me a kiss," I told her, frowning.

"It is not dumb!"

"You're missing the point."

She shook her head. "I have kissed enough people today, ok? I don't want to have to add _you_ to the list, too. I just want to eat my ice cream, ride on the rollercoaster, and then go home and watch Wizards of Waverly Place for the rest of the night."

I was momentarily distracted as she mentioned one of my most hated enemies, the rollercoaster. "Why would you want to ride on a rollercoaster? Those things are horrifying." And the one at that particular fair was the worst I've ever seen. It was so big and tall and there was a humongous drop and... and... ugh. I shudder to think about it.

"Well, I've never ridden one that big before, and I've always wanted to."

"Trust me, you don't."

She smiled. "What, is the great CDC afraid of a rollercoaster? Who'd've thunk it?"

I scoffed. "I'm not afraid of anything."

"Sure you aren't."

I wasn't liking where this conversation was heading. Time to switch back to the previous subject. "I paid for a kiss," I insisted.

Sonny let out an exasperated sigh, tossed her unfinished ice cream cone in the trash, and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail. "Ok, how about this. If you ride the rollercoaster with me, I'll give you a kiss."

Hell. Why did I turn the conversation onto rollercoasters? Why why why? "That is so not fair."

A devious smile played upon her lips. "Take it or leave it."

This is why I hate associating with those idiot Randoms.

About ten minutes later, I found myself squashed in a rollercoaster seat with Sonny, clutching the bar thing that kept us securely in the seat (or so they claimed) so hard that it felt like my hands might just break off. Sonny, on the other hand, looked a teeny bit tense, but otherwise calm. For once in my entire life, I envied her. "How can you be so relaxed?" I snapped.

"Chad, we're perfectly safe here," she said patiently. "You have to learn to face your fear."

"Chad Dylan Cooper fears nothing!"

She actually laughed at me. She _laughed _at me. I was insulted. "Excuse me, I don't think the fact that I might possibly die on this thing is amusing!"

She grinned. "You're not going to die. Trust me."

"Trusting a Random is not on the list of things I usually do," I said, then clutched the bar tighter as the rollercoaster started to move forward. "If I fall off this thing and die today it'll all be your fault, and if you give me a horrible funeral I swear I will come back and haunt you until you beg for forgiveness, but I won't forgive you because you killed me," I ranted. Why did I agree to this?

"Chad, look at me." Her voice was so compelling that I couldn't help but glance sideways at her. I was surprised to see how completely understanding she looked. "I'll be right here the whole time. I won't let you fall. Promise." She reached over and put her hand on top of mine, giving me a reassuring smile.

I didn't relax completely when she said that, because, as I've said before, trusting a Random is quite possibly the stupidest thing you could ever do. But I didn't feel like hyperventilating anymore.

I hate to admit this, but I still closed my eyes anyway when we came to the long drop.

I would describe how it went. But as it is, there are no words to describe that experience. No words. Except maybe this:

It.

Was.

HORRIBLE.

You people who like rollercoasters are insane.

INSANE, I SAY.

After what felt like ages, the rollercoaster finally came to a standstill. My throat was hoarse from all that manly yelling, and my stomach still felt like it was doing acrobatics. That's not a good combination. As soon as we were allowed to get out, I clambered out of the seat and dropped to my knees on the solid ground. I was tempted to kiss the ground, for a moment, but that would've been disgusting, so I just croaked out, "Oh, earth. I'll never leave you again."

Sonny hopped out of the seat and came up beside me. She had also been screaming the whole time on the rollercoaster, but her screams were joyful. _Joyful. _There's something wrong with her. "Oh, come on, Chad, it wasn't that bad," she laughed.

"Yes, it was," I snapped, getting shakily to my feet and clutching a nearby fencepost for balance. "I can't believe you took me on that horrifying ride."

She rolled her eyes. "You're overreacting."

"I am not! I'm reacting the way a _normal _person would. You're the one that's..." I struggled to think of a word that would properly describe her lack of horror. "...underreacting."

"Underreacting," she repeated, looking like she was trying not to crack up at my expense. I glared at her. "You heard me."

She held up her hands appeasingly. "Ok, ok, whatever, Chad. I guess I can't really change your mind about rollercoasters, then. Too bad. Well, I'll just be going..." She started to slip past me, but I'd just remembered exactly why I'd endured that terrifying ride, and I grabbed unsteadily at her hand before she could get away. "Oh, no, you don't. I did not ride that thing for nothing. You have to kiss me."

Her face fell. "Oh, come on, do I have to?"

I nodded, frowning. "And don't even try to squirm your way out of this, because you owe me after what I just went through."

She sighed, then said slowly, hesitantly, "Well, ok..."

I grinned. _Finally._

Then my grin slipped away when she leaned over, gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and started to skip away.

"Hey!" I yelled after her, resisting the urge to stamp my foot like a child having a tantrum. "That is NOT what I meant!"

She glanced over her shoulder at me, a ginormous smile on her face. "I kissed you, didn't I? I'm sure you got your money's worth."

I should've known she would try to do this to me. "You tricked me!"

She laughed in this cute way that sort of made me want to strangle her. "Well, maybe you should be more specific next time. Ciao!" And before I could say anything, she was gone.

I hate her. So much.

Anyway, after that, I somehow managed to compose myself before going to search for my cast. Once I found them (they were eating cinnamon pretzel sticks, which made me nauseous), we left that horrible place and never went back.

So. The lessons of today are 1) Rollercoasters are horrible and you shouldn't ride them unless you're mentally deranged, and 2) Don't trust Randoms, because they're backstabbing liars. Oh, and 3) Chloe's idea of fun is usually not fun.

That's about all I can say. I don't want to talk about this anymore, it's making me feel ill.

Well.

CDC out. Peace out, suckas!

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><p><strong>Ehehe... I had a lot of trouble with this chapter, because I haven't been to a fair since I was a kid. And I've never actually ridden one of those ginormous rollercoasters before, because I'm kind of scared to. I mean, they're so big. So... I'm not entirely sure how realistic this is, haha xD I tried to avoid detail as much as I possibly could.<strong>

**But I do hope you guys liked it anyway. The ones of you who still actually read this story, since it seems like a lot of you are gone now...**

**I miss SWAC :'c**

**Anywho. Thanks for reading, and I'd appreciate it if you could review! :3**

**~Ginger**


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